posted November 17, 2011 09:06 PM            

quote:

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The other stuff about you losing weight and whether you should buy a playstation... I think that's more his Scorpio side being invasive. [/B]

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Haha, as for the weight, I brush it off. If he pulls it again, I'm gonna have to use the wild card - "That's not what (insert guy name here) said! He said I looked perfect!!"

posted November 17, 2011 09:08 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by amowls**:
I see. I don't do possessive. I find it very unattractive.

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Curious, what are your aspects? Are you more of a carefree type? Some Sagittarius traits? (sorry, just really randomly guessing - still a no0b in astrology, but trying to learn)

posted November 17, 2011 09:09 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Betty Boop:
Actually he sounds like every Capricorn Mars person I know... and you sound like every Libra Mars person I know -- when it comes to the arguments you are having about you being a party girl and going out and drinking etc.

You're just different and you will always be different when it comes to this... so if you can put up with the differences - I guess it's all good.. If it annoys you too much, you can always end things.

The other stuff about you losing weight and whether you should buy a playstation... I think that's more his Scorpio side being invasive.

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That's what I was thinking too.

posted November 17, 2011 09:14 PM            

Should I be sh*tting my pants?
Sorry, gosh, I am just not really lady-like today, am I?

posted November 17, 2011 09:15 PM            

it might be cute now, it might be something small and that's usually how it starts but those are the kind of things some people consider to be 'red flags' when they're starting things off...

it's not gonna get any better and he's not going to get any less manipulative and in fact, he's bound to somehow at least figure out some side of you and then, it'll be more subtle and that's not good... it can get ugly.

it's not about the gym; that's something i think would be a good thing since u both have the mars squaring sun in synastry (u gotta release it, somehow), it's the fact that you don't want to do it and the fact that he's gone about it in more than one way even to where he told you u could lose 10lbs..

u may be strong NOW, but after a while of hearing that kind of shi!t form the person you're supposed to be intimate with and trust, it'll get to you; u may not know it til it's wayyyyyyyyy over and done with but it takes it's toll.. a partner, imo, would help strengthen you and encourage you not demean you or undermine you or be intimidated by your strength and try something underhanded so that they'd get their way.

if you're not looking at it for what it's worth now, you definitely don't want to be around and looking at it straight in the face on a day that you might be down..

saturn's in your twelfth house..

when you do the synastry again, add aspect lines to chiron, would u?

that's just my take on it.. it doesn't sound healthy; whether u want 'healthy' or not, i don't know.. some people want twisted relationships and that's cool, imo if they know what they're getting into and are able to face it and admit that it's what they want but if they're expecting things to become something they're not and won't ever be, they're up for quite a rough cycle and with your mars square neptune, i feel it a need to point it out to you because it can easily be swept under the rug (i know because i have that placement, too; mine is supported by other aspects, though..)

there is an EXACT opposition between his neptune and your chiron.. do some research on abusive or toxic relationships and maybe read some of the stories if you're able to find what people share so that maybe that way, you could maybe have something to refer to and be aware of if any of it does take place.

posted November 17, 2011 09:25 PM            

Here's the synastry with the lines:

posted November 17, 2011 09:27 PM            

you do that by seeing the good in them as well as the bad; they're both worth respect and worth acknowledging and cherishing!

never think that anyone is too good to do something that won't be to your benefit.. there can be a looot of things that go on between people that have been happily together for years at a time and personally, i don't think that i know any of em.

so unless you can afford the heartbreak and u have the support to hold you steady for if you find yourself needing to take some time to mend a broken heart, i suggest you get your as$ in shape (no gym pun intended) because there's lot's more at stake here than just him telling you you're pleasantly plump.

take it as something serious... this is your life, your mental health, your spiritual health, it affects your intimate health and possibly even the physical; these are your experiences and the memories would be yours to keep and i think it's best you wake up and decide which one's of those you think would be the best to think back on!

continue it if you must, it is your relationship, know what you're involved in and what is required to get out of it, though.. don't ever put yourself in a position to lose; not for anyone, ever!

if your life was on the line, would u trust that person? that's what it boils down to.. pluto in capricorn is pulling no stops so know where your fidelity is and with whom; i suggest you work out the roles of the savior and victim because no party is free of any guilt or blame in those types of relationships and if you make an exit without getting to the heart of it, it'll repeat itself again later on; it takes the two to tango.

understand that there is abuse; the abused and the abuser; usually, the one who was once abused, ends up becoming the abuser themselves and if you've yet to get that far into his life story yet, i'd advise you to talk to him and get a gooood listen and try to understand because whatever b.s. he has gone through, he'll pass over to you and if you're up for dealing with it and have the tools necessary, then GREAT!!!! that's totally fine and i wouldn't think u have anything to worry about but if u don't (consider the possibility that u may and also the one where u may not) then i suggest u come to terms with it and get into shape!

posted November 17, 2011 09:30 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by malicefey:
I really appreciate all your input!

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posted November 17, 2011 09:33 PM            

After saying that, I'll just shut up.

posted November 17, 2011 09:36 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by tuxedoMask:
don't underestimate people; i know everyone has more than likely been taught that they should think and see the best in people but that's only partly true.. respect them!

you do that by seeing the good in them as well as the bad; never think that anyone is too good to do something that won't be to your benefit.. there can be a looot of things that go on between people that have been happily together for years at a time and personally, i don't think that i know any of em.

so unless you can afford the heartbreak and u have the support to hold you steady for if you find yourself needing to take some time to mend a broken heart, i suggest you get your as$ in shape (no gym pun intended) because there's lot's more at stake here than just him telling you you're pleasantly plump.

take it as something serious... this is you life, these are your experiences and the memories would be yours to keep and i think it's best you wake up and decide which one's of those you think would be the best to think back on!

continue it if you must, it is your relationship, know what you're involved in and what is required to get out of it, though.. don't ever put yourself in a position to lose, ever!

if your life was on the line, would u trust that person? that's what it boils down to.. pluto in capricorn is pulling no stops so know where your fidelity is and with whom; i suggest you work out the roles of the savior and victim because no party is free of any guilt or blame, it takes the two to tango.

understand that there is abuse; the abused and the abuser; usually, the one who was once abused, ends up becoming the abuser themselves and if you've yet to get that far into his life story yet, i'd advise you to talk to him and get a gooood listen and try to understand because whatever b.s. he has gone through, he'll pass over to you and if you're up for dealing with it and have the tools necessary, then GREAT!!!! that's totally fine and i wouldn't think u have anything to worry about but if u don't, get into shape!

FAST

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Astrology aside,

Wow! Good slap in the face! I think right now we are seeing each other *enough* during the week. It's not alot, actually, compared to my previous boyfriends. But I take the time to settle my home issues, see friends, and it's always great to hear everyone's opinions. I appreciate the fact that some of the best ones come from those you probably don't have any contact with..some! But right now, I am really more focused on myself, and I should...I have bigger life problems, and he knows that too. He was befuddled when I told him I'm not ready to show all my cards to him yet. The relationship is still early. He said he understands and backed off.

I hate being lonely, mainly because I've been lonely all my life. But sometimes I need that space. What I resent is the fact that I have done so much but it was never enough. (uh oh, mars square neptune into play?) I always keep a cheerful, happy attitude. I joke around ALOT, whether I'd be crass or abrasive or sarcastic or what not..but I need it in order to feel alive. Otherwise I would've seriously died a long time ago..lol no, I'm not suicidal. I'm over it!!!

posted November 17, 2011 09:43 PM            

the chiron placement is revealed here due to something that happened following their last post and i commented a little below halfway about it; hopefully it helps:
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/210322.html

posted November 17, 2011 09:59 PM            

As for him and I, it's still quite early. I think what needs to be done is a mature talk about all this between me and him. I genuinely, despite my short comings, want to become better. There's no point standing there crying in the middle of a vast dark sea if no one's gonna even hear you, gotta swim back to shore myself!

On a side note, I am scared of deep waters - totally random.

I also get startled by lightening + thundering at night.

Hahaha, Ok I'll stop

posted November 17, 2011 10:06 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by malicefey:
Wow, thanks! I've read up some good facts. To be honest, everybody has demons. Especially myself. I only share the obvious demons..some more "bigger" ones..well..I keep that disclosed.

As for him and I, it's still quite early. I think what needs to be done is a mature talk about all this between me and him. I genuinely, despite my short comings, want to become better. There's no point standing there crying in the middle of a vast dark sea if no one's gonna even hear you, gotta swim back to shore myself!

On a side note, I am scared of deep waters - totally random.

I also get startled by lightening + thundering at night.

Hahaha, Ok I'll stop

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not sure if this would be relevant or not but i used to be scared of dark water..

i got over that and i challenge myself a bit more each time i'm able to by going to the beach at night.. i then strip off all my clothes and get in the ocean and look dead at the horizon where it's all pitch, overpowering, all-consuming-of-the-vastness- BLACK!!!! ..

then i'd go far as i think the sea would allow me before i felt i might've reached my limit, turned around and headed the f*ck back!! it used to freak me out!

posted November 17, 2011 10:08 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by tuxedoMask:
not sure if this would be relevant or not but i used to be scared of dark water..

i got over that and i challenge myself a bit more each time i'm able to by going to the beach at night.. i then strip off all my clothes and get in the ocean and look dead the horizon where it's all pitch, overpowering, all-consuming-of-the-vastness- [b]BLACK!!!! ..

then i'd go far as i think the sea would allow me before i felt i might've reached my limit, turned around and headed the f*ck back!! it used to freak me out![/B]

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Hahaha, jee..that is pretty ball-sy of you..
I'm not a good swimmer.

When I was little, for the sake of trying to teach me how to swim and not hydrophobic, my aunt picked me up and threw me into a pool. All I remembered was sinking and trying desparately to reach the surface. I was only 5 years old.

posted November 17, 2011 10:14 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by malicefey:
my aunt picked me up and threw me into a pool. All I remembered was sinking and trying desparately to reach the surface. I was only 5 years old.

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posted November 18, 2011 12:22 PM            

quote:

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quote:Originally posted by amowls**:
I see. I don't do possessive. I find it very unattractive.

Curious, what are your aspects? Are you more of a carefree type? Some Sagittarius traits? (sorry, just really randomly guessing - still a no0b in astrology, but trying to learn)

AND NO, I'm not trying to offend saggies. Infact, my longest relationship was with a Sag please don't kill me.

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I don't find the word "carefree" insulting at all lol. Don't worry.

Sag is the strongest sign in my chart, but I'm an Aqua. A guy telling me what to do with my finances and my body is a definite DEAL BREAKER.

posted November 18, 2011 12:46 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by malicefey:
One thing that really got me upset is that he CAN do it...sometimes...but I'm starting to realize this.

He tells me "I don't want to control you, please do whatever you want"

I'm sometimes a party girl...and drink too much..and I have drunk stories, ya. And, his reaction was VERY controlled. The only thing he kept doing was telling me to becareful and to stay safe and not to drink to much (to the point where it's like hearing a mom nag).

So later that night, after going to drink with a couple of friends, I sent him a text letting him know that I'm okay and that I didn't drink too much. (Wtf submissive??)

And he goes and tells me:
"Oh, I'm not worried about you. You don't need to care about me when you're out. I'm not supposed to tie you down."

He used the word SUPPOSED to tie you down.

I'm like WTF?? I ignored his texts, he apologized and tried to get a hold of me to explain himself, called me twice, etc. Too bad I was already asleep...at 10pm :P

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posted November 18, 2011 01:22 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by anongrl10:
Yikes! Manipulation!!!!! I hate the beast.
If you are a straighforward gal, you won't be happy with this guy; trust me. He is who he is; he wants to be totally in control of you. And you are not having it (like me). Not the best match for you. I don't know the rest of the synastry (the chart above does not show for me) but I would suggest that you carefully think what you value. If you want a partner who will be straight up with you, no games, this is definitely not the guy. He's not necessarily a "bad" guy; just not a straightforward no-games no-manipulation kind of guy. You will always bump onto that.

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hey, u know, i don't think that in that case, it was really 'manipulation'... it sounds like saturn, to me.. they might've been somewhat manipulative or he's been accused of it in the past and in an attempt to correct their behavior they take that stance..

they're aware of something that may not be exactly the best for someone else (her drinking) and are trying to look out or care (in their own way) for the person but also have some apprehension as to whether they feel they should be doing so, are in a position to do so, care, or not.. so they overcompensate by stressing the 'freedom' in between the two as a self-reminder which really ends up pushing the other person away, almost instantly...

don't think that it's their intention but it's what ends up happening.

from his point of view, he's also trying to distance himself to not care because he might be seeing something that could affect him emotionally if they end up being together, so, he's transferred the focus off of her onto caring for himself because if it annoyed her, i'm pretty sure he might've picked up on it and he started to feel uneasy about it.

but the history comes into question just the same because if they're not 'trying to control you' -they've been there.. 'do whatever you want' doesn't mean that they'll be there to support them because they might've gotten themselves into some sh!t.

in other words, it's 'love' under terms & conditions what they're confessing but if they're able to get into the person's trust zone with just one event like him pointing out her drinking; getting them out of trouble or doing something nice for them out of his caring for her, then the things get clouded and muddled because they start to see the abuser as a sort of 'watcher', someone who's looking out for them, thus; enter the abused making excuses for the abuser from there on out and encouraging/allowing/condoning other things to happen because they sense that the other might genuinely care.

honor both the good & the bad, always!

it starts once the abused starts to realize small truth's in the other person's statements which leads them to start relying on them for honest, reflective feedback..

THAT'S very hard to spot out especially when they're the one's involved in it but it is definitely SUPER important to take notice of little small things; small things can really give way to understanding such a 'big picture'.

the person's not 'trying to control' might possibly even watch as the other approaches the ledge of a cliff and in an attempt to 'not control' them, watch as they just easily fall over the ledge as they not do anything about it...

some of the times, they may or may not even give a gentle push, btw.. it's easier to not get involved with people who actively engage; they're easier to maneuver that way and for some people, they become the perfect reflection of their own pain because they're so impressionable which leaves them with their hands clean as they did nothing but watch as the other person sabotaged themselves... is that just as bad?

know thyself!

there's a lot of each one in the other and the relationships dwindle once they both realize that.. but then, reality set's in and that's when the abused, becomes the abuser; great care must be taken from there on out for their sake as well as for the sake of the other..

but, alas, it takes some guts to fess up to one possibly wanting to be hurt or abused or inflected pain upon because it gets them off; society doesn't think in 'that' way and the shame of it causes one to push it to the back of their mind where it can do the most damage as 'someone else'..

it's a very in-depth subject but, i think it'd be best if i let some of u watch this and notice how something sooooo little (big kudos if you're able to piece it together) has such a MAJOR effect on the big picture: http://www.hulu.com/watch/276628/big-picture

don't play with fire unless you are, or have an absolute-sure relationship with the fire dept/man
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdaBUI75l4w

do u like it?

what do u get out of it?

is it really worth trying to find your 'power' in that particular way?

everyone at some level enjoys feeling for themselves; sympathy, sorry, 'wronged', allow yourself enough acceptance to admit if u do even want to or enjoy experiencing those.. some people have different interpretations of what it means to be 'happy' ..what's yours?

is it an attempt for you to identify your worth?

...all questions that i think are worht looking into and that are very relevant!

some people are just craving for somebody to take control and they project that out almost everywhere! it manifests when they've caught a fish on their hook!

do you think there are aspects of your life that are out of control?

are you aware of your blind spots?

if you find yourself in a situation like that, you might just be looking for someone to test you out so that you can see where you need to do some work and renovate. just be honest about it, though so that you don't waste yours or their time; no point in lying to anyone and especially, certainly, not to yourself!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nweIaTInj7Y

posted November 19, 2011 05:28 PM            

As for This situation, it isn't really the core of our relationship. Ya, sometimes there are times where I do things that would poke at him (example - if u had a gf like who is always drinking....and drinking too much for her own good) you'd probably be a bit like him too. In a sense I was being the person causing all the ruckus. You'd expect a 24 year old girl who seems responsible to know where her limits are. But she obviously is not, for whatever reason, and therefore, his comments.

I guess his main message is "why do you drink so much, I know u know better than that. It's ok to drink but you know your limit, yet u decide to go get sh*tfaced."
Scary how he knows that part about me, that he is sure that I'm not "that type of person" - I really am not. Those 2 weeks were the most I've been drinking all my life.

I joked with him, it was only a joke, he asked if I'll be going over to his place after work Friday night. I told him "ya, I am going to drinking with my friends..if I am not too drunk."

He immediately frowned and said "... If you are drunk please don't come."

That's saturn Kicking my @$$ for you guys!

posted November 19, 2011 06:51 PM            

You: Grow the Fck Up
Him: Shut the Fck Up

posted November 19, 2011 08:03 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
I'm going to speak like the Capricorn/Aries that I am.

You: Grow the Fck Up
Him: Shut the Fck Up

What a perfect couple! Beavis and Butthead. Dumb and Dumber.

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Hahaha very well said :Laughing: