|
Author
|
Topic: Asexual: Transit and Natal Aspects
|
Betty Boop
Knowflake Posts: 3377
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010
|
posted December 21, 2011 03:28 AM
  
Belligerent - you said on another thread that you were Neptunian as well. Maybe this is why you relate to it so much.
But I genuinely don't see this as a 'human' (everyone feels this way) kind of thing. IP: Logged |
amelia28
Knowflake Posts: 2549
From:
Registered: Aug 2011
|
posted December 21, 2011 03:29 AM
quote:
Originally posted by BelligerentPygmy:
Actually - reread the thread. That's pretty much what 'demisexuality' supposedly is in the first place - that you supposedly don't get hot in the pants unless you know the person well or have feelings for them - and I'm like, "That pretty much describes most of the human population". Sure, everybody thinks someone is physically attractive, but get them alone in a room with that person and if they don't know them well and don't have feelings for them, they aren't gonna sleep with them. If that's 'demisexuality', then sorry, most of the free world is 'demisexual'.
Your missing something. For example lets use me: I see a guy I feel chemistry and find them attractive, I become curious about getting to know them. If after I get to know them I like who they are inside and find myself caring about them then I want to get in his pants. Demisexuality sees someone and feels 0 attraction and after getting to know them and connecting with them start finding them cute and feeling attracted. Most people look at someone, find them attractive and then get to know them and then eventually have sex if all goes well. Most people think looks get you in the door and then people take it from there... With demisexuality based on the description of Betty looks do nothing and don't get anyone in the door for her. Most people decide to get to know someone bc they find them cute and interesting but I agree with you that most people get to know someone before sleeping with them. Peace. I respect your opinion.
IP: Logged |
Betty Boop
Knowflake Posts: 3377
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010
|
posted December 21, 2011 03:33 AM
amelia - thank you for understanding me! quote:
Demisexuality sees someone and feels 0 attraction and after getting to know them and connecting with them start finding them cute and feeling attracted.
That is absolutely the best explanation!
quote:
ith demisexuality based on the description of Betty looks do nothing and don't get anyone in the door for her.
Exactly! And it's not a moral thing. It's not that I find it superficial to look at someone's appearance. It's just a *lack* of desire. There is no thinking involved. IP: Logged |
BelligerentPygmy
Knowflake Posts: 1145
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
|
posted December 21, 2011 03:34 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Betty Boop:
Belligerent - you said on another thread that you were Neptunian as well. Maybe this is why you relate to it so much.
But I genuinely don't see this as a 'human' (everyone feels this way) kind of thing.
It's definitely a pretty universal thing. As much as most people go on and on about how hot they think someone is, that doesn't mean they'd actually s.crew them upon first meeting.
IP: Logged |
amelia28
Knowflake Posts: 2549
From:
Registered: Aug 2011
|
posted December 21, 2011 03:35 AM
I also agree with Betty that a lot of people are comfortable with one night stands and the 3 date rule and what not, I personally dont wait too long but I do get to know them first. Is that with me I only pay attention to guys that feel really fated and the connection feels immediate so it doesn't take too long for me to know if I want to pursue it further or drop it right away. I follow my instincts and they are usually right.Betty don't feel left out about this as I think this makes you unique and interesting and I genuinely think is super cool that you are like this. IP: Logged |
amelia28
Knowflake Posts: 2549
From:
Registered: Aug 2011
|
posted December 21, 2011 03:38 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Betty Boop:
amelia - thank you for understanding me!
My pleasure!
IP: Logged |
MyVirgoMask
Knowflake Posts: 3671
From: Bay Area, CA
Registered: May 2009
|
posted December 21, 2011 03:42 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Betty Boop:
Also - coffee - you cannot be asexual by choice or not by choice.
That is *celibacy* ^ They are different things.
Yes, I started writing about the differences between asexual versus celibate and even platonic and didn't feel like getting into it, but YES, the point of celibacy is very true, thanks for bringing this up  IP: Logged |
BelligerentPygmy
Knowflake Posts: 1145
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
|
posted December 21, 2011 03:46 AM
quote:
Originally posted by amelia28:
Your missing something. For example lets use me:I see a guy I feel chemistry and find them attractive, I become curious about getting to know them. If after I get to know them I like who they are inside and find myself caring about them then I want to get in his pants. Demisexuality sees someone and feels 0 attraction and after getting to know them and connecting with them start finding them cute and feeling attracted. Most people look at someone, find them attractive and then get to know them and then eventually have sex if all goes well. Most people think looks get you in the door and then people take it from there... With demisexuality based on the description of Betty looks do nothing and don't get anyone in the door for her. Most people decide to get to know someone bc they find them cute and interesting but I agree with you that most people get to know someone before sleeping with them. Peace. I respect your opinion.
I'm not sure what you're supplying me with definitions for? My reading comprehension is fine and at this point you're pretty much trying to 'debate' me when we're saying the exact same thing. I know what 'demisexuality' supposedly is. And I already went into the specifics of that. And sure, doctors may want to give it a name and insist it's weird so they can turn around and prescribe s.hit for it; and people who go by the label are probably eager to adopt it and see themselves as different because everybody wants to be 'special' and 'unique'. But like I said - you pretty much won't find anyone who will actually s.crew someone they just met, that they don't love. Sure, they may think they're cute but in terms of feeling actual, real, genuine sexual attraction to a person, to the point where you actually genuinely want to sleep with them and would do so - for most people it takes actually knowing the person first and having some sort of feelings for them.
Disagree or no, I don't care but don't try to 'discredit' me by implying I don't know what the term means, giving condescending 'examples' and 'definitions' and then putting words in my mouth that I never said. I said what I mean and it's clearly stated for anyone who has basic reading comprehension and if you want to argue about it you'll have to find someone else that's actually dumb enough to humor you. IP: Logged |
BelligerentPygmy
Knowflake Posts: 1145
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
|
posted December 21, 2011 03:47 AM
quote:
Originally posted by amelia28:
I also agree with Betty that a lot of people are comfortable with one night stands and the 3 date rule and what not,
Only if you're dumb enough to actually buy the c.rap the mainstream media feeds you and you actually believe that everyone lives like the chicks on "Sex and the City". Which is exactly what they want you to think. IP: Logged |
RegardesPlatero
Knowflake Posts: 4367
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
|
posted December 21, 2011 03:48 AM
-IP: Logged |
amelia28
Knowflake Posts: 2549
From:
Registered: Aug 2011
|
posted December 21, 2011 04:57 AM
quote:
Originally posted by BelligerentPygmy:
I'm not sure what you're supplying me with definitions for? My reading comprehension is fine and at this point you're pretty much trying to 'debate' me when we're saying the exact same thing. I know what 'demisexuality' supposedly is. And I already went into the specifics of that. And sure, doctors may want to give it a name and insist it's weird so they can turn around and prescribe s.hit for it; and people who go by the label are probably eager to adopt it and see themselves as different because everybody wants to be 'special' and 'unique'. But like I said - you pretty much won't find anyone who will actually s.crew someone they just met, that they don't love. Sure, they may think they're cute but in terms of feeling actual, real, genuine sexual attraction to a person, to the point where you actually genuinely want to sleep with them and would do so - for most people it takes actually knowing the person first and having some sort of feelings for them. Disagree or no, I don't care but don't try to 'discredit' me by implying I don't know what the term means, giving condescending 'examples' and 'definitions' and then putting words in my mouth that I never said. I said what I mean and it's clearly stated for anyone who has basic reading comprehension and if you want to argue about it you'll have to find someone else that's actually dumb enough to humor you.
I wasn't trying to discredit you. I was merely having a discussion with you and honestly did feel that you were missing an important detail and was trying to discuss it like two adults. As for one night stands or the 3 date rule been the norm. I agree that is not the norm statistically speaking but it is common, it happens frequently although most people wait. I was never rude to you and I will not be rude to you even though you were just rude to me and I have noticed you have been rude to other people in this forum. IP: Logged |
Lonake
Knowflake Posts: 9347
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted December 21, 2011 04:59 AM
quote:
Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
My chart ruler is Jupiter. My 1st house planets are Saturn and Uranus. Jupiter is trine my 8th house moon in Cancer. Mars (rules sex) is in Capricorn, 2nd house, along with Neptune.
What about your H8 ruler, what is it doing in the chart? I find that ruler pretty relevant to sex matters.
Also does your Moon H8 incline to find it difficult to have emotional intimacy w.others? It may be helped out by the trine to Jupiter, but still am curious.IP: Logged |
Betty Boop
Knowflake Posts: 3377
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010
|
posted December 21, 2011 05:10 AM
Belligerent - I'm curious about two things..1. Why do you have this opinion that everyone wants to be 'special'? Ever since your first post I got the feeling you are trying to say "hang on a sec.. you're not so special!" - when I could give a rats about being special.
Most people would either see this as weird or non-existent.. definitely not special. It's not something to show-off with. It's not like saying "I have psychic powers" OR "My grandfather put my name in his will for a small island he owns in the Caribbean". I've mentioned this once before on LL this year only (& I've been here for 7/8 yrs). I don't even mention it in RL at all - because there is no point. I would simply get misunderstood.
I believe in sexual *freedom* - and I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea about me or think I am puritan about sex or religious about sex.
That is usually the idea they get if you try to explain something like this. I do agree with you about medication being prescribed for everything these days. I don't like this practice either and I'm not on any meds myself. I really don't think someone's sexual 'orientation' or habit or whatever you want to call it - would be something that requires medication. 2. Do you honestly think everyone is lying about casual sex?
I mean I can look up statistics on this.. Stats are anonymous and it's unlikely that people would lie.
I will post some stats when I get the chance. IP: Logged |
Betty Boop
Knowflake Posts: 3377
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010
|
posted December 21, 2011 05:16 AM
Amelia - Thanks for saying that! Sometimes I also thought that maybe everyone is exactly the same (but somehow it doesn't *feel* like that)... As you were saying before - it seems like most people are *attracted* to looks first.. that's what draws them in - and then the other parts of the relationship develop. IP: Logged |
Chironrising
Knowflake Posts: 590
From: Chicago, IL, USA
Registered: Dec 2011
|
posted December 21, 2011 05:24 AM
Asexual can still have a sexual drive...I believe...I see it as a stage...maybe life long at this point....it's from emotional scarring and pain that has nothing to do with sex but more to do with the trauma of being in a relationship as well as a personality type which I don't care to reveal and another type of personality that is sensitive to touch, light, and sound....this doesn't mean I don't have a sexual drive...it just means that I do not wish to have sex. No I am not celibate....sometimes I imagine the Goddess and Gods are with me...that being said....I am asexual meaing that I am not attracted to a living human being...of any sex....I can be sexual alone with myself...but with someone else in the room I can't...with no one...it's not celibacy, I Want to be attracted to people, but I can't...I can only be attracted to made up people in my mind....this goes for other things too like people on telivision...etc...pluto in the fifth.. IP: Logged |
Betty Boop
Knowflake Posts: 3377
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010
|
posted December 21, 2011 05:29 AM
hmmm I have Pluto in the 5th as well.IP: Logged |
Chironrising
Knowflake Posts: 590
From: Chicago, IL, USA
Registered: Dec 2011
|
posted December 21, 2011 05:30 AM
I believe it happened after I opened the doors to perception and I became very critical of myself...and it's very hard for me not to be critical...or anxious, so when I get there...I can't even think of people or others or anything like a relationship...it also has to do with the fact that for me...there was never any such thing as free love...so I refuse to pay for it...emotionally that is, or any way, actually it isn't that i refuse...it's just that my libido vanishes after I have to do something conditional for it....and it's been taht way now to the point where my libido is gone unless I summon it with a goddess or god image...or both...I simply am totally dry. I've had to learn to feign sexual expression in order to appear normal...and I do desire to be with someone...however, when I am with someone I can only be aroused by extreme amount of imagination and focused energy...and even if I know the person for a year...it's very hard...even harder actually, because I've probed their mind...some of it has to do with the fact that I know what I have to do to get it too...and then I Don't want it because what I have to do makes me feel like a robot...ironically,...I don't sweat it...I continue to sacrifice my life minute by minute for what I can do to help society, although I am frequently on the edge of insanity because I am so sensitive to the outside world...It's not an emotional sensitive...it's like a biological reaction...like when you watch horror and puke instantly...that is what happens to me when I see a commercial of starving children...I start gagging, and I start feeling sick...and then I become extremely depressed...and dysfunctional....It may be that I would need to be with someone who knew this, but then when people find out seldom are they sexually attracted...i've tried to convince people that my sensitive is sexy, but then again I am barely able to be sexual myself so I don't know what to say. I feel the key for me to heal again and be sexual instead of asexual is to find someone who is willing to be friends with me and not sleep with anyone else, including me for, for 2-5 years...if I can find that then I can heal psychologically, and become attracted again to human beings....I'm not attracted to animals...only gods and goddesses.IP: Logged |
Chironrising
Knowflake Posts: 590
From: Chicago, IL, USA
Registered: Dec 2011
|
posted December 21, 2011 05:32 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Betty Boop:
hmmm I have Pluto in the 5th as well.
Amazing Betty, the astrology always seems to validate itself, doesn't...was there a time in your life when you were intensely involved with person, before that you always imagined someone being that other, but then after that relationship something happened where the dream function of the other just pfffed out? I feel like there was an energy that is missing now...or that I've evolved...I can't tell.. IP: Logged |
Chironrising
Knowflake Posts: 590
From: Chicago, IL, USA
Registered: Dec 2011
|
posted December 21, 2011 05:42 AM
Some of it has to do with realizing that there is life after death too. It's hard for me to say anything to a person. I just am. When I'm with people...I often just want to make noises...or walk around and do what I want...but I can feel the social laws restricting me....for example, I want to get up sometimes and start doing some yoga because of tensions in my body...or walk in a circle, or raise my arms up and let the blood flow down to my shoulder joints. I went on a date to see if I could be my old self...and the entire time I kept talking about stuff that made the person say, "That's really deep." with a sour face. So I had to just say we are going to be friends...I can't take the fact that what I say is deep...or rather, the part of me which I can't control...the higher self...is removing my sexual drive unless someone can think about the afterlife all day with me...then I can be attracted...it's strange I know..these conditions may or may not be real...simply put...they are intuitions which I think may help me once again connect...I seem to be frozen...in some sort of relational stasis...I seem to be operating from a mode of transpesonality rather than catering to my emotions...and this is why I spend endless hours in the arts...because I simply connect witht eh maker...and it makes love to me he/she it...and I am satisfied...but one day I will feel guilt for not passing forth my blood line....so that is lingering in me too...perhaps I will have enough money to make an arrangement witha woman to bare my child...and will chose her based on her mothering ability...who knows...I know consumerism has siphoned alot of this from me...It's very hard for me to find my libido when valentine chocolates cost almost three hours of work for me...perhaps I will sing a new tune when the energy I receieve from the universe is greater...I don't know....I don't like to think unless it's positive so I only count my blessings and dwell on teh beauty of air breathing, and sound love from great music....I hope this didn't destroy your eyes, but I had to get this out when I read this thread...I'm sure it was posted in response to a post that I made before in another...but asexuality is caused by pluto.IP: Logged |
Coffee
Knowflake Posts: 2242
From: Leeds
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted December 21, 2011 06:11 AM
Actually, I think asexuality can be described the same way as virginity is described.House 7. The house before the house of sex as the person is stuck in that stage (house) before sex. So maybe house rulers 7 and 8....instead of 1 and 8. Maybe 1 and 8 will tell you about the 'quality' of them sexual encounters. Can you see the logic in that? IP: Logged |
amelia28
Knowflake Posts: 2549
From:
Registered: Aug 2011
|
posted December 21, 2011 06:23 AM
Chiron and Betty, the person for why I started this thread also has pluto in the 5th. Who would have thought pluto in 5th...this person use to have a huge collection of porn so he is sexual but perhaps is afraid of getting hurt so avoids sex that is intense and tries to keep it physical its my sense with him. I think in his case is a way to avoid getting too close, to avoid intensity and too much intimacy. His 8th house ruler is saturn and his 1st house ruler is gemini and t saturn is currently conjunct his mercury and inconjunct mars so this is inhibiting him as well. In addition my mars conjuncts his mercury synastry wise. When we do it he really enjoys it and is good but he isn't motivated by it I have to bring it up. He doesnt have the urge but put on some porn and things change....is like he feels more comfortable this way and I think it has to do with fear of getting hurt and fear to intimacy and intensity...fear of been transformed by another through sex. On top of it he is very cerebral. Thanks Chiron and Betty for input ... His pluto in the 5th sextiles venus, semi sextiles uranus and sextiles neptune. IP: Logged |
amelia28
Knowflake Posts: 2549
From:
Registered: Aug 2011
|
posted December 21, 2011 06:27 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Coffee:
Actually, I think asexuality can be described the same way as virginity is described.House 7. The house before the house of sex as the person is stuck in that stage (house) before sex. So maybe house rulers 7 and 8....instead of 1 and 8. Maybe 1 and 8 will tell you about the 'quality' of them sexual encounters. Can you see the logic in that?
I could see how specifically the person why I started this thread could be stuck in the 7th as he is great when it comes to been in relationship and feels comfortable staying in this dynamic. It must be fear of 8th house stuff with him....he is terrified of death.. Your analysis makes sense in the case of this person yes.......thanks for sharing. Edit:
He does also have an aspect between his 7th ruler and 8th ruler: a conjunction. IP: Logged |
anongrl10
Knowflake Posts: 4557
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
|
posted December 21, 2011 06:58 AM
quote:
Originally posted by amelia28:
I could see how specifically the person why I started this thread could be stuck in the 7th as he is great when it comes to been in relationship and feels comfortable staying in this dynamic. It must be fear of 8th house stuff with him....he is terrified of death..Your analysis makes sense in the case of this person yes.......thanks for sharing. Edit:
He does also have an aspect between his 7th ruler and 8th ruler: a conjunction.
I have a 7th and 8th ruler conj and I am anything but asexual.
Coffee, I also have Uranus as 1st house ruler and my 8th is in the Virgo cusp (although with Libra intercepted).
I think it takes more than one aspect to indicate something so peculiar as someone's asexuality.
Fascinating discussion btw; thanks for bringing it up, Amelia.
I agree that celibacy has nothing to do with it.
I also agree that most people will sleep with ppl they find attractive (or just because they are horny) before they get to know someone really well (or at all). Getting to know someone takes time and an active interest and a willingness from both sides to be 100% open, so it's not really THAT easy unless we're talking about superficial getting to know (their name, work, friends, family, vs. their thoughts, desires, goals, aspirations, motivations, personality traits, character traits etc.). Very few people wait to sleep until they really know someone. Sexual urges get in the way when you are sexually attracted to someone and most people will give in to those before they truly know the other.
IP: Logged |
amelia28
Knowflake Posts: 2549
From:
Registered: Aug 2011
|
posted December 21, 2011 07:21 AM
Anon thanks for your input and I am glad you like the thread Regardes....I respect your decision to be single and be celibate and don't judge you at all. Everyone is different and if you are happy then I am not concern. I get concern with people who are not happy bc I want people to be happy. I agree that you deserve respect for your decisions just as much as people with high sex drives deserve respect for their decisions to explore their sexuality how they see fit between two consulting adults. IP: Logged |
Doux Rêve
Moderator Posts: 7601
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
|
posted December 21, 2011 09:17 AM
I used to think that I was asexual but I'm pretty sure in my case it's not just a "disinterest" in sex but an actual aversion to it. So there's probably a real issue going on for me.
I don't know. I think part of it is that I was brainwashed in my childhood into thinking that sex is bad, dirty, etc. and that I must avoid it at all costs. There were other elements that reinforced this belief of mine, and now that I've grown up it's actually difficult to get rid of this negative vision. Rationally I understand that sex is natural, and that there's nothing wrong with it, but I still can't accept the thought of ever doing it. I probably sound like a weirdo but that's how I am, for now.
I don't know if I'll ever be able to work on this "issue", and I'm not even sure I want to.
But anyway, what would be the difference between someone who is genuinely not interested in sex and someone who has problems with it, and therefore represses their own sexuality, in the natal charts?
Because honestly I don't find myself interested in sex or attracted to anyone sexually but that's probably because I repress it? Or is it genuine disinterest? I'm getting confused about myself..
IP: Logged |
Lindaland
UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! 
