posted December 21, 2011 01:05 AM            

I read that people who are asexual if in a relationship would have sex with their partners to please them. For the purpose of this thread I am referring to asexuality as lack of interest in sex more than any other meaning attached to this label.

I wonder if someone can be interested in sex but then lose interest for a while bec of a transit or transits. I hypothesize that sometimes asexuality could be a stage, hence I am curious also as to what transits can cause this asexuality for a period in your life but not your whole life.

posted December 21, 2011 01:54 AM            

IN general I can say that Neptune is in the 7th for me and is the ruler or my 12th and I have always been highly sexed but I go through times in relationship where I am very untouchable and want to be on my own. I doesn't last long, and my fiance has the same placements so it seems to work out ok as long as we communicate about it.

Also SOMETIMES I think Saturn transits in hard aspects to like Mars or Venus can put a strain on sexual expression. When Saturn was squaring my Mars/Venus opposition, I really was not having any sex at all....I hated the thought of it. I had sexual dreams a lot but didn't want to have sex. Weird.

posted December 21, 2011 01:54 AM            

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Whoever thought doing a thing like p1ss1ng inside someone was a higher stage expression of love.[/B]

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posted December 21, 2011 02:09 AM            

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Originally posted by VenusDiSirius:
t Saturn sq nVenus (H8 and H1 ruler) in my case. In general,very sober,ahedonistic period.

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So Taurus is in the first house and cap in your 8th right?

Please reassure me I am understand bc is only lately that I am starting to get into rulerships and finally starting to understand this approach to astrology a little bit better.

Basically you and Coffee are saying a sign of asexuality can be seen by checking the aspects between the ruler of your first house and your 8th house.

Hence if somebody has gemini in the first and cap in the 8th, a stressful aspect between saturn to mercury natally, in transit or from natal to transit will possibly result in someone asexual? transit will probably means that this will last for as long as the transit lasts and natal means it will probably be an ongoing thing for him or her in this lifetime. Am I gettg the hang of it?

So for this example if his transit saturn conjuncts his natal mercury it could result in disinterest in sex for the during of the transit and would be further reinforced if who is involve with has saturn conjunct his mercury in synastry right?

posted December 21, 2011 02:16 AM            

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Originally posted by MyVirgoMask:
I dunno, I think some of this can be attributed to Neptune. I don't think Neptune is like an asexual planet at all, but it is very idealistic and sometimes it can feel like the ideal is more preferable to the real....so I do see a lot of very heavily Neptunian influence (often in hard aspects to personal planets) going through a squeamish time in regards to sex, asking things like, Why is sex so important? It's so BASE and YUCKY, etc. Even going through situations where it''s like impossible to have sex because the situation is just not one where you will have the two people engaged in having any lol

IN general I can say that Neptune is in the 7th for me and is the ruler or my 12th and I have always been highly sexed but I go through times in relationship where I am very untouchable and want to be on my own. I doesn't last long, and my fiance has the same placements so it seems to work out ok as long as we communicate about it.

Also SOMETIMES I think Saturn transits in hard aspects to like Mars or Venus can put a strain on sexual expression. When Saturn was squaring my Mars/Venus opposition, I really was not having any sex at all....I hated the thought of it. I had sexual dreams a lot but didn't want to have sex. Weird.

Very confusing time.

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I have a lot neptune and I love sex but I could see how perhaps depending on rest of chart this could result in someone who is not interested in sex. Like my venus and mars conjunct and sextile pluto and trine venus. Perhaps if my venus and mars did not conjunct and my mars aspected neptune and did not aspect pluto I wouldn't be all that interested in sex. Interesting.

As for your comment of t. saturn aspecting harshly mars and or venus repressing sexual expression, that makes a lot of sense. will look into it. Thanks for your feedback .

posted December 21, 2011 02:18 AM            

They are different things.

posted December 21, 2011 02:20 AM            

Basically - as far as I understand asexuality is a *lack* of sexual desire.. It does not necessarily mean you find sex disgusting or that you have issues with it at all.
You might think it's a beautiful thing but have no desire to actually do it.
And as amelia posted above - they may still have sex with their partner when their partner wants to - because it does not *bother* them to do it (even though they would not go there from their own initiative because of the lack of desire).

posted December 21, 2011 02:34 AM            

What applies to me most is Demi-Sexuality - NOT asexuality..
I definitely relate this to my Mars/Neptune conjunction.

Here is the definition of it on wiki: http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Demisexual

I can relate to this so much - it's crazy. I was so happy when I found it because I felt like there is actually a word out there that explains how I feel.

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In general, demisexuals are not sexually attracted to anyone of any gender; however, when a demisexual is emotionally connected to (usually in love with but sometimes feel strongly as friends) someone else, the demisexual experiences sexual attraction and desire, but only towards the specific partner or partners.

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I have said this before on LL ^ - even the "feels strongly as friends" part.. so this definition genuinely fits me like a glove.

I think this part is important in particular:

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When describing demisexuality as an orientation to sexuals, sexuals often mistake it as an admirable choice rather than an innate orientation. Demisexuals are not choosing to abstain; they simply lack sexual attraction until a close relationship is formed.

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It's SO true.. So many times if you tell someone you do not have sex unless there is a relationship between you and the other person -- they take this to mean that you are religious or that you think doing otherwise is amoral.

For me - I actually experience no sexual impulse to have sex unless I know the person really well (in depth).
I could see the most handsome guy in the world and I would feel nothing - unless I knew him.
It's not an intellectual decision. It's deeper than that.

This explains it perfectly:

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a person who identifies as a demisexual does not experience primary sexual attraction but does experience secondary sexual attraction. In this model, primary sexual attraction is based on outward qualities such as a person's looks, clothes, or personality while secondary sexual attraction is attraction stemming from a connection, usually romantic, or from status or how closely the person is in relationship to the other.

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posted December 21, 2011 02:39 AM            

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Betty how you are describing it is exactly what I am talking about. You might like sex even but the desire to initiate it is just not there at all.

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Demisexuality is almost the same.. with the difference that - you can and do initiate once a relationship is formed.
It doesn't even have to be romantic. You just need to have a close connection with the other person and actually know them well - before you can feel anything sexual towards them.

posted December 21, 2011 02:57 AM            

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Does that mean I'm asexual?

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hmmm It might! But I'm not sure whether you can end up switching to asexuality.

It's probably just as debatable as homosexuality.. When someone goes from being straight to being gay.. Some might say he/she was gay all along... On the other hand - there may have been a change in their orientation - if you take sexual orientation to be psychological rather than biological.

posted December 21, 2011 03:00 AM            

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Originally posted by amelia28:
So Taurus is in the first house and cap in your 8th right?

Please reassure me I am understand bc is only lately that I am starting to get into rulerships and finally starting to understand this approach to astrology a little bit better.

Basically you and Coffee are saying a sign of asexuality can be seen by checking the aspects between the ruler of your first house and your 8th house.

Hence if somebody has gemini in the first and cap in the 8th, a stressful aspect between saturn to mercury natally, in transit or from natal to transit will possibly result in someone asexual? transit will probably means that this will last for as long as the transit lasts and natal means it will probably be an ongoing thing for him or her in this lifetime. Am I gettg the hang of it?

So for this example if his transit saturn conjuncts his natal mercury it could result in disinterest in sex for the during of the transit and would be further reinforced if who is involve with has saturn conjunct his mercury in synastry right?

Thanks for your help.

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posted December 21, 2011 03:05 AM            

Honestly I believe it's one of those things that doesn't exist at all and that there's usually some other explanation and people get confused and misinterpret that as being asexual. Whether it's feeling uncomfortable with your body or having experienced some kind of past trauma, or repressing it because your religious or spiritual beliefs hold that s.ex is something lewd and vulgar so you push all desire into some dark corner of your brain and insist you don't feel any desire because you think it's either a 'sin' or a sign of being 'unenlightened'. I know this is an opinion that is controversial and that some people find highly offensive, but that's my honest take on it. I also think that sometimes people confuse not being obsessed with sex, for being 'asexual' as well.

posted December 21, 2011 03:10 AM            

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not wanting to be a s.lut

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Well no because.. I have nothing against that at all.
I could LIE and tell everyone publicly: "I am a sl.ut "... It doesn't mean anything to me.

I don't care what anyone thinks about that ^

In fact a few times in my life I actually did lie and I told a guy I sleep around just to see his reaction and to see whether he is open minded about sex or not.

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I can't really get enthusiastic about the idea of doing something like that with someone I don't know, who I don't love that doesn't love me; and believe it or not, that's a pretty common mindset and not really unique. If you ask most people they'd tell you the same thing.

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I'm the same! (about the not 'excited' part)

I would like it if more people would be this way - because sometimes I feel like I don't completely 'fit in' because of it. I'm just not sure that others feel the same way...

Many men seem to say they are sexually attracted purely based on looks.. I also know some women who say they would not have sex outside a relationship purely for moral reasons.. and not because they feel no desire to go there.

Many of my female friends (I'm 25)... talk about actors like say Jude Law - cute guys in magazines etc etc... and I go along with it often..
But the truth is they are like statues to me. I could have Jude Law standing in front of me naked - and downstairs I would feel nothing at all. I might say - wow you'd make such a beautiful statue! But I wouldn't feel a desire to go there.
I see so many young girls who are genuinely sexually interested in guys they don't know well - who have sex after maybe 3 dates. It's cool in my book - No moral issues with it! But I would like to know what it feels like to actually *want* this.. because I genuinely don't feel it.. and I didn't feel it when I was in my teens either (that's meant to be a sexual peek).

posted December 21, 2011 03:10 AM            

One thing is to find someone hot and chose not to have sex with them until you get to know them well bc otherwise you won't enjoy it as much bc you need that connection and another thing is to feel 0 attraction for someone until you get to know them well and a connection is form (demisexuality).

posted December 21, 2011 03:19 AM            

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Originally posted by Betty Boop:
Well no because.. I have nothing against that at all.
I could LIE and tell everyone publicly: "I am a sl.ut "... It doesn't mean anything to me.

I don't care what anyone thinks about that ^

In fact a few times in my life I actually did lie and I told a guy I sleep around just to see his reaction and to see whether he is open minded about sex or not.

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Yep.

That's not what I meant.

posted December 21, 2011 03:21 AM            

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another thing is to feel 0 attraction for someone until you get to know them well and a connection is form

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posted December 21, 2011 03:21 AM            

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Originally posted by amelia28:
Belligerent,

One thing is to find someone hot and chose not to have sex with them until you get to know them well bc otherwise you won't enjoy it as much bc you need that connection and another thing is to feel 0 attraction for someone until you get to know them well and a connection is form (demisexuality).

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Actually - reread the thread. That's pretty much what 'demisexuality' supposedly is in the first place - that you supposedly don't get hot in the pants unless you know the person well or have feelings for them - and I'm like, "That pretty much describes most of the human population". Sure, everybody thinks someone is physically attractive, but get them alone in a room with that person and if they don't know them well and don't have feelings for them, they aren't gonna sleep with them.

posted December 21, 2011 03:25 AM            

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unless you know the person well or have feelings for them - and I'm like, "That pretty much describes most of the human population

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