posted December 22, 2011 03:15 AM            

Here it goes............

1. I’m physically healthy – I don’t ‘lack’ anything lol

2. There has never been a situation in my life…where a guy asked me out and I said “yes”.. and then told him: “Gee - Can we wait until we get to know each other better – before we have sex?” - I’ve never had this conversation with a man in my life - Nor will I ever have this conversation.

3. Basically I don’t do the dating thing. My relationship have started out as friendships and we met in a setting where I got to know the guy well before things turned romantic between us. I didn’t have to explain myself to him at all. It just seemed normal in that context whether it was at school or university or through work or through a sport I played… It seemed normal that we’d hang out first as friends (rather than date).

4. If a stranger tries to initiate something with me by asking me to go on a date with him (if this is how he approaches me) – I usually decline right away. I don’t even consider it, because a person who immediately turns things romantic couldn’t understand me.. and I don’t want to have to explain things over and over. If I dated someone like this – I know they’d expect sex sooner rather than later.. and I don’t want my sexuality to turn into someone else’s challenge.

5. The lack of desire (“primary” desire as they refer to it in that article) does not at all affect my level of being sexually passionate with a person, when we do have a strong emotional connection.

The only man I’ve had a desire to have sex with in the past years is the Leo guy I’ve mentioned a few times here - because I am in love with him. I can be very sexually passionate towards him.. I know my sexuality well and my turn-ons and turn-offs… I’m not inhibited sexually. It’s just that it very rarely happens that I would meet and get to know someone whom I actually desire to have sex with. It’s only happened twice in my life. Leo is the second. My Libra ex I mentioned - who I went out with for 2 years (I cared about him, but I only had sex to make him happy.. not because I had a desire to).

6. My lack of attraction has no connection with the amount of people I meet. I go out. I meet many new people!! I just don’t feel this way. It takes me such a long time to feel this way about someone.

7. I am not at all repulsed nor scared of sex. I am simply disinterested.. Exactly as per the demi-sexuality definition: “The demisexual experiences sexual attraction and desire, but only towards the specific partner or partners."
That’s me ^

I remember Regardes saying she had fears regarding sex and how it might affect her health. I don’t have these fears – because you can get sick in so many different ways. You can have accidents in many settings. Sex is no more dangerous than anything else. We are not living in 3rd world countries. We do have the pill available and condoms… so this isn’t an issue for me.

Nor do I have any psychological hang-ups about sex. Lets say I absolutely ‘had to’ sleep with a stranger… Lets say the faith of the world depended on it (just for argument’s sake!).. This wouldn’t psychologically scar me (unless he was a jerk!! lol)… I would just feel very disinterested and not turned-on – but the thought of it doesn’t bother me.

It’s a bit like the feeling when you’ve had a meal and you are full… so you wouldn’t go out and buy something else to eat.. But if a friend bought you a chocolate cake – you might still eat it, so as to not be rude! (lol I realize this is a dumb analogy but I can’t think of any other way to explain it)
It’s that feeling of “I don’t feel like eating this at all… but it won’t kill me to have some – if I absolutely must”.

8. I think maybe the whole asexuality or demi-sexuality orientations (if they are orientations) might be seen as something that makes a person ‘cold’ and detached.
I’m not a cold person. This is only a sexual disinterest. I have so much respect for other people and I really like everyone as they are. I’m kind of Aquarian when it comes to this (My Sun&Venus are in the 11th).

Also, this is not at all an ego trip for me. I’ve heard people say things like: “Oh I don’t care if she’s good looking… I still wouldn’t go there!” to sound cool… or “Looks aren’t everything!”… or there are those who heed dating advice about how you should lower a good looking person’s self-esteem… so that they get more interested.

I personally think all of this is a load of CRAP. I think everyone deserves to be treated nicely and with respect completely regardless of their appearance.
For instance – when I said earlier that I would see Jude Law as a beautiful statue… I don’t mean for this to be depreciative to Jude Law. He’s a person with his own good points & bad points. I think he has awesome acting skills and I’m sure there are many things about him I could like personality wise if I ever met him. But on a purely sexual level.. it’s just not there (unless I’m very close to that person).

Ok! phewww That's it. End of long spiel.

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posted December 22, 2011 03:22 AM            

What is your thoughts on a person's sexuality whose ruler of the 8th is saturn and semisextiles his ruler of the 5th and 1st which is mercury?

The person with this aspect in order to bond with someone sexually needs to have respect for them intellectually and is the type of have a tight control over his sexual urges. I would also say this person is so cerebral that sex is not something he needs. He enjoys it but doesn't have the urge for it bc he doesn't NEED it.

Would you say this describes this aspect well?

posted December 22, 2011 03:24 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Chironrising:
saturn in scorpio too - fear of release...fear of sex...or fear of not having sex...leading to enlightenment and transcending of sexual funciton...although you can still be in a relationship to transcend sex...most people become asexual...use it or lose it.....but it comes back too if they will to procreate..

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posted December 22, 2011 03:47 AM            

However since I am not demisexual I do need to find someone cute to feel interested romantically in them but if their mind and heart is not awesome then I lose interest.

posted December 22, 2011 03:56 AM            

quote:

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I like people, but I don't matter to a lot of them.

[/B]

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Regardes

You are very sweet I can tell. It saddens me to hear that your interactions with other result in you feeling invisible. I believe you though that this is true and actually happening to you and is not just you imaging it but FEEL that you are creating with your thoughts a self fulfilling prophecy perhaps.

I also feel that perhaps you are trying to impress people who don't deserve it but bc of low self worth you keep trying to impress these people instead of moving on to other people. Also a theory.

There is this floweressences called The braidsmaid super flower essence that I feel will help you tremendously with this issue. Here is the link for it:
http://www.nmessences.com/super/the_bridesmaid.html

Read the description. Ami also likes flower essences so feel free to ask either of us about this.

posted December 22, 2011 08:19 PM            

I wouldn't say I am full blown asexual or anything. Yes my past partner I wanted to please. But near the end I did not give a damn. If he wanted to go again I would say "I allready got what I wanted." That's when we where not in a relationship but still seeing eachother.

Plus when I am going solo I think of other men. Whether I know them in real life or not. I'd say 9 out of 10 times I am thinking about someone.

I am person that needs sex and can't go forever with out it...and I don't want to go out seeking/using someone just for that. Not safe, and could lead to drama.

posted November 07, 2013 04:26 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by amelia28:
Supposedly there is only 1% of the people in the world who are asexual. I am thinking this statistic is probably not accurate as I am sure a lot of people who are asexual don't go around reporting that they are or are even aware there is label to describe their disinterest in sex.

I read that people who are asexual if in a relationship would have sex with their partners to please them. For the purpose of this thread I am referring to asexuality as lack of interest in sex more than any other meaning attached to this label.

I wonder if someone can be interested in sex but then lose interest for a while bec of a transit or transits. I hypothesize that sometimes asexuality could be a stage, hence I am curious also as to what transits can cause this asexuality for a period in your life but not your whole life.

Regardless is an interesting topic so feel free to discuss and say what is on your mind.

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Yes, Me!
At least I think I am.

I'm Heteroromantic to be exact.
(form of asexuality)

Saturn in the 8th House
Pisces 8th House

posted February 19, 2014 12:06 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Betty Boop:
I feel like some people get very confused about this topic.

Basically - as far as I understand asexuality is a *lack* of sexual desire.. It does not necessarily mean you find sex disgusting or that you have issues with it at all.
You might think it's a beautiful thing but have no desire to actually do it.
And as amelia posted above - they may still have sex with their partner when their partner wants to - because it does not *bother* them to do it (even though they would not go there from their own initiative because of the lack of desire).

Some people do have a desire - a physical urge to have sex.. and they do not do it for whatever reason.. because they would prefer to be celibate or they have moral problems with it or they find it disgusting or whatever.
BUT asexuals have NO physical urge. It's just not there.

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I'm sun/mercury/venus in libra in 5th house. mars scorpio in 6th. uranus/neptune in 8th capricorn. moon sagittarius square saturn in pisces in the 10th.

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" Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it is called the present."
-Joan Rivers

posted February 20, 2014 09:59 AM            

In the case of some on the schizophrenic spectrum, usually pure SPD, there can be a lack of any sexual desire or for companionship from the beginning.

Whereas anorexia stems from sex-negativity, trauma, and being conditioned against engaging in sex.