posted January 14, 2012 03:07 AM            

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Originally posted by mintgirl123:
Geminis have more a tendency (out of alot of other signs) to say things they don't mean, or say things they MIGHT partially mean AT THE TIME.
BUT.
Their emotions and thoughts are VERY changeable and they might change their mind immediately lol and want sth else. This is especially accentuated seeing she has a pisces moon (two mutables squaring and pisces are kinda notorious for being wishy washy at times)
So I agree with Amelia. Look at her actions. Just a note of advice. Alot of exes go on about how much 'they love you and miss you/care about you/think about you' but where are they? They're not with you are they?

This is the pattern I see with people all around me with their exes. People like having a back up and people like the extra emotional support.

When you think about it, it's actually slightly unfair to her new bf (regardless of how new it is) that she's still sharing emotional convos with you.
She should refrain from that out of respect for the new guy. And she should stop, bc in a way it's leading you on and it's getting your hopes up, and in a small way she seems to have you around her little finger.

Sorry to be cynical. But I do ALOT of observing and this is usually what's going on.

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Totally agree with you hence i have been on a no contact phase for almost a week. i have block her from seeing my new pics/updates on fb cos i dun want her to see what's up in my life.. and just when i thought i am moving on she popped up with a text msg 2 days ago asking for my permission to return my gift even though she loves it alot - i ignored her text msg.

posted January 14, 2012 03:12 AM            

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Originally posted by amelia28:
Mintgirl you are right about what you are saying but there are exceptions. In my case I told my ex that I will always love him bc is the truth I WILL always love him (this is true in my case, 9 years have passed and I still have feelings for him although I am not in love anymore). I do still think about him and miss him sometimes (every month at some point I will feel I miss him) but I made it clear I want him to be happy and find a new girl and get married and fall in love again bc unfortunately is too late for us and I am married. I made it very clear and he is not waiting for me or anything he never did, he always kept living his life in spite of still having feelings for me and even jumped into a long term relationship right after we broke up which is what really messed it up for us, we would have gotten back together otherwise but he couldn't stand the pain so instead of fighting for me got involve with someone else to get back at me but then ended up caring for her and his libra venus and mars takes commitments seriously so he ended up taking seriously rebound girl to get over me and it backfired on our relationship (it didnt help that I moved back go the DR to get over him so during that time he got involved with someone else). I always intuitively knew that he got involved with her to get over me and he told me himself this year that this is what happened. He finally broke up with her and by that time I was engaged.

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sigh.. seemed like the dude missed the boat but i can't blame him for moving on cos facts told him so.

posted January 14, 2012 03:13 AM            

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Originally posted by amelia28:
Mintgirl you are right about what you are saying but there are exceptions. In my case I told my ex that I will always love him bc is the truth I WILL always love him (this is true in my case, 9 years have passed and I still have feelings for him although I am not in love anymore). I do still think about him and miss him sometimes (every month at some point I will feel I miss him) but I made it clear I want him to be happy and find a new girl and get married and fall in love again bc unfortunately is too late for us and I am married. I made it very clear and he is not waiting for me or anything he never did, he always kept living his life in spite of still having feelings for me and even jumped into a long term relationship right after we broke up which is what really messed it up for us, we would have gotten back together otherwise but he couldn't stand the pain so instead of fighting for me got involve with someone else to get back at me but then ended up caring for her as his libra venus and SATURN takes commitments seriously so he ended up taking seriously rebound girl to get over me and it backfired on our relationship (it didnt help that I moved back go the DR to get over him so during that time he got involved with someone else). I always intuitively knew that he got involved with her to get over me and he told me himself this year that this is what happened. He finally broke up with her and by that time I was engaged.

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Yeah I do know alot of exes do have feelings for their exes, but still... Some people still subconsciously (or otherwise) do it for other reasons as well. Which is actually really sad you know, playing with people's emotions.

posted January 14, 2012 03:15 AM            

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Originally posted by mintgirl123:
She wants you to respond. Please don't lol. I know it'll start getting very hard once it hits 9 days. And this need to talk to them comes in waves and you may fluctuate btwn feeling this total urgent NEED to hear their voice and feeling like you're getting better.
I experienced it and it lasted ages for me, *but* you'll feel stronger and stronger! And you'll feel better in time.

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guess she knows she is slowly losing me in her life hence she dangle the carrot in front of me trying to lure me into responding.. playing head games with me eh?

but yes thank you for the encouragement! onwards and upwards!

posted January 14, 2012 03:16 AM            

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however i still do not understand the "i love you but i am not in love with you - yet you still have feelings"? so which is what? can the feelings be interpreted as just friendship type?

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posted January 14, 2012 03:20 AM            

But for me is not security reasons with my ex...is an unbreakable bond and I am sure we will reunite again in the next lifetime and pick up were we left. Unconditional love is how I was able to let go of him and heal but ofcourse the connection is still there.

posted January 14, 2012 03:26 AM            

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Originally posted by mintgirl123:
^ yeah that's why she messaged you about the gift. I think cos she knew it would hit a nerve.
Kinda sad actually. It was really good you didn't respond.

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it sure did hit a raw nerve and i was both angry and confused... but when i settled down i took it that she just wanted attention so i'll just ignore her.. and i actually felt at peace.

posted January 14, 2012 03:27 AM            

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Originally posted by astro_flame:
sigh.. seemed like the dude missed the boat but i can't blame him for moving on cos facts told him so.

however i still do not understand the "i love you but i am not in love with you - yet you still have feelings"? so which is what? can the feelings be interpreted as just friendship type?

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NO.....not just friendship. I have moved on but I have romantic feelings for him and always will....is hard to explain but the closest I can get to explaining this is that humans DO have the capacity to love more than one person at the same time, we do. But I have moved on and have a life with someone else and is too late for us now.

posted January 14, 2012 03:33 AM            

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Originally posted by mintgirl123:
^ yeah lol I wasn't referring to you specifically. Just saying in general. There's alot of selfish people in this world.

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posted January 14, 2012 03:36 AM            

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Originally posted by amelia28:
NO.....not just friendship. I have moved on but I have romantic feelings for him and always will....is hard to explain but the closest I can get to explaining this is that humans DO have the capacity to love more than one person at the same time, we do. But I have moved on and have a life with someone else and is too late for us now.

I personally think some day far away into the future, open relationships will be be norm.

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posted January 14, 2012 03:44 AM            

Some people get comfortable and they just crave CHANGE. She's a mutable sun and moon, and having uranus near her desc, it's inevitable actually.

posted January 14, 2012 04:22 AM            

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Originally posted by amelia28:
People have the capacity to care for more than one person at the same time, We do. When I love I dont really ever stop loving the person I once loved if the love was real. Love is forever for me.

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posted January 14, 2012 04:45 AM            

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Originally posted by mintgirl123:
It's all about the whole excitement, freshness of somebody NEW. Grass is greener and all that.

Some people get comfortable and they just crave CHANGE. She's a mutable sun and moon, and having uranus near her desc, it's inevitable actually.

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it does sound like she's not gonna find someone whom she can share her life with forever if she keeps hopping like these.. sigh..

i sure do hope she will come to her senses one day that this boy loves her so.

posted January 14, 2012 09:41 AM            

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Originally posted by RunAroundScreaming:
Omg, me too! that's how i am too... I still love so many of my crushes that i chose not to be with even though they were interested as well. It just didnt feel like they were the one, and it didnt feel right. But i loved them soooo much and still do. Omg i could melt in their presence. I think u should def aim for that significant other who makes you competely forget about all past loves, though, and even doesnt even make u want to look at another guy in that way bc u are so happy with who u have! I have experienced love like that twice, and yes it involved venus-pluto of course lol.

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I had that with my ex that feeling extremely pronounced (I would have died for him at some point) ........we had a bunch of other aspects including venus pluto in synastry but A BUNCH of aspects in composite and synastry that explain the intense connection. And I didn't want to be with anybody else but I am not 19 years old anymore....I am 28 years old and it took A LOT to get over him and even though I still have feelings to some extent for him, I want to be more with my husband than I do with him probably bc too much time passed and I have changed a lot as a result of getting over him, a lot. I am a different person today who no longer beliefs in just having one soulmate. I understand we can love different people for different reasons. I understand that loving in a detached way expands your ability to love so that you can love more than one person at the same time. I dont think there is just One person for you, that is a very romantic idea but the truth is that there is more than one person for everyone. And I dont have feelings for crushes I have feelings for my ex but from a distance as I am not acting on them, for my husband and for a friend of mine who lives in another state who I have venus/pluto conjunct in composite and he has feelings for me too. Ultimately I have something with my husband that must be awesome bc he wins at the end of the day and I don't have a love stellium or venus conjunct pluto or an amazing moon/sun aspect just three stelliums involving the 8th, 7th and 5th. He is the one that completes me the most out of the three even if the other two are just as meaningful, husband is my rock who makes me feel safe and completes me while the other two make feel great but we are more similar so they complement me less.

posted January 14, 2012 12:10 PM            

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Originally posted by mintgirl123:
I don't think you should try to convince her or to hang onto her. The best way of getting somebody to realise things is to disappear from their life. And don't do it hoping she'll run after you, do it bc you should believe you deserve more than what you're getting. Sure she's upset, but the reality of the situation is for whatever reason, she decided to have something with somebody else. She obviously wants to explore life alittle and not settle down with one person.

Live your life, and if it's meant to be in the future, it WILL BE.

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i re-read the whole thread again and thank you mintgirl123 - what you have advised has been inspiring to me. thank you to everyone who contributed - much appreciated for taking time to respond to my endless qns.

posted January 14, 2012 07:32 PM            

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Originally posted by RunAroundScreaming:
Melia, can you post you and your husband's birthdates

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His: sept 30th 1980 Royal oak, MI

Mine: Sept 21 1983 Santo domingo, Dominican Republic.

posted January 14, 2012 07:41 PM            

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Originally posted by astro_flame:
it does sound like she's not gonna find someone whom she can share her life with forever if she keeps hopping like these.. sigh..

i sure do hope she will come to her senses one day that this boy loves her so.

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posted January 14, 2012 07:57 PM            

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Originally posted by astro_flame:
But wouldn't it be painful to be in a r/s when u have such a strong connection with the other person? No offence here but i know i can't.. if my heart is with someone else i know i can't stay with the current person.

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