posted May 21, 2012 11:22 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
^ that's how I've operated since my first disaster

If someone liked me, that person would have to tell me. No way in hell would I ever confess first. Someone wanted to know if I loved them, they'd have to take the risk of the first move.

Plus, honestly, as a Venus in Scorpio person, I have to admit to wanting an upper hand. Knowing that someone likes you (ideally without them knowing that you know) gives you the power of deciding what happens next.

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posted May 22, 2012 12:58 AM            

Whenever I gave him an update about a project, he would stroke my hair. He would tell me that he cared about me and would ask me out if he weren't my boss. He never forced me to date him in order to keep my job or anything extreme like that. Needless to say, I decided to quit because it was too weird for me to deal with that kind of behavior from my boss.

posted May 22, 2012 01:01 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Astra:

As for my aqua venus friends, they are the first ones to give someone a hug who is upset. They're very nurturing if you give them their space. I like having my space and despise being around clingy people, so giving others their space is easy for me. They tend to be very warm and affectionate friends once they realize that you won't suffocate them with attention.

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posted May 22, 2012 06:03 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Astra:
I have never dated a Venus in Aqua man before, but I certainly have known a few. When I was 21, I had a boss with this placement. He was very....um, affectionate, which definitely freaked me out.

Whenever I gave him an update about a project, he would stroke my hair. He would tell me that he cared about me and would ask me out if he weren't my boss. He never forced me to date him in order to keep my job or anything extreme like that. Needless to say, I decided to quit because it was too weird for me to deal with that kind of behavior from my boss.

As for my aqua venus friends, they are the first ones to give someone a hug who is upset. They're very nurturing if you give them their space. I like having my space and despise being around clingy people, so giving others their space is easy for me. They tend to be very warm and affectionate friends once they realize that you won't suffocate them with attention.

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posted May 22, 2012 06:13 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Yea, I don't mind making the first move as long as she is giving me hints that she might feel the same, I don't like the whole playing hard to get business.

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I'm on the fence about "hard to get". I don't think that a girl should give herself away so easily; someone should have to work for her and earn her, though NOT to an extreme level. What I do mean, though, is that someone should have to respect a woman and treat her right in order for her to stay. This would go for men, too.

posted May 22, 2012 06:30 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Belage:
If you have a lot of air in your chart, you may be fine with what I, as an earth sign and water rising may feel is lack of physical affection. We all have different physical needs...

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There are a lot of earth and water in my chart but i do have Venus opposite Uranus in my natal chart. (and venus trine jupiter..hmmm)

After dating this Aqua guy, I started to look back at my previous relationships. I found that I do like physical affection but the most common word i said to my exes are 'Let's break up'.
It was because there was no such excitement and that thought just happened in my head expecially when we spent too much time together. (it even made me felt like i couldn't breathe.)

So this guy has brought me a new facet of relationship and i found it very interesting.
I personally think it's better than those emotional ones when people keep saying 'I love you' and end up hurting you in some ways.
But with him, I feel like we would finally become good friends and can always rely on each other. He kept the distance but when something really bad happened to me, he was the first one who was there for me.

posted May 22, 2012 06:38 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Astra:
When I was 21, I had a boss with this placement. He was very....um, affectionate, which definitely freaked me out.

Whenever I gave him an update about a project, he would stroke my hair. He would tell me that he cared about me and would ask me out if he weren't my boss. He never forced me to date him in order to keep my job or anything extreme like that. Needless to say, I decided to quit because it was too weird for me to deal with that kind of behavior from my boss.

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I agree with RegardesPlatero about the sexual harassment, I'm glad you don't work with him anymore.

posted May 22, 2012 08:39 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by starfox:
Originally posted by rose_s:
ok..here I am again.

I'm falling for a guy with aqua sun and venus. Here are my questions.

1. How would you react toward people you don't feel anything with when they told you that they loved you?

I would feel rather awkward and I would try to defuse it somehow.

2. Do venus in aqua lead people on?

I generally wouldn't lead anyone on, what would be the point to do that?

3. How long does it take you to open up about your feeling to those loved ones?

Much longer when I was younger and much shorter as I grow older.

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I am the same answer for 1 and 2, I'd feel awkward and would probably skirt around the confession or just avoid them for awhile, and for number 3, I've always been very quick to tell people I love them. I'm very open and tend to share whatever is going through my mind at that moment, whether it's, "I love you," or "I think you're an idiot." Unfortunately, it also means I sometimes say things I don't mean and have to take back later. The problem is that I meant it in the moment.

posted May 22, 2012 09:48 AM            

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Originally posted by Aquacheeka:

For me, I am attracted to guys who are physically affectionate but I don't like it when they're too corny/sappy. I wanted a guy who could be my best friend... a best friend I could hold hands with. A best friend with benefits. Saying I love you is fine but don't get all Michael Bolton on me. That s*** is a turn-off.

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So it's like an ideal relationship for some Aqua people is Friends with benefits, but both probably have such a deep feeling for each other and agree to keep things in a more light/friendly way?

Thanks for sharing.

posted May 22, 2012 01:18 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Astra:
[b]They tend to be very warm and affectionate friends once they realize that you won't suffocate them with attention.

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THAT's the nail on the head. And my CP is the same way. He was nervous that, because of how close we've always been, that when we began building a real relationship off of honesty, I'd expect some kind of commitment from him. Of course, he never ASKED - just ASSUMED - which caused major problems for several months. Nearly wrecked the show.

But once we cleared the air, and he realised I'm NOT looking for a Relationship from him - I already know he's just not capable of that now, and may not ever truly be - but he knows I accept him for who he is - EVERYTHING kinda changed. Kinda crazy fast, too. It's always been a little hard on me, knowing the balance, and I'd find myself distancing, which would cause its own problems.

But after he knew that my 'displays' of affection were just that, and not intended to be some sort of hint or lure, he relaxed completely, and started being SO much more open with his own emotions.

Last night, at the wake of a friend of mine, who reminds me a lot of him, and the relationship my friend had with his best friend, with whom I'm very close - I found myself, maybe for the first time, telling him that he means a lot to me. Kinda out of the blue, but he got it. I never need to really explain myself. He probably assumed I was also at the wake and somewhat verklempt and taking a private moment. And in that moment, I REALLY wanted him to know. He responded with a smiley-face, which, for him, is fine. If he hadn't responded at all, it would've been because the display freaked him out, and he wasn't sure how to address the situation. And a 'you, too' wasn't necessary. Especially because he'd stopped calling me for the past week due to the fact that I'd done my distancing thing for almost two weeks about a month ago.

So now it's my turn to pick up the ball again and start calling him once a day like he did me. Which is entirely fair. It's also all just a little bit overcomplicated because of the balance-striving. Like me, he's terrified of rejection, you'd just never know it, either. We both play it off as cool detachment. We're not secretly obsessing, either. I ONLY obsess when I perceive something's off. But I spent SO many years analysing this or that about him, that now, it's just a tremendous relief to be beyond the BS and completely honest.

A relationship with an Aqua Venus individual, absolutely, will not work, without total honesty. If you're both playing from scripts in your head which are incorrect, you're bound to have problems communicating. And, more so than other placements, I've discovered that you only get their genuine, warm, affectionate nature when they're completely comfortable with you, and aren't secretly fearing an ulterior motive. THEN you'll get the aloof distancing.

And, if you're like me, and respond with aloof distancing? Guess what? Now you're really not communicating at all, and the relationship is failing. Don't let that happen. If you do, however, do as I did. Be totally honest about it, apologise, (a few times, depending) and then move on from it - and don't do it again. And if he's anything like my CP, you'll probably have to do the initiating for awhile until he feels things have reached an equilibrium.

But be REAL with each other, and you can avoid SO many conflicts.

-A.

posted May 22, 2012 07:29 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by rose_s:
ok..here I am again.

I'm falling for a guy with aqua sun and venus. Here are my questions.

1. How would you react toward people you don't feel anything with when they told you that they loved you?

2. Do venus in aqua lead people on?

3. How long does it take you to open up about your feeling to those loved ones?

please feel free to share your experience. Thank you.

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I am female w/Sun Aqua & Venus Aqua so maybe this doesn't appyl as much to your situation?

1. I think I'm pretty straight forward about being clear when it comes to saying "not interested".

2. If I don't like someone, there's no faking it or pretending. In fact, even when an old ex has contacted me, I almost ignore them - because for me, if I know why it ended, I don't entertain them again. I'm not into ego or having several guys pursue me.

3. This is gonna be a problem I think with a lot of your typical aquas. There's a hugehugehuge problem with opening up/trust/expression feelings & emotions. If I like someone or am even just crushing on someone, it's hard for me to look them in the eye... I hate being 1:1 with that person... and I almost overcompensate my interest by acting super aloof. I need to know the feelings are reciprocated, and maybe stronger by the other person. That's the struggle I think with anyone who goes after an aqua dominant person - we need you to show your cards first and convince us you're not bluffing.

Good luck!

posted May 23, 2012 01:14 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
I'm on the fence about "hard to get". I don't think that a girl should give herself away so easily; someone should have to work for her and earn her, though NOT to an extreme level. What I do mean, though, is that someone should have to respect a woman and treat her right in order for her to stay. This would go for men, too.

However, on the other hand, it isn't really fair to lead people on or anything, and it isn't fair to toy with people's feelings. It also isn't fair to be demanding to an extreme.

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posted May 23, 2012 01:35 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by bluegreyeyes:

3. This is gonna be a problem I think with a lot of your typical aquas. There's a hugehugehuge problem with opening up/trust/expression feelings & emotions. If I like someone or am even just crushing on someone, it's hard for me to look them in the eye... I hate being 1:1 with that person... and I almost overcompensate my interest by acting super aloof. I need to know the feelings are reciprocated, and maybe stronger by the other person. That's the struggle I think with anyone who goes after an aqua dominant person - we need you to show your cards first and convince us you're not bluffing.

Good luck!

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OMG! I like an Aqua guy at work and he is VERY sensitive and shy. He looks unapproachable and tough though (we're similar that way... it's kind of weird.) and the way he walks you would think he'd have a lot of confidence, like an Aries, but he has a VERY hard time holding eye contact or looking me in the eye too! I think I have an empathic/empathetic connection to him because whenever I'm around him I get flustered and shaky and that never happens to me with other guys I'm interested in.

posted May 23, 2012 03:11 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:

A woman shouldn't give herself away, but at the same time she shouldn't try to distance herself so much that you can't tell whether she is interested. I have had women who I was talking to and or dating who have never said they find me handsome or attractive,never reached out to me or called me as I mentioned earlier,and when I would text or call them they would pllay it all cool and wouldn't seem happy to hear from me. So naturally I would get discouraged and quit contacting them and they would text call or email me and say they were hurt that I hadn't talked to them and I'm thinking wtf! So to summarize it, I want a woman who lets me know that she is interested so I can be assured I am not wasting my time.I hate how all relationships feel like a power trip in the beginning.

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I'd say after about 3 dates, if the girl hasn't given you any obvious sign of attraction (i.e. genuine compliments, initiate a call/text, etc), then you need to ask her directly where you stand. It's awkward, but necessary if the girl isn't particularly direct. Say something like, "I just want to say that I think you're a great girl, and I would like to continue dating you and getting to know you more. What do you think?" If the girl appears hesitant, then this most likely indicates that she is either confused about how she feels about you or she isn't interested at all. Assure her that she can be perfectly honest with you and that you just want to know where you stand with her. If she rejects you, be gracious about it, and take her home. It may hurt, but it's better than being stuck in a fake relationship. If the girl is offended at you asking her to be straight with you, then she's clearly not someone you would want to be with anyway. These types tend to be drama queens.

posted December 03, 2012 02:56 PM            

2. Do venus in aqua lead people on?
If they do it's not intentionally. It's probably b/c they genuinely find you a good friend so they keep wanting to hangout but they don't actually have any feelings for you

3. How long does it take you to open up about your feeling to those loved ones?
Definitely not right off the bat. I mean I've told my BF I loved him a couple months into the relationship but that was enough for me at the time. There's still things I haven't told him about myself as well as about my feelings for him. It's been almost 6 months now.

********
This might be too late of a response ;/ but you should do an update of what happened w/ this guy

posted December 03, 2012 04:15 PM            

With my wife, her love style is like let's be friends and enjoy the benefits of physical too. Let's hang out and laugh and be dedicated to each other too (well, she didn't adhere to the dedication bit lol).

With a Aqua Sun Aqua Venus I dated, her style was similar. What floated her boat was just hanging out talking and walking, that really did it for her. Or even watching TV quietly together was what she wanted a lot too. She wasn't clingy and we talked everyday (she usually called me).

She did however talk about her feelings for me more often than not. She said I made it easy for her to express how she felt about me without worrying if I'd run for the hills.

------------------
Gemini Sun
Libra Moon
Gemini Mercury
Cancer Venus
Virgo Mars
Virgo Asc

posted December 03, 2012 09:01 PM            

The Aquarius Sun has Libra moon and Gemini ascendant - very airy chart. It's been 11 years since we broke up, we're still good friends, and he's still not over the break up, even though he's married. *shrug*

The Capricorn one has a Virgo moon, and we're not sure what ascendant because the time of birth was unknown. We are no longer friends, because of the same reason as #1, except the "couldn't get over the break up," I felt, was bordering on unhealthy so I had to cut the person off completely, unfortunately. Lovely person, though.

All that to say, I myself am surprised that both these Aquarius Venus people were so relationship oriented and emotionally committed. I was, too, but not in the "forever" sense, sadly. In the end, MY feelings changed to "can we just be friends?"

One of the key things in both relationships was that we were friends first before dating, in both cases - but it was *I* who insisted on that, not them. I generally insist on that, actually.

I blame that on my Sagittarius moon, lol, because otherwise with a Venus and Mars in Taurus, a Scorpio ascendant, and a Sun in Pisces...I have no idea why I always have to be friends first with my future s.o.

Incidentally, I currently also have a crush on an Aquarius Venus (Pisces Sun), so none of it makes sense to me! Except one thing: I find this Venus to be very non-judgmental, very unique, and with a great sense of humor, all of which I really like. Also, not to completely generalize, but I find people with this Venus placement to be great humanitarians - caring towards the less fortunate/underdog, which is very, very appealing to me - probably to my Pisces sun, so...I do like this lot for that charcteristic alone.

I find that they can hedge their reaction when they're not into someone who is into them, but I think that is so as not to be insensitive to the interested party's feelings, not to be aloof/indifferent

The only Aquarius in my chart is my North node, so...who knows why I click with this Venus placement.

posted December 03, 2012 10:19 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aquacheeka:
StarsCollide, your experience with your Venus in Aquas sounds exactly like every interaction I've ever had with a mutable sign (and compound that if mutable moon, too). They love passionaely, but not forever. That doesn't sit well with us fixed people.

I just don't understand mutable people. What is the point of falling in love if you're just going to rotate partners like underwear?

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Experience helps and in the process of figuring what works/not, I have gotten into and out of relationships. And sometimes, you think you're in love (peronally speaking), and then realize it's not IN love, it's just love. Like, I love you like a friend, not a life partner. Sometimes, you don't realize this until too late or until you have more experience in life.

Although, I do empathize with your experience with mutables: My last relationship was with a Sagittarius Sun, Gemini Mars...and can we say, super flakey? That, depite a Taurus Moon and a Scorpio Venus, too.

I'm personally the opposite of flakey but I will not, in the end, stick with something that is just not working. What's the point, you know? It's not good for either party.

posted December 03, 2012 10:20 PM            

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
^^. Aquacheeka, I've been going strong for 20 years. Surely that counts for something.

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posted December 03, 2012 10:23 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by StarsCollide:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Aquacheeka:
[b]StarsCollide, your experience with your Venus in Aquas sounds exactly like every interaction I've ever had with a mutable sign (and compound that if mutable moon, too). They love passionaely, but not forever. That doesn't sit well with us fixed people.

I just don't understand mutable people. What is the point of falling in love if you're just going to rotate partners like underwear?

---

Experience helps and in the process of figuring what works/not, I have gotten into and out of relationships. And sometimes, you think you're in love (peronally speaking), and then realize it's not IN love, it's just love. Like, I love you like a friend, not a life partner. Sometimes, you don't realize this until too late or until you have more experience in life.

Although, I do empathize with your experience with mutables: My last relationship was with a Sagittarius Sun, Gemini Mars...and can we say, super flakey? That, depite a Taurus Moon and a Scorpio Venus, too.

I'm personally the opposite of flakey but I will not, in the end, stick with something that is just not working. What's the point, you know? It's not good for either party.

[/B][/QUOTE]

posted December 03, 2012 10:30 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aquacheeka:
My personal experience with mutable signs is that they don't know what they want. It seems like many of them do the breakup-recycling thing a lot (for instance, my Pisces friend dumped his Sagittarius girlfriend because things "just weren't working," then got back together with her two months later.) I find the lack of stability... unnerving, to say the least. I know astrology isn't to be used as a tool for discrimination but I must admit that I've developed a bit of an allergy to mutables (as more than friends). I've dated all four types and they've all proven to be very fickle and not really knowing what they want but perpetually searching for "something."

---

That makes me resentful, I communicate the issue...and nope, no improvement. After a while (we're talking a long, patient while), I do have to leave them behind.

But I don't flake on feelings: it's either there, or not. But if the feelings change in the course of a relationship, one also has to honor that an act accordingly. Nobody wants to be in a relationship with a partner who just loves them, but is not "in love" with them, if they are in love with the partner, right? This is definitely right in my case.

I did briefly date a Pisces a while back - maddening. So flakey. I gave up after a while.

Venus/Mars placements matter, too, and mine are quite fixed, TYVM.

But let me say, I have also dated fuxed sun signs who have been flakey...so we can pidgeonhole everyone by sun sign alone.

But I get it - there are sun signs I just avoid romantically, regardless. Aatrology does matter, IMO.