posted May 09, 2013 07:23 PM            

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There is this funny thing, called empathy, compassion. It's pretty cool, you should check it out. It means you don't have to act like a machine all the time and can actually have feelings.

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There is this other thing called - exaggerating.

A funny comeback would cause no harm to that guy. And he started it.

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Maybe I'm just a hyper emotional man, who is too sensitive, empathetic and caring for his own good.

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Yes.. it's a really good thing to have empathy and be a caring person - but there is a time and place for everything.. and in this context, I do feel you are exaggerating.

posted May 09, 2013 08:15 PM            

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Originally posted by goatcat:
I was waiting for someone to say this.
But what do you do when everything else in the relationship is fine? I would feel ****** if we broke up because "I can't take a joke" you know?

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Try taking it a step further. Is this really about whether or not "you can take a joke"? Or is it about feeling like you're willing to work at the relationship but that he isn't? You've mentioned making changes to suit him; do you feel like he's made ANY changes to please you? Or does it all seem to work one way?

Personally, all relationships have things we love and things that we don't like. Some of what we don't like is fixable and some we just have to except as part of the price we pay to have a certain individual in our life (and knowing that they probably are putting up with a bit from us, too).

But when it feels UNFAIR, like you're always having to adapt? I think that's a warning sign. You DON'T want to look back on a relationship and regret how much you've lost touch with who you are or the things that are important to you just to please someone else who didn't really care about you anyway (if that's the case). No one else can decide this for you. You need to work this out for yourself.

posted May 09, 2013 08:39 PM            

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Originally posted by hikoro:
except that your complaints about him go beyond the fact you cant take a joke.
you're still downplaying things and finding justifications...and that's ok...regardless...
what is meant to happen will happen

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posted May 09, 2013 08:42 PM            

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Originally posted by Jkitty:
Try taking it a step further. Is this really about whether or not "you can take a joke"? Or is it about feeling like you're willing to work at the relationship but that he isn't? You've mentioned making changes to suit him; do you feel like he's made ANY changes to please you? Or does it all seem to work one way?

Personally, all relationships have things we love and things that we don't like. Some of what we don't like is fixable and some we just have to except as part of the price we pay to have a certain individual in our life (and knowing that they probably are putting up with a bit from us, too).

But when it feels UNFAIR, like you're always having to adapt? I think that's a warning sign. You DON'T want to look back on a relationship and regret how much you've lost touch with who you are or the things that are important to you just to please someone else who didn't really care about you anyway (if that's the case). No one else can decide this for you. You need to work this out for yourself.

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posted May 09, 2013 09:20 PM            

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So when I was talking to him about how it hurt my feelings he still wasn't taking me seriously. He just laughed more and told me he was joking. I told him that his laughing while explaining my feelings made me feel inferior and he still laughed. I just walked away.[/B]

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That's what people do when they don't want to take responsibility for hurting someone else. They try to make it out like YOU'RE the one with the problem.

I applaud you for having a voice and standing up for yourself, but for me, being a cancer, I'd have a very hard time being with someone so insensitive.

As for Caps, I think some can't take a joke when it's personally directed. I have an old BF who was great at dishing it out, but if you threw it back, he'd get Scorpio hostile.

posted May 11, 2013 08:36 AM            

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Originally posted by goatcat:
This is probably why people don't like Capricorns because they feel like we can't take a joke.

But anyways

I'm a Capricorn with a lot of Neptune in my chart and I hate it. I'm clumsy and forgetful. Always dropping things.

I spilled something today at work and as usual my boyfriend, in front of everyone, is the first to find it funny saying, "You can't leave anything up to her!"

My ego was crushed soooooo badly. I would like to be taken seriously but his comment made me feel as if I'm not one to take serious because I'm always spilling things or knocking things over.

Oh my gosh you guys do not understand what this does to the Capricorn ego.

So when I was talking to him about how it hurt my feelings he still wasn't taking me seriously. He just laughed more and told me he was joking. I told him that his laughing while explaining my feelings made me feel inferior and he still laughed. I just walked away.

When I'm not being taken serious on a matter that I feel is important I feel so inferior. Does it have to do with control?

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Aww, what you described sounds exactly like a Capricorn in my life, he will whine and get all upset if I snicker at him when he messes up saying certain difficult words or trips, drops things, etc. I feel like I don't do it on purpose it's just my Sag. rising being obnoxious but I noticed how sensitive this Cap was to what you described too...

posted May 11, 2013 03:17 PM            

Perhaps they're more offended when the joke is not funny and just stupid.
There people who're terribly unfunny and should be ashamed of themselves for sucking at jokes.

posted May 12, 2013 06:18 PM            

The other day at my work I nearly fell over but I recovered and made it look like I had begun to dance a wild dance..which made everyone laugh

posted May 12, 2013 07:54 PM            

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Originally posted by goatcat:
This is probably why people don't like Capricorns because they feel like we can't take a joke.

But anyways

I'm a Capricorn with a lot of Neptune in my chart and I hate it. I'm clumsy and forgetful. Always dropping things.

I spilled something today at work and as usual my boyfriend, in front of everyone, is the first to find it funny saying, "You can't leave anything up to her!"

My ego was crushed soooooo badly. I would like to be taken seriously but his comment made me feel as if I'm not one to take serious because I'm always spilling things or knocking things over.

Oh my gosh you guys do not understand what this does to the Capricorn ego.

So when I was talking to him about how it hurt my feelings he still wasn't taking me seriously. He just laughed more and told me he was joking. I told him that his laughing while explaining my feelings made me feel inferior and he still laughed. I just walked away.

When I'm not being taken serious on a matter that I feel is important I feel so inferior. Does it have to do with control?

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posted May 12, 2013 09:54 PM            

Reputation needs to be built off hard work and real results, not some illegitimate means of outdated, approval-seeking, baseless, behavior. That generation is done and over with.

posted May 12, 2013 10:20 PM            

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Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
Goatcat, Libra or not, he should not laugh at something like this. I am Libra dominant and do not make a habit of laughing at stuff like this because people do not like it, generally. They might feel self conscious and laughing at them would only make them feel worse about the situation. I am slightly clumsy, too, by the way, so I understand. I would not be too thrilled with someone who acted like that about it. It's not like we do it on purpose. Don't they realize if we could help it, we wouldn't be clumsy in the first place?

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Through my experience in working with clients that want their chart done, I've discovered this strange truth: Fixed and mutable dominant charts tend to be the ones criticizing, let alone FINDING the time to criticize and pass jokes on other people, whereas the cardinal dominant charts (such as yours, Libra dominant, or mine, Capricorn/Aries/Libra/Cancer) charts tend to be more aggressive in action, with little to no time to criticize unless there is an underlying motive for a greater purpose.

posted May 13, 2013 12:13 PM            

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Originally posted by neilthecellist:
Agreed. I have Mercury and Mars in the 9th and 10th (respectively) and it absolutely angers me to no end when people crack jokes that violate someone's integrity, and then try to pass off responsibility off to the person they're making fun of as "low self confidence". What rubbish. This is why I typically make more money than the people insulting me, I can humble myself into work, creating partnerships with others in the workplace and working hard (Saturn/Uranus/Neptune in first house) to get what NEEDS to get done. Your money won't lie, your credit score won't lie. Pretty much every person I've met who makes 100 bucks look like 1000 are the ones dealing with debt problems. You can't make something out of nothing, that is a **** -poor grasp of economics, whether the currency is human resources or money itself.

Reputation needs to be built off hard work and real results, not some illegitimate means of outdated, approval-seeking, baseless, behavior. That generation is done and over with.

And now that Capricornian phrase I throw into all my employee write ups, "Failure to comply by guidelines and/or company policy will result in further discipliniary action up to and including employment termination."

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posted May 13, 2013 02:13 PM            

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Originally posted by goatcat:
Whaaaaaaaaaatttttt???
What does have to do with anything...

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posted May 13, 2013 02:27 PM            

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Originally posted by neilthecellist:
"Teasing" someone for clumsiness is irrelevant. What matters in social behavior is your reputation of what you deliver-- I have seen enough people in my lifetime, fired enough people in personal and professional life to know what is actually worth socially acceptable behavior and what isn't. The OP sounds like she's with someone who doesn't really understand how impractical his "jokes" are to her-- Hence if I were, like I said before, I would break up with him. Impractical, illogical, and seemingly socially unwanted behavior to the OP. I don't know how else to better explain this to you.

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posted May 13, 2013 03:28 PM            

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Originally posted by neilthecellist:
I have seen enough people in my lifetime, fired enough people in personal and professional life to know what is actually worth socially acceptable behavior and what isn't.

Hence if I were, like I said before, I would break up with him. Impractical, illogical, and seemingly socially unwanted behavior to the OP. I don't know how else to better explain this to you.

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I'm missing the points in your posts because I feel like you're mainly mentioning that you manage people and fire them and get paid and all these irrelevant things.

Starlight seems to get it. I like this guy I just don't like when he does this. I've since gotten over it. I look at it as I'm actually happy with him 98% of the time so who cares. And knowing my boyfriend, the best way to teach him a lesson is to give him a dose of his own medicine.