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Author
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Topic: Casual relations – for and opposed
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meyray
Knowflake Posts: 237
From:
Registered: Oct 2012
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posted June 24, 2013 01:41 PM
  
This is an issue I’ve wanted to talk about for a long time – casual relationships and casual sex.I consider myself a fairly reasonable and non-foolishly idealistic person when it comes to love but there is one thing I’ve always had a major problem with and that’s casual sex and casual relationships. I’m usually able to articulate myself and analyze why I feel the way I do about certain things but I can’t do it with this topic. I feel emotionally compromised…. Even the thought of casual sex makes me feel anger, sadness and disgust. It hurts me even though I don’t (and never will) practice it. Just the idea of it drives me insane. I have some kind of unreasonable aversion to it. I don’t want to play the gender card but I will go out on a limb and say that more men tend to practice it than women. I’ve had conversations about this several times and when someone says “people [men] can love someone but that they can still have sex with someone else” it just makes me enraged. Just pure rage. The idea of separating love and care from sex offends me greatly. So my question is what in a person’s chart can makes them dogmatically opposed to casual sex and what can make them practice it?
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hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 4741
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted June 24, 2013 02:01 PM
Where's your Mars? Venus? How is it aspected?IP: Logged |
Doux Rêve
Moderator Posts: 3812
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted June 24, 2013 02:03 PM
I used to think the same way.
Then life happened.Gemini rising
Moon square Mars ETA: I separate love from sex, I attribute that to the Moon / Mars square.
Could be something else though. IP: Logged |
meyray
Knowflake Posts: 237
From:
Registered: Oct 2012
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posted June 24, 2013 02:16 PM
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
Where's your Mars? Venus? How is it aspected?
Venus in Scorpio, 6H
Mars in Leo, 4H
Mars is greatly afflicted – receives squares from Sun, Moon, Venus, Jupiter and the North Node and an opposition from the MC Here is the chart if a look from above is needed.
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meyray
Knowflake Posts: 237
From:
Registered: Oct 2012
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posted June 24, 2013 02:20 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
I used to think the same way.
Then life happened.Gemini rising
Moon square Mars ETA: I separate love from sex, I attribute that to the Moon / Mars square.
Could be something else though.
I know I should learn to tolerate it but I just can't help myself. I don't think I'll ever be able to understand it. (Well I do understand it to some degree but I reject it and refuse to accept it.) To me it seems disrespectful. Like you're just a piece of meat to the other person and they don't value you at all. I'm aware how extreme and misguided this opinion is but like I said this is something I just can't be objective about. IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 4741
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted June 24, 2013 02:23 PM
Honestly, I think it is your Mars in Leo. Yes, you have Venus in Scorpio and that gives you a very specific appetite for love, but Leos in general are very die hard romantics or they have veerrrry fixed views on relationships. Add that to Mars and it explains why you get angry when the two are separated. Leos can have meaningless sex but you have Mars in Leo SQUARE your Sun. I don't know. It just makes sense intuitively to me.IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 4741
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted June 24, 2013 02:26 PM
I used to be disgusted by casual relationships too, but I'm 24 and I'm in the process of realizing people are plain selfish and s.itty. It doesn't mean I won't welcome a loving relationship when it arrives, but otherwise I am okay with exchanging sex on the basis it is always MY choice, and a mutual agreement with the other person. Some people are people I don't want to emotionally get involved with for x reasons, but they are very sexy and physically attractive to me.Gemini ASC
Mars in Gemini
Sun and Venus in Aries IP: Logged |
I'm so cappy
Knowflake Posts: 1430
From: Saturn
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted June 24, 2013 02:27 PM
I can relate. I don't think I'll ever have casual sex, I feel sick just at the thought of it. Damn, I even regret those 3 makeouts I've had. Others can do what they want with their genitals. I don't preach but usually I feel distasted.------------------
I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy. IP: Logged |
Doux Rêve
Moderator Posts: 3812
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted June 24, 2013 02:30 PM
I don't want to sound like a douche but I think you'll change your mind when you get older.I'm a late bloomer and used to be extremely closed off to anything sexual until recently. People change, even those with a fixed stellium. Not saying I'm into casual sex but it's part of life, most people go through it at some point.
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I'm so cappy
Knowflake Posts: 1430
From: Saturn
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted June 24, 2013 02:38 PM
I'm not a prude, I'm rather the opposite. I just need the right person in the right conditions.------------------
I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy. IP: Logged |
I'm so cappy
Knowflake Posts: 1430
From: Saturn
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted June 24, 2013 02:38 PM
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meissieri
Knowflake Posts: 281
From: The Netherlands
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted June 24, 2013 02:52 PM
Are you very traditional? Someone very serious about love? Then you'd naturally not be too fond of (the idea of) flings.Hmm. I'm going to throw out the first things that popped into my head. You have Chiron in your 5th house, meaning pain about casual relationships or flings. Its ruler, Mercury, is in Libra, which is all about relationships and tends to be romantic. So is Leo Mars, like Hannaramaa already pointed out. It's also the ruler of your 12th house. (Maybe that means anything?) Mercury is also your chart ruler, so this puts even more emphasis on how strongly you feel about it. How does that sound? IP: Logged |
Doux Rêve
Moderator Posts: 3812
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted June 24, 2013 03:01 PM
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
It doesn't mean I won't welcome a loving relationship when it arrives, but otherwise I am okay with exchanging sex on the basis it is always MY choice, and a mutual agreement with the other person. Some people are people I don't want to emotionally get involved with for x reasons, but they are very sexy and physically attractive to me.
Agree with this. Although, to be honest, I'm more likely to wait for the "right" person.
It may have sounded like I'm careless but I'm not.
Ideally I'd like to have a loving relationships and a stable sex life.
Much more satisfying.
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I'm so cappy
Knowflake Posts: 1430
From: Saturn
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted June 24, 2013 03:06 PM
Doux, don't worry, we're not going to burn you at the stake  Meyray, I looked at your chart and. We only share Cap Neptune and Uranus and Scorpio Pluto. We have some aspects between the same planets too but they're different. IP: Logged |
Doux Rêve
Moderator Posts: 3812
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted June 24, 2013 03:07 PM
Meyray,Maybe it's cause your DSC and 8th house ruler, Jupiter, conjuncts Pluto.
Pluto doesn't like half-measures and sees things in black and white.
I think that's where you should be looking at. IP: Logged |
Doux Rêve
Moderator Posts: 3812
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted June 24, 2013 03:08 PM
quote:
Originally posted by I'm so cappy:
Doux, don't worry, we're not going to burn you at the stake
Oh why, thank you. IP: Logged |
lisalisa
Newflake Posts: 22
From:
Registered: Jun 2013
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posted June 24, 2013 03:08 PM
i think it's the venus in scorpioIP: Logged |
asclibrasagsun
Knowflake Posts: 1727
From: Mälmo, Sweden
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted June 24, 2013 03:09 PM
@Doux where are your mars and venus planets in your chart?
what is your moon sign?IP: Logged |
rosedl
Knowflake Posts: 56
From:
Registered: Jan 2013
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posted June 24, 2013 03:12 PM
I believe the reason that the mere idea of casual sex is offensive to many people is because it threatens the meaning of how a person wishes to perceive love and sex.The reality is that love and sex do not always go together. If the mere idea of casual sex bothers one (and it used to bother me A LOT), it may be because the person is threatened by the implications of what sex and relationships really mean. I know it used to throw me into existential crisis mode...thinking how meaningless and random human connections truly are.... Finally, I met a man who I love on a whole different type of level and share a connection that transcends my own fears. It is so just THERE....nothing outside of it could possibly harm it.... In reality that type of love just is....those bonds pulse a shared energy that transcend. I never experienced it until recently, and I have had my share of romantic experience. It isn't imposed wanting or needing anything to fit a preconceived model of what should be....nor is it romantic projection of trying to manifest that illusion.... It simply is..... Nothing can touch it. IP: Logged |
meissieri
Knowflake Posts: 281
From: The Netherlands
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted June 24, 2013 03:20 PM
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
I used to be disgusted by casual relationships too, but I'm 24 and I'm in the process of realizing people are plain selfish and s.itty. It doesn't mean I won't welcome a loving relationship when it arrives, but otherwise I am okay with exchanging sex on the basis it is always MY choice, and a mutual agreement with the other person. Some people are people I don't want to emotionally get involved with for x reasons, but they are very sexy and physically attractive to me.Gemini ASC
Mars in Gemini
Sun and Venus in Aries
This is me after a couple of jerk boyfriends. Though I wasn't really disgusted by casual sex at first, I just didn't think I could ever do that with someone I didn't love. Now I'd be okay with some sexual or friends-with-benefits relationship as long as it's clear it's not going to be anything more beforehand. *sigh* IP: Logged |
Doux Rêve
Moderator Posts: 3812
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted June 24, 2013 03:20 PM
quote:
Originally posted by asclibrasagsun:
@Doux where are your mars and venus planets in your chart?
what is your moon sign?
Venus in Libra
Mars in Scorpio
Moon in Virgo Actually my chart is similar to that of meyray, but see, simple things can make a huge difference. My DSC ruler and 8th house ruler, which is also Jupiter, conjuncts Venus. Venus and Jupiter semi-sextile Mars.
quote:
Originally posted by rosedl:
I believe the reason that the mere idea of casual sex is offensive to many people is because it threatens the meaning of how a person wishes to perceive love and sex.
 exactly. IP: Logged |
earthypisces
Knowflake Posts: 260
From: Greenville, South Carolina
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted June 24, 2013 04:11 PM
I feel you, meyray. If other people want to have causal sex, that's fine, that's their business, but it's definitely not for me.I'm a guy, though. Capricorn Venus in the 9th house conjunct Neptune and Uranus, trine Ascendant (as well as Chiron if you use that). Leo Mars retrograde in the 4th house. EDIT: Just realized I have a friend with all of the same personal planets as you, meyray. Awesome. ------------------
Pisces Sun
Capricorn Moon/Venus
Taurus Ascendant
Aquarius Mercury
Leo Mars IP: Logged |
I'm so cappy
Knowflake Posts: 1430
From: Saturn
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted June 24, 2013 04:18 PM
Alright, so I'm gonna tell you my placements too.Aqua Venus square Moon, trine Mars, conjunct Saturn, opposite Jupiter. Taurus Mars trine Venus, trine Saturn, opposite Pluto. ------------------
I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy. IP: Logged |
meyray
Knowflake Posts: 237
From:
Registered: Oct 2012
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posted June 24, 2013 05:11 PM
@hannaramaa
I agree. I think it’s the Leo Mars and I think it has a lot more to do with my (sometimes inflated) sense of self-worth rather than how I perceive relationships. Although how I perceive relationships is a result of the former. quote:
Some people are people I don't want to emotionally get involved with for x reasons, but they are very sexy and physically attractive to me.
That’s something I personally can’t understand too. I can’t imagine being sexually attracted to a person who rubs me the wrong way. It just doesn’t compute in my mind. My though process is – How can I like a person I dislike? @ I'm so cappy
I resonate with you, cappy. @ meissieri
You raise some valid points. So far I’ve always had a block when I thought of this. Now that I make these replies I’m forced to think about it and I come to some conclusions. Generally I’m neither prudish nor traditional. I consider myself very sexually liberal and I love everything about sexuality, however there’s a catch which I think my Leo Mars is responsible for. I’ll state it in my final reply to everyone. @ Doux Rêve
I think you’re right about Pluto. The things I feel are definitely Plutonian… @ everyone
Thank you so much for your replies! From what I gathered I made some conclusions about myself. I think Mars is behind it (for the most part). It’s actually much more selfish and egocentric than it sounds. In fact sex is just an extension. I think it’s because of my big and fragile ego – when the sex is casual I automatically assume the other person doesn’t care about me. Leo Mars does not only want to be cared about but he wants to be adored. Also when I see the way some people treat their partners or when I read stories on the internet by anonymous people sharing their encounters I develop and even bigger cognitive distortion. Most of them express themselves in the likes of “Ohh, you should have seen that nasty sl*t I f*cked last night!”. The crudeness and disrespect aggravates my Leo Mars even more. And then Pluto (or all that Scorpio) comes along and says “Everybody thinks and acts this way. All casual sex is hateful!” And that is why I abhor it so much. If it’s not serious I automatically think it’s hateful, degrading and disrespectful.
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hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 4741
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted June 24, 2013 05:20 PM
quote:
Originally posted by meyray:
[b]@hannaramaa
I agree. I think it’s the Leo Mars and I think it has a lot more to do with my (sometimes inflated) sense of self-worth rather than how I perceive relationships. Although how I perceive relationships is a result of the former. [QUOTE]
Some people are people I don't want to emotionally get involved with for x reasons, but they are very sexy and physically attractive to me.
That’s something I personally can’t understand too. I can’t imagine being sexually attracted to a person who rubs me the wrong way. It just doesn’t compute in my mind. My though process is – How can I like a person I dislike? [/b][/quote] I understand where you're coming from too. Casual sex is a very self-oriented thing. You're literally DOING it for yourself and your own drives vs. any other reason. For example, this guy I know deals coke and has two different babies (within a close age range...) by two different baby mamas. His background screams instability hence I would not want to get involved with that, commit to it. But he's hot! I figure who would it harm if I had fun with him for the time being until either of us found something better suited. It's simply a less planned and traditional type of relationship... two things I could see Leo oriented people being very uncomfortable with. IP: Logged |
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