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Author Topic:   People who don't want the "in a relationship" label???
Kerosene
Knowflake

Posts: 8837
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012

posted February 05, 2014 04:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kerosene     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by next to neptune:
Yeah it is annoying, but then also…it's kinda relaxing to just "fit in" with the norms…sounds a bit boring maybe, but it's just easier to say "my boyfriend" than "eeehrm this guy that I'm seeing who has practically lived in my room for the last half year but doesn't really want to make a commitment" lol… it's a funny story, but that too gets a bit boring:P

Yeah idk Im laid back about stuff like that.

I don't really care too much..
We don't belong to anyone anyways,
We just come together for however amount of time it's meant to be.. but it's not like you can own another person. You can only share affection for one another. Again the key word is SHARE

So that's why labels are not important to me. We only use labels to define something for other people.
You both should just know what you are to each other.

Like our sexuality and gender. However some people do not define their gender or sexuality.

I call myself my bisexual because people want to know what I am and they need a label otherwise they won't understand.

So really you just ask him if he is serious about you.
Because all that matter is if he loves you. I mean if he loves you the label Girlfriend, wife, lover does not really matter,
right?.

SO YOUR REAL ISSUE IS??
do you love him?
because you can be all those things but it won't really matter if you're not in love... once you both realize you are in love than you'll just feel more secure.

If not thann well I guess you just need a lot of security in your life, imo is a crutch.

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Doux Rêve
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Registered: Dec 2010

posted February 05, 2014 04:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Doux Rêve     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by summerlite:
All his placements and aspect spell commitment issues. It's really never going to be defined unless you initiate the talk. If you initiate it, he might run. If you don't, he'll just let it drag on and one day if another interesting girl pops up, he isn't going to hold back because technically, you aren't his girlfriend.

My thoughts exactly...
Although, he may not stray or follow an "interesting girl" that easily. But yeah, don't expect him to be very responsible either.

I think the OP is in a "comfortable" position because they both have commitment fears so it kinda makes sense that they're both unwilling to talk about the status of their relationship. That way they avoid facing "the truth" (maybe it's like a protection mechanism).

But hey, next to neptune, hope you're not too affected by what's being said on here.
It's your life and you're the one in control!

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StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake

Posts: 7449
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012

posted February 05, 2014 04:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for StarlightSmileSupreme     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Back to the original post, it might have something to do with moon opposite Venus. Perhaps he has been hurt some in the past, emotionally, when he experienced love?

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Kerosene
Knowflake

Posts: 8837
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012

posted February 05, 2014 04:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kerosene     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
but if they have been living together for a year than how is it a commitment issue. LOL...
That's like a marriage lol.

People who have commitment issues are the types who casually see people and date other people at the same time.. all the time. Never allowing themselves to be so close to someone.

The issue is they are probably afraid.. I mean did you mention if you both confessed you true feelings? People think it's so easy to be in love but it can be scary.
I probably did not catch that? Im on my phone and I don't want to reread posts lol.
If he said he loves you than idkk... what do you really want?
Im sure you can just call yourself his girlfriend if you would like? He'll probably get use to it.
He probably thinks the word is lame or something.
Guys are least likely to follow such roles because they may feel it's so mushy or emasculating.

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StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake

Posts: 7449
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012

posted February 05, 2014 04:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for StarlightSmileSupreme     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Plus he tells her he loves her. That's an indication he is more than just casual. Maybe he just doesn't like cliches like "boyfriend" "girlfriend?" Or, maybe he wants more commitment than just that. Maybe he wants to go to fiancee/fiance?
Oh and I know air suns hate mushiness and will complain about it. So maybe it is a matter of looking mushy and maudlin?

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Kerosene
Knowflake

Posts: 8837
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012

posted February 05, 2014 04:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kerosene     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
yeah that's probably it.

I kinda like that thou.
because girlfriend and boyfriend is really childish.

HE TRYNA PUT A RING ON THAT!!!!!!!!!!

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Mercurian Intellect
Knowflake

Posts: 3041
From: Vulcan & Mercury. Yes, I was born on both planets, somehow.
Registered: Sep 2013

posted February 05, 2014 04:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mercurian Intellect     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
You seem really sweet and romantic, John. I hope you find "the one" someday

Aww, thanks, Starlight

I just noticed your post, lol.

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Kerosene
Knowflake

Posts: 8837
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012

posted February 05, 2014 04:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kerosene     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
People forget that uranians are very unconventional, they do things very differently

My dad has Sun-asc conjunct uranus and he just liked her and put ring on that and skipped the girlfriend-boyfriend part.

my s.o use with Venus square uranus exact (natal + synastry) use to talk about kidnapping me to an lake- island adopting bunch of kids and creating a cult and after we saw this one movie on lifetime and honestly like I can imagine him doing that.... I was like ohh... yeah right lol..
*note to self*- do not go on long trips to lakes.

Can you say doing all of that is a major commitment though? -___-

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StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake

Posts: 7449
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012

posted February 05, 2014 05:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for StarlightSmileSupreme     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I know from the OP the sun is conjunct solar ruler square Uranus opposite Moon. What about the chart ruler? That can give you insight into his personality. Like, if he has a sign like Aquarius rising, he could be kinda unconventional in some ways.

He should be romantic with Venus conjunct sun in Libra. Is he really social? Does he like having a lot of friends that are the opposite sex? That can be kinda annoying, heh.

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StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake

Posts: 7449
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012

posted February 05, 2014 05:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for StarlightSmileSupreme     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Kerosene:
I don't like word boyfriend or girlfriend. My friend that is a boy ? Cause the stuff we do most friends never even seen lol Way to go English. The word love is ******* overused. In German they have words for a passionate fling. I usually say hey this is ...... And I'm pretty sure anyone can see were together. If they ask I'm like yeah we're seeing each other. If I decided to be serious I call them s.o or lover depending on my mood. Rarely partner lol

Most the time people who date the same sex will not use the words "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" for some reason. I have noticed this. Sometimes they do, but not as much as other words like "lover."

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Kerosene
Knowflake

Posts: 8837
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012

posted February 05, 2014 05:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kerosene     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Libras are more about partnership actually.
Romance wise they do all the appropriate things but they are kinda cold like most air signs.
I was just seeing one recently..
Compared to being a pisces is was not the same.. it just seemed like following expectations....kinda lacked creativity.

Idk for op it could be he's just unsure.. too because that is a libra thing too.

The most romantic-idealistic person I've ever met was sun-moon conjunction in pisces.
I was like damnnn okay.
and Venus in pisces conjunct dsc too.

idk being with a pisces has just made me a lot more idealistic and romantic about things.
I have weird expectations now...

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incognito
Knowflake

Posts: 137
From:
Registered: Dec 2013

posted February 05, 2014 05:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for incognito     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
i agree with venus in aspect with uranus. Someone I am close to has this and is always telling me that she hates relationships and would rather be alone.

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StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake

Posts: 7449
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012

posted February 05, 2014 05:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for StarlightSmileSupreme     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by incognito:
i agree with venus in aspect with uranus. Someone I am close to has this and is always telling me that she hates relationships and would rather be alone.

I have the sextile between Uranus and Venus and both these planets are exceptionally strong in my chart and I can understand that. It's like you want to be social and alone at the same time. I think these aspects indicate anxiety.

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mercury89
Knowflake

Posts: 41
From: America
Registered: Nov 2013

posted February 05, 2014 06:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mercury89     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Venus sq/opp/conj Uranus
Venus in Aquarius or 11th
Uranus in Libra (generation)
7th ruler sq/opp/conj Uranus

Those are people who suffer aversion to commitment, because they see it as a loss of freedom. They are freedom lovers, and they like what they can't have so easy.

They go for partners that seem they don't need them, and that are independent because they feel that those kind of people will not put in danger their freedom.

This people enjoy chasing, what its difficult, and unpredictable.

If you want a relationship with someone who has one or more of this aspects, I recommend you to not be clingy at all, don't even speak about marriage, kids or commitment as a joke. Let them to be the one who speak about that first.

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Venusian Moon
Knowflake

Posts: 1531
From: Nyc
Registered: Feb 2013

posted February 06, 2014 12:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Venusian Moon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Uranus crap.

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Mercurian Intellect
Knowflake

Posts: 3041
From: Vulcan & Mercury. Yes, I was born on both planets, somehow.
Registered: Sep 2013

posted February 06, 2014 01:00 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mercurian Intellect     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Venusian Moon:
Uranus crap.

How concise...

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next to neptune
Knowflake

Posts: 895
From: Mercury
Registered: Aug 2013

posted February 06, 2014 01:04 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for next to neptune     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by mercury89:
Venus sq/opp/conj Uranus
Venus in Aquarius or 11th
Uranus in Libra (generation)
7th ruler sq/opp/conj Uranus

Those are people who suffer aversion to commitment, because they see it as a loss of freedom. They are freedom lovers, and they like what they can't have so easy.

They go for partners that seem they don't need them, and that are independent because they feel that those kind of people will not put in danger their freedom.

This people enjoy chasing, what its difficult, and unpredictable.

If you want a relationship with someone who has one or more of this aspects, I recommend you to not be clingy at all, don't even speak about marriage, kids or commitment as a joke. Let them to be the one who speak about that first.


Haha that is me…I feel like the guy in our relationship practically, cause I'm the one who is taking an education, and also in our sun-moon opposition, I'm the sun…

And the issue is also that I don't really have time to be in a relationship anyways, cause I'm always too busy making other stuff, so that is perfect for me if he is very social (and he is) and is having a lot of friends!

I've never really heard him talk about any girls he knew or anything…only a lesbian girl he knows who lives in berlin:S

It could either mean that he has them, and is not telling me about them (not to make me jealous) or they don't mean so much in his life… I would prefer he talked about them though, I'm sometimes telling him about my guy-friends just to let him know that it's OK to have friends from the opposite sex….life would be extremely boring without them!

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next to neptune
Knowflake

Posts: 895
From: Mercury
Registered: Aug 2013

posted February 06, 2014 01:09 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for next to neptune     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
I have the sextile between Uranus and Venus and both these planets are exceptionally strong in my chart and I can understand that. It's like you want to be social and alone at the same time. I think these aspects indicate anxiety.

Me too, uranus is strong in my chart but not venus… but I can feel it! If I have been with the same person for a week I get tired of them and want to sleep alone for some days…

But I think also my pisces moon needs time to be alone and reload everything once in a while!

He also got a pisces moon which is really nice, cause then he can relate to that…
I wish I knew his TOB, cause it would explain so much if I just knew the exact time, but I can only guess!

If someone knows a VERY smart way to ask his birth time without revealing anything about astrology, come with it please!

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Mercurian Intellect
Knowflake

Posts: 3041
From: Vulcan & Mercury. Yes, I was born on both planets, somehow.
Registered: Sep 2013

posted February 06, 2014 01:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mercurian Intellect     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by next to neptune:

If someone knows a VERY smart way to ask his birth time without revealing anything about astrology, come with it please!


Make up a weird story about how your mother looked at the clock or something when she was giving birth to you, and say the time was a weird time like 9:11, just so it gives reason as to why you brought it up. But before that, I think you should mention something about how bad the disaster of 9/11 was and that you feel so bad and stuff. As to why you brought 9/11 up is because you heard people talking about it the other day and now you just thought about it. As to why you thought about bringing it into a discussion with him, is because you wanted to know if he knew anyone that was in New York at the time, and say that you knew someone who was in New York at that time, but he/she is safe and stuff.
Then after you mention the 9:11 birth time thing, ask him what was his time of birth. (and laugh)

I doubt he will make a big thing out of this and even go as far as think about why you're mentioning this anyway.
Is he a Virgo?

I wouldn't say this is smart, as there is probably a MUCH easier way, but it's kinda different.

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next to neptune
Knowflake

Posts: 895
From: Mercury
Registered: Aug 2013

posted February 06, 2014 01:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for next to neptune     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Kerosene:
Yeah idk Im laid back about stuff like that.

I don't really care too much..
We don't belong to anyone anyways,
We just come together for however amount of time it's meant to be.. but it's not like you can own another person. You can only share affection for one another. Again the key word is SHARE

So that's why labels are not important to me. We only use labels to define something for other people.
You both should just know what you are to each other.

Like our sexuality and gender. However some people do not define their gender or sexuality.

I call myself my bisexual because people want to know what I am and they need a label otherwise they won't understand.

So really you just ask him if he is serious about you.
Because all that matter is if he loves you. I mean if he loves you the label Girlfriend, wife, lover does not really matter,
right?.

SO YOUR REAL ISSUE IS??
do you love him?
because you can be all those things but it won't really matter if you're not in love... once you both realize you are in love than you'll just feel more secure.

If not thann well I guess you just need a lot of security in your life, imo is a crutch.


You sound just like him actually haha… I think he is unconventional like that, and he doesn't seem like he has any "ownership" feelings at all…
I think it's also right to be that way, but it's always a dilemma because of my stupid scorpio venus! But I can control that, and we doesn't have any mars or pluto squares, so there is practically nothing that would cause us both to be jealous

None of us is plutonian in the natal either, or has any pluto squares in fact!

Actually I just love him very much, even though I'm a bit afraid, but that is mostly just because he got so much air in his chart and I'm just water/earth!

But if he is charming and says the right things?:P What do you expect from a libra sun+venus guy haha!:P He is like heaven on earth with all those compliments, it's almost too much. I had to tell him to stop it a little, cause he was saying "I love you" everyday and "your sweet/beautiful" all the time, and to me it's a bit bigger to say "I love you", and it shouldn't be said ALL the time lol….it loses it's value, and the excitement about saying it gets lost in my opinion

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next to neptune
Knowflake

Posts: 895
From: Mercury
Registered: Aug 2013

posted February 06, 2014 01:28 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for next to neptune     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Mercurian Intellect:
Make up a weird story about how your mother looked at the clock or something when she was giving birth to you, and say the time was a weird time like 9:11, just so it gives reason as to why you brought it up. But before that, I think you should mention something about how bad the disaster of 9/11 was and that you feel so bad and stuff. As to why you brought 9/11 up is because you heard people talking about it the other day and now you just thought about it. As to why you thought about bringing it into a discussion with him, is because you wanted to know if he knew anyone that was in New York at the time, and say that you knew someone who was in New York at that time, but he/she is safe and stuff.
Then after you mention the 9:11 birth time thing, ask him what was his time of birth. (and laugh)

I doubt he will make a big thing out of this and even go as far as think about why you're mentioning this anyway.
Is he a Virgo?

I wouldn't say this is smart, as there is probably a MUCH easier way, but it's kinda different.


Hahaha I think he would think I was going crazy if I said all that about 9/11:P I'm not from the states, so though it was a huge thing over here, it's more like…what really happened at 9/11? Was it the government lol

But no he is a libra (virgo mercury though) and I'm virgo with libra mercury, so it's a tight double whammy conjunction:P

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StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake

Posts: 7449
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012

posted February 06, 2014 01:32 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for StarlightSmileSupreme     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by next to neptune:
Me too, uranus is strong in my chart but not venus… but I can feel it! If I have been with the same person for a week I get tired of them and want to sleep alone for some days…

But I think also my pisces moon needs time to be alone and reload everything once in a while!

He also got a pisces moon which is really nice, cause then he can relate to that…
I wish I knew his TOB, cause it would explain so much if I just knew the exact time, but I can only guess!

If someone knows a VERY smart way to ask his birth time without revealing anything about astrology, come with it please!



My friends tried this with me and it worked, sometimes, until I figured out what they were doing, then I would purposely change the subject just to prove how contrary I can be .
I notice if I start talking about certain subjects people will clam up, especially online purchases, lol. They act like they expect me to ask them to get me something but I would never be that rude. I am just making casual conversation about something in my life, small talk.
What works sometimes is just start talking about the time you were born. People sometimes chime in and reveal the time of day they were born so they can include themselves in your story and share something personal. Just start talking and reveal a funny anecdote about the day you were born, a story a relative told you, then casually mention, "all this and it was 1:30 in the morning," or something similar and if he doesn't say something like, "oh really, I was born at 3:00 am," you can ask, "were you born in the middle of the night too?" Try to gradually get more specific in casual conversation (it's Libran influenced finessing the situation.) Or, whenever it was. You will have to customize this to fit your needs since I don't know your birth time. This is just an example I thought of at the moment

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Mercurian Intellect
Knowflake

Posts: 3041
From: Vulcan & Mercury. Yes, I was born on both planets, somehow.
Registered: Sep 2013

posted February 06, 2014 01:33 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mercurian Intellect     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by next to neptune:
Hahaha I think he would think I was going crazy if I said all that about 9/11:P I'm not from the states, so though it was a huge thing over here, it's more like…what really happened at 9/11? Was it the government lol

But no he is a libra (virgo mercury though) and I'm virgo with libra mercury, so it's a tight double whammy conjunction:P


Well as I said, you're mentioning it because you knew someone that was in New York at the time.

Wait, that actually depends on how old you are, because you could of then been too young to know someone in New York unless it was a family member or something, lol.

And I was jk with asking if he was a Virgo.

I doubt it would be weird. And I would do this if I felt awkward about asking people their birth time.

But in reality, I guarantee you that he will not know his birth time anyway, lol. (especially exact time)
Hardly anyone really does. I believe I got lucky with my Mother knowing mine.

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Mercurian Intellect
Knowflake

Posts: 3041
From: Vulcan & Mercury. Yes, I was born on both planets, somehow.
Registered: Sep 2013

posted February 06, 2014 01:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mercurian Intellect     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:

My friends tried this with me and it worked, sometimes, until I figured out what they were doing, then I would purposely change the subject just to prove how contrary I can be .
I notice if I start talking about certain subjects people will clam up, especially online purchases, lol. They act like they expect me to ask them to get me something but I would never be that rude. I am just making casual conversation about something in my life, small talk.
What works sometimes is just start talking about the time you were born. People sometimes chime in and reveal the time of day they were born so they can include themselves in your story and share something personal. Just start talking and reveal a funny anecdote about the day you were born, a story a relative told you, then casually mention, "all this and it was 1:30 in the morning," or something similar and if he doesn't say something like, "oh really, I was born at 3:00 am," you can ask, "were you born in the middle of the night too?" Try to gradually get more specific in casual conversation (it's Libran influenced finessing the situation.) Or, whenever it was. You will have to customize this to fit your needs since I don't know your birth time. This is just an example I thought of at the moment

Wow, Starlight, that's pretty good, too

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Mercurian Intellect
Knowflake

Posts: 3041
From: Vulcan & Mercury. Yes, I was born on both planets, somehow.
Registered: Sep 2013

posted February 06, 2014 01:41 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mercurian Intellect     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I wonder how a Libra with a Virgo Mercury would be, personally. I never met one. All the Libras had Libra Mercuries, some Scorpio. (my father was a Libra with a Scorpio Mercury)

I already know how Virgos with Libra Mercuries are (Me! ) so it would be quite interesting to see the reverse of that.

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