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Author
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Topic: People who don't want the "in a relationship" label???
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next to neptune
Knowflake Posts: 895
From: Mercury
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted February 04, 2014 05:49 PM
  
Soon I've been dating my guy for a half year… in my book it's a very long time, and I usually call him my "boyfriend", cause it's so much easier this way. But in fact we have never really talked about it. It seems like he loves me (he says this to me a lot) but doesn't really wan't the label, or to define what we are. I just think it's getting a bit annoying, but I don't wan't to be disappointed. The guy is a libra sun conjunct libra venus and gemini mars square his pisces moon. He also got a jupiter leo sextile his sun and virgo mercury conjunct venus but opposition moon. His venus is 0-1 degree libra and square his capricorn uranus.
He has sun square neptune and uranus by only 2-3 degrees. I just wondered if his aspects has something to do with it? Maybe uranus?
He doesn't really have any saturn or pluto aspect besides moon sextile saturn and moon trine pluto. Though our synastry is heavy loaded with saturn, uranus and neptune! Is there anything in the natal chart or synastry that you think indicates this?
I'd gladly upload his chart or our synastry, if anyone is interested IP: Logged |
iliketurtles
Knowflake Posts: 270
From: 2099
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted February 04, 2014 06:12 PM
that venus-uranus square looks ominous..any harsh uranus aspect really, perhaps he finds the relationship title backward or too traditional? it could be just in him to reject that kind of label it might seem too restricting for him.hm libra sun conjunct libra venus - he must be hella pretty  lucky you! IP: Logged |
summerlite
Knowflake Posts: 944
From:
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted February 04, 2014 06:37 PM
quote:
Originally posted by next to neptune:
The guy is a libra sun conjunct libra venus and gemini mars square his pisces moon.
fickle minded placements.
IP: Logged |
NeptunianSag
Knowflake Posts: 510
From: Your imagination
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted February 05, 2014 02:19 AM
I have Venus in aqua, mars opp Uranus + Neptune. I usually say I don't want a relationship is when I know it will be a predictable one that has rules so to speak. I need surprises, excitement, freedom, and then I'll be loyal forever. IP: Logged |
MorpHnStorM
Knowflake Posts: 91
From:
Registered: Oct 2013
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posted February 05, 2014 02:53 AM
quote:
Originally posted by next to neptune:
Soon I've been dating my guy for a half year… in my book it's a very long time, and I usually call him my "boyfriend", cause it's so much easier this way. But in fact we have never really talked about it. It seems like he loves me (he says this to me a lot) but doesn't really wan't the label, or to define what we are.
A Libra Venus squ. Uranus
A Libra Sun squ. Uranus
A Libra Sun squ. Neptune
and a Pisces Moon squ. a Gem Mars... That looks like one restless soul... Sorry, but between this ^ and what you've said about him, it doesn't look good for anything serious (regardless of what the synastry looks like)...
IP: Logged |
next to neptune
Knowflake Posts: 895
From: Mercury
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted February 05, 2014 03:48 AM
quote:
Originally posted by MorpHnStorM:
A Libra Venus squ. Uranus
A Libra Sun squ. Uranus
A Libra Sun squ. Neptune
and a Pisces Moon squ. a Gem Mars...That looks like one restless soul... Sorry, but between this ^ and what you've said about him, it doesn't look good for anything serious (regardless of what the synastry looks like)...
Aww…that's a shame, but you're probably right! I have a lot uranus going on in my own chart though…. I have moon and mars square uranus pretty tight (and pisces moon too) and my scorpio venus sextile uranus… the one thing I'm a bit afraid of though, is that he one day just disappears if we have a conflict….you cannot have a relationship without having a conflict at some point, but do you think he would be the typical libra and just run of? IP: Logged |
next to neptune
Knowflake Posts: 895
From: Mercury
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted February 05, 2014 04:25 AM
quote:
Originally posted by iliketurtles:
hm libra sun conjunct libra venus - he must be hella pretty lucky you!
Yup he is really cute looking, but not the traditional "playboy" look, and it's not like any "adonis" look… but what makes him charming is that he is extremely sweet and a "good guy"!  I think it must be his pisces moon… also, he isn't the type of guy who likes to go to parties, actually he almost doesn't drink alcohol and he doesn't smoke…he is not especially flirtatious either lol, I remember the day I met him, he was extremely shy and very awkward lol..but in the sweet way:P IP: Logged |
AriesLilith
Knowflake Posts: 582
From:
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted February 05, 2014 06:02 AM
Wow all those aspects spells freedom and excitement loving in his chart. Maybe you are attracted to this type of guy since you have Mars square Uranus lol.Maybe you can post the composite to see if there are signs of commitment or freedom? Feeling that the guy might someday disappear is a scary feeling! But if he really makes you feel that way, then you might need to ponder if this is what you really want.  It can mean that he would be either immature, or simply not able to form stable deeper bonds, or that the bond between you two is not strong enough. In the composite, if Uranus is too strong then it can be very exciting, but this excitement might not fit in the routine part of commitment; on the other hand, Jupiter and Saturn can bring a sense of commitment and stability. Look for aspects to/between midpoints too.
Also, watch out for Neptune hard aspects that can add some fog and confusion about the true nature of the relationship. IP: Logged |
next to neptune
Knowflake Posts: 895
From: Mercury
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted February 05, 2014 06:21 AM
quote:
Originally posted by AriesLilith:
Wow all those aspects spells freedom and excitement loving in his chart. Maybe you are attracted to this type of guy since you have Mars square Uranus lol.Maybe you can post the composite to see if there are signs of commitment or freedom? Feeling that the guy might someday disappear is a scary feeling! But if he really makes you feel that way, then you might need to ponder if this is what you really want. It can mean that he would be either immature, or simply not able to form stable deeper bonds, or that the bond between you two is not strong enough. In the composite, if Uranus is too strong then it can be very exciting, but this excitement might not fit in the routine part of commitment; on the other hand, Jupiter and Saturn can bring a sense of commitment and stability. Look for aspects to/between midpoints too.
Also, watch out for Neptune hard aspects that can add some fog and confusion about the true nature of the relationship.
Yeah, it's like I always attract those guys… also I have juno and 5th house in libra so I just feel like…it has to be a libra I would end up with:P And my juno is exactly conjunct his sun almost:S It's like he is everything I ever wanted… Here is our composite:
 I have to add that in our synastry we have sun square saturn and neptune, and venus square neptune and uranus:P But in our synastry we also have some really nice aspects (conjunctions)
as venus-sun, venus-mercury, venus-mars and sun-mercury IP: Logged |
charlie
Knowflake Posts: 1501
From: los angeles, ca, USA
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted February 05, 2014 06:38 AM
Venus in Cancer sq Uranus in Scorpio here and I go along spiffily, usually, until I hear the words "and this is my girlfriend, Charlie"...-rubber marks in asphalt and the frozen Deer Look on my face....heartpalpitations might ensue and I know I will be weary of signs of obsession/possession from then on. I know this is so silly but I am freedom personified. IP: Logged |
next to neptune
Knowflake Posts: 895
From: Mercury
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted February 05, 2014 06:44 AM
quote:
Originally posted by charlie:
Venus in Cancer sq Uranus in Scorpio here and I go along spiffily, usually, until I here the words "and this is my girlfriend, Charlie"...-rubber marks in asphalt and the frozen Deer Look on my face....heartpalpitations might ensue and I know I will be weary of signs of obsession/possession from then on. I know this is so silly but I am freedom personified.
Haha, I think this is exactly how he might feels about it… But I have this tendency too, I feel (especially since I'm only 24) that the moment I call a guy my boyfriend, it's over between us, cause someday we will break up….and I also think I can be really possessive in a committed relationship because of my scorpio venus conjunction pluto! But still I like to feel secure with the commitment…just to know that he cannot just disappear one day, at least without telling me first….dont know why I have that fear, maybe because it's an unpredictable move that fits uranus squares!
IP: Logged |
charlie
Knowflake Posts: 1501
From: los angeles, ca, USA
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted February 05, 2014 06:49 AM
quote:
Originally posted by next to neptune:
Haha, I think this is exactly how he might feels about it…But I have this tendency too, I feel (especially since I'm only 24) that the moment I call a guy my boyfriend, it's over between us, cause someday we will break up….and I also think I can be really possessive in a committed relationship because of my scorpio venus conjunction pluto! But still I like to feel secure with the commitment…just to know that he cannot just disappear one day, at least without telling me first….dont know why I have that fear, maybe because it's an unpredictable move that fits uranus squares!
I just want to say that I edited one "here" to "hear "because that mistake made me nauseous!!
IP: Logged |
I'm so cappy
Knowflake Posts: 4558
From: Saturn (summer house on Chiron)
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted February 05, 2014 07:18 AM
Ugh, this is so childish. Maybe first ask him if you are in a committed relationship? Demand a clear and honest question. If he says yes (he better does), then it would be good to ask why the hell calling him a boyfriend irks him so much. Be firm and direct. If you want commitment and he doesn't pass this "interrogation", I'm afraid you should drop him like a hot potato. Unless you like drama...------------------
I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy. IP: Logged |
next to neptune
Knowflake Posts: 895
From: Mercury
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted February 05, 2014 07:28 AM
quote:
Originally posted by I'm so cappy:
Ugh, this is so childish. Maybe first ask him if you are in a committed relationship? Demand a clear and honest question. If he says yes (he better does), then it would be good to ask why the hell calling him a boyfriend irks him so much. Be firm and direct. If you want commitment and he doesn't pass this "interrogation", I'm afraid you should drop him like a hot potato. Unless you like drama...
You are probably right, but I'm getting nervous just thinking about such a conversation… I think I know that he won't have me as a girlfriend, so the moment I ask him about it he'll most likely dump me lol…
In order to stay with him I probably just gotta take myself together and not have this conversation, or else I'm just gonna make drama as you said:P (but my scorpio venus want's this dramaaaa, god I hate having a scorpio venus!) IP: Logged |
I'm so cappy
Knowflake Posts: 4558
From: Saturn (summer house on Chiron)
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted February 05, 2014 07:45 AM
quote:
or else I'm just gonna make drama as you said:P
Oh yeah, keep playing dumb ^^ I can understand your fear of losing him but this uncertainty will slowly eat you up inside. If bringing up that subject made him dump you, I'd say - good riddance. Maybe he doesn't lie about his feelings for you but if he's not ready for/capable of a serious relationship, then what's the point? Your heart will be broken sooner or later. And the later, the worse.------------------
I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy. IP: Logged |
AriesLilith
Knowflake Posts: 582
From:
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted February 05, 2014 10:57 AM
Ah, there they are! Sun/Mercury tightly square Uranus, and Saturn/Neptune square Venus... Sun/Mercury square Uranus can show that this relationship is very exciting, but the way it is might not fit into the frame of a traditional committed relationship.
Saturn square Venus can show coldness or distance at times; affectionate Venus might want to bond and connect, but Saturn would sometimes turn his back on her and be cold and critical, becoming a cold water to Venus' affection. Saturn conjunct Neptune can bring some element of fog here - this guy might not be easy to read, and stability might not be clear in the picture that one might not know what to expect.
Moon is forming a grand trine with Pluto and Jupiter, and Venus is square Jupiter. When you are together you have fun times, and then there is some sensitive emotional connection. This can also show that you have more desire of commitment than him.
But Moon is in the 12th house, which can make emotions not clear or obvious, at times passive. This can show potential for emotionally getting each other intuitively, but then it is not clear in terms of what each other really is feeling.IP: Logged |
next to neptune
Knowflake Posts: 895
From: Mercury
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted February 05, 2014 11:19 AM
quote:
Originally posted by AriesLilith:
Ah, there they are! Sun/Mercury tightly square Uranus, and Saturn/Neptune square Venus... Sun/Mercury square Uranus can show that this relationship is very exciting, but the way it is might not fit into the frame of a traditional committed relationship.
Saturn square Venus can show coldness or distance at times; affectionate Venus might want to bond and connect, but Saturn would sometimes turn his back on her and be cold and critical, becoming a cold water to Venus' affection. Saturn conjunct Neptune can bring some element of fog here - this guy might not be easy to read, and stability might not be clear in the picture that one might not know what to expect.
Moon is forming a grand trine with Pluto and Jupiter, and Venus is square Jupiter. When you are together you have fun times, and then there is some sensitive emotional connection. This can also show that you have more desire of commitment than him.
But Moon is in the 12th house, which can make emotions not clear or obvious, at times passive. This can show potential for emotionally getting each other intuitively, but then it is not clear in terms of what each other really is feeling.
I don't know his TOB, so the houses might not fit… And I think our composite sux compared to our synastry IP: Logged |
next to neptune
Knowflake Posts: 895
From: Mercury
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted February 05, 2014 11:25 AM
quote:
Originally posted by I'm so cappy:
[QUOTE]or else I'm just gonna make drama as you said:P
Oh yeah, keep playing dumb ^^ I can understand your fear of losing him but this uncertainty will slowly eat you up inside. If bringing up that subject made him dump you, I'd say - good riddance. Maybe he doesn't lie about his feelings for you but if he's not ready for/capable of a serious relationship, then what's the point? Your heart will be broken sooner or later. And the later, the worse.[/QUOTE] I can sense your cap way of handling this… I'm also cap dominated myself and has saturn prominent in my chart…so I can understand the urge to just make things clear about us, and define what we are, and if it's not what I want, then just get rid of things that isn't beneficial for me in long-term… but right in the moment here and NOW, we are having a good time, so that is what matters most to me… so if that means I'm gonna get hurt later on, it's ok, because we have a great time ATM… I sense that he is either afraid of the word/label, but not the commitment, or he is afraid of commitment itself and doesn't want to go there…
I happen to know that he has been in a real relationship before, but that didn't go well, so I suspect that he doesn't want to rush into a new one and make another mistake…
And to be in a relationship is a mistake for us uranian types…it's better just to live free from commitment and just have a nice time lol… as long as I still believe in that:P IP: Logged |
I'm so cappy
Knowflake Posts: 4558
From: Saturn (summer house on Chiron)
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted February 05, 2014 11:35 AM
I see. Good luck.------------------
I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy. IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 8837
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted February 05, 2014 11:40 AM
I don't like word boyfriend or girlfriend. My friend that is a boy ? Cause the stuff we do most friends never even seen lol Way to go English. The word love is ******* overused. In German they have words for a passionate fling. I usually say hey this is ...... And I'm pretty sure anyone can see were together. If they ask I'm like yeah we're seeing each other. If I decided to be serious I call them s.o or lover depending on my mood. Rarely partner lolIP: Logged |
next to neptune
Knowflake Posts: 895
From: Mercury
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted February 05, 2014 11:44 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Kerosene:
I don't like word boyfriend or girlfriend. My friend that is a boy ? Cause the stuff we do most friends never even seen lol Way to go English. The word love is ******* overused. In German they have words for a passionate fling. I usually say hey this is ...... And I'm pretty sure anyone can see were together. If they ask I'm like yeah we're seeing each other. If I decided to be serious I call them s.o or lover depending on my mood. Rarely partner lol
Haha priceless!! <3 I think I'm gonna follow your example, and create a new word to define what we are…he's a gemini mars and virgo mercury, so that is a perfect task for us both:P IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 8837
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted February 05, 2014 11:50 AM
Lol one time I was like you should introduce me to your friends as your bottom b*tch. You can tell I don't take societal expectations of relationship seriously .Because the people who take it so seriously annoy everyone else too. Am I right? Hi this is my girlfriend and we've dating 1 month and desperately in love. Uhhhhh horny yaaaas IP: Logged |
next to neptune
Knowflake Posts: 895
From: Mercury
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted February 05, 2014 01:20 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Kerosene:
Lol one time I was like you should introduce me to your friends as your bottom b*tch. You can tell I don't take societal expectations of relationship seriously .Because the people who take it so seriously annoy everyone else too. Am I right? Hi this is my girlfriend and we've dating 1 month and desperately in love. Uhhhhh horny yaaaas
Yeah it is annoying, but then also…it's kinda relaxing to just "fit in" with the norms…sounds a bit boring maybe, but it's just easier to say "my boyfriend" than "eeehrm this guy that I'm seeing who has practically lived in my room for the last half year but doesn't really want to make a commitment" lol… it's a funny story, but that too gets a bit boring:P IP: Logged |
AriesLilith
Knowflake Posts: 582
From:
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted February 05, 2014 01:38 PM
I think that it's more of an "each to their own" kind of thing, when it comes to relationship labels.Thought IMO, the lack of labels can sometimes be confusing. Sure, we can be seeing each other, but what are we to each other really? We might as well be seeing each other and other people too, yet without being able to read minds we can't really know what each other's expectations are, unless by talking about them. And it's not even for others, it's more for the couple itself. Also, why do we need to demonstrate affections? Why do we need express things through words? Why wouldn't simply being in love with each other be enough? Well it can be enough for some, but for others, actions and words as well as definitions and talks are part of communication and expression, and interaction between the couple. IP: Logged |
AriesLilith
Knowflake Posts: 582
From:
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted February 05, 2014 01:41 PM
quote:
Originally posted by next to neptune:
Yeah it is annoying, but then also…it's kinda relaxing to just "fit in" with the norms…sounds a bit boring maybe, but it's just easier to say "my boyfriend" than "eeehrm this guy that I'm seeing who has practically lived in my room for the last half year but doesn't really want to make a commitment" lol… it's a funny story, but that too gets a bit boring:P
Even if we say "this is my guy", this would still be as much of a label as "this is my bf" lol. We will always need to label things, without a name how do we even talk about what they describe in a conversation lol. IP: Logged |
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