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Author Topic:   bad synastry but happy together?
geminigal2805
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posted April 21, 2014 03:23 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for geminigal2805     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi : ))
Do u know any couple with bad synastry still they are happily married? Or great synastry but the couple are not together?
I'm asking cuz the synastry I have with my husband doesn't look great. In fact my sun is hardly aspected. N my red lines. I did have a fall out with him last yr but we are together. Since 2007. I'm kinda worried now. Sometimes I do behave like a maniac n tell him I will go away. But he refuses to let me go. N I really don't wanna go. Am I a psycho or what??

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LucieLemonade
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posted April 21, 2014 04:12 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for LucieLemonade     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My x and I don't have great synastry. We don't have any of those special very good aspects everyone talks about and we have tons of squares and oppositions.

But we were very happy together from 15 years. He's a great guy.

Of course, it did eventually end. Not in a bad way. It just ran it's course and Saturn came in and blew it all up.

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geminigal2805
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posted April 21, 2014 04:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for geminigal2805     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Awww Lucie Lemonade : ) Saturn aspects? OMG my Saturn sits on his descendant : (
We also don't have any of those cute lovey dovey aspects. King of cups did a short reading n said it's not long term n then I told him I'm already married to the guy. Rofl! Actually we r happy together with those occasional crappy behaviour from my side.

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manderin
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posted April 21, 2014 09:29 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for manderin     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
"great synastry" and "bad synastry" are somewhat vague terms. I've seen disagreements on here on what is considered a bad or good synastry chart so you might need more specifics to know your answer.

You see a synastry with lots of Saturn squares will likely last... but it will last despite it causing much misery in the relationship. So "lasting" is not the same as good. In fact you can have a so called good synastry with NO saturn aspects and that relationship will not likely last at all. For a "lasting" synastry you look to saturn. For a nurturing & emotional synastry you look to moon. For sexual you look to mars and venus. For intellectual synastry you look to merc. The SUn is arguably the most important planet in synastry as it lights up whatever house it's in, but sun will not bring longevity- only Saturn does that.

Then there is also the circumstances of the relationship. You can have a great 10 year relationship with someone you don't have the best synastry with, but then when you decide to live with that person, suddenly it doesn't work. Living with someone brings out a lot in the synastry that you wouldn't have seen otherwise.

There are a couple of long lasting celebrity couples that SEEM to have bad synastry, but I don't count those because having been involved in the production business myself I happen to know that a lot of the date of births of actors- especially those of actresses are just plain lies. There are actors I went to school with- a couple of whom became quite famous- who were the same age as me in school, but now when I go to IMBD.com suddenly that person is now 6-9 years younger in age. Hollywood is full of agism especially towards females so actors and musicians make themselves younger- even by only a few months if that's all they can away with. And yet astrologers use that fake birth info in their attempts to do readings on these celebs. Therefore- I do not trust the vast majority of celebrity birth data.

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Yanmorg
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posted April 21, 2014 09:55 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Plus, you also have to consider the composite chart which is the relationship as a whole. The synastry chart is just how you make each other feel, but the composite chart shows the relationship as separate. For example, the relationship with my first love lasted 7 years even though he cheated multiple times and once I got down to it, I was completely unhappy. Being that our Sun, Moon, Mercury, and Venus in our composite chart squared Saturn, ti was hard to let go even though I was miserable. After the first 3 years, I was unhappy but madly in love.

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Desiring Shadows
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posted April 21, 2014 12:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Desiring Shadows     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Astrology puts ideas into your head and can ruin something great. Astrology should be used when you're having problems and need suggestions or ideas...But in all honestly wehn I first started studying Astrology it told me how my mom and I had a terrible relationship so I begna acting out as if our relationship was terrible and there became complications..But all aside I now have a wonderful relationship with my mom... I love her to death and have stopped following astrology religiously. You should put it down if your questioning your already happy relationship. SERIOUSLY.

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PlutoSurvivor
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posted April 21, 2014 01:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PlutoSurvivor     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
2nd house composite will tell you what is keeping you together.

Knowing yourself is more important than your synastry. Bringing others into your life may help you know yourself or test what you know about yourself or verify what you know about yourself. The more fully you know yourself, the more fully you can relate to others, thus more fully determine how the synastry plays out.

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LucieLemonade
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posted April 21, 2014 02:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LucieLemonade     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by geminigal2805:
Awww Lucie Lemonade : ) Saturn aspects? OMG my Saturn sits on his descendant : (
We also don't have any of those cute lovey dovey aspects. King of cups did a short reading n said it's not long term n then I told him I'm already married to the guy. Rofl! Actually we r happy together with those occasional crappy behaviour from my side.

We have Saturn conj Saturn, in the 7th, we both got hit with our transit Saturn opposing our natal Saturns and crossing our Asc at pretty much the same time.

I have also been told that we weren't a long term thing and that I'd probably not get married till I was like old, that I'd have horrible relationships, that I'd stay in bad relationships :eyeroll:. We were married 12 of the 15 yrs, we had (have!) a great relationship and he is still a great friend. We are just headed in different directions as part of our life path.

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geminigal2805
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posted April 21, 2014 02:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for geminigal2805     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Great replies!
I do think we tend to look back with tender feelings towards those who go away from us n critise the one who sticks around.
My composite chart with my husband isn't all that good either. Sun, mercury and venus together in the 12th house. I think we have the dreaded Uranus mars hard aspect. Need to check. Scaryyyyy. Well I'm happy with him and he said he is happy too. He means the world to me.

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geminigal2805
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posted April 21, 2014 02:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for geminigal2805     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by LucieLemonade:
We have Saturn conj Saturn, in the 7th, we both got hit with our transit Saturn opposing our natal Saturns and crossing our Asc at pretty much the same time.

I have also been told that we weren't a long term thing and that I'd probably not get married till I was like old, that I'd have horrible relationships, that I'd stay in bad relationships :eyeroll:. We were married 12 of the 15 yrs, we had (have!) a great relationship and he is still a great friend. We are just headed in different directions as part of our life path.



Those mean transits grrr! I'm sure it must have been extremely hard on both of u during that time. At least u guys are still good friends.
I don't even wanna think what would happen when transit Saturn hits my natal Saturn(conjunct my IC n vertex) conjuct his desc. That would oppose his Asc, sun n mercury. Phew!

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geminigal2805
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posted April 21, 2014 03:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for geminigal2805     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by PlutoSurvivor:
2nd house composite will tell you what is keeping you together.

Knowing yourself is more important than your synastry. Bringing others into your life may help you know yourself or test what you know about yourself or verify what you know about yourself. The more fully you know yourself, the more fully you can relate to others, thus more fully determine how the synastry plays out.


Pluto survivor what do u mean by second house composite? Planets in the second house of our composite chart? I'm trying to understand.
I'm a Gemini. Work in progress. Its gonna take me yrs to understand me.only to change again. No kidding.

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geminigal2805
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posted April 21, 2014 03:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for geminigal2805     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Composite has moon In cancer in the second house.

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geminigal2805
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posted April 21, 2014 03:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for geminigal2805     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
[IMG]http://i895.photobucket.com/albums/ac153/geminigal2805/astro_ 621gw_01_03_b_vp6871257582-1_zps1158a406.png[/IMG]

Our composite chart link.

[IMG]http://i895.photobucket.com/albums/ac153/geminigal2805/astro_6 1gw_01_03_b_vp5321828539-1_zps856b86d3.png[/IMG]
Synastry link.

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LucieLemonade
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posted April 21, 2014 03:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LucieLemonade     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by geminigal2805:

Those mean transits grrr! I'm sure it must have been extremely hard on both of u during that time. At least u guys are still good friends.
I don't even wanna think what would happen when transit Saturn hits my natal Saturn(conjunct my IC n vertex) conjuct his desc. That would oppose his Asc, sun n mercury. Phew!

I know right! The biggest problem I think was that we had a BIG Saturn moment at the same time. I imagine if you have them at different times one of you can help the other and vice versa.

Ah well. I miss him as he was my bestie as well. I got to hope there is a lesson in this for me (well, there is!) and hopefully new lessons ahead!

Anyway, don't worry so much about the synastry. Maybe keep something in mind but don't go overboard. TBH, I'm glad I only started looking into it after we had already been broken up. I would have worried about stuff for nothing.


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manderin
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posted April 21, 2014 06:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for manderin     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by PlutoSurvivor:

Knowing yourself is more important than your synastry.


Totally agree! However even so I don't like to encourage people with terrible synastry to go for it. I don't believe that relationships need to be hard. If a relationship is THAT hard then what is the point of being in it? That's why Saturn squares are tricky. They make you want to stay and work on a relationship that's not worth all that misery and work when you could be using that time towards finding a more suitable partner.

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Ceridwen
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posted April 21, 2014 06:21 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I need heavy Saturn-aspects. Even in friendships, they are invariably there, and those are the frienships that last the longest. I don`t experience it as "misery" though; it is sometimes exhausting, cause these relationships demand a lot of self-honesty, but at the same time it is a deeply fulfilling thing as well.

So give me those squares, oppositions, conjunctions, inconjuncts to Sun or Moon - I take them gladly. Without them chances are I donīt find any good reason to stay.

I suppose that is where people are different. Yes, I get it, it is called heavy or bad synastry, but in terms of my luminaries I need those and find them very worthwhile (maybe cause my Moon is exactly inconjunct Saturn).


However, keep those Saturn-aspects away from my Mars, Neptune, NN or ASC. They are so draining and depressing!
(my Mars, Neptune, NN and ASC are in Sagittarius, conjunct each other and square Jupiter - they certainly do not like some heavy Saturn pressing them down, and actually the hars Saturn-transits to these points are much more depressing and painful than anything Tr Pluto ever did to me - and he was transiting all my personal planets, starting with a square to Moon-, more depressing than a Saturn-transit to my Sun or Moon, though the square to Sun was REALLY harsh; Saturn to Moon was surprisingly okay, though.)


So what really is bad synastry?

In my observation (but this does not have to be valid for everyone else) it is not a certain SAturn or Uranus or Neptune aspcts (though let`s face it, they ARE demanding), but harsh transits that clash with our natal make up.

And the same is true for synastry. The smooth aspect, well they usually doīt hurt that much, but if there are harsh aspects in synastry, it really depends what kind of person we are natally and if the natal make up gets confirmed and emphasized (though sometimes too much) or if there is a serious clash.

For example no matter how exciting and thrilling, I can`t deal with anyone`s Uranus squaring my Venus. It is exciting for the moment, but it leaves my Venus seriously dissatisfied if that is all there is.
Venus is in Cappy square Pluto.
If there is Uranus, there needs to be SAturn and/ or Pluto as well, or it is just, it leaves me strangely cold inside. It does not hit my frequency.


However, someone`s Uranus squaring my Moon? Piece of cake! Give it to me, love it, finally someone who is not emotionally clingy and expects me to act more feminine. Okay, probably he will not be around that often, but I can fill up my time pretty well on my own, and get claustrophobic, if I feel I HAVE to share emotionally with someone who is around ALL THE TIME.
I can share a lot - on my terms, and I am not really that keen on a symbiotic relationship, so that Uranus square would actually speak a lot to my Aquarius-Moon.

However for someone with Cancer - Moon conjunct Saturn, Venus and Pluto, such an Uranus-square to their Moon might easily be simply dreadful. They would feel abandoned easily, or not being "fed" emotionally.

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Odette
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posted April 21, 2014 07:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Odette     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It depends on what you see as bad synastry. I used to think the worst thing in synastry is to have un-aspected personal planets.
I was surprised when I laid eyes on Nicole Kidman's synastry with her husband Keith Urban.
His Mars is un-aspected, but they seem happy and in love. Normally a man's Mars is pretty important when it comes to sexual attraction. He is obviously attracted to her even though his Mars is not in direct aspect to any of her planets.

Another preconception I had was that having an un-aspected Saturn in the composite would mean the relationship wouldn't last. But I found out about a couple who have been together 50 yrs and Saturn is completely un-aspected in the composite.
Goes to show you - everything can work out!

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sillyme
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posted April 22, 2014 12:23 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sillyme     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by geminigal2805:
Pluto survivor what do u mean by second house composite? Planets in the second house of our composite chart? I'm trying to understand.

Same here..... Composite 2nd house? Please elaborate. I have a Saturn-Uranus conjunction in the 2nd with someone....cant figure out what that means..

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geminigal2805
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posted April 22, 2014 07:31 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for geminigal2805     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Odette:
It depends on what you see as bad synastry. I used to think the worst thing in synastry is to have un-aspected personal planets.
I was surprised when I laid eyes on Nicole Kidman's synastry with her husband Keith Urban.
His Mars is un-aspected, but they seem happy and in love. Normally a man's Mars is pretty important when it comes to sexual attraction. He is obviously attracted to her even though his Mars is not in direct aspect to any of her planets.

Another preconception I had was that having an un-aspected Saturn in the composite would mean the relationship wouldn't last. But I found out about a couple who have been together 50 yrs and Saturn is completely un-aspected in the composite.
Goes to show you - everything can work out!


Odette based on this is it ok that my sun is unsuspected? The thing is I'm more confident as a person after I got engaged to him.

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geminigal2805
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posted April 22, 2014 07:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for geminigal2805     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by sillyme:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by geminigal2805:
[b] Pluto survivor what do u mean by second house composite? Planets in the second house of our composite chart? I'm trying to understand.


Same here..... Composite 2nd house? Please elaborate. I have a Saturn-Uranus conjunction in the 2nd with someone....cant figure out what that means..[/B][/QUOTE]

Sillyme I think he means maybe the couple stays together cuz of security?financial security perhaps?

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LeeLoo2014
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posted April 22, 2014 08:04 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

[/QUOTE]
Those mean transits grrr! I'm sure it must have been extremely hard on both of u during that time. At least u guys are still good friends.
I don't even wanna think what would happen when transit Saturn hits my natal Saturn(conjunct my IC n vertex) conjuct his desc. That would oppose his Asc, sun n mercury. Phew!
[/QUOTE]


Saturn is "reap what you sow". You just get what you've invested in the relationship, how honest you've been with yourself and the other, if you've been constructive vs. destructive, if the relationship has been a compromise or the true thing...

Saturn is not a punisher, he is the just reward.

I think only when we've transformed as individuals and evolved and become someone who is ready and worthy to live a great, enduring, absolute love, that's when we meet it. Until then, our relationships are just lessons.

And regarding the OP, so far I haven't seen a bad synastry and a really good relationship put together. It's just that we settle for less and we delude ourselves ( or don't have a reference point) that we are having a good relationship.

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starmoon
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posted April 22, 2014 12:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for starmoon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I do believe there is "good" and "bad" synastry when you view charts. some charts have great aspects and some have more challenging ones. when you come upon one that has "bad" synastry (as you describe yours) but the couple marries and sticks together forever, then you look at natals. there is probably something in the natal charts that is making one partner (or both) determined or steadfast in their behaviors or approach to life, or making them open to resolving issues, etc. sometimes natal charts can provide the answer when synastry looks "bad" but happens anyway

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LucieLemonade
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posted April 22, 2014 02:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LucieLemonade     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I guess we could be talking about the difference between "bad" and not-great-twin-flamey-all-lovey-passion-obession-aspects type of synastry. Also what you want out of a relationship and, as others have said, how each of your natal charts are set up to deal with others/certain issues.

Here's an example, from my life (I know you are dying to know! lol )

I can't deal with Mars/Saturn as it seems to bring people who criticize me and that bugs me no end.

My friend has this with someone who criticizes her all the time! It doesn't actually bother her. She lets it roll off her back. Different people deal differently.

quote:

And regarding the OP, so far I haven't seen a bad synastry and a really good relationship put together. It's just that we settle for less and we delude ourselves ( or don't have a reference point) that we are having a good relationship.

I find it interesting when people into astrology tell others they are/were 'delusional' because we somehow know the "truth" as it's written in the charts/synastry . It reminds me of Shallow Hal. LOL

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LeeLoo2014
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posted April 22, 2014 03:12 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by LucieLemonade:

I find it interesting when people into astrology tell others they are/were 'delusional' because we somehow know the "truth" as it's written in the charts/synastry . It reminds me of Shallow Hal. LOL


I said "we" because we all do it, at some point or another. I've done it myself and I've seen almost everybody doing it. Not because there is something wrong with us, but because it's just part of the process.

Life, among other things, is also a process of learning what is best for us and, at the same time, becoming better partners.

And the truth is that many people, who haven't had the chance to have an example of what a good relationship is (for example, in their family) can settle for bad ones.

This doesn't mean that all people who haven't had a good model in their childhood are prone to bad relationships.

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lifefullofwords
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posted April 22, 2014 03:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lifefullofwords     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm going to second or third or whatever that it really depends on what you consider bad synastry. To me the worst sign is not hard aspects but no aspects. But I've never actually found a couple with no connection in any of their charts. However, I include asteroids as well as minor aspects and midpoints in some charts. I also look at the draconic synastry and persona synastry. Plus there's the composite and Davison charts to consider. An excellent composite or even Davison can explain a lack of synastry. But I haven't looked at thousands of charts or anything so I'm sure there's a couple somewhere that's very happy despite having no astrological connection whatsoever.

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