posted February 16, 2015 02:58 AM            

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Originally posted by peony:

deepseablues, that sounds like a lot of drama and turmoil. Also, perfect example of impossible love in there too.

accidentally falling in love.
Do you think there are any accidents when it comes to falling in love? Or am I just being a dead giveaway of Venus in the 12H? lol

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Haha I was going to edit my post but now I have been quoted, darn! But yes a lot of drama and turmoil, so has been most of my life.

posted February 16, 2015 05:17 AM            

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Originally posted by peony:
Hi SaturnFan!

"That's good to know, I'm familiar only with a small fraction of his work - will look into it more!"

On second thought, you might like the movie "Resurrection." It's an old one. Rosalyn Bruyere, a well respected psychic healer and teacher was the consultant for the film. If you haven't seen it, it reminds me of the trials that a novice in training goes through in order to become a shaman, the whole death-rebirth drama, but the events are not ritually staged as it happens in indigenous cultures, they happen in the character's life. It's a powerful movie that I've seen again and again.

With Venus and Moon square Pluto, I also recommend a book written by Sylvia Brinton Perera "Descent to the Goddess." Myth and story give insights into the meanings of these placements that descriptions alone can't. Perera uses a Sumerian myth revolving around the Goddess Inanna's descent into the Underworld as a frame of reference working with women in therapy. It's a small book but packed with rich insights and depth. Some familiarity with Jungian terminology is needed though.

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I found the movie on Youtube and will watch it today or tomorrow. Also just ordered the book from Amazon - I'm especially excited about it, from what you wrote and what others wrote in the reviews, it looks like something I've been needing for a long time now. Thank you so much for the suggestions, I truly appreciate them - I feel like this conversation was a nod from the Universe that I'm focusing on the right things.

quote:

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Originally posted by peony:
I've suspected for some time that Pluto is connected with past life experiences. Your fear of losing someone after an argument with them makes me wonder if this is a memory from a past life.

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I've been thinking it might be from a past life memory, as this is the only thing that would explain such an unfounded fear. Pluto is a truly fascinating planet.

posted February 16, 2015 09:46 AM            

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Originally posted by peony:
DF, I don't think it's silly at all. You have a very active 12H and particularly with Venus there, the darkness is a source of pleasure. The 12H is shrouded in mystery or darkness, although Depth Psychology in the 20th century has pulled back the curtain somewhat.

In esoteric astrology, Virgo is the personality life or matrix that in earlier incarnations conceals, but when the soul evolves to a certain point nurtures and brings to birth the Light Presence. I tend to stay away from Christian terminology, but in that tradition, the Light Presence is synonymous with Christ.

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Thanks peony!

I get asked a lot why I'm sitting in the dark. LOL At home, or even at work I sit in an area only lit by a skylight. But I sit there when it's dark outside. LOL

posted February 16, 2015 05:54 PM            

I've always felt I didn't quite belong, that I was different. I can be reclusive and shy and definitely awkward. One time as an adult I actually stood behind my boyfriend when he introduced me to his mother. I was terrified.

Most people do not see me that way. When I say I'm shy I've had people literally laugh out loud. I think that is because my Sag sun/moon/merc try really really hard to compensate.

I don't rescue people. I honestly don't have the patience for that. But I do focus my life trying to make others better, stronger, feel loved and accepted as they are, reach their goals while mine sit in the back grounds. Actually after a coaching session I realized that I don't actually HAVE my own goals other than to help others achieve their goals. Like, my life role is to be the support staff. LOL. Maybe I should just embrace that instead of fighting it.

I've never had affairs or dated married/unavailable men. Although parts of my relationships/love life I've kept secret for various reasons, some rational other not rational. And I like it that way as I can be super secretive at times.

posted February 16, 2015 07:12 PM            

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Originally posted by LucieLemonade:
I do focus my life trying to make others better, stronger, feel loved and accepted as they are, reach their goals while mine sit in the back grounds. Actually after a coaching session I realized that I don't actually HAVE my own goals other than to help others achieve their goals. Like, my life role is to be the support staff. LOL. Maybe I should just embrace that instead of fighting it.[B]

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Sounds like a life coach. If you don't mind my asking, how do you feel when you're doing this, energized or depleted?

[/QUOTE]I've never had affairs or dated married/unavailable men. Although parts of my relationships/love life I've kept secret for various reasons, some rational other not rational. And I like it that way as I can be super secretive at times. [/QUOTE]

I would have thought Venus only three degrees from your ASC is more a 1H Venus, but secret love affairs is definitely 12H.

posted February 16, 2015 07:37 PM            

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Sounds like a life coach. If you don't mind my asking, how do you feel when you're doing this, energized or depleted?

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It was a job/career coach. I'm looking for work and I'm getting no where. (Jupiter is coming up on my MC, so fingers crossed!) So a friend suggested I go see this coach. I only went once for the initial meeting. To answer your question though, in this particularly case I felt energized.

I'm not a fan of these types of things. So I was a bit cynical. It turned out to be surprisingly insightful. I came to the realization that I really need a back of house type of job. Client facing is probably not my thing. Of course, I learned the same through astrology! I can be painfully shy at times especially if I'm not feeling 100% confident.

quote:

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I would have thought Venus only three degrees from your ASC is more a 1H Venus, but secret love affairs is definitely 12H.

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Even though much of the sad/painful/difficult stuff of 12H doesn't' resonate so much with me*, I feel more a 12H Venus. Or maybe 1/2 & 1/2. Or maybe I have 12H light.

posted February 16, 2015 11:13 PM            

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Originally posted by deepseablues:

I don't know if there is actually a thing as falling accidentally in love, as I think the reasons this happened were actually very karmic in nature, however I say it like that because that is how it felt. I had an ideal of love and I was very in love with no thought of ever even looking at another, I was bumbling along totally in love and elated with my relationship, in fact I had gone with my partner to something just so I could be around him while he was doing this thing, when this happened and I met the person who would shatter my own vision of love. Upon meeting/seeing him for the first time, it was like I actually tripped and fell head over heels in love, but in a very unpleasant way, like falling down the stairs and fracturing both your legs and breaking a couple of ribs and having one puncture your lungs or something. It was like my heart gasped in rememberance of past lives and love lost with this other person. It made me feel so confused as to feeling sick and made my heart ache like I can't even describe. I wasted many hours idealizing and fantasizing and pining and feeling tortured by my love/feelings for this other person. I eventually confessed my feelings to my partner after years and after he confessed a betrayal of a different kind although I never told him who and it had already been years and I was finally managing to get my feelings for the other under control at this point- as in accepting that it never could or would be and letting go. It felt like a big weight lifted after I confessed as well and helped dissipate a lot of the intense guilt I had been carrying over the feelings because before the confession I felt like a liar and a fake, like I wasn't the person my partner believed me to be.

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deepseablues, if I may say so, I think you were much too hard on yourself. I don't know why your other love showed up when they did, but this is why I tend not to judge people for falling in love with someone else when they're with someone because we all have karmic ties with a number of people and no one is to blame.

posted February 16, 2015 11:27 PM            

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Originally posted by SaturnFan:
hello peony! :-)

I've been thinking it might be from a past life memory, as this is the only thing that would explain such an unfounded fear. Pluto is a truly fascinating planet.

Just one other thing, I am deeply impressed by all of the responses you've been giving on this thread - you are highly intuitive and, without knowing anything about you or your line of work, I can tell that you have great ability to help and guide people. All the best to you!

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Thank you for your kind words, Saturn Fan. It works both ways as I've learned from your wisdom. Blessings to you!

posted February 17, 2015 11:20 AM            

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Originally posted by peony:
That suggests to me that you are rather shy, and there's always a part of you that is for you alone and that you don't share with anyone. Is this true?

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posted February 17, 2015 10:47 PM            

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Originally posted by peony:
deepseablues, if I may say so, I think you were much too hard on yourself. I don't know why your other love showed up when they did, but this is why I tend not to judge people for falling in love with someone else when they're with someone because we all have karmic ties with a number of people and no one is to blame.

Your recognizing him and being flooded with those feelings and memories reminds me of how thin the veil is sometimes between this and other worlds with Venus in the 12H.

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Thanks for the kind words peony. Haha yeah a medium and other psychic people have told me I'm too hard on myself too and I quote the medium: "you have a tendency to beat yourself up without mercy."

It's in my chart besides the Venus in 12th.

posted February 18, 2015 01:14 AM            

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Originally posted by deepseablues:
And yes I agree with you, the veil is so thin, yet just thick enough to make it so hard to see through, like looking through a misty screen, everything seems hard to discern, just out of reach, shrouded in fog and smoke and mystery.

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Yes, that's true too. But what I'm saying is you knew who he was: "my heart gasped in rememberance of past lives and love lost with this other person." We're aware, you were aware, of time stretching from the present to the past. It was an extraordinarily lucid moment, is that not so?

posted February 18, 2015 01:26 AM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I have an afflicted venus in the 12th house and chiron in the 5th house. Basically, i've had a non-existent love life. When I was younger I was very idealistic about love but rejection,disappointment, and heartbreak have left me somewhat cynical. Scratch that! It's made me really cynical. Believe me, it's a humbling experience when you discover that your niece, who is 10 years younger than you, has a more active and healthier love life than you have ever had. As time passes by I'm beginning to enjoy being single more and more. Perhaps romance isn't for me and never was for me.

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posted February 18, 2015 02:30 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by peony:
Yes, that's true too. But what I'm saying is you knew who he was: "my heart gasped in rememberance of past lives and love lost with this other person." We're aware, you were aware, of time stretching from the present to the past. It was an extraordinarily lucid moment, is that not so?

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Yes it was, but it also took time for me to fully understand the feelings and why they were so strong, because it shattered an ideal I carried, it took time for me to realize the connection. Although my heart gasped, it took time for me to figure out why. Also I have always wanted to know more about the past lives that caused this tie/feelings but it's something I haven't been able to access, the memories, who was who and the events that transpired. I have always really longed to know but it's just not something I can access even through meditation or psychic people or anything. Also, although I/my soul recognized him and felt so strongly, I am fairly positive that he did not recognize me/my soul or feel anything the likes I what I felt for him and that hurt as much as anything and made me feel really weird and lonely.

posted February 18, 2015 02:56 AM            

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Originally posted by Kibriana:
Do you guys also have a need to "save/comfort" people you're not attached to romantically or who are interested in you but not vice-versa?
The stupid thing I do is to be really kind to guys who are into me, but I don't feel the same for them. I usually end up being their friend, confidant, confessor, the one who holds their hands even when I'm rejecting them. I think falling for impossible men has taught me how to be compassionate towards them.
What do you think? Any similar experiences?

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posted February 18, 2015 03:04 AM            

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Originally posted by deepseablues:
Yes it was, but it also took time for me to fully understand the feelings and why they were so strong, because it shattered an ideal I carried, it took time for me to realize the connection. Although my heart gasped, it took time for me to figure out why. Also I have always wanted to know more about the past lives that caused this tie/feelings but it's something I haven't been able to access, the memories, who was who and the events that transpired. I have always really longed to know but it's just not something I can access even through meditation or psychic people or anything. Also, although I/my soul recognized him and felt so strongly, I am fairly positive that he did not recognize me/my soul or feel anything the likes I what I felt for him and that hurt as much as anything and made me feel really weird and lonely.

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I meant to ask if you'd pursued finding out what the past lives were. Have you tried regression hypnosis, breath work, or psychedelics?

I know exactly how you feel because I just went through the same thing recently. I remembered him, I felt so much, but he didn't remember me and he didn't feel the same. If I told him what I remembered, he wouldn't have believed me, so there was no point telling him.

But, that's just the surface. At the soul level, they know, even when the ego doesn't.

posted February 18, 2015 03:16 AM            

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Originally posted by SaturnFan:

I'm appalled when I hear women brag about how many suitors they have, or how many hearts they've broken, or aspiring to be a 'femme fatale', as if they're not dealing with actual human beings. I'd rather have 1 single person love me (and I love them back) for my entire life, and would be happy if nobody else ever notices me romantically. I feel like wanting people to want you when you can't give them anything in return, is pure vanity and about the ego.

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It is pure vanity and ego, and this kind of behavior is no different than men who make a game of how many women they can "score" with.

posted February 18, 2015 08:48 AM            

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Originally posted by peony:
aquaguy91, I have Venus in the 12H square Neptune and Chiron in the 5H also. If you don't mind my asking, what planets are aspecting your Venus and your Moon? Is there anything aspecting your Chiron?

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posted February 18, 2015 10:30 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by peony:
I meant to ask if you'd pursued finding out what the past lives were. Have you tried regression hypnosis, breath work, or psychedelics?

I know exactly how you feel because I just went through the same thing recently. I remembered him, I felt so much, but he didn't remember me and he didn't feel the same. If I told him what I remembered, he wouldn't have believed me, so there was no point telling him.

But, that's just the surface. At the soul level, they know, even when the ego doesn't.

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I did a shamanic journey to try to find more information about who he was. All my power animal guide would tell me is that we knew each other in a past life and that he is not "for me" in this life, as in he is "untouchable" to me in this life. My power animal also told me to let go of him. I was also lucky enough to meet a really psychic lady through my friend when I was going through a really dark time, this lady doesn't do this for money, and she hears thoughts and sees past, present and future events and everything. I asked her about this person and all she would tell me is that people from our past lives act like ripples in a pond moving to further out rings or ripples as the lives go on. She won't tell me anything about my past lives cause she says I'm here to change all that even though I desperately want to know more about them. She's told my friend some cool things about her past lives, but they have a special connection as my friend was one of her favorite children in a past life. She basically won't answer many past/future questions though I guess cause she can't give all the answers to people, I think it goes against some sort of code. But she told me many amazing things otherwise and could see to my core, heard my thought patterns, knew about specific events that had happened in my life, ie age of first relationship etc. Anyway through an astrology report from iQ where I specifically asked about past lives he helped bring forth a lot of emotions/memories through the reading and I'm quite certain I committed a terrible sin against this person in a past life and my falling in love with him and being unable to express it or have it reciprocated is part of my karma for the sin.

posted February 19, 2015 12:53 AM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Venus squares: moon, pluto,and mars and quincunxes chiron. Moon is: trine neptune,trine mercury,trine uranus,square jupiter, opposite pluto, and square venus.

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I can see why you've had such a struggle to find love in your life. Moon square Venus can sometimes indicate a mother who had a hard time showing you physical affection. If so, you would have learned at an early age to be cautious about your affections for people. Also, with this aspect is a tendency to become emotionally involved with the wrong person for the wrong reasons, or bad timing is involved. If this is true for you, and if I were you, I'd ask my friends what they think about a person I'm interested in before I pursue a relationship.

With your Moon and Venus in hard aspect to Pluto, there are probably a lot of emotions buried deep inside, to say the least. I wonder if you've worked with a therapist or healer, particularly one who can work on the chakras, or if art or music therapy appeals to you. Given the Moon's aspects to Neptune and Uranus, do you have an artistic or creative outlet of some kind? I'm asking because Moon-Neptune is associated with artistic talent and Moon-Uranus with an interest in film or photography.

posted February 19, 2015 06:38 PM            

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Originally posted by peony:
Moon square Venus can sometimes indicate a mother who had a hard time showing you physical affection. If so, you would have learned at an early age to be cautious about your affections for people.

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posted February 19, 2015 08:37 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
As far as creative expression goes I've recently started playing the ukulele and I've really discovered my love for music. I think it's been a big help to me.

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aquaguy91, I am so happy to hear this. Music, its effects on the chakras, and the role it plays on the evolution of consciousness is a special interest of mine.

posted February 19, 2015 09:06 PM            

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Originally posted by peony:
aquaguy91, I am so happy to hear this. Music, its effects on the chakras, and the role it plays on the evolution of consciousness is a special interest of mine.

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posted February 19, 2015 09:17 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I find it interesting that I ended up being pulled to the ukulele, of all instruments. It's funny because the ukulele has a reputation for being the "happiest instrument" and i'm a cynical guy that's prone to dark moods. It may seem like an odd match but somehow it works. Practicing it has become an obsession and I find myself picking it up and playing throughout the day.

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I've had a theory for some time that musical instruments have unique personalities and that there's a reason why people are drawn to a particular one. I was thinking of similarities between the instrument and the personality. But, you're giving me a new insight on this. Your intuition was correct in choosing the ukulele. It's the right match for you! lol