posted August 04, 2015 09:49 PM            

This sounds right lol

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posted August 04, 2015 10:20 PM            

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Originally posted by Orange:
Mars square or opposite or tightly conjunct Uranus - a sign of a cheater/player

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posted August 04, 2015 10:47 PM            

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
9th house stellium

No way. I am this. We get lost in books and ideas. That is our joy lol

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Exactly. Sag takes books seriously and is committed to study...but people? Well, that's all just for fun.

(Exaggerating and generalizing, I know...but Sag needs freedom to do its thing and commitments can get in the way.)

Hmm this reminds me of Britney Spears...

Oops she did it again!

Oh yes and how could I forget Taylor "Love's a Game, Wanna Play?" Swift.

posted August 04, 2015 11:00 PM            

If we are talking about people who are just sexually promiscuous and interested in sleeping with several others and experimenting - then mutable signs would be first on my list.. mainly Sagittarius and Pisces (but the others are not far behind).
Since this is a sexual thing, I would primarily look at Mars in a mutable sign. Coming second place after the mutables, would be Aries and Aquarius (probably Sun or Mars.. maybe Venus). These signs are likewise experimental.

If we are talking about a "player" in the sense Pixie quoted... then - I would look for (usually men) who have a high sex drive... and who also have very traditional/chauvinistic views about female sexuality.

Hence, they hold the belief that if they were completely honest with a woman and literally said to her: "I simply want a sexual thing" - their desires/needs would go unsatisfied.
(See some of Padre's posts for a perfect example of this kind of "older generation" or "traditional" perspective).

^This is something that happens very rarely nowadays in Scandinavian countries and in most open-minded/liberal, young, educated circles in the Western world.
But it does still happen in more traditional settings.

A majority of these "players" simply want sex, and they believe there is no other way for them to get sex than to lie. Obviously, this is a very delusional notion... since we are all animals and both men and women (assuming they are not on the asexual spectrum) are equally interested in simply having *sex*, because sex is physically enjoyable, and very good for stress relief.

I would look towards negative Venus/Mars aspects - with Saturn thrown into that mix. They may have received messages from their parents/family that sexuality is wrong, that male sexuality is something to hide.. and female sexuality does not actually exist at all (as though all women want love and marriage, and this is what constitutes the "joie of vivre" for them)...Again, see some of Padre's older posts in Sweet Peas for a really good example of this type of irrational thinking.

So basically, these guys simply have it all wrong.
They literally don't understand the biological workings of the female body.

But, there is also a minority of people who are players in this ^ sense.. (male and female) who suffer from more serious mental illness. In their case, it's not being traditional or having a high sex drive... They have self-esteem and empathy issues... e.g. sociopathy, narcissism.
I don't actually think that this is astrology-related though ^... or not directly related.

posted August 04, 2015 11:52 PM            

But there should also be an acknowledgement of the fact that many people in the world actually do not hold such religious beliefs - and are comfortable having casual sex, or FWB sex or open relationships.
And most of all, there should be an acknowledgement that this group of people includes many women, as well as men.

If there was an acknowledgement and acceptance of this ^ for both men and women... then a great majority of those people who are now considered "players", would come to understand that - there are others out there who are *just* like them.. and who want exactly what they want - and hence, also understand that - there is no need to put on a "show" of blockbuster proportions and blatantly lie to get sex.
Everyone's needs could be met, and everyone could live happily ever after.

posted August 05, 2015 01:22 AM            

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Originally posted by Odette:
many people in the world actually do not hold such religious beliefs - and are comfortable having casual sex, or FWB sex or open relationships.
And most of all, there should be an acknowledgement that this group of people includes many women, as well as men.

If there was an acknowledgement and acceptance of this ^ for both men and women... then a great majority of those people who are now considered "players", would come to understand that - there are others out there who are *just* like them.. and who want exactly what they want - and hence, also understand that - there is no need to put on a "show" of blockbuster proportions and blatantly lie to get sex.
Everyone's needs could be met, and everyone could live happily ever after.

Except for those with more serious and deeply engrained psychological issues.. who would unfortunately - need much more help - to reach a point where they can also, "live happily ever after".

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Theoretically, this makes a lot of sense and I'd be inclined to agree.

And yet I'm not sure this is so because of all the gay men (many of whom have rejected the more fundie types of religion for obvious reasons) who describe dating apps strictly for casual sex as well as where they can usually find it (though maybe not their first choice). And generally speaking gay men were raised with the same condition as straight men that promotes getting sex (maybe they have to hide that it's gay sex from society but sex is sex). And yet despite that they're able to find each other in all sorts of easy ways many gay men wanting something more seem to be as afflicted with players as women, and describe very similar reasons (how it happens between them, etc). And so many talk about catching their significant other or even spouse having sex with others (often found through apps) behind his back, swearing he won't do it again, only to do it again of course. IOW, players, when there's no need for it (and it completely baffles me).

posted August 05, 2015 03:12 PM            

If there's a mix of emotional and physical seduction but the trajectory and destination are obscured...

Well again, that's usually obvious -- to me anyway, and I don't think it takes ESP to realize that a guy who doesn't call when he says he will is probably not gung-ho to commit. I think the signs are usually right there, so whoever goes along for that ride cannot reasonably complain that it's not smooth and secure...play with fire and you get burned, and no one's going to step in and save you from yourself.

posted August 05, 2015 03:33 PM            

This is a GREAT subject. I am going to see if I can write an article on it. It is a complex subject, as are most of them lol

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posted August 05, 2015 10:30 PM            

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I'd say society and culture from the media makes players.

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posted August 06, 2015 02:11 AM            

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Originally posted by Odette:
About getting played repeatedly.. I see it a lot with Cancer, because they are the most likely to have a strong desire for traditional love and marriage.. and they go through a phase (mainly when young) when they think everyone is as sensitive, emotional and naive as they are.

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posted August 06, 2015 02:38 AM            

Cancer stellium 11H+Leo Saturn 11H. Sun, Mercury trine Uranus, Venus and Saturn sq Uranus.

Cap Moon in 5H quintile Uranus.

Virgo Asc, Mars sextile Uranus by 0,01 degree.

Uranus in 3H opp. SN, Jupiter 9H.

In progressed chart I have all personal planets (except Moon) + Asc in Virgo 12H sq Neptune and Pluto conj Asc except in 1H. Those would the most prominent things happening there.

I contribute, STRONGLY, my past behavior to Uranus being very strong in my chart and I have had, and still fight with it, core-deep urges to "break free" from anyone and anything. A bit like a wild horse..I am not a mean person, quite the opposite, but I get seriously claustrophobic if things and conversations become redundant and repetitive.

My fiance has Uranus lighting up his chart like a christmas tree and he is more erratic than I and that keeps me on my toes. I never know what his next idea or action will be. Unfortunately, this also causes quite the fireworks between us here and there :-/ Our brains are always amped up which make them bound to short circuit.

Anyway, I have done my fair share of cheating and playing. I see Sag mentioned a lot...I do have a Sag stellium in my Draconic chart along with a Gem Moon. In Sidereal it's opposite: Gem stellium and a Sag Moon. Houses are the same; 11/5.

posted August 06, 2015 05:04 AM            

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when I think of players, I'm thinking of people who emotionally string others along...since the people who are just out to get laid usually advertise their objectives clearly enough, so anyone who cavorts with them has no valid reason to expect follow-through or a relationship.

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Hmmm I don't know.. because.. if "player" only referred to these psychologically warped individuals who string people along with an obscure, non-sexual agenda... then there wouldn't be very many players in the world.
Because cluster B disorders like NPD and ASPD are not all that common.

Wiki:
"The words 'womanizer', 'playboy', 'stud', 'player', 'ladies' man', 'lady killer', and 'rake' may be used in reference to a man who has romantic affairs or sexual relations, or both, with women, and who will not marry or commit to a relationship"

^ The whole definition is usually based on the conservative/traditional concept that women want love and marriage, while men want sex (and can't get any, unless they promise the woman love and marriage).
It's all very 16th century aristocrat *meet* present day Texan.. in vibe...

This kind of rhetoric serves to strip women of their sexual independence, ability to make choices for themselves regarding their bodies, and their sexual power.
It also portrays men in a very shallow, one-dimensional way - as "only wanting one thing" - when in actuality, all humans are psychologically complex (regardless of gender).

quote:

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Oh and I think women are psychologically rigged to be more cautious about sex because of the chance of becoming pregnant...seems to be hardwired into our brains

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posted August 06, 2015 10:16 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Odette:
Hmmm I don't know.. because.. if "player" only referred to these psychologically warped individuals who string people along with an obscure, non-sexual agenda... then there wouldn't be very many players in the world.

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I didn't say it was non-sexual, but I think most people want at least some emotional connection before having sex, and if players want to play broadly, they have to know how to manipulate those emotions to gain access.

Right?

Otherwise they only play with people who are in it for purely physical reasons...and if both want the same thing, neither gets played.

quote:

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Originally posted by Odette:
The whole definition is usually based on the conservative/traditional concept that women want love and marriage, while men want sex (and can't get any, unless they promise the woman love and marriage).
It's all very 16th century aristocrat *meet* present day Texan.. in vibe...

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Well if there is romance without any intention to commit...that can be upsetting. I feel like romance is all hinged around intimations of lasting affection, ie, "You really mean something to me" (romance) therefore....

a) I'd like you to stick around

not

b) I'll contact you if the mood ever strikes again.

quote:

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Originally posted by Odette:
This kind of rhetoric serves to strip women of their sexual independence, ability to make choices for themselves regarding their bodies, and their sexual power.
It also portrays men in a very shallow, one-dimensional way - as "only wanting one thing" - when in actuality, all humans are psychologically complex (regardless of gender).

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I think it only portrays players that way, as that's who it's defining.

How would you define "player"?

quote:

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Originally posted by Odette:
I disagree with this because any hetero woman could be sexually attracted to any number of men (throughout her life) whom she does not want to marry or have kids with.
And many women do happily pursue casual sex in the Western world.

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I was trying to account for the fact, if you'll grant me that it's a fact, that men tend to be more promiscuous than women.

So women may be attracted to many, and willing to have sex with many....

But men are attracted to even more, and willing to have sex with more.

I do think it's biological and not just social conditioning. I feel that sex is riskier for women. There's the risk of pregnancy as I said and also things going awry if you're alone with someone who can physically overpower you. A guy hanging out in a bar hoping to land a one-night stand generally has less concerns about what could go wrong than a woman in the same position.

If she's not concerned well maybe she should be.

I knew a guy who tried to sleep with at least one different woman every night and he told me that he would give them fake phone numbers afterwards...he was kinda baffled they even wanted a number. And he said that more than once he bumped into a woman he'd slept with who was angry that he just up and left afterwards. And again, he was flabbergasted.

posted August 06, 2015 10:48 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
Hi Odette

Well if there is romance without any intention to commit...that can be upsetting. I feel like romance is all hinged around intimations of lasting affection, ie, "You really mean something to me" (romance) therefore....

a) I'd like you to stick around

not

I knew a guy who tried to sleep with at least one different woman every night and he told me that he would give them fake phone numbers afterwards...he was kinda baffled they even wanted a number. And he said that more than once he bumped into a woman he'd slept with who was angry that he just up and left afterwards. And again, he was flabbergasted.

So, we may like to think of women as keeping up with the men with our emotionally-detached sexual escapades, but that doesn't mean it's actually happening that way. We really don't know.

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I think this is interesting from the differential point of view, again. Men are traditionally more inclined to separate sex from emotions/affection/love. This has to do (among other factors) with the fact that men have had considerable more time for socially acceptable objectification of the opposite gender. Women however, based on the previous models imposed on them, may take such an invitation (the situation you describe here) as a sign of personal interest, rather than what it actually is, an impersonal sexual spree. While the man believes the woman is perfectly aware of this and that she wanted the same thing: sex, a one night stand only.

However, currently, since it is equally socially acceptable for women to sexually objectify men ( it is rapidly evolving in this direction, in let's say modern societies), the difference tends to blur and women can do socially acceptable sexual sprees too. A sociological research would be interesting, one that answers the question: what men really feel about being sexually objectified by women and being part of a list of impersonal one-night stands? My guess is such a research will show that, with the exception of people genuinely being aware of what they're doing, both men and women will have a negative reaction to being objectified, even if they do it themselves

My view on "players", men and women, is that there are different reasons behind a "player" profile and each correspond to different planetary energies, which makes it hard to establish a quick profile for this.

An 8th house/Pluto man or woman would experiment with this to test their own power of seduction.

Saturn will do it too, from a different perspective, and many famous players have strong Saturn because they are actually trying to overcome social/sexual insecurity through this behavior.

Often this is the reason behind player behavior: personal power, and not being oversexed.

Sexual experimentation or other sexual reason can be one of the stimuli here, or at least add to it. However, it is a known fact one cannot test their sexual power with a string of one-night stands, since a one night stand is minimal resistance, it requires minimal skill or no skill at all. Personally, I know several examples (men and women) who are "players' (based on sexual reasons) because of sexual dysfunctions (or other personal or relational dysfunctions) they are trying to "cover up" so to speak (you can't do this in an actual relationship)

As I said, I think it is more about power and control. Uranus is another possible reason, as some of the posters pointed out here; it's connected to power and control too, but also the fear of abandonment Uranians experience. Plus, being a rebel and (sexually) impulsive, if Uranus is linked to sexual planets.

So more complex psychological mechanisms seem to be connected with hardcore "player" behavior, most of them related to overcoming insecurity/seeking personal power and self-validation.

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I seem to have loved you in numberless forms...

AstroMandala

posted August 06, 2015 10:52 AM            

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Originally posted by HoodBlaze:
I'd say society and culture from the media makes players. The programming towards males is ridiculous. I got sucked into all that in high school. Yes, I was young but how I made those girls feel I can never possibly imagine. It took me years of dark contemplation, mediation, yoga, diet change etc, to pull myself out. Old buddy's of mine never did and it's so scary

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