posted August 17, 2015 09:31 AM            

You're helping me get my own thoughts squared away and expanding my perspective.

posted August 17, 2015 09:36 AM            

2. Will you break it off if or when that feeling fades? Honestly, no. I tend to like to beat a dead horse. I'll try and try and try to revive the relationship until it ends.

3. Would you stay in a relationship if you found yourself attracted to someone else, even if you didn't act on it? In other words, do you take your own "emotional cheating" (even if it's unrequited) as a sign that your relationship is doomed or unhealthy? Would you prefer that your partner break it off with you, if they feel attracted to someone else?
I would because attractions come and go. However, if it doesn't go away I more than likely would leave as I know that if I am feeling something for someone else I am in a relationship with the wrong person. When the roles reversed, yes I would hope that they would end it before they cheat.

4. What's the longest relationship you've had?
2 years with a Pisces, worst relationship of my life.

5. Have you ever ended a relationship because you think your partner is attracted to someone else, but not actually cheating?
No, I am clearly oblivious to it because every boyfriend I have had except for my last one has cheated on me or left me for another woman.

6. Do you know any long-term couples who match your ideal of love and marriage?
Not personally but one time I went to an ice cream shop and I looked over and saw this adorable old couple sitting at a table eating ice cream as happy as could be as if it was their first date again. I want that.

7. If you were married with children, would that affect your standards, do you think?
I'm not sure I understand this question.

8. After you are broken up with someone you once loved, how likely are you to retain some affection for that person?
Very unlikely, when I am done, I am forever done.

9. What in your chart explains your answers above? Capricorn Venus and maybe my Venus conjunct Saturn and my big Capricorn Stellium.

Well, that was therapeutic lol. =]

posted August 17, 2015 11:25 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by DopGang:
I like your answers Gabby!

---

posted August 18, 2015 05:16 AM            

---

1. Is it very important to you to feel totally in love in a relationship?

No, I think there is a difference of being totally in love and just loving someone- looking back on my past long term relationships, I loved them but was not totally in love with them.

2. Will you break it off if or when that feeling fades?
Yes, and I have done so in my past relationships. I'm not sure of my answer for a marriage.

3. Would you stay in a relationship if you found yourself attracted to someone else, even if you didn't act on it? In other words, do you take your own "emotional cheating" (even if it's unrequited) as a sign that your relationship is doomed or unhealthy? Would you prefer that your partner break it off with you, if they feel attracted to someone else?

Yes I would probably still stay in a relationship, personally I think it's quite easy to be physically and sexually attracted to another person on a superficial level but emotionally attracted to someone else is a lot different. I would prefer it if my partner told me then I would want to gauge at what level the attraction was and what kind of relationship they had ie work colleague, ex etc. I think the fact they would admit it either means they want to be honest and discuss it or that they are just not happy.

4. What's the longest relationship you've had?

10 years (my marriage now, 8 years married), before that 4 years, two 2 year relationships and a couple of 1 year ones.

5. Have you ever ended a relationship because you think your partner is attracted to someone else, but not actually cheating?
No.

6. Do you know any long-term couples who match your ideal of love and marriage?

Yep- my parents 30+ years, my hubby's parents 30+ years, my sister, brother in law's and many of our friends have been married for a while. Unfortunately a few of our friends who got married around the same time have either split or divorced.

7. If you were married with children, would that affect your standards, do you think?

I would think it would be a lot harder to contemplate splitting up if kids are involved.

8. After you are broken up with someone you once loved, how likely are you to retain some affection for that person?

I am still friends with most of my ex's, although I broke it off with most of them, the breaks were reasonably amicable and drama free (bar two).

9. What in your chart explains your answers above?

Venus conjunct mercury in 7th house
Venus & mercury in aquarius
Moon conjunct mars in Gemini 11th house
Pisces sun in 8th
Sun square moon
Venus trine mars

Thanks for the questions Faith, what about yourself?

posted August 18, 2015 12:20 PM            

I'd rather have it more casual and friendly. Than serious and intense really.

I love to laugh. And I love to make my SO laugh.

So I tend to crack jokes and be very sarcastic in a relationship. And I can't deal well with someone who changes their personality when they feel pressure externally

posted August 18, 2015 12:28 PM            

--NO

2. Will you break it off if or when that feeling fades?

--POSSIBLY

3. Would you stay in a relationship if you found yourself attracted to someone else, even if you didn't act on it? In other words, do you take your own "emotional cheating" (even if it's unrequited) as a sign that your relationship is doomed or unhealthy? Would you prefer that your partner break it off with you, if they feel attracted to someone else?

--I WOULD STAY WITH THE PERSON I AM WITH REGARDLESS OF MY ATTRACTION FOR SOMEONE ELSE. IF MY PARTNER IS ATTRACTED TO SOMEONE ELSE AND WANTS TO BE WITH THEM, I WOULD SEPARATE MYSELF AND LET THEM DO WHAT THEY WANT.

4. What's the longest relationship you've had?

-- 6 MONTHS

5. Have you ever ended a relationship because you think your partner is attracted to someone else, but not actually cheating?

--NO

6. Do you know any long-term couples who match your ideal of love and marriage?

-- ANY RELATIONSHIP WHERE THERE ARE NO RESTRICTIONS AND OVER-DEPENDANCY. JUST A NATURAL BOND.

7. If you were married with children, would that affect your standards, do you think?

--NO

8. After you are broken up with someone you once loved, how likely are you to retain some affection for that person?

-- VERY LIKELY, BUT IN A DETACHED WAY.

9. What in your chart explains your answers above?

posted August 18, 2015 11:20 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Arachne18:
Thanks for the questions Faith, what about yourself?

---

Thanks for the answers, Arachne and everyone

I've been waiting to satisfy these two conditions:

-Clear mind
-Free time

posted August 19, 2015 12:11 AM            

Bear with me, I had to work this out the long way. And as this is an extension of a conversation that began on another thread, I want to try and spell it out fully.

No, I don't have to feel totally in love.

It's important to me to feel that "in love" is possible and within my line of vision. But I don't even need that.

Imagine "in love" as a kind of archway that I need to go through with someone, to come out on the other side of "happy relationship" or even "worthwhile relationship, happiness optional." When I was dating, it often started out that we were just friends, but we inched towards that archway. Passing through it would accelerate and enliven emotion (and create lasting memories.) The time spent within the archway was never that long, but passing through it was dazzling and important.

I think the emotions magnified then were based on gut feelings and instincts about the person's true spirit. But the emotions resumed a "normal size" when dealing with the person in a relationship context, having my own issues spoiling some things, and handling practical constraints together. Then I would gradually lose that emotional charge. However it's been important to me to have faith in that inner beauty and worth, that I glimpsed in "the archway," and return to the archway sometimes...maybe just in gratitude (like my husband making the coffee every morning ) or laughing about something, or appreciating a person's talents.

Some relationships started out heading towards "in love" but stalled or started going in reverse, and I was usually the one to break it off. Some actually inched towards love for a really long time...stringing me along...like, "Okay we're getting there, one little year at a time..." And others sort of left a ghost of me, stuck in time, there in that archway.

Poignant if you imagine the arch with flowers and rain coming down and me drenched and crying.

No I'm kidding. What's the next question, I forget...

2. Will you break it off if or when that feeling fades?

No, it has to be something more pressing and negative, like reaching a point of absolute frustration.

3. Would you stay in a relationship if you found yourself attracted to someone else, even if you didn't act on it? In other words, do you take your own "emotional cheating" (even if it's unrequited) as a sign that your relationship is doomed or unhealthy? Would you prefer that your partner break it off with you, if they feel attracted to someone else?

No to all of the above, unless I really thought cheating was imminent.

In my dating years if word got around that a girl liked my boyfriend, I would ask my boyfriend if he wanted to date her. I was so innocent and non-possessive about it, too...I think it irritated them sometimes.

Me: "Emily likes you."
Him: "People have told me..."
Me: "So are you going to date her?"
Him: "No."
Me: "She's pretty, though! Why not?"
Him: "I have a girlfriend...."
Me: "Yeah but I wouldn't blame you if you picked her, it would be like an upgrade."
Him: "Sigh...she's dumb as a doorknob."
Me: "Ohhhhhhhh"

And because I was always like that, my boyfriends felt perfectly comfortable telling me about their crushes...I told them my crushes...that was my environment in my formative years (teens and early 20's). I grew up thinking crushes were normal and fine. And believing that if two people really deeply respected each other, crushes didn't matter in the grand scheme of things.

You know I suppose friendship has always mattered more to me than romance, because you can be more honest with friends...things don't get weird and distorted by relationship rules.

4. What's the longest relationship you've had?

16 years and counting.

5. Have you ever ended a relationship because you think your partner is attracted to someone else, but not actually cheating?

Yes. See Question #3 about how I dealt with outside attractions. I would just ask "Do you like her better?" in my friendly, non-threatening way. If they said "No" unconvincingly, I would actually say, "I don't believe you, but look it's fine, we'll stay friends. Can we stay friends?"

I gave them an out and they took it.

Can't imagine my husband ever having a crush on someone else or this being an issue with us...he seems to like me just fine.

6. Do you know any long-term couples who match your ideal of love and marriage?

No, not personally. Well some come close...I try not to be too unrealistic.

7. If you were married with children, would that affect your standards, do you think?

Yes it does. Kids come first.

8. After you are broken up with someone you once loved, how likely are you to retain some affection for that person?

Likely.

9. What in your chart explains your answers above?

posted August 19, 2015 12:17 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Faith:
For curiosity's sake! This thread is inspired by a recent conversation with some hard-core romantics on a certain Pisces thread.

---

1. Is it very important to you to feel totally in love in a relationship?

Totally in love in the romance novel sense? No. A sense of belonging? Of comfort? Of maybe even family? Combined with chemistry of course, yes.

Venus Cancer Rx (in the 9th with the candlestick... er conjunct the NN)

2. Will you break it off if or when that feeling fades?

I'm usually not the one that breaks it off. But if you lose my trust, or I lose that feeling of comfort, I will disengage, and that can lead to a breakup.

Gemini Sun, and something in my chart that doesn't like direct confrontation... Mars in Taurus in 7th?

3. Would you stay in a relationship if you found yourself attracted to someone else, even if you didn't act on it? In other words, do you take your own "emotional cheating" (even if it's unrequited) as a sign that your relationship is doomed or unhealthy? Would you prefer that your partner break it off with you, if they feel attracted to someone else?

---

I can't love one woman completely without loving all women some. That said, it typically... no, I'll rephrase... It simply doesn't occure to me to be unfaithful. If someone or something arouses me, why wouldn't I bring that to my partner?

As for my partner... it depends. There would come a point where a choice would need to be made. Is this just attraction or is this something she may act on? I prefer it be broken off before it becomes cheating.

Leo Moon in 10, Scorpio Asc, hell, basic pride, being a man, etc...

4. What's the longest relationship you've had?

Not an easy question. My relationship with my ex wife spans 33 years in various forms. We were a "couple" for 4 years, 5 years, and 7 years in that time.

Edit... the fact that this isn't an easy question in and of itself probably says something...

Synastry: Moon opp Saturn DW, completing each others grand crosses, her Venus on my aVx...

Someone should do a case study sometime...

5. Have you ever ended a relationship because you think your partner is attracted to someone else, but not actually cheating?

No. She's human? She likes sex? She likes men? These are good things. But does she love me? Is she loyal to me? Will she be faithful to me? Ah, now we find out...

6. Do you know any long-term couples who match your ideal of love and marriage?

[/QUOTE]

None that I know so well to say. A few that appear to.

7. If you were married with children, would that affect your standards, do you think?

I'm not sure I understand the question. Would I overlook infidelity for the sake of the children? Situationally. In the "our marriage is dead in all but name" case? No. It ends. "I strayed but I want us to work" case? Different story.

8. After you are broken up with someone you once loved, how likely are you to retain some affection for that person?

I still have a card from my high school sweetheart, a picture of my date to the 9th grade dance, a box of cards and letters from my ex wife that she sent me my freshman year in college...

Half of them friended me on FB...

Really?

Venus trine Saturn, Venus in Cancer, Leo Moon, et al...

9. What in your chart explains your answers above?

[/QUOTE]

You've seen my chart Faith. Leo Moon in 10th. Venus Rx in Cancer trine Saturn sRx in Pisces, Scorpio Asc for the grand water trine, Planets in all three water signs that are Rx, the aVx sitting on the missing planet to complete the mutable cross... Everything's connected. You can't just aspect one thing in my chart without aspecting half the fricking chart. So either a partner isn't going to stick at all, or they're going to get tangled up in half my life.

I tried to mention the glairing ones in the individual answers.

Thanks for any replies...I know this is literally asking a lot.[/QUOTE]

posted August 19, 2015 12:35 AM            

I read the whole thing while still smiling ear to ear about this...

quote:

---

Venus Cancer Rx (in the 9th with the candlestick... er conjunct the NN)

---

I loved that game, Clue.

I'm ambitious to the point of crazy and honestly do hope to reply to at least one answer that everyone gave here...when time permits. I'm brimming with thoughts.

posted August 21, 2015 12:49 AM            

~ Bump for even more answers...

I'm gonna reply soon, it's just a big hill to climb, that's a lot of things I gotta say...

posted August 21, 2015 10:40 AM            

I am so happy for you that you say that. I'm glad you have found a good way to live, and hope your children are very happy likewise.

@Soltze
8."I'm very likely to have the urge of poisoning them with cyanide"

This, along with your recent answer about Marital Rape in Sweet Peas...so refreshingly on point for Moon-Pluto in Scorpio, in the 8th But of course I don't mean to encourage crime....maybe it's good you've only dabbled with people (4 months and you're done.) --> I say that tongue in cheek.

@DopGang
2. "No. Never have because of that."
3. "Even if it felt rather serious I would stay put."

I was so relieved to read these answers ~ you were the first person to answer that way. And I think it's romantic, actually: I'll love you even when I don't. All bases covered!

@Vajra
3. "Some people are just attractive, it's not their fault, neither is it mine. The question is what one actually does about it. I'm not prompted to act on such a feeling (which may occur rather rarely in any case) other than having a friendly chat here and there."

Well said and I completely agree.

9. "Somehow I feel that if someone is strange/quirky enough to actually like me, they will not easily find a replacement elsewhere, so that may be why I don't feel threatened so easily."

I am so grateful to you for putting this into words. I've always felt the same way. 'Never really threatened by other women or insecure about my standing with a man, on the basis of competition. In fact when I was young, I had a very confident foundation: "You think she's better for you than I am? By all means, investigate." I addressed this in my own answers, given above.

posted August 21, 2015 10:58 AM            

Excellent point. It's important to be willing to ride the waves...to never expect a static bliss or an escalator that only goes up.

3. "I've experienced this and chose to stay because I don't believe in leaving something that has proven to stand the test of time for a new attraction that's based more in fantasy then the grounded reality I'm already in. I don't believe in taking the risk even if the little Venus in Aries in the 7th is screaming at me with smothered curiosity."

LOL...I'm similar. Looking back I do wish I had broken it off with my college boyfriend (on/off for four years) and given into my wanderlust, but hindsight is always 20/20. My draconic Venus is exactly conjunct my tropical Jupiter in Aries. It's loud and obnoxious but my Capricorn sun and Libra Pluto just tell it to hush.

@socialgraffiti
7. "I would probably be more demanding in a relationship. Less chance for big mistakes since it affects more people."

I like this answer and have adhered to the same philosophy...well I married in a context of rigid standards, hoping to preserve them for future children's sake. Over time I've been learning how valuable flexibility is for children, too. There needs to be that balance of high standards with compassion.

@Selenite
2. "I guess I am kind of a vague and unpredictable partner. I don't care about everything that happened before - if the current situation is not ok for me, and not fixable, I will leave. I don't want a relationship for the sake of it. I need to be in love with them."

So Sadge. I think all your answers reflect your placements so well. Thanks for your candor...well we can always count on your sign for that!

@LeeLoo
"Great thread and answers!"

posted August 21, 2015 11:11 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Faith:
For curiosity's sake! This thread is inspired by a recent conversation with some hard-core romantics on a certain Pisces thread.

---

1. Is it very important to you to feel totally in love in a relationship?

2. Will you break it off if or when that feeling fades?

3. Would you stay in a relationship if you found yourself attracted to someone else, even if you didn't act on it? In other words, do you take your own "emotional cheating" (even if it's unrequited) as a sign that your relationship is doomed or unhealthy? Would you prefer that your partner break it off with you, if they feel attracted to someone else?

4. What's the longest relationship you've had?

5. Have you ever ended a relationship because you think your partner is attracted to someone else, but not actually cheating?

6. Do you know any long-term couples who match your ideal of love and marriage?

7. If you were married with children, would that affect your standards, do you think?

8. After you are broken up with someone you once loved, how likely are you to retain some affection for that person?

9. What in your chart explains your answers above?

Thanks for any replies...I know this is literally asking a lot.

---

posted August 21, 2015 11:45 AM            

I hadn't even thought of that but it affected my thinking about the whole matter so much that I wondered about the value of my question. Then I also had to look at those positive snapshots we get, of random couples at their best, in a different light...no, they may not reflect a homogenously happy reality...but they may show a kind of strength as a team that enables them to be truly happy in the moment, rising above the negative aspects of their relationship. And as I think of it, that counts for a lot, if they people know how to appreciate it for what it is. After all everything in life is fleeting and everything has a deeper story we won't see.

@Odette
2. "No, because friendship is more important to me."

Come to think of it...I agree!

5. "No and I would never in a million years do this."

I think that is really nice & reassuring.

@Delilah

Not quoting your answers but I relate to all of them and we have the same moon sign! Hmm!

@Gabby
"Do you even want me to answer Faith or just keep my lil mouth shut?? Lol"

Hehehehe I'm glad you answered and enjoyed reading all of it. Just quoting:

"Funny thing is none of the lasting relationships were the first marriages, it was always the 2nd or 3rd, mostly after everyone hit 30-40...except my brothers he's still on his first marriage. I guess for some maturity and experience are needed to have that kind of relationship."

That's a real eye-opener and makes me wonder.

Sometimes I feel like people have to "molt" from their younger years by casting off the relationships they developed with their younger personalities.

That sounds scandalous I know. Not everyone needs to molt but some...they really do. "Irreconcilable differences" is a very, very meaningful phrase.

@fireopal09

3. "Yes, I would stay in the relationship if I was physically attracted to someone else. Damn, starting something new would require training."

LOL...sooo true.

6. "Burton-Taylor"

posted August 21, 2015 12:04 PM            

4. "- rather not say lol"

But you know what, I do like your high standards and think you are more likely to meet your best match that way. Too often Leos will settle...and while I like that about them...sometimes I wish they would push for more for themselves. They can underrate themselves.

@12muddy

3. "I will talk about my “attraction” first. I love fantasies. People, among many other things, provides the basic “materials. I'm attracted to the fantasies I can weave, not the people themselves. I've been this way since forever. But I'm like this because I allow myself to indulge since I see no reason to stop.

It is easy for me to invite that slight flutter, that heady/intoxicated feeling. It is fleeting, and I like it that way."

Brilliant as usual. I am similar to this...I've justified it by thinking it's actually no different than watching a romantic movie, only I am casting people or certain energies within them, and directing, and acting, viewing, and deriving the desired emotional response, all at once.

You and I both have Venus-Neptune so that could definitely be a factor.

To me it's rather innocent.

It reminds me of a poem by Christina Rossetti ~excerpt ~

A saint, an angel;— every canvass means
The same one meaning, neither more nor less.
He feeds upon her face by day and night,
And she with true kind eyes looks back on him
Fair as the moon and joyfull as the light;
Not wan with waiting, not with sorrow dim;
Not as she is, but was when hope shone bright;
Not as she is, but as she fills his dream.

As they fill the dream.

@confusedaseff

1. "absolutely. ride or die"

What else to expect from a Cap stellium with Scorpio Venus?

6. "so i don't mind having a man thats not the most affectionate but will work to make sure i'm happy and can sleep at night with no worries. hell i'd marry him myself if i could haha"

posted August 21, 2015 12:32 PM            

@4lifephrases

If you read this I am so curious to know what your screen name means?

"Thank you for posting"

Thank you for thanking me and answering.

1. "Yes it is important to feel loved. TOTALLY?? What is that ? lol..."

Good point.

#Deep...

Oh I just scrolled won and see that you're a Scorpio.

#FittingToo

3. "No, I do not think my emotional thoughts/ cheating has anything to do with relationship is doomed or unhealthy but my curiosity.
Yes I would expect my partner break off he was seriously attracted to someone else."

Same here, actually, on both counts. I don't think I addressed that yet. If my husband was longing to move on, I wouldn't want to hold him back.

@meatballzzzzzz

2. "Honestly, no. I tend to like to beat a dead horse. I'll try and try and try to revive the relationship until it ends."

ROTFL

God I have been the same way. Are you second decan Cap, by chance? I think we are the worst about that.

8. "Very unlikely, when I am done, I am forever done."

Hmm I wonder if that's your Venus-Saturn. Most Caps I've known do hang onto something, same way we all have momentos in our closet like the keychain our first boyfriend bought us at the fair, or whatever.

@Arachne17

2. "Yes, and I have done so in my past relationships."

I wonder what in your chart enables that...since I would think, 8H Pisces sun might be more prone to drifting along..at least my 8H Pisces moon has behaved that way. Maybe your smart Aqua Venus-Mercury in the 7H.

Yeah that is kinda enviable

6. "Unfortunately a few of our friends who got married around the same time have either split or divorced."

I'm amazed that many people that I knew growing up who are my age are already divorced. I'm 39. I thought it wasn't supposed to happen til their 40's.

@Aries 23 Degrees

Loved your answers ~ well I always do.

@NYCdodger

1. "Is it very important to you to feel totally in love in a relationship?

--NO"

I don't know why I just love that. So refreshingly BLUNT.

3. "--I WOULD STAY WITH THE PERSON I AM WITH REGARDLESS OF MY ATTRACTION FOR SOMEONE ELSE."

This is the essence of Leo in my experience, and why I've loved Leos. They are devoted come hell or high water. I think it's also one reason Leo rules the house of children. Because Leos tend to stick around long enough to actually help raise them.

6. "-- ANY RELATIONSHIP WHERE THERE ARE NO RESTRICTIONS AND OVER-DEPENDANCY. JUST A NATURAL BOND."

Great answer. Worth the capitalization.

posted August 21, 2015 01:12 PM            

3. "I can't love one woman completely without loving all women some."

I absolutely adore this answer! !

4. "Someone should do a case study sometime..."

Have you ever posted the charts? I understand if you'd rather not, for privacy reasons. But it would be intriguing to look at.

9. "Everything's connected. You can't just aspect one thing in my chart without aspecting half the fricking chart. So either a partner isn't going to stick at all, or they're going to get tangled up in half my life."

Wow...yeah I see what you mean...

Well you are fun, so they should thank you.

@Rosalind

Please bump the thread in IA where we were talking, if there's any progress?

3. "It depends. If I feel the love faded ages ago and I didn't realise it until the new guy appeared, then yes."

I like this answer ~ reminds me of one of my favorite little sayings: "You won't know what you need until someone gives it to you."

Not sure if it's clear why I said that. I just mean, we can bury our needs, and others will come along fulfilling and thus excavating them.

posted August 21, 2015 01:13 PM            

So now this thread can slip off the front page and no one will even see it.

But hey some things are worth it, just because.

All the best to everyone reading this.

posted August 21, 2015 01:17 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Faith:
[b]@Gemini Blues

3. "I can't love one woman completely without loving all women some."

I absolutely adore this answer! !

4. "Someone should do a case study sometime..."

Have you ever posted the charts? I understand if you'd rather not, for privacy reasons. But it would be intriguing to look at.

9. "Everything's connected. You can't just aspect one thing in my chart without aspecting half the fricking chart. So either a partner isn't going to stick at all, or they're going to get tangled up in half my life."

Wow...yeah I see what you mean...

Well you are fun, so they should thank you.

@Rosalind

Please bump the thread in IA where we were talking, if there's any progress?

3. "It depends. If I feel the love faded ages ago and I didn't realise it until the new guy appeared, then yes."

I like this answer ~ reminds me of one of my favorite little sayings: "You won't know what you need until someone gives it to you."

Not sure if it's clear why I said that. I just mean, we can bury our needs, and others will come along fulfilling and thus excavating them.

I like all your Scorpio/Pluto. It shows. [/B]

---

posted August 21, 2015 02:55 PM            

------------------
I seem to have loved you in numberless forms...

AstroMandala