posted August 16, 2015 02:23 PM            

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1. Is it very important to you to feel totally in love in a relationship?

2. Will you break it off if or when that feeling fades?

3. Would you stay in a relationship if you found yourself attracted to someone else, even if you didn't act on it? In other words, do you take your own "emotional cheating" (even if it's unrequited) as a sign that your relationship is doomed or unhealthy? Would you prefer that your partner break it off with you, if they feel attracted to someone else?

4. What's the longest relationship you've had?

5. Have you ever ended a relationship because you think your partner is attracted to someone else, but not actually cheating?

6. Do you know any long-term couples who match your ideal of love and marriage?

7. If you were married with children, would that affect your standards, do you think?

8. After you are broken up with someone you once loved, how likely are you to retain some affection for that person?

9. What in your chart explains your answers above?

posted August 16, 2015 02:45 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
For curiosity's sake! This thread is inspired by a recent conversation with some hard-core romantics on a certain Pisces thread.

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1. Is it very important to you to feel totally in love in a relationship?
>> yes

2. Will you break it off if or when that feeling fades?
>> yes & no because of the complexities of love i.e is it just a stage of love. in the past I didnt, had never been in love with a partner and felt too scared to tell them. Learning from that lesson, if I lay next to someone and didn't want to be with them, had to censor my feelings rather than wanting to connect I'd leave.

3. Would you stay in a relationship if you found yourself attracted to someone else, even if you didn't act on it? In other words, do you take your own "emotional cheating" (even if it's unrequited) as a sign that your relationship is doomed or unhealthy?

If I'd made the right choice I.e it was a unique love who I'd choose again above someone I felt attraction for, I'd not cheat or consider it emotional cheating but I would feel disloyal and I'd mentally avoid it too. I don't invest lightly so to yearn tI be with someone else would be a sign to me something was very wrong and having only one life, I'd act on it but it would be all in risk not on the sly.

4. What's the longest relationship you've had?

>>5 yrs

5. Have you ever ended a relationship because you think your partner is attracted to someone else, but not actually cheating?

>> no but I would cause the R/ship to breakdown and Ive stopped pursuing one on that basis

6. Do you know any long-term couples who match your ideal of love and marriage?

>>Only one of 10 years. There's mutual love and attraction, they laugh, easy-going but don't walk from challenges, supportive, separate interests

7. If you were married with children, would that affect your standards, do you think?

>>Yes in the past. Since I'm single with children and think it's a good way to live now, no.

8. After you are broken up with someone you once loved, how likely are you to retain some affection for that person?

>>Very

9. What in your chart explains your answers above?

>> venus sq saturn, moon conj neptune, uranus scorpio Asc, sag moon

Thanks for any replies...I know this is literally asking a lot.

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that was therapeutic

posted August 16, 2015 03:16 PM            

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posted August 16, 2015 03:18 PM            

2. Will you break it off if or when that feeling fades?
Yes. Especially if things are turning sour.

3. Would you stay in a relationship if you found yourself attracted to someone else, even if you didn't act on it? In other words, do you take your own "emotional cheating" (even if it's unrequited) as a sign that your relationship is doomed or unhealthy? Would you prefer that your partner break it off with you, if they feel attracted to someone else?

I'm very focused on current partners so if I start looking at the sides, it means I'm not sexually/emotionally satisfied and I will leave.

4. What's the longest relationship you've had?
4 months (you asked haha)

5. Have you ever ended a relationship because you think your partner is attracted to someone else, but not actually cheating?
Indeed, yes. I tolerate looking or confessing someone's cute, but I can tell if there's a stronger sexual feeling to it and I will leaveee

6. Do you know any long-term couples who match your ideal of love and marriage?
No, everyone's either divorced or miserable. (I'm not even kidding)

7. If you were married with children, would that affect your standards, do you think?
I actively DISLIKE children so it's kind of N/A

8. After you are broken up with someone you once loved, how likely are you to retain some affection for that person?
I'm very likely to have the urge of poisoning them with cyanide

9. What in your chart explains your answers above?

posted August 16, 2015 03:29 PM            

1. Is it very important to you to feel totally in love in a relationship?

Hm. Not sure what is meant here. For me, there is only "in love" and "not in love" (like a yes/no switch), but not really anything in between such as "partly in love" vs. "totally in love"…so I guess given that caveat, yes, I need to be "in love" (loving someone) to be in a relationship, otherwise I start to have bad dreams about unburied corpses and other such disgusting stuff on a daily basis until I end it. Not joking. With love I don't mean infatuation, btw. Love is the condition that makes me willing to take a bullet for the other person. It's thus much more than infatuation, but less of a "thrill" (although at the beginning there might be both things at the same time). Infatuation to me is a mental condition and I'm quite happy when it's not present in my mind.

2. Will you break it off if or when that feeling fades?

See answer above. Yes, I cannot "fake" feelings of love that aren't there and think it's only fair to set the other person free to hopefully find true love elsewhere.

3. Would you stay in a relationship if you found yourself attracted to someone else, even if you didn't act on it? In other words, do you take your own "emotional cheating" (even if it's unrequited) as a sign that your relationship is doomed or unhealthy? Would you prefer that your partner break it off with you, if they feel attracted to someone else?

Hm. I don't see "being attracted to someone" as emotional cheating in that sense. That would require some sort of inappropriate action on my part as well. Some people are just attractive, it's not their fault, neither is it mine. The question is what one actually does about it. I'm not prompted to act on such a feeling (which may occur rather rarely in any case) other than having a friendly chat here and there. To me that's completely different from being in love with someone which is a very all-encompassing state for me. No reason to leave the person I love just because I see an attractive bloke somewhere, that would be really strange. If I feel someone I met and find attractive gets the wrong idea (starts flirting with me for real) I put some distance between us fast or tell them off. But usually they get the clue because I tend to talk about my SO from the beginning and make it clear I'm not free, and not looking for something either. I find cheaters unattractive so if someone doesn't respect that, or is in a relationship as well but still flirts with me, my attraction wears off real fast.

4. What's the longest relationship you've had?

13 years.

5. Have you ever ended a relationship because you think your partner is attracted to someone else, but not actually cheating?

No, same as in question 3 I don't think it's a problem for them to like/feel somewhat attracted to other people, as long as they treat the thing similarly as I do. The guys I like usually do, and otherwise, I don't like them

6. Do you know any long-term couples who match your ideal of love and marriage?

Yes.

7. If you were married with children, would that affect your standards, do you think?

Only insofar that it could delay any practical decisions I have to make regarding the relationship, such as moving out, officially breaking it off etc., to be very sure I don't make a mistake in judgment. Without a child to consider I would be much quicker to take action. Our child was the reason it took me almost two years to separate from my ex because I wanted to be sure the conditions would be bearable for her, which included making the separation as respectful, amicable and non-confrontional as possible, having finances etc. all sorted out, being completely self-reliant economically, etc to avoid stress with the ex over money, while still trying actively to work on our problems in the hopes of remedying the situation - we were in a crisis, but the love was not completely gone on my part. Only when that turned out to be futile did I give up. Without the child I would have given up much earlier. No cheating was involved on either side though.

8. After you are broken up with someone you once loved, how likely are you to retain some affection for that person?

Very likely if I actually loved them. I think the love doesn't ever really go away, it is merely transformed to a sort of friendship. Maybe to me there's not actually a difference between the two things when I come to think about it, only the intensity changes.

9. What in your chart explains your answers above?

I think I should have heavy Aqua emphasis in my chart to explain the above, but there's zero Aqua and I have no clue where it comes from. Chart ruler (Pluto) in H11 perhaps? Venus sext. Uranus and Mars opp. Uranus? I'm not sure... I do show up in the charts of others (child, exes, present-day lover) as an Aqua-type person quite consistently, and most guys who are/were into me have Aqua Moon and/or Aqua Venus. I'm actually Cancer Sun/Scorp rising and should be the jealous and insecure type but for some reason I'm not. Somehow I feel that if someone is strange/quirky enough to actually like me, they will not easily find a replacement elsewhere, so that may be why I don't feel threatened so easily. I dislike lying/dishonesty and therefore require honesty in my relationship as the basis of everything, including honesty about feelings and think I would notice if that eroded almost immediately. 5th House Aries Moon and Leo Venus perhaps?

posted August 16, 2015 03:42 PM            

2. Will you break it off if or when that feeling fades?
Noooo definitely not. I believe that love comes in waves - to always expect to be on the highest high of a rollercoaster is unrealistic to human nature. Just because something dips (not as in a "dip" in mutual respect but on that endorphin-filled relationship high) doesn't mean it won't rise back up again.

3. Would you stay in a relationship if you found yourself attracted to someone else, even if you didn't act on it? In other words, do you take your own "emotional cheating" (even if it's unrequited) as a sign that your relationship is doomed or unhealthy? Would you prefer that your partner break it off with you, if they feel attracted to someone else?
I've experienced this and chose to stay because I don't believe in leaving something that has proven to stand the test of time for a new attraction that's based more in fantasy then the grounded reality I'm already in. I don't believe in taking the risk even if the little Venus in Aries in the 7th is screaming at me with smothered curiosity.

4. What's the longest relationship you've had?
3 years

5. Have you ever ended a relationship because you think your partner is attracted to someone else, but not actually cheating?
Yes... how hypocritical of me. I had more of a childish ego then and didn't have the depth of perspective that I possess know.

6. Do you know any long-term couples who match your ideal of love and marriage?

No :\

7. If you were married with children, would that affect your standards, do you think?
I'm sure it would - I could no longer take my own thoughts and feelings into consideration as I would have to weigh the psychological costs/benefits of people other than myself. It would complicate things enormously I imagine.

8. After you are broken up with someone you once loved, how likely are you to retain some affection for that person?
Very likely if I knew they were good people and didn't seek out "vengeance" after the fact. That goes a long way with me.

9. What in your chart explains your answers above?
Sun/Saturn/ASC grand trine in Earth

Uranus on the IC - this lends to a fear of instability in the inner life experienced in childhood. My boyfriend has the same aspect and we very much share the same love philosophies

Venus in the 7th - a deep love of harmony and respect towards the tides of romantic feeling

Aquarius Moon/NN in the 5th - a prioritizing of friendship/emotional compatibility over maintaining the status quo of cliche romantic overtures

posted August 16, 2015 04:27 PM            

Hmm, not exactly totally in love. My feelings usually come in cycles. At one moment I will adore my S.O., and then I'll focus my attention onto something else (one-track mind), then back to my S.O. again.

But if the cycle continues without any affectionate feeling for too long, then that let's me know there is trouble.

2. Will you break it off if or when that feeling fades?

Probably not. Feelings are generally temporary, and that feeling of love usually comes back.

3. Would you stay in a relationship if you found yourself attracted to someone else, even if you didn't act on it? In other words, do you take your own "emotional cheating" (even if it's unrequited) as a sign that your relationship is doomed or unhealthy? Would you prefer that your partner break it off with you, if they feel attracted to someone else?

Eh, I have felt physically attracted to other people, but it's more like a simple observation. Most of the time, any kind of attraction I feel to someone else fades away quickly, so I would probably stay.

4. What's the longest relationship you've had?

3 years, but on/off.

5. Have you ever ended a relationship because you think your partner is attracted to someone else, but not actually cheating?

Yes, I'm pretty intolerant. If the attraction is emotional, then I know I am wasting my time in something that won't last.

6. Do you know any long-term couples who match your ideal of love and marriage?

Unfortunately no.

7. If you were married with children, would that affect your standards, do you think?

Edit: oops, didn't catch this one.
I would probably be more demanding in a relationship. Less chance for big mistakes since it affects more people.

8. After you are broken up with someone you once loved, how likely are you to retain some affection for that person?

Usually I put a great deal of distance once the relationship has ended. If there is mutual understanding, then the relationship will end amicably. At times I will feel regret by thinking about past memories, but for the most part I will not verbalize it. There is a reason why it ended.

9. What in your chart explains your answers above?

posted August 16, 2015 04:46 PM            

2. Will you break it off if or when that feeling fades?
Depends on which feeling. If 'the honeymoon love phase' is gone, that's fine. If there is no more real love, then I will break it off for sure. Saves us both a lot of energy. I guess I am kind of a vague and unpredictable partner. I don't care about everything that happened before - if the current situation is not ok for me, and not fixable, I will leave. I don't want a relationship for the sake of it. I need to be in love with them.

3. Would you stay in a relationship if you found yourself attracted to someone else, even if you didn't act on it? In other words, do you take your own "emotional cheating" (even if it's unrequited) as a sign that your relationship is doomed or unhealthy? Would you prefer that your partner break it off with you, if they feel attracted to someone else?
No, I would not stay. I would try to push the feelings down, but if I want to be honest with myself, then I can't deny that they really mean something is wrong with my relationship. Emotional cheating is worse, in my opinion (Well, I guess sexual cheating would be a combination of both for me, but I do feel strongly about emotional cheating). This happened to me at the end of my last relationship, as I got very close (emotionally) to a male friend of mine. I felt horrible guilt for about a week, then analyzed whether the relationship would be worth saving, and then broke it off. Not even to be with him, but just because I couldn't pretend anymore. It wasn't fair. I mean, that wasn't the reason we broke up, either. It just opened my eyes to everything that was wrong with us.
I would definitely prefer the other person to break it off with me if they really wanted someone else.

4. What's the longest relationship you've had?
8 months

5. Have you ever ended a relationship because you think your partner is attracted to someone else, but not actually cheating?
No.

6. Do you know any long-term couples who match your ideal of love and marriage?
My uncle and his partner. They trust each other, they love each other, and they never had to put pressure on each other to make the other stay. They have a fun relationship: they partied together when they were younger (still do sometimes), they cook delicious meals every night together, and they've made a beautiful home together. They have a lot of friends, and they create an atmosphere that family and friends love to be around. That's my ideal.

7. If you were married with children, would that affect your standards, do you think?
Yes, definitely. I would be more inclined to try to fix a relationship going downhill. But if we're married, with children, I would hope that I had chosen carefully enough to not have it go downhill! That said, I'm not sure if I'll ever get married or have children.

8. After you are broken up with someone you once loved, how likely are you to retain some affection for that person?
It depends, but I often feel a little disgusted, and this is because a lot of my relationships became emotionally and sexually abusive towards the end.

posted August 16, 2015 05:07 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DopGang:
I'm learning so much from people's answers. They think about things the way I do and that I couldn't communicate properly.
Tough to answer as relationships have so much dynamic.

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Me, too! Thank you everyone!

posted August 16, 2015 05:07 PM            

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I seem to have loved you in numberless forms...

AstroMandala

posted August 16, 2015 08:17 PM            

2. Yes. Actually I've gotten into a lot of shirts situations becaue of this. Either I'm getting to know someone snd I know I'll never lI've them but they pressure me or my feelings fade bit they don't let me leave. Both those situations got physical! But that's how I know I'll go through it all to leave if I'm not feeling it...

3. No way. It's not fair for the person I am with if that happens and I am on the pursuit of deep intense true love. Emotional cheating is cheating. I would feel super guilty too.

4. 2 years

5. Yes. I've left people for watching porn and staying friends with exes

6. You never know what goes on behind closed doors and that is always the most important part so I don't know.

7. No. A happy single home is better than an unhappy home with two parents

8. No

posted August 16, 2015 08:27 PM            

1. I don't have any desire to be in a serious relationship unless the feelings between us are intense and loving.
So the relationship would never get going at all, unless we had a deep and emotional connection.

2. No, because friendship is more important to me.
I would only break things off, if my partner betrayed my trust or wasn't there for me when I needed him most.

3. People who are sexual (not on the asexual spectrum) are pretty frequently romantically/sexually attracted to others.
I don't see this as a problem and I wouldn't feel bad about it if my partner had crushes, while we were together.
It's unlikely that I would be the one to crush on someone else... simply because that happens once in a blue moon for me (I'm demisexual). Either way, I would choose to stay - because I see this as a non-issue.

4. Technically five years, but that wasn't very stable. My most stable, "normal" relationship lasted two years.

For the most part I'm disinterested in the idea of having a relationship.

5. No and I would never in a million years do this.

6. Hmmm I know that having an "ideal" is unrealistic because nothing will completely live up to that. But if I had to construct my "ideal" - I doubt that I would find *any* couples in the world right now, who match it lol

My odd "ideals" might be due to my Venus/NN in the 11th or Mars/Neptune on DC.

There are too many ways in which my perfect relationship would differ from the norm, for me to list them all.
But - as an example of something "weird" - my partner and I wouldn't be living together at all. We would have separate homes, both before and after we have kids.

We would share parenting responsibilities - so the kids would stay with one person or the other (depending on our schedules). And we would all meet up as a family and do fun things together in our free time. We would also travel a lot!

Actually I just thought of a couple that does match my ideal to some extent: Brangelina! lol

:edit:

quote:

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You never know what goes on behind closed doors and that is always the most important part so I don't know.

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^^ This is true. Good point!
In my answer, I'm referring to the positive parts of the "image" Brangelina have... rather than the reality (which we know not of).

7. Hmm I don't think I would answer any of these questions differently, if I had kids.

8. I always retain affection for those I love or have loved.
I will forever care about the person.

I'm kind of a "hippy" in some ways. I even care about plants I lost, let alone people.

9. What in your chart explains your answers above?

posted August 16, 2015 08:43 PM            

No, not anymore. It used to be when I was younger. Now I'm more interested in mutual respect, devotion, companionship, good sex, and unconditional love (not necessarily "romantic" love).

2. Will you break it off if or when that feeling fades?

Good grief no. EDIT: This answer is in reference to romantic love only.

3. Would you stay in a relationship if you found yourself attracted to someone else, even if you didn't act on it?

Of course. Attraction to someone else has nothing to do with the quality of the current relationship; sometimes it can even enhance the current relationship. Emotional attachment to another person is a different animal all together.

4. What's the longest relationship you've had?

8 years.

5. Have you ever ended a relationship because you think your partner is attracted to someone else, but not actually cheating?

No.

6. Do you know any long-term couples who match your ideal of love and marriage?

No.

7. If you were married with children, would that affect your standards, do you think?

Probably.

8. After you are broken up with someone you once loved, how likely are you to retain some affection for that person?

Very, but it changes significantly, and tends to fade, with time.

9. What in your chart explains your answers above?

posted August 16, 2015 10:32 PM            

Yes. However, I prefer a deep love which consists of true team work. You and your mate are supposed to look after each other when sh!!t goes south.

2. Will you break it off if or when that feeling fades?
No. Usually it doesn't fade with me. Outside stressors are usually the cause of that feeling fading.

3. Would you stay in a relationship if you found yourself attracted to someone else, even if you didn't act on it? In other words, do you take your own "emotional cheating" (even if it's unrequited) as a sign that your relationship is doomed or unhealthy? Would you prefer that your partner break it off with you, if they feel attracted to someone else?

This a three part question. Yes, I would stay in the relationship if I was physically attracted to someone else. Damn, starting something new would require training.

Emotional cheating is just more painful than physical cheating. If I gave someone else what I gave my S.O., I'd need rethink the whole relationship and figure out what is wrong.

I would find out if S.O. was spending time with someone else and break it off with him.

I failed sniffing that out with ex husband due to the fact I was pretty much raising our kid by myself during the marriage.

4. What's the longest relationship you've had?

5+ years and still going.

5. Have you ever ended a relationship because you think your partner is attracted to someone else, but not actually cheating?

Yes. Come to think of it, they were cheating.

6. Do you know any long-term couples who match your ideal of love and marriage?

Katherine Hepburn-Spencer Tracy, Burton-Taylor, Woodward-Newman

7. If you were married with children, would that affect your standards, do you think?
I did that marriage thing and it didn't affect my choice.

8. After you are broken up with someone you once loved, how likely are you to retain some affection for that person?

None

9. What in your chart explains your answers above?

Grand Water Trine with Kite.
Merc in 3H Scorp opp 9H Mars Taurus.
Merc trines 11H Sat in Cancer and 7H Pis Moon.
Saturn and Moon sextile Moon.
etc...

My 2H is Libra Sun-Uranus conjunction with Pluto not quite being able to grab Sun's hand.

Venus is Sagg on my Scorpio IC

Now I have a headache.

posted August 16, 2015 10:34 PM            

A) Yes, I want to be overwhelmed by my love at first...
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2. Will you break it off if or when that feeling fades?

A) No, I don't expect the intensity to last...that would make a normal life to hard. I want to be overwhelmed at first then it slowly grow into something that can be maintained. I do want the devotion, respect, friendship and ability to laugh together to last. Crazy sex is fun at times but cannot be the focus of the relationship forever, the romance is always important but doesn't need to the same intensity it was at first.
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3. Would you stay in a relationship if you found yourself attracted to someone else, even if you didn't act on it? In other words, do you take your own "emotional cheating" (even if it's unrequited) as a sign that your relationship is doomed or unhealthy? Would you prefer that your partner break it off with you, if they feel attracted to someone else?

A) I would stay but realize I was allowing myself to lose focus and I would force myself to turn all my attention back to the person I love and the person who has stood by my side. Respect is respect and he's the one who deserves that. Losing attraction just over it not being as exciting anymore is a lack of appreciation for the love and devotion we have, it's bad on my part and I need to work harder to put that excitement back in it.
If he was feeling attracted to others we would talk about it and see what was going on, maybe we need to change some things and work harder on us.
Maybe I've been getting so lost in the routine I'm not being as sexy as he needs and not doing enough to keep the visual side of any mans nature stimulated or maybe he's just being weak? Who knows but we need to find out and work on it together.
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4. What's the longest relationship you've had?

A) 7-8 years
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5. Have you ever ended a relationship because you think your partner is attracted to someone else, but not actually cheating?

A) No(well is kissing cheating? Because he did kiss someone and that's why I broke it off, it was a brief LD relationship though)
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6. Do you know any long-term couples who match your ideal of love and marriage?

A) Yes,
1st- My dad's side-grandma/step-grandpa married for 37 years until she died. She arranged for my step-grandpas next wife as she was dying. The woman she chose was her hospice nurse that cared for her as she died. She could tell they had feeling for each other. They bonded over loving and taking care of my grandma as she died(that's so beautiful to me)
My step-Grandpa and the nurse have been happily together ever since, 18 years.
My step-Grandpa was also hand picked for my grandma by my natural grandpa as he died of cancer(way before I was born) My biological grandpa and step-grandpa were best friends who served in the war together.
2nd- My dad/step mom married for 27 years strong, still happily together...
3rd- My mom/step dad married for 22 years strong, still happily together....
4th- My brothers married for 24 years strong, still happily together....
5th- My moms mom was married to her husband/my step grandpa until he died, together 47 years....

Funny thing is none of the lasting relationships were the first marriages, it was always the 2nd or 3rd, mostly after everyone hit 30-40...except my brothers he's still on his first marriage. I guess for some maturity and experience are needed to have that kind of relationship.
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7. If you were married with children, would that affect your standards, do you think?

A) Children make me more attached and feel more deeply in love.
That being said I left my children's father because I didn't want them to grow up thinking the way he treated me was acceptable. I wanted them to know if ppl are hurting them they have the right and responsibility to leave and go find happiness elsewhere. So my kids where a huge reason for my leaving him. It was my love for them that inspired me to not accept his behavior because it was setting a bad example for them.
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8. After you are broken up with someone you once loved, how likely are you to retain some affection for that person?

A) Not likely, if we broke up all my feelings where throughly used and ran into the ground. If I had feelings we would still be together. Nobody had ever left me, im the one that gets ran into the ground and has to leave before I fall apart. No feelings left after that!
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9. What in your chart explains your answers above?

posted August 16, 2015 10:47 PM            

- extremely important, yeah

2. Will you break it off if or when that feeling fades?

- yeah, like there's no point in being a relationship with someone you don't have feelings for

3. Would you stay in a relationship if you found yourself attracted to someone else, even if you didn't act on it? In other words, do you take your own "emotional cheating" (even if it's unrequited) as a sign that your relationship is doomed or unhealthy? Would you prefer that your partner break it off with you, if they feel attracted to someone else?

- I'd leave if I was attracted to someone else
- If I knew my partner liked someone else, I'd confront him and end things when he confirms

4. What's the longest relationship you've had?

- rather not say lol

5. Have you ever ended a relationship because you think your partner is attracted to someone else, but not actually cheating?

- never been in that situation but probably would

6. Do you know any long-term couples who match your ideal of love and marriage?

- nope

7. If you were married with children, would that affect your standards, do you think?

- yeah, my children would have to come first

8. After you are broken up with someone you once loved, how likely are you to retain some affection for that person?

- 25%-50% depending on the person

9. What in your chart explains your answers above?

posted August 16, 2015 11:10 PM            

To me there’s only in love or not in love. Everything else in between, I put those in a different category. It is important for me to feel that I’m in love with the person. They cause me to do the most unusual, out of character things.

2.Will you break it off if or when that feeling fades?

Yes. If I'm not in love with the person, there’s no purpose anymore. The relationship will feel empty/zombie-like for me.

3. Would you stay in a relationship if you found yourself attracted to someone else, even if you didn't act on it? In other words, do you take your own "emotional cheating" (even if it's unrequited) as a sign that your relationship is doomed or unhealthy? Would you prefer that your partner break it off with you, if they feel attracted to someone else?

I will talk about my “attraction” first. I love fantasies. People, among many other things, provides the basic “materials. I'm attracted to the fantasies I can weave, not the people themselves. I've been this way since forever. But I'm like this because I allow myself to indulge since I see no reason to stop.

It is easy for me to invite that slight flutter, that heady/intoxicated feeling. It is fleeting, and I like it that way. It’s often gone before I know what it is. Its beauty lies in the fact that it’s so vague and almost impossible for me to analyse. I turn these stimuli, these feelings into real works, so yeah it’s quite important for me.

My relationship with my husband is something else. It's addictive. Out of my control. Gives me highs, drives me mad like nothing else. Makes me go all out turning it into reality and make it permanent. Makes me succumbed.

Now, if I become fixated on someone else, if I want them - not the fantasy, if these little things take on a life of their own and become more than just a moment, if they are no longer mere stimuli that are within my control, yes I will end things. My objectives will change.

It's a big IF, because my relationship takes up like 99% of my loving abilities.

Yes I’d want my husband to the same. Although up to this point it's clear that the only reason he would break up with me is I would have to commit some sort of atrocities and kill off his love. He's in thrall to our relationship "to the point of no return" - he said. To elaborate further would require me to write a few things that may be too TMI for this thread. They show his pluto side though. The more I think about it, the more I see why he's pluto dominant.

4. What's the longest relationship you've had?

+ 5 years and still going.

5. Have you ever ended a relationship because you think your partner is attracted to someone else, but not actually cheating?
No I haven’t. But the definition of “cheating” varies.

6. Do you know any long-term couples who match your ideal of love and marriage?

No.

7. If you were married with children, would that affect your standards, do you think?

I’m married with children. The last thing I want is for them to live with two unhappy, dissatisfied parents.

8. After you are broken up with someone you once loved, how likely are you to retain some affection for that person?

I have affection/fondness for them and want to stay in touch when the both of us have put things to rest. Unless there’s bad blood between us.

quoting myself from the other thread:

They are the keepers of something special, something that we shared, something that tugged on my heart strings, even just in a fleeting moment. They know a part of me, they once were a part of my world and affected me to various degree. I treasure the memories greatly, and I always see these people as "special". My life is a journey, and I feel honoured to have met and shared a little something with them at some points.

9. What in your chart explains your answers above?

posted August 16, 2015 11:25 PM            

absolutely. ride or die

2. Will you break it off if or when that feeling fades?

not necessarily. other factors would have to be taken into consideration. feelings are too impermanent for me to base such a large decision wholly on.

3. Would you stay in a relationship if you found yourself attracted to someone else, even if you didn't act on it? In other words, do you take your own "emotional cheating" (even if it's unrequited) as a sign that your relationship is doomed or unhealthy? Would you prefer that your partner break it off with you, if they feel attracted to someone else?

id take it as a sign that somethings missing. but if enough was there to begin with id be keen on working through it so that missing piece returns.. but if other stuff is falling apart it just might be the straw that breaks the camel's back. i don't know how to answer the second part of the question... i think so? depends how attracted.. physically is one thing but physically, emotionally, romantically.. yeah break up with me.

4. What's the longest relationship you've had?

near 4 years

5. Have you ever ended a relationship because you think your partner is attracted to someone else, but not actually cheating?

haven't had that happen to me yet

6. Do you know any long-term couples who match your ideal of love and marriage?

one in real life. family friends. they are both capricorns, married out of high school, have one child (now about 22), and worked like hell to have the life they have. have a gorgeous near 5K sq ft house, 3 cars etc and are still really down to earth and humble. when they don't get on they bicker like hell and fight like hell like yelling and screaming but it's all over in a heart beat because everything is automatically out in the open. nothing builds up. other than those times it's like they share the same mind. like a well oiled machine. they don't see each other probably as much as other couples because the husband works long hours but they incredible good together. they each know their roles and handle their business.

they're not the most physically affectionate.. as in PDA but i remember when they first bought their house the wife couldn't sleep at night worrying about the mortgage. thing is it was a small mortgage and everyone was telling her it was nothing to worry about but she still couldn't sleep through the night. so her husband just started working double even triple shifts for the rest of the year and paid the mortgage off by new years eve. i always wanted a love like that. talk is cheap to us capricorns. so i don't mind having a man thats not the most affectionate but will work to make sure i'm happy and can sleep at night with no worries. hell i'd marry him myself if i could haha

they're funny together too. like one time my mum went over and said to the husband 'i'm going to steal your wife now' and he just replies 'oh good! take her far away and don't bring her back' XP

7. If you were married with children, would that affect your standards, do you think?

maybe some more patience towards each other but my standards don't change much, especially for teamwork.

if he treats me or the kids like **** i'm out. ill give couples counselling a go but if it's not doing anything then i'm not going to be stupid and drown with a sinking ship. we'd both have to be for saving whatever we have. if it's just me then i'm not going to beg any man for love and loyalty that he doesn't want to give. in situation like that.. well other than my future children i can't see myself loving anyone more than i love myself

8. After you are broken up with someone you once loved, how likely are you to retain some affection for that person?

yes. just because i'm not longer in love with you doesn't mean ill stop loving you period. unless it was a bad break up or you did me wrong i will always love you in some way. if it was a bad break up or you did me wrong then hell no. die in a ditch for all i care, my heart is ice cold towards you. it's like a switch for me. theres something or absolutely nothing at all.

9. What in your chart explains your answers above?

posted August 16, 2015 11:36 PM            

absolutely. ride or die

2. Will you break it off if or when that feeling fades?

not necessarily. other factors would have to be taken into consideration. feelings are too impermanent for me to base such a large decision wholly on.

3. Would you stay in a relationship if you found yourself attracted to someone else, even if you didn't act on it? In other words, do you take your own "emotional cheating" (even if it's unrequited) as a sign that your relationship is doomed or unhealthy? Would you prefer that your partner break it off with you, if they feel attracted to someone else?

id take it as a sign that somethings missing. but if enough was there to begin with id be keen on working through it so that missing piece returns.. but if other stuff is falling apart it just might be the straw that breaks the camel's back. i don't know how to answer the second part of the question... i think so? depends how attracted.. physically is one thing but physically, emotionally, romantically.. yeah break up with me.

4. What's the longest relationship you've had?

near 4 years

5. Have you ever ended a relationship because you think your partner is attracted to someone else, but not actually cheating?

haven't had that happen to me yet

6. Do you know any long-term couples who match your ideal of love and marriage?

family friends. they are both capricorns, married out of high school, have one child (now about 22), and worked like hell to have the life they have. have a gorgeous near 5K sq ft house, 3 cars etc and are still really down to earth and humble. when they don't get on they bicker like hell and fight like hell like yelling and screaming but it's all over in a heart beat because everything is automatically out in the open. nothing builds up. other than those times it's like they share the same mind. like a well oiled machine. they don't see each other probably as much as other couples because the husband works long hours but they incredible good together. they each know their roles and handle their business.

they're not the most physically affectionate..but i remember when they first bought their house the wife couldn't sleep at night worrying about the mortgage. thing is it was a small mortgage and everyone was telling her it was nothing to worry about but she still couldn't sleep through the night. so her husband just started working double even triple shifts for the rest of the year and paid the mortgage off by new years eve.

i always wanted a love like that. talk is cheap to us capricorns. so i don't mind having a man thats not the most affectionate but will work to make sure i'm happy and can sleep at night with no worries. hell i'd marry him myself if i could haha

they're funny together too. like one time my mum went over and said to the husband 'i'm going to steal your wife now' and he just replies 'oh good! take her far away and don't bring her back' XP

but if i get divorced my role model would be my parents.. when i'm in trouble or if its anything to do with me all their issues fly out the window and they work together. to this day they've known each other 25 years, have me, not romantically together but are each others best friend. theres some real ride or die loyalty between the two of them most likely cause they've been through some crazy stuff together. can't just cut ties completely after stuff like that

7. If you were married with children, would that affect your standards, do you think?

maybe some more patience towards each other but my standards don't change much, especially for teamwork.

if he treats me or the kids like **** i'm out. ill give couples counselling a go but if it's not doing anything then i'm not going to be stupid and drown with a sinking ship. we'd both have to be for saving whatever we have. if it's just me then i'm not going to beg any man for love and loyalty that he doesn't want to give. in situation like that.. well other than my future children i can't see myself loving anyone more than i love myself

8. After you are broken up with someone you once loved, how likely are you to retain some affection for that person?

yes. just because i'm not longer in love with you doesn't mean ill stop loving you period. unless it was a bad break up or you did me wrong i will always love you in some way. if it was a bad break up or you did me wrong then hell no. die in a ditch for all i care, my heart is ice cold towards you. it's like a switch for me. theres something or absolutely nothing at all.

9. What in your chart explains your answers above?

my capricorn stellium hands down! and my venus in scorpio conjunct pluto in scorpio

posted August 17, 2015 06:03 AM            

1. Is it very important to you to feel totally in love in a relationship?
Yes it is important to feel loved. TOTALLY?? What is that ? lol...

2. Will you break it off if or when that feeling fades?
No, As I feel love is always there maybe sometimes there is difficulty to convey that continuously because of practical life so I believe that sometimes ebb and flow is good.

3. Would you stay in a relationship if you found yourself attracted to someone else, even if you didn't act on it? In other words, do you take your own "emotional cheating" (even if it's unrequited) as a sign that your relationship is doomed or unhealthy? Would you prefer that your partner break it off with you, if they feel attracted to someone else?

No, I do not think my emotional thoughts/ cheating has anything to do with relationship is doomed or unhealthy but my curiosity.
Yes I would expect my partner break off he was seriously attracted to someone else.

4. What's the longest relationship you've had?
7 years

5. Have you ever ended a relationship because you think your partner is attracted to someone else, but not actually cheating?
No I have never.

6. Do you know any long-term couples who match your ideal of love and marriage?
No, I don't except some media couples but they also have their share of troubles so NO.

7. If you were married with children, would that affect your standards, do you think?
No, because my answers are based on already having a child.

8. After you are broken up with someone you once loved, how likely are you to retain some affection for that person?
I would have affection but that doesn't mean I would like to have any contact after it has been decided that it is time to move on.

9. What in your chart explains your answers above?