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Author
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Topic: Age gaps in relationships .. What's your limit?
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Faith
Knowflake Posts: 21731
From: Bella's Hair Salon
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted October 16, 2015 08:31 PM
  
Loved reading that mirage! Straight from the heart-- how rare and lovely!  ROTFL about the lady with a bad cough and no relatives. Oh it's sad but..."bad cough"  If I'm ever single again I just picture myself doing every kind of totally greedy and self-centered thing I was unable to do while married. Ahhhhhh  edit Sorry to be a marriage grinch but Venus and Neptune are squaring my Venus-Neptune today... IP: Logged |
DopGang
Knowflake Posts: 3194
From: MBTI - INTJ -- Enneagram - 5w6
Registered: Jun 2015
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posted October 16, 2015 08:54 PM
^^^ There's a part of me that always is and always will be. LOL
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Faith
Knowflake Posts: 21731
From: Bella's Hair Salon
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted October 16, 2015 08:57 PM
^^ High five.ETA: Sorry for going off topic but when I consider what my age preferences might be if I were single, I just panic at the thought of getting into another serious relationship, no matter what his age is! I'll be too busy doing girl things..pedicures, spas, quilting bees, red sports cars, whatever. IP: Logged |
mirage29
Knowflake Posts: 14538
From: us
Registered: May 2012
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posted October 16, 2015 11:49 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Soltze:
Mirage29: I had no idea Saturn in the 11th was one of the culprits :-DI have Saturn Rx in the 11th as well, but...in Capricorn. Look, despite age what you should keep in mind is that almost everybody dislikes something about their physique. It shouldn't make you unhappy or insecure. Plus: if someone is attracted to you and showing it...then believe them! There are so many things that can be sexy like...as many people there are in the planet. Me for example: I don't dig pretty boys with lots of muscles and a beach tan lool.
I will drool on that silver haired male librarian with glasses who knows his sh**. There you go...preferences don't always match logic or what's conventional. Beauty and sexiness is subjective in the end of the day. LOL And come back. LL is made for ranting, and sometimes confession will be a little outrageous :-P
What a great response, Soltze! I usually don't whole-quote people, but what you said means so much! Thanks  QUOTE: "Beauty and sexiness is subjective in the end of the day. LOL" I'm laughing! And thanks for your warm note of invitation to join your rants and True Confessions!  Yes, this was fun! So kind of you.
So, Faith?! ... Some day we'll have to have to rent a copy of movie Legally Blonde, and go drive off in a convertible to seek adventure, and JUST have Fun!!
Invite Everybody!!! Parteeey~~ We're breaking out!!   (music) Girls Just Wanna Have Fun (Cyndi Lauper; Taryn Southern) [2:35] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cuvvo1_8DzE IP: Logged |
mirage29
Knowflake Posts: 14538
From: us
Registered: May 2012
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posted October 17, 2015 12:50 AM
12Muddy left this song in a different thread. The singer's image on his album cover places him in the definitely-too-young category, but my!, what a phenomenal spirit! 
Thanks, Muddy!! (music) First Kiss (Alexander Rybak) [3:03] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yy_SCQ7Fk9c IP: Logged |
ikindalikecookies
Knowflake Posts: 36
From:
Registered: Oct 2015
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posted October 17, 2015 12:55 AM
At most 5 years older, no more than 1 year younger. I don't wanna stray too much from my age lolIP: Logged |
venus2tinkerbell
unregistered
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posted October 17, 2015 01:52 AM
I have Venus sextile Saturn. I have always gone for older. I thought a younger man just couldn't cut it. My last relationship was 3 years with a man 6 years younger, and he was the most serious and committed person I've been with (beating out my husband of 12 years, who is 10 years older). When I was ready to end it he fought for the relationship tooth and nail. He wasn't immature. He was just inexperienced. Kudos to the young guys! I prefer the way older men make me feel. I like to be spoiled and pampered like a little girl. It's true. If I'm going for the long haul it's my Cancer Sun/Venus that need to be catered to- and Leo I guess. Cancer is the mother and the eternal girl.
I always thought this had to do with my daddy issues, but I had a thought the other day. I'm a workaholic who feels she needs to be the rock for her entire family including mom and dad. I don't have time for social events. I only have time for one relationship with someone who is equally busy or maybe only slightly less busy. When we get together, I want to forget responsibility. And even if we share life and responsibility I still want someone who knows how to take control and make me let go of it once in a while. This is usually something an older man has no problem with. I'm 36 and I like men in their late 40s early 50s. Right now he's 16 years older. No limit I guess. I've dated 30 years older. I do have to say that I really appreciate and enjoy that this man at 52 is the best looking man with the sexiest body I've ever been with. So I didn't have to sacrifice looks for experience. Nice superficial plus.
edit. Lol. Ima editing fool. IP: Logged |
venus2tinkerbell
unregistered
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posted October 17, 2015 03:15 AM
I'll add that my relationship with an older man when I was 18 (this was with my 1st husband 12 years older) did teach me a lot. There's no way I'd do it differently. But because I was so young even though we laughed and talked about everything and the sex was passionate, it was less fulfilling than it is now that I am older and have gotten to know myself. I was lucky my first husband was a decent man because he had a lot of influence and control.IP: Logged |
Leo-Cancer98
Knowflake Posts: 1704
From: Toronto,Ontario,Canada
Registered: Nov 2014
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posted January 14, 2021 01:56 PM
quote:
Originally posted by deptic:
45 (srs)I'm rarely attracted to someone my age or younger, (I'm 19).
Haha, same. I’ve had the same crush since I was 15, I’m 23 now and we’re together. He’s 37, but looks 30 when we’re out in public 😁 IP: Logged |
Dumuzi
Knowflake Posts: 3300
From:
Registered: Oct 2018
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posted January 14, 2021 02:13 PM
if it's legal then 🤷♀️ i prefer people around my age though generallyIP: Logged |
sis
Knowflake Posts: 604
From:
Registered: Mar 2011
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posted January 14, 2021 05:36 PM
what a coincedence ! I recently lost my long distance love to a 25 year old... Another friend of mine recently got married with a 25 year old... In both cases, age difference is 20... I argued days and nights with my lost love on the subject. I have tried to make peace with age difference. When I was young I did have affairs a couple of times with men 15 years older than me... But they were like an adventure really.. plus cant say I enjoyed them...
Anyways, I could not succeed in making peace...
Last week, I was at the studio, this young dj arrived. We started chatting. He is 28. I am 46. A wonderful sweet guy. I looked at him. So young... his skin... his innocence...a baby... flirting with me.. mentioning his ex-girl friend was 42 years old...sweet... as I was talking and looking at his age... I remembered the girl - my lost love calls her geisha - is 25 years old.. Younger than this lad... it just does not feel right to me... I dont respect my lost love and my friend anymore... Also, I quickly loose interest in a man into very young women... They shrink...They loose all the charisma... That does not mean it is wrong. I dont know what is right or wrong... But cant help but get an iffy feeling about old man-woman - young woman-man... I am a quartet Capricorn with Uranian flavour...
Up to 10 years, I see no problem...But I feel safer with my age group.
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SoulOfABird
Knowflake Posts: 1121
From: California
Registered: Sep 2017
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posted January 15, 2021 06:20 AM
I notice I am so often attracted to guys born in the 80's. I rarely like guys my age. I just prefer guys older than me, but not by more than maybe 15 years. I would say 15 years is my limit. Or basically guys born anywhere from after 1983 to my age.IP: Logged |
Librapurr
Knowflake Posts: 953
From:
Registered: Jul 2019
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posted January 15, 2021 10:40 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Soltze:
Me for example: I don't dig pretty boys with lots of muscles and a beach tan lool.
I will drool on that silver haired male librarian with glasses who knows his sh**. There you go...preferences don't always match logic or what's conventional.Beauty and sexiness is subjective in the end of the day. LOL
I just need to see something special. Also, not younger. He should be at least couple years older. When I was younger, I was attracted to much older people. Gradually, I started to notice men with less age gap.
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sashavittoria
Knowflake Posts: 201
From:
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted January 15, 2021 04:23 PM
Oh my gosh... Thank you for posting this. My husband is 22 years older than me. The relationship came as a big surprise, since neither of us had been attracted to a significant age difference before. Someone above said Venus-Saturn aspects so I checked and... We have DOUBLE WHAMMY Venus conjunct Saturn! Edit: my sun and moon conjunct my Venus, so his Saturn conjuncts them too. Then his Sun is conjunct his Venus, so my Saturn conjuncts his Sun too. So there is also a double whammy Sun-Saturn conjunction.Individually, I also have Capricorn in my 7th house (and he's the second romantic interest I've shared a workplace with). Saturn is in my 8th house. I don't know if it plays into this, but my moon, Venus, and Mercury are all in the 10th, along with Juno. Natally, my Venus and Saturn make no aspect. Dopgang mentioned Uranus - mine is in Cap in my 7th house, with Neptune there too, conjunct Uranus. That puts my 8th house in Aqua (where my husband's sun falls). Soooo it looks like being with an older man was literally written in my stars. I don't see anything in his chart that seems to indicate he'd be interested in younger people though. (His last girlfriend before me was a couple years older than him.) mirage29 said Aries on the IC, but he only has Mars and Chiron in Aries in his 4th house. (Leonardo DiCaprio, who notoriously only dates women under 25, has Aries on his descendant, but no planets nearby, only Vertex. I wonder if there is some compensation going on there as most of his planets are in Scorpio and Libra, his second and first houses, respectively.) Aside from the astrology behind it... I agree with what Faith said, "I've gotten so used to him and men in his age group (his relatives and friends) that men my own age (39) seem like kids to me." I wouldn't rule out dating someone my own age again but they are so annoying to me now. lol I also agree where I think Odette said that after a certain age, age really is just a number. It's one thing to date someone who's not fully "developed" yet (biologically or psychologically) but I think after a certain point of maturity it's really irrelevant. I am in many ways the more "mature" one, psychologically, in my relationship, and I parent him more than he parents me. (But maybe that's also my Cancer ascendant and SN lol) I have also read that if you have older parents, you're more likely to be attracted to older people. My father was 49 when I was born and my mom was 43. I think that also makes an impact because it's not like I'm dating someone "my dad's age" (our fathers were actually born a week apart, and our mothers were born about a month apart - talk about family karma!) even though he technically *is* old enough to be my father. I'm totally with mirage on this :
quote:
Me for example: I don't dig pretty boys with lots of muscles and a beach tan lool.
I will drool on that silver haired male librarian with glasses who knows his sh**.
Because I'm still young (in my late 20s) I haven't had much experience dating people younger than me, though I have a little. The most I was attracted to was a woman around 4 years younger. But ultimately, like other factors such as race and gender, I consider age somewhat irrelevant. I fall for people because of who they are. I think venus2tinkerbell hit the nail on the head here:
quote:
My last relationship was 3 years with a man 6 years younger, and he was the most serious and committed person I've been with (beating out my husband of 12 years, who is 10 years older). When I was ready to end it he fought for the relationship tooth and nail. He wasn't immature. He was just inexperienced. Kudos to the young guys!
There's a distinction between immaturity and inexperience. There is physical age and then there is psychological age. Someone can be mature but inexperienced, and a lot of older people are experienced but immature! As I think a lot of us on this forum have learned over the years, there is such a thing as "soul age". And I know for me, intelligence/wisdom/experience are big turn-ons. And ultimately, you forget about the age difference. It was weird for the first few weeks but after that it really ceases to be a factor except when nosy people ask. ------------------
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sis
Knowflake Posts: 604
From:
Registered: Mar 2011
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posted January 16, 2021 03:23 AM
sashavittoria@ may I learn for how long have you been together ? About Venus- Saturn; I have the opposition nataly and maybe thats why I have such a disdain for age gap in relationships
( I have Asc, sun, mercury, venus in Cap in the 1st house and Saturn in the 7th ) Also, another thing I have observed; is the culture playing a role in having extreme age difference in partnerships ? Such as Russian women prefer older men ? Cause in all the examples I have given - 20 years age diffence - girls are Russian... Geisha's ( thats what my lost love call her ) first boyfriend was 15 years older than her. He was 28 - she was 13. They dated for 7 seven years. The girl's mother was OK with it. In many countries, he would go to jail for this. See, I have a nephew who is 13. I look at her, she is still a child ! If I see anyone much older having a sexual interest in her, I will turn his life into hell. But I would not mind she experimenting with her age group...
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MoonMystic
Knowflake Posts: 4896
From:
Registered: Nov 2016
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posted January 16, 2021 04:14 AM
Way before marriage, when I was about 23, 24, I had a bf 19 that turned 20. All my bfs besides him were 6.5 years my senior. One or two much older. Like 22 years. TBH I found the older ones attractive, no they were not loaded. One had previously owned a comic book store but he worked, was not well to do.
As far as his connecting, he and I aligned well. He was open to learning, and knew much.
My IC is Aries and younger men did show interest in me before and after marriage. If I were single, I don't believe I could trust that the younger person, beyond a couple years, could want me, due to status. However I even wonder how much we might have in common. I have an older hubby, even he doesn't align to me. This is the curse of being a triple star girl. Aqua is a loner. Another Aqua might be different, if say I had mated with a younger Aqua, we might understand ine eachother better. (I'm a lifer though) Hubby does have Saturn in Aqua.
As for the age, anyone here ever see Harold and Maude? http://youtu.be/0ZzNlA9uZ0g
It's a dark comedy but it is so sweet. His love of her is powerful. I once had a very good friend who fell inlove with a professor. 35 years her senior, they married. She's the one who introduced me to that film.IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 18329
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 16, 2021 03:17 PM
Around my own age. My sister married a much older man, and she likes any movie or book that portrays relationships with age gaps like hers. IP: Logged |
sis
Knowflake Posts: 604
From:
Registered: Mar 2011
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posted January 16, 2021 05:42 PM
quote:
Originally posted by teasel:
Around my own age. My sister married a much older man, and she likes any movie or book that portrays relationships with age gaps like hers.
it might be a common thing for people in relationships with age gaps.. my lost love kept recommending me movies portraying old man-young woman in a relationship... IP: Logged |
mee_chryssa
Knowflake Posts: 620
From: Romania
Registered: Jun 2020
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posted January 16, 2021 06:13 PM
The outer planets placements for people older than me with 4 years at least don't make for a good romantic pair - Uranus/Neptune opposite my Mars and square my Sun. For those younger than me with 2-3 years, their Saturn square my Moon and the composite Saturn also squares my Moon, so I suppose they have to be with at least 6-7 years younger than me and those born at that time are very immature and too different than me to be with them.
So it was meant to be like that, 2 years, 3 years older than me. Even if I dated older or younger than me, it didn't work out.
I have Neptune conjunct Juno natally and the guy has to have Neptune in Capricorn conjunct a personal planet.IP: Logged |
GalacticCoreExplosion
unregistered
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posted January 16, 2021 09:10 PM
Ah yeah, 13 years old is definitely a child! IP: Logged |
Leo-Cancer98
Knowflake Posts: 1704
From: Toronto,Ontario,Canada
Registered: Nov 2014
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posted April 20, 2021 08:23 AM
quote:
Originally posted by GalacticCoreExplosion:
Ah yeah, 13 years old is definitely a child!
True! IP: Logged |
Cappyshroom23
Newflake Posts: 18
From:
Registered: May 2020
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posted April 21, 2021 11:31 AM
When I was in my early twenties I dated men 6 months younger than me and didn’t like that I was older! Now I’m 47 and dating a 30 year old but the age gap is so extreme it’s interesting and fascinating. His lingo even is interesting and his Uranus conjunction my mercury btw. I’ve also dated 9 years older fir a few years before him and honestly find that this younger boyfriend treats me more seriously as his girlfriend. He’s the first guy that actually spends money on me instead of trying to mooch off of me or treat me as an equal. It’s like he’s old fashioned lol... His generation has a stelliem of outer planets in Capricorn that conjunct my sun and his north node conjuncts my Venus and vertex. The north node is destiny I didn’t seek him out he asked me out. He jokingly lied about his age but I knew he wasn’t 45 he was 27 when we met. I have never had a type maybe because my Venus is in Aquarius. Also my Mars (the type of guy I am attracted to) is in opposition to Uranus which would make for unusual men, not the norm. Also my boyfriend had a painful surgery at 18. I think dealing with difficult body issues when young matures you and I have Venus in the sixth house conjunct Jupiter so I think I attract men with possible health issues.IP: Logged |
Eternal Energy
Knowflake Posts: 533
From:
Registered: May 2020
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posted April 21, 2021 04:42 PM
I do have a preferable age difference, up to 10 years, and this applies only to men older than me! I have never had a relationship with anyone younger than me.There is a young man I keep meeting almost every day. He must be around 30. When I enter his place, he gives me his widest smile and then he stares. And then starts talking to me, but it's like he's lost. He always comes so close and he always touches my hand. Anyway, I can sense that he is about to say something more than the usual and on Friday I intend to let him know how old I am. I look much younger than my age, but I could never be in a relationship with a younger man. IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 141859
From: Your Friendly Neighborhood Juris Doctorate.
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 21, 2021 10:52 PM
I was eating at a restaurant, and my server was talking to her co-worker about how terrible that her 20-year-old friend is dating someone who is almost 60. I asked her if she would date Johnny Depp. She emphatically said she would. I reminded her that Depp is 57. The moral of the story is that most people have a number limit in mind that is too large...until they don’t. I don’t know what the server’s friends’ placements are.IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 18329
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 21, 2021 11:32 PM
I'm still not into older men, and I'm not really into younger men, either, although I've seen a few relationships that seem to be working out, where the man is about a decade younger. I have a friend who is happily married to a younger man, who was only supposed to be a fling. She didn't want to get married again, but she and another Taurus friend, who didn't want to get married, both decided around the same time, to make it legal with their boyfriends. I also follow an actress on instagram (Katee Sackhoff - she's so down to earth, and just seems to love her life). She's engaged to a man who is ten years younger, and they look very happy together. She's alluded to her last boyfriend not being so great, and he was older. IP: Logged |
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