posted December 14, 2015 03:39 AM              

quote:

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Originally posted by babybull82:
Wow, in ALL of my 10+ yrs of dealing with Scorpio men I have never seen anybody explain it as simply as this and it's 100% TRUE!!!

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posted December 14, 2015 06:41 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dancing Maenad:
I don't think you were just a conquest, that's not how they act when you don't mean anything to them. He wouldn't have bothered ignoring you on purpose, if you meant nothing to him he just wouldn't care at all if you live or die, if you see someone else or not. You meant something to him and I believe he was honest when he said this is hurting him more than it hurts you, because he was living in this hell which he had created, filled with insecurity and paranoia, long before you broke it off. They just can't trust good people and good things happening to them and they can't accept love that wasn't fought for with tears, anguish and despair. Because that's how they know it's love... It's sad, really, and in my opinion they do need professional counseling. Even the more stable ones tend to provoke some sort of drama just to see if you still love them.

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Thanks so much for these words.

I am not a vengeful or bitter person, I have been treated a lot worse and don't / won't wish him ill.

My problem has always been taking things deeply to heart, deeply personally and while I wish him well in sorting out his "issues" I would not like to be too damaged or lose my own trust and confidence from his trange behavior.

I do hope your words were right, that he did care, but that he has issues being close with people.

He has certainly been single for a lot of years and yet says he is lonely.

I wonder in a sense is beginning an affair with someone 5000 miles away is not easier for him to manage.

I will try my best to lick my wounds and move on, trying to remember that there's nothing wrong with me and I just met a very messed up human being.

posted December 14, 2015 06:57 AM            

"I can't put into words how terrible I feel that I have upset you. The least I can do is to give you the truth, which is that I met her briefly once just before we got together and she has been messaging me ever since. I realise I should not have been messaging her but it was not romantic and I thought I would never see her again. I knew she had feelings for me that were romantic but I didn't share them.

I find it hard to explain exactly what went on in my head, but I have rarely been in a position with a girl chasing me, I am lonely, I am insecure and I felt like you wanted to end things with me anyway. When she said she was visiting and arranged to meet up with me I felt like it was safe as she lived so far away and I know I should have been honest but I have made bad decisions that were selfish and based probably on me enjoying the attention a bit too much.

If we had met earlier, I think you would have loved me. I think we would have been together but my breakup affected me. I can't get close to people because I am too scared. I did like you. I do still like you. I am the one who will suffer from this, not you. I am insecure and losing you is a big loss for me and now I will find myself alone again.

Historically this is not me. I have never behaved like this before and I feel shame. This change has only been recent in me and I know I need to address it.

I feel like I want to hug you, or do something or say something that will go some way to fix how bad I have made you feel. I know that sounds silly but I would like you to trust me again and for things to be as they were before with us. Seeing you upset makes me upset. I care really deeply for you, even though I haven't acted like it.

It doesn't have to be over for us if we don't want it to be. If you would ever want to see me again, I would want that. Or even if you just wanted to be friends. It hurts me and it feels weird to not see or speak to you again. I am so sorry babe, and if this is what you want then I will respect your wishes.

*******

So he sent that, and then cut me off, iced me out and ignored me.

I think that behavior was the part Ifound most confusing and painful As it would have meant something to me strangely if he had shown the care to me as a friend that he had failed to show as a boyfriend.

I hope that makes sense.

posted December 15, 2015 12:02 AM              

He prolly just wanted you both, truthfully. Guys don't do pity lays and I'm surprised people here are implying they do.

posted December 15, 2015 12:37 AM            

Please have some respect for YOURSELF by not gettig involved with him again.

posted December 16, 2015 08:19 AM            

I think really as a Scorpio I do feel things deeply. Especially lies, betrayal, rejection and all of that - it is hard and slow for me to trust and painful when I am disappointed.

I really thank everyone for the perspectives. I agree that sometimes when people behave illogically and cruelly to you that you have to just let go and wait for someone better to come along.

I have calmed myself down a lot from feeling this is so personal.

I just met the wrong man!

posted December 16, 2015 11:59 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by misspriss:
I feel so much better, thank you everybody.

I think really as a Scorpio I do feel things deeply. Especially lies, betrayal, rejection and all of that - it is hard and slow for me to trust and painful when I am disappointed.

I really thank everyone for the perspectives. I agree that sometimes when people behave illogically and cruelly to you that you have to just let go and wait for someone better to come along.

I have calmed myself down a lot from feeling this is so personal.

I just met the wrong man!

I noticed he is back on dating site today - as you say - from one person to the next and I think his journey is his own to take!

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Good on!

It's very hard for leopards to change their spots... and him being on a dating site proves his personality and issues just as...

Keep looking forward. This has NOTHING to do with you. The only thing you aught to do is learn and look at what he triggered in you and how to heal your own issues from this.

posted December 16, 2015 12:52 PM            

I actually, for the first time, had my chart properly done (a personalised one) and I think i am very prone to investing too much in relationships and other people!

I take these things abnormally hard. I was amazed by how accurate my chart was...it reached into the depth of me and who I am and was quite interesting and eye opening to read.

posted December 16, 2015 12:56 PM            

I was especially interested in reading about my moon in the 7th house and how quickly and easily I become emotionally attached and perhaps a bit "needy" for the affirmation of others.

This is very much like me

posted December 16, 2015 06:20 PM            

So *your* Moon is in Pisces... and *his* Moon is in Capricorn... hmmmm
And your Mercuries are incompatible...

This situation might not be what it seems. It's possible you are mis-reading what happened here. I'm working at the moment, but I'll write you a longer reply when I can.

posted December 16, 2015 08:13 PM            

I am 100% sure he didn't set out to play me either. I think he's been lonely a long time and two girls came along at the same time, and he wasn't commited so he sampled the options. I do believe he was scared but he'd always told me he was scared of commitment since long before we dated. I don't think either of us expected to like each other as much as we did. It was very strange as there was SO much chemisty and attraction but when we talked about anything negative or where things were going I have never found anyone more difficult to speak to. He gave none of his real thoughts away and for me this was permanently frustrating.

Yes, he was born in 1987! Good calculations!

The happiest relationship I ever had atually was with an Aquarius. God that relationship was so passionate but close! I never felt any problems with that man!

He was:

Sun in Aquaruis
Rising in Taurus
Moon in Leo
Mercury in Pisces
Venus in Capricorn
Mars in Taurus
Jupiter in Aquarius

posted December 17, 2015 10:31 AM            

Yes I think some of us really are very messed up by our deepest fears, and we make our efforts to **** it up with some good things.

I am like that scorp in some ways, like having a deep fear of commitment, and to give love, and recently have an experience where I had a deep attraction and chemistry with a cancer woman, we hanged out a lot, talked a lot, played in a band, made songs together but I never attempt to make things phisical and more intimate, and on the first time we went out together, the first time I ever went out with a woman, my fears of intimacy really messed up our relationship and we haven't been that close or talked much since that day, and I've found out that she's dating someone now, so that's what it is. She was the girl who I was more intimate in my life, a soulmate in many things, but I think I messed up that too.

So far I never had a girlfriend, never had a proper date, and only this year I've finally had more female friends and having fun, but my deepest fear is in the relationship department.

Every time I developed emotions to a woman somehow I managed to self-sabotage it, by being passive-aggresive, by being distant and aloof, or by expressing my feelings in a very intense manner, it's always all or nothing, and now I'm beginning to get tired of that and I'll finally make changes in my life to finally have the chance to give and recieve love and enjoy life more.

Scorpio Sun, Mars and Pluto in 8th,

Moon in Aqua squaring that stellium

Chiron in 5th

Some of us are quite problematic, hope that man has the opportunity to learn to love, cause no one will help him, no matter how much love can have for him, he'll screw it up, as long as those demons are inside of him.

posted December 17, 2015 10:53 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LF DX:
I can understand your pain, Unevolved scorpio man present.

Yes I think some of us really are very messed up by our deepest fears, and we make our efforts to **** it up with some good things.

Some of us are quite problematic, hope that man has the opportunity to learn to love, cause no one will help him, no matter how much love can have for him, he'll screw it up, as long as those demons are inside of him.

Cheers.

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Wow, that must have taken courage to say. Nice of you to share your perspective, that helps someone at the receiving end of things.

posted December 17, 2015 10:57 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by misspriss:
I think I am quite a "soft" scorpio though. Am veyr forgiving and a good comunicator.

I do have strong Scorpio traits but they seem temepered a bit in me!

We were just very young. Together from school to early twenties and we got separated by distance when we both got jobs.

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i see..yeah young love is fresh and fun

the scorpio moon ex, he had this hurting the one's he loves the most backwards attitude. So i totally understand the whole sabotage with your ex bf.

posted December 17, 2015 11:38 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LF DX:
I can understand your pain, Unevolved scorpio man present.

Yes I think some of us really are very messed up by our deepest fears, and we make our efforts to **** it up with some good things.

I am like that scorp in some ways, like having a deep fear of commitment, and to give love, and recently have an experience where I had a deep attraction and chemistry with a cancer woman, we hanged out a lot, talked a lot, played in a band, made songs together but I never attempt to make things phisical and more intimate, and on the first time we went out together, the first time I ever went out with a woman, my fears of intimacy really messed up our relationship and we haven't been that close or talked much since that day, and I've found out that she's dating someone now, so that's what it is. She was the girl who I was more intimate in my life, a soulmate in many things, but I think I messed up that too.

So far I never had a girlfriend, never had a proper date, and only this year I've finally had more female friends and having fun, but my deepest fear is in the relationship department.

Every time I developed emotions to a woman somehow I managed to self-sabotage it, by being passive-aggresive, by being distant and aloof, or by expressing my feelings in a very intense manner, it's always all or nothing, and now I'm beginning to get tired of that and I'll finally make changes in my life to finally have the chance to give and recieve love and enjoy life more.

Scorpio Sun, Mars and Pluto in 8th,

Moon in Aqua squaring that stellium

Chiron in 5th

Some of us are quite problematic, hope that man has the opportunity to learn to love, cause no one will help him, no matter how much love can have for him, he'll screw it up, as long as those demons are inside of him.

Cheers.

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LF that was such a beautiful post. One of my "flaws" in life is that I often see past beahvior with people. I mean, I think I have a habit of seeing into someone to what is underneath and the kind of insecurity and rawness which you are speaking about is actually quite touching - it is there when we are the most human.

I am afraid of love, I admit I push people away and "test" them, I did with this man even several times. So we all have this aspect of us. When it runs so deep that we can't love we're denying ourselves the best part of being alive.

I really hope you can overcome this...to take those leaps even when your legs are shaking. you will get hurt - of course - and rejected - of course - but you will be alive too.

posted December 17, 2015 11:40 AM            

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misspriss, i hope you have your answers from all the people who've posted. We're with you.

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I am so grateful for the people who have answered me. It has made me feel so much better and peaceful inside.

I am still in love with my Scorpio. I am not even sure how that happenned because I never saw him as someone I would feel that way about, but at least I feel peaceful that he was not in a space to give and recieve love in the way that would have made me happy.

posted December 17, 2015 12:29 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by misspriss:
I am so grateful for the people who have answered me. It has made me feel so much better and peaceful inside.

I am still in love with my Scorpio. I am not even sure how that happenned because I never saw him as someone I would feel that way about, but at least I feel peaceful that he was not in a space to give and recieve love in the way that would have made me happy.

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who knows, perhaps there's something more in store for you guys. Not trying to give you false hope. Just that this relationship seems to be a victim of circumstance, in a way.

posted December 17, 2015 12:32 PM            

He knows where I am!