posted February 13, 2016 10:15 AM            

Now another friend suddenly breaking from our normal pattern of rapport and mutual respect and taking on the role of teacher does not sit well with me. I feel they are playing teacher just to be the teacher, taking on the mantle of the "wiser" one, when it wasn't actually earned. And that isn't good.

posted February 13, 2016 10:21 AM            

This can be a Virgo trait, but one thing I can't stand is unsolicited advice. So I try not to dish it out to other people, for various reasons.

I dish out the unsolicited advice with people I'm very close to, but I realize it's entirely obnoxious.

posted February 13, 2016 10:56 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DopGang:
We're done here.
This is totally becoming a huge waste of my time.

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If it matters, my comment above wasn't directed at you specifically.

posted February 13, 2016 11:20 AM            

Sorry, DopGang and hypatia.

Just didn't know how else to clarify.

athenaia - I REALLY like you!

Well I really like everyone.

Sorry for the misunderstandings.

posted February 13, 2016 11:25 AM            

I think we should just move on. Sound good?
This feels like walking in thick mud to me.

posted February 13, 2016 11:28 AM            

I have sun square Jupiter.

*whistles*

I'll just be going now....

posted February 13, 2016 11:31 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
Certain people in my life are allowed to talk to me like that. But we've gone through a long vetting process where I decided to voluntarily submit to being spoken to in that way. Bit by bit they became the teacher with my consent. They wouldn't have gotten there without demonstrating a very keen perception and respect for my inner workings. OR they have more expertise in a certain topic...they have latitude with that, if they are teaching me something concrete.

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That's true. It's your prerogative whether or not you want to share something, and to word it in whichever way best represents the thought.

Sometimes that is harder to arrive at when you're considering so many aspects of the topic at hand, and don't want to accidentally over-simplify your thought process - which would make it seem like one was making a snap judgement. And knowing Faith, that's the last thing she'd want to do.

posted February 13, 2016 11:48 AM            

Let's all just drop it, though, can we?

Asking for no more comments on that misunderstanding, please.

Unless hypatia wants to respond to what I wrote above...I'm giving her the last word and leaving this thread.

@Sylven + astro-detectives:

posted February 13, 2016 01:54 PM            

Faith *kiss! And I like you too. I totally understand where you are coming from!

posted February 13, 2016 07:17 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
I saw it as

a) bossy: "You SHOULD share it"
b) presumptuous: "You can't live in fear"
c) exaggerated criticism: "constantly erasing everything you say"
d) condescending

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posted February 13, 2016 07:35 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
I was trying to be encouraging.

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I'm going to offer something that I normally do not, which I consider my personal insights into something I haven't been asked about.
The only reason I'm doing this is for the same reason you listed before: Because for a brief moment, I care that you were misunderstood, and maybe my perspective *might* be able to help you. Maybe not, and that's okay, too.

I understood that you were trying to be encouraging, but that does not really mitigate the tone that myself and others have picked up on here.

No offense, but it's rather presumptuous and sanctimonious...although I am sure that is not how you're trying to come across.

I am sure that your advice and input is priceless to many people...but those people are probably a bit more transparent to you than the people here in LL, and thus you might not be making erroneous assumptions with them.

Also, I think that the point has almost proven itself here: Editing, with the desire to avoid hurting others' feelings, can often help to avoid huge misunderstandings.

posted February 13, 2016 09:20 PM            

I go around telling everyone I am deeply flawed all the time so people can feel comfortable about the idea that they have flaws too. Maybe the point of been a Virgo is to see the issue and let it go and do nothing about it, maybe is an exercise of accepting and not interfering that Virgos are suppose to learn. Sometimes perhaps the challenge for us is knowing when is appropriate or productive to interfere and when is not. I really hope I did not sound sanctimonious just now.