posted June 14, 2016 03:12 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DualGem:
Forgive me for saying this, ladies of lindaland.

But an age factor has something to do with it as well.

Most women after a certain age start to fear not having had the opportunity to have kids so they start trying to get into some kind of formal relationship

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I don't think this is true for every woman. I have never pictured myself as a mother - not really. But I remember meeting the one man that I flipped for - I still don't know why my feelings ran so deep, although I wasn't about to get into anything once he broke my heart (my sister married someone who did that to her - I've always been intent on avoiding that). When this man was in my life, I could easily see myself married to him, and having a baby.

In the years since, I've cried over not having children of my own - I had a member of my own family crushing my mental health, to make herself feel better, and I feel like she took away my last chance to be a mother (due to my age). Biologically, anyway. That sort of thing hits me on Halloween, when I see the parents helping their little children up our driveway (wanting to be "big kids" and not be carried ). One of my favourites was last year, when my dad asked a little girl if she was a good or bad witch, and she very sweetly said, "BAD".

posted June 14, 2016 03:15 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Belage:
You're perfect proof of the validity of that line of logic. You admitted that you used to trash marriage, then you got married. So that's your point exactly?

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Thank you.
My point is precisely that.
I am younger than 65, and perfectly qualified to comment on this thread.

As is anyone else with their own experience to add, imo.

posted June 14, 2016 03:20 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Violets:
Thank you.
My point is precisely that.
I am younger than 65, and perfectly qualified to comment on this thread.

As is anyone else with their own experience to add, imo.

And I believe that your views are a bit skewed, in terms of thinking that it's mainly "guys who are notorious for this."

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Anyway, your logic is lost on me, but it's okay. We must have planets at harsh angles. Where's your mercury at?, lol.

posted June 14, 2016 03:22 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Belage:

And I would also look at fixed houses on the angles.

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Why do you say this?

quote:

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Originally posted by polkadotstars:
I always wanted to get married. When I was a kid I imagined I would be married, with kids, living in a house with a white picket fence by the time I was 25.

Now, at 31, I've almost been engaged to twice by long term boyfriends but I knew they weren't the "one" so I called it off when I sensed it was coming. They told me later that they were going to propose.

I later became cynical of relationships and marriage. I am only 31 but I have numerous friends who are now divorced and single mothers. Not to bad mouth anyone or judge anyone who has gotten divorced so young, but I don't believe there is much importance placed on marriages nowadays. It seems like it's always about the wedding party.

It saddens me when I see girls who get engaged, and the way they announce it is by posting up a picture of the ring on Facebook. Not of the couple, but solely of the ring. I actually had one friend announce it by saying "Does this ring make me look engaged"? It makes me cringe because marriage isn't about a wedding, a party, or even the ring. It's about two people coming together and supporting each other through the good and bad, being best friends even when you're mad at them, loving them and doing your best to make them happy every day of their life. That's my definition of marriage. And maybe that's why I'm so cynical of most marriages. I feel like the majority of women just care about the wedding and once the thrill of being engaged and a newly wed is over, they realize what work marriage is, and they bail.

I know this comment is a bit off topic from the original post. I believe there are many views on why someone wouldn't want to get married. I do still want to get married one day, and have a family that I come home too. I see my aunt, who is in her 60s and never married, and she's lonely. I love her, but I don't want to become that. Also, I'm a big romantic at heart, being heavily Pisces influenced

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I was put off last year, by someone posting pictures constantly, of their expensive shoes, and then their expensive engagement ring - and then the ring and the shoes together.

posted June 14, 2016 03:22 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Belage:

I didn't say "ALL" or "ONLY" guys, I said mainly guys, and I will stand by it. More men are adverse to marriage than women, or to put it another way, more women are into marriage than men, that's why the marriage is a big production affair for women, not so much for men. That's why we have popular shows about bridezillas, not groomzillas.

Anyway, your logic is lost on me, but it's okay. We must have planets at harsh angles.

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I don't know any women who watch shows like that. I find them quite horrid, as would any women I spend my time with, I am sure.

So perhaps different worlds that we live in, and yes on the harsh angles. I've thought of that as well, as your logic is likewise lost on me.

I would also like statistics to back up your opinion, but that's another topic, obviously.

quote:

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Where's your mercury at?, lol.

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My Mercury is in Aquarius, as we've noted in other threads where there was communication confusion between us.

posted June 14, 2016 03:29 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Violets:
Read through the thread.

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posted June 14, 2016 03:32 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Violets:
My Mercury is in Aquarius, as we've noted in other threads where there was communication confusion between us.

If your Mercury is in Virgo, it quite possibly opposes my Sun and BML, which would explain some things as well...

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My mercury is in Libra. lol
But I do have 3 planets in Leo and 1 planet in Scorpio, so these could be opposing and squaring your Mercury and I do have a stellium in Virgo that might oppose your SUn and BML.

Oh, well, let's bury the hatchet, will you?

posted June 14, 2016 03:33 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Belage:

Look, just because you and your women friends do not watch those bridezillas or finding the dress shows does not negate the fact that there is obviously a public for them or they would not exist on TV. Call me when you find a groomzilla or finding the right tux TV show that's as popular as those women oriented shows.

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posted June 14, 2016 03:34 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Belage:
My mercury is in Libra. lol
But I do have 3 planets in Leo and 1 planet in Scorpio, so these could be opposing and squaring your Mercury and I do have a stellium in Virgo that might oppose your SUn and BML.

Oh, well, let's bury the hatchet, will you?

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Yes, lol.
I had to change my original post, because I can't expect you to read every sentence I type, heh.

posted June 14, 2016 03:36 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Belage:
That makes me think, we should have a thread called Posters who grate you and your aspects with them.

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posted June 14, 2016 03:36 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Belage:
That makes me think, we should have a thread called Posters who grate you and your aspects with them.

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posted June 14, 2016 03:37 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by teasel:
Why do you say that fixed angles would be part of this? (the subject of the thread.)

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posted June 14, 2016 03:38 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Violets:
Omg, it would be an all out LL tomato throwing fest!

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quote:

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Originally posted by teasel:
Thirty pages of posts, and then thread locked for arguing. My prediction.

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Yeah, that wouldn't last long.

posted June 14, 2016 03:39 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Belage:

Fixed houses have a harder time to accept change. So if there is a planet like Saturn in the 7th, it will delay marriage for a very long time, unlike Saturn in a mutable house, which will be more flexible. So a fixed 7th house with marriage denying or delaying aspects will take much longer than other houses to accept marriage, if at all.

On the other hand, fixed houses tend to stay married till death do us part, precisely because they are adverse to change.

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I am averse to change, but also open to it if necessary. It's just so hard, because I love and need a certain amount of stability - but I don't want to be stuck, either (and I always end up being stuck somehow). I have Uranus conjunct my Scorpio ascendant.

posted June 14, 2016 03:50 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by teasel:
I am averse to change, but also open to it if necessary. It's just so hard, because I love and need a certain amount of stability - but I don't want to be stuck, either (and I always end up being stuck somehow). I have Uranus conjunct my Scorpio ascendant.

Thanks, Belage.

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Just wanted to add that when you look at people who have married many times (more than twice), Elizabeth Taylor, Kim Kardashian, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Rue McClanahan, Richard Pryor, Pamela Anderson, Jennifer Lopez, Demi Moore, Drew Barrymore etc... they are very rarely people with fixed houses on the angles. They tend to have mutable houses there.

posted June 14, 2016 06:27 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Belage:
And also, unless you're 65 and never married, you really cannot bring your personal experience into this. I have met too many people who in their youth swore up and down they would not get marry, only to tie up the knot in their 40s, 50s or even 60s. Especially guys are famous for this.

That's it! I am off my soap box.

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I believe there's value in a variety of responses - whether you're 20 years old or 60 years old, your experiences matter and can only add to this thread, not detract from it.

posted June 14, 2016 06:33 PM            

Progressed Venus was also conjunct Saturn - it has been conjunct progressed Saturn for years.

The guy's progressions included his pr. Venus conjunct my Ceres/Chiron/Sun and his pr. Sun conjunct my Moon, Venus, and South Node.

posted June 14, 2016 06:38 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by teasel:
I wonder if my Moon/Venus in the 8th has anything to do with it then. I don't think I ever trashed marriage (someone said something above about that), but I remember worrying that my parents were rushing into things when they remarried.

I've always taken my relationships seriously.

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I would think that would contribute...
The 8th house isn't a house of frivolous, gaudy displays of love, generally speaking.

Although my mother in-law has her Leo Pluto and Mars in H8, and she's a bit of a fan for having a guy go all out for her in that sense, but her Virgo Sun keeps it in check.

Anyway, I would think it would add some serious contemplation to such matters, especially as the 8th house also rules other people's money, and shared assets, etc.

posted June 14, 2016 06:47 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by teasel:
I don't think this is true for every woman. I have never pictured myself as a mother - not really. But I remember meeting the one man that I flipped for - I still don't know why my feelings ran so deep, although I wasn't about to get into anything once he broke my heart (my sister married someone who did that to her - I've always been intent on avoiding that). When this man was in my life, I could easily see myself married to him, and having a baby.

In the years since, I've cried over not having children of my own - I had a member of my own family crushing my mental health, to make herself feel better, and I feel like she took away my last chance to be a mother (due to my age). Biologically, anyway. That sort of thing hits me on Halloween, when I see the parents helping their little children up our driveway (wanting to be "big kids" and not be carried ). One of my favourites was last year, when my dad asked a little girl if she was a good or bad witch, and she very sweetly said, "BAD".

I was never in a rush to just marry anyone, so that I could have children, though. I loved the little ones we babysat when I was a teenager, but I also know what a huge responsibility they are.

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Teasel

I was so busy bickering that I didn't read through your entire post. I"m sorry. Hugs to you, maybe you can adopt or foster some day, even if you're older. I hope that happens for you, if it's what you want at some point.

posted June 14, 2016 08:54 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Violets:
Teasel

I was so busy bickering that I didn't read through your entire post. I"m sorry. Hugs to you, maybe you can adopt or foster some day, even if you're older. I hope that happens for you, if it's what you want at some point.

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Thanks Violets

posted June 15, 2016 12:22 PM            

Anyhow, favourite parts of this thread was the nuns and monks and them living without papers with their betrothed. lololol Fantastic! I see no foul in that.

posted June 15, 2016 12:52 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Bear9:
Interesting discussion. I know i'm late to get back here. I can never find posts I was contributing to??

Anyhow, favourite parts of this thread was the nuns and monks and them living without papers with their betrothed. lololol Fantastic! I see no foul in that.

I did read something recently about Saturn in 7th in a progressed chart. It said it makes a person often want to find someone to commit to and those already in relationships very reluctant to end them, even if it's bad. For whatever that is worth.

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It's a weird thing with my friends who have Saturn in H7.
The two good friends that I'm thinking of were both married relatively young (one at 19), and both have five kids.

One is a Libra with Sag Rising, and the other is an Aquarius Sun with Sag Rising.

The Aquarius felt kind of burnt after her divorce, and has zero desire to remarry, or really to even date anyone. Her primary concern is for her kids, and her business that supports them. She's wary of men who are interested in a single mom with five kids, lol.

My Libra friend is sort of a serial monogamist, and seems like she's always searching for a permanent partner, and marriage (her first husband passed unexpectedly soon after they were married).

She's been with the same guy for years, and I know that she would very much like to get married, but...either he puts it off because he sort of puts everything off, or they don't have the money for what they want in a wedding? They're engaged, but not married.

posted June 17, 2016 02:38 AM            

But I've realized I do want kids (Moon and Pluto in 5th) and if they're my own I want to choose a trustworthy/responsible father figure for them.

So where does that leave me options wise? If anyone here has ever watched the Real Housewives of NYC.. I could always just pull a Bethany Frankel and find a decent guy to procreate and pretend to be in love with, and when that doesn't work out.. divorce his a** and continue supporting myself and the child(ren) on my own.