posted January 27, 2017 06:46 PM            

(Btw, one PUA trick was going cold for awhile to build up stress and tension so a woman will want him more as well as get to wondering and obsessing over him so when he does make contact, she feels more rewarded and also puts him more into control as she'll bend over backwards to keep getting the reward. This sounds like a terrible strategy to me, but going by too many threads I've seen on LL, it also seems like an effective one even if it's essentially a manipulative mind game. But then going by this specific thread, it appears some women also engage in such manipulative behavior to goad men into reacting a certain way as well.)

Going by some threads on LL, at least some want to better understand the person to manipulate them and fake out another person to get a desired response, to live a fantasy rather than a mutually authentic life. I've seen more than one about having netted that Scorpio or Scorpio Mars, but frustrated that he's getting standoffish (maybe because he senses she's being manipulative and underhanded?) and wanting to know what to fake (never mind that Linda Goodman said to never be fake with a Scorpio as they will see right through it and never forgive it) to get the Scorpio to become more "dominant" (as if by being more dominant he'd do what SHE wanted in her fantasies rather than what he wanted--when he almost certainly has very expectations and fantasies than the woman does, but perhaps an easy mistake as women tend to project their subjective feelings onto men just as men tend to do the same onto women, another foolish and potentially dangerous thing we humans do).

posted January 27, 2017 06:47 PM            

I could also go into people who assume the worst too fast, and either send hate texts or ban the other person when there is a perfectly good reason and the one to assume the worst is just having issues. I say men and women dodge a bullet when they run into a man or woman like that who cuts them out over a minor issue (like the other person was in the shower so couldn't immediately text back or caught in traffic so couldn't immediately reply or arrived a few minutes late, both of whom got a bunch of hate texts over it) and encourage them not to pursue someone who does that as it's a very bad sign of what the person is like (and one guy who asked me how to get another chance when he did this was told by me that I wouldn't have given another chance and it would only look worse if he tried to repair the damage--and for me, it would've--so he should just learn from his and try not to repeat it in the future).

posted January 27, 2017 07:07 PM            

Even like "aspects that make you an angry person" .. well maybe they don't have any angry aspects... maybe they're angry because their friend got hit by a bus or they waited for a train in traffic for 20 hours.

posted January 28, 2017 03:26 AM            

@PixieJane, very spot on! I remember when I was a teen I used to read cosmopolitan. I am glad I do not read any type of cheap psychology of "self-destroying" books anymore. I think that the collective perception of mating, attraction and similar has suffered so much from such literature that even if people do not read directly this books, they are ingrained in their mindset through all the movies, invitees to shows, and media outlets.

we have lost sense of our internal voice and even the acceptance of biological differences between man and women. with the idea of all becoming equals, we have fallen into the trap of thinking that men are like women and their survival instinct are similar, which can be debunked by just going into evolutionary psychology.

something that really disturb me is to look at the videos of the 80s and girls singing were in normal clothes. now, singers look like porno starts (name one who does not look like one). this subliminial message that it is cool to be in sadistic and masoquistic relationship is so obvious to a careful observer and can be seen in many of these posts in LL with such questions. Generally these posts come from very young girls. Which tell me that is part of the brainwashing that this generation has suffered. No that the other generations are safe, just less exposed to current trends.

new age thinking has also created much damaged with this soul-mate propaganda. so many thread here where the person (most likely a girl-woman) is asking if someone is the twin or the soulmate and why he is running from her. most of the time the relationship is toxic and they keep looking at the synastry, composite, draconic finding SINGS of their magical connection. they even come to any asteroid that come to mind to justify the unbearable truth: they are into a toxic relationship or toxic hang-up or toxic unrequited situation. It makes me sad and angry when i read these post. I make a call to responders to be wary of colluding with the delusion. one thing is someone asking about aspects or sinaystry aspect in general way, another is someone asking with a problem that really need psychotherapy.

normally when i see this type of questions with the background toxic problem, I do not go into the astrology and give my opinion without any astrological consideration. why? because I want to avoid giving a person false hope or perpetuate the misery. what if the synastry is marvelous but the relationship is miserable. when people want to understand why then it is different. but if what they want to hear is "is he coming back? should I stay in this relationship ? should I wait until the transit pass (4 years) and see if he come back?.. i will never look at the astro info. I will give my opinion with the information i have.

we do the best we can with the info the poster is providing, but if the info provided give enough hint that the problem is beyond the realm of astrology, why to give an astrological answer?. If someone cheat on you, are you going to come to the forum and ask, should I stay in this relationship, he is my soulmate, should I accept that he cheated on me? this is a moral question that has to do with what your limits are and what your values are. I know what I would do with a cheater, but that is me. so these questions cannot be answered with astrology. an interesting astrological question would be, what makes th eperson to be accepting of such crap from partner or prospects, what makes them to pursue the unavailable, what makes them to accept humilliatio and mistreatment?

value questions example

1. do you accept cheating, beating, humiliation if there is a magic link in a synastry?

2. do you accept a relationship that brings you more suffering than happiness because he-she is your soulmate?

3. do you want to use astrology to validate your lack of self-esteem accepting mistreatment in a relationship under the excuse of "we are soulmates"?

posted January 28, 2017 01:51 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Gracha:
If he/she is interested, usually there's no questions about it, I understand that it takes some a little longer to show interest but generally you'll just know when obvious interests is being shown.

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posted January 29, 2017 12:01 AM            

I have seen too many of those threads you are speaking of, I no longer bother answering them.

Example:

"I have been dating this guy, he cheated on me, he beat me up, he killed my dog, ate my goldfish, and stole money from me. But I lurv him! We have Venus conjunct (insert whatever soulmate astrological aspects du jour here). what do you think I should do? "

posted January 29, 2017 03:10 AM            

I think sometimes is tricky for the compassionate heart not to say something. specially in cases when someone is in despair and we want to help somehow. However, when we focus on ASTROLOGY when the issue is beyond astrology can do more harm than good. immagine a person going through one of the examples you listed and we found a wonderful synastry. We have a tricky situation here. if we focus only in astrology we can give the person the hope to stay in a place that is self-defeating. if we dont go into astrology, then we are not discussing astrology...

posted January 29, 2017 03:26 AM            

You've raised very important points in this thread. I was in a situation where I looked to astrology for shreds of hope to cling on to. And after quite a long time of doing that, I found out that his birth year was wrong (he had lied)! Ha ha! What a good lesson that was about not to build hope based on astrological charts.

It is sad to see other people here doing the same - even for years. Any hint of a connection is gleefully pounced upon and mulled over even when the relationship is non-existent.

posted January 29, 2017 11:55 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by nordicsoul:
However, when we focus on ASTROLOGY when the issue is beyond astrology can do more harm than good.

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Well there is a way to couch everything into an astrological context. It's an astrology board...that's what this place is for...we're not psychoanalysts, generally speaking.

This thread is a bit judgmental and upsetting to me.

Okay...we get the point...some people have unrealistic hopes. Can we lay off them at some point?

posted January 29, 2017 12:01 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
Well there is a way to couch everything into an astrological context. It's an astrology board...that's what this place is for...

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posted January 29, 2017 12:05 PM            

Apart from the fact that if People ask for astrological advice, they ask for astrological advice, that`s it.

And it is up to us to make the choice if we want to give that or not.

I might myself Point out occasionally my view on certain Things, but that is just it, MY view, and it is limited and not having the big Picture obviously as I do not know the other Person, I do not know the guy in question, the living condition, the usual behavioural pattern etc.

posted January 29, 2017 12:18 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Astro keen:
Yep, they were great. About 27 pairs of soulmate type double whammies. I could happily have killed him when I found out

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posted January 29, 2017 12:37 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:

This thread is a bit judgmental and upsetting to me.

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coming from somebody that is very TOLERANT of whatever or whoever act or think different from her TRUE mindset, it is very refreshing.

but irony aside, I think that your contributions to issues such as the one I exposed earlier as as helpful (with only focus in astrology, no matter the context of the question) as mine (focus on the context and when astrology advice can be misleading refraining from any astrological opinion). I think people need both alternatives and yes, this is a an astrological forum and that is why the title of this thread is "when we use astrology to delude ourselves" and I think that sometimes we need to use our judgement to decide whether advice or not in the context of the question.

and yes, we are not psychoanalysts and even if we were not always the right approach is to go into the technical details of a question. Even if a person ask for it.

I want to think of a criminal coming to this forum asking advice how to use someone chart to manipulate them and get them to trust them. would you give the astrological advice? I would not, but under your previous answer, I assume that you would say "she-he asked the astro advice, I gave it. end of the story"

your problem is that you cannot accept that other view or act different from yours. you seem to believe that your way of going along should be imitated and it is the model to follow and when they dont you start scorning all over this website

but I will stay and no going anywhere.... I will provide my "support" with the values I have. You are free to use your own approach and it is totally fine as I know that you mean well when you give your advice. I also mean well and I hope that between people like me and people like you a person get advice that comes from different angles and can complement each other.

posted January 29, 2017 01:10 PM            

It's not healthy for us, sure. But in the long run, it actually might be? Like, when we've gone around asking the Universe all those questions about that special someone and how they treat us and why. After being spun around for a while, we can really separate the wheat from the chaff. Look back and realize, oh - that was not some magical connection, that was just me being *me*. Or, realize - oh, I shouldn't have let my hang-ups cloud my judgment there. That's the one that got away.

Hindsight is 20-20. And sometimes astrology can help reason out some things we aren't quite ready to face yet. Context changes, perspective changes. But sometimes it's just a phase you *have* to go through.

posted January 29, 2017 01:11 PM            

For example, I knew someone for 10 years. In those ten years, they would signal interest to me in the most subtle of ways. Whenever I would tell others of these micro-expressions of interest, I would be met with the most pitying, pathetic looks. As if I was the insane one.

Three years ago, my path crossed with this person's path again. They were exhibiting micro-expressions of interest as they had in the past. It would be easy to take the He's Just Not That Into You approach and say, "a man will let you know if he's interested". When your intuition tells you otherwise.. astrology can be the only "objective" tool to confirm your suspicions.

Anyway this person is now my boyfriend and we're coming up on our one year anniversary together. People in my life were shocked. Men/women/people are not cookie cutter creatures who all show interest in similar ways.

As for people locked into abusive relationships hoping beyond hope something will change.. there are so many psychological defense mechanisms at play. Sometimes you have to honor the chemistry/connection they have that shows itself in astrology. Sometimes through sheer acknowledgement of this, this can give a victim the strength to accept, mourn, move on, etc..

It's really no one's place to offer advice when someone is seeking astrological/divination answers. It's their life to live, and I'm sure they'll come to whenever conclusion they need to at their own time.

PLEASE do not quote this.

posted January 29, 2017 01:19 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by nordicsoul:
your problem is that you cannot accept that other view or act different from yours.

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Actually not true.
It depends, however, how the different view is being presented.

posted January 29, 2017 01:20 PM            

quote:

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coming from somebody that is very TOLERANT of whatever or whoever act or think different from her TRUE mindset, it is very refreshing.

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posted January 29, 2017 01:24 PM            

But I donīt think anyone really expects such a reading to be true 100% and bases life-decisions on it. At least I hope not.

I give People more credit than that and believe that their gut instinct and common sense will always win over what they might "want" to hear.

same goes for astrology obviously.

posted January 29, 2017 01:26 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Nine:
Spot on! Personality encapsulated with just a few key words.

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it actually is, literally, word for word.

She`s a very tolerant open compassionate Person, just as quoted above.

posted January 29, 2017 01:29 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by nordicsoul:
coming from somebody that is very TOLERANT of whatever or whoever act or think different from her TRUE mindset, it is very refreshing.

but irony aside

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I am actually very tolerant.

Just not of you, when you bully and preach like this.

posted January 29, 2017 01:30 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ceridwen:
it actually is, literally, word for word.

She`s a very tolerant open compassionate Person, just as quoted above.

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