posted March 24, 2019 03:20 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Melinn:
Sorry for my many questions!

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I don't mind it at all.

I'm someone who doesn't talk much about my feelings. Even when I feel hurt, I won't tell them. I think my Mercury in 12H sextile Saturn is the cause of it. I always think people would get annoyed listening to my grievances or that I'm being overly sensitive/unreasonable. Because of this, I accepted a lot of bad behaviours.

I've improved over the years though - more vocal now and less afraid of confrontations, but I still keep my feelings in check. There are 2 reasons for this - I'm either (1) not sure how I should feel (should I be angry? should I confront them? etc) OR (2) afraid of the response I may get.

Re my ex... after we reconnected I told him how he used to make me feel. I didn't tell him I felt unloved, but that he often made me cry (I've NEVER cried in front of him though). He just said: "Sorry, I was a douchebag back then". Actually on retrospect, he probably did love me because of all the sweet, little things he also did, just that I chose to focus on all the negatives.

With my other ex I don't even wanna talk to him after we broke off. He was a jerk. My only regret is I allowed him to trample on my feelings for far too long.

With my current guy I have been more vocal. In fact, he was more expressive than me so I didn't have to ask a lot of qns (lol), just that he says confusing things at times. E.g. this:

Me: "How much do you like me?"
He: "So much... so much..." (and he drew a big circle in the air)
Me: "How much is that?"
He: "Like the ocean."
Me: "That's A LOT, you know? That's like telling me you love me."
He: "Really? Like the lagoon then..." (and he chuckled)
🙄
Me: "Do you actually love me?"
He: "Yes."
Me: "Really??"
He: "Opps, I have to go.. I'm late." (and he scoot off)
🙄

Another time, he asked me:
He: "Do you love me?"
Me: "Yes."
He: "On a scale of 1-10?"
Me: "Hmm... I didn't measure it. How about you? Do you love me?"
He: "No."
Me: "Then why do you ask?!"
🙄

So does he love me? I don't know... so I made up my own answers.

posted March 25, 2019 12:02 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by kani:
Hikaru:
it feels either like game playing to me or he is scared to admit his feelings to you. Those 2 arent mutually exclusive anyway.
Did he say he didn't love you after he said he loved you though (and then vanished)?

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The last time we talked about feelings, he said he was still very attracted to me.

posted March 25, 2019 06:14 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Hikaru29:
The last time we talked about feelings, he said he was still very attracted to me.

He didn't vanish. In fact, he seems to still care for me. Recently I went for a minor op and I told him I'd text him when I'm out of the OT (but I didn't because I thought he wouldn't care). When he didn't hear from me the whole day, he text to ask if I was ok.

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No I meant this

"Me: "Do you actually love me?"
He: "Yes."
Me: "Really??"
He: "Opps, I have to go.. I'm late." (and he scoot off)
🙄"

posted March 25, 2019 06:19 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by kani:

No I meant this

"Me: "Do you actually love me?"
He: "Yes."
Me: "Really??"
He: "Opps, I have to go.. I'm late." (and he scoot off)
🙄"

Was this conversation before or after the other conversation where he said he doesn't love you?

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Before.

posted March 25, 2019 07:18 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Hikaru29:
Before.

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posted March 25, 2019 08:11 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by kani:
Then clearly he felt scared. I did feel a bit overwhelmed by your questions when I read them and imagined being in his position. But of course it's always sth. different when that convo takes place in person.
I feel like he does have strong love feelings for you but somehow, for some reason seems scared of them. Probably some bad experience in the past?

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If he felt overwhelmed why did he later ask me if I love him and even wanna know how much?

On 2 other occasions he asked whether I truly like him or only for sex. I told him I truly like him.

posted March 25, 2019 09:32 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Hikaru29:
If he felt overwhelmed why did he later ask me if I love him and even wanna know how much?

On 2 other occasions he asked whether I truly like him or only for sex. I told him I truly like him.

It seems he wants to know how I feel, and by asking me several times it seems that he isn't convinced? But in return, he wouldn't tell me how he feels or changes his answers to confuse me.

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posted March 25, 2019 11:06 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by kani:
He has trust issues. I don't know Hikaru, this can really be draining on the other person and you already broke it off with him didn't you. It's his problem and if it drags you down so much it's a good thing you distanced yourself.

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Yes, I'm trying to distance myself... although I've a feeling that we're not "over" yet.

posted March 26, 2019 05:07 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Hikaru29:
Yes, I'm trying to distance myself... although I've a feeling that we're not "over" yet.

I usually can get over things quite easily... things people said/did, but what he said kept coming back to me like a persistent itch. Urgh.

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posted March 26, 2019 10:27 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by kani:
Annoying af

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posted March 31, 2019 06:43 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Melinn:
He sounds, like a nightmare.. I'm sorry for negative wordings but as a plutonian, that type of avoidance would drive me insane!

Were you also living together?

I have can not imagine being together for that long and being intimate but not be able to say I love you? I'm sure its common but in my mind and world, it sounds seriously f upped lol (so much for neutral tone in advice giving, sorry aries stellium :/)

I also saw in a thread that you have Mars in pisces.. and he has mars in what?

Do you think your pisces mars and neptune-moon in 7th attracts elusive guys?

Also I suspect you are a very "tolerant" person who can withstand a lot of trampling? I'm sensing this by your texts and your chart and the aspects I mentioned above plus venus-moon opposition

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No, we don't live together. He has Mars in Cancer and our Marses are trine.

Do you know the game "taboo"? I feel that he's playing this game with me. I sought 2 friends' advice (both know him because we all met together) as I was afraid that I'm not seeing things clearly and they said he clearly has strong feelings for me. 🤨

I just started a thread on Neptune in 7th, so maybe you can read that.

posted March 31, 2019 07:27 AM            

His behaviour doesn't sound to me like either of the scenarios you painted. Even if you're Uranian who needs a lot of space, you don't need THAT much space from someone you like, tbh. Also, if a guy's interested he will come to you, not expecting you to chase him. This is a man's hunter instinct. Sure, you can chase him too (we're in modern times) but why is he expecting that?

Have you considered that he was only flirting and wanted nothing more?

I feel bad for you that you've to psychoanalyse him and come up with all kinds of possibilities, which makes me realise this is how I must have seen to you too. LOL. Why do we torture ourselves?

posted March 31, 2019 10:41 AM            

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Originally posted by Melinn:
I know what you mean by analyzing etc, it drives one nuts! Also thats why one often can not let gor for 1-2 years, because, it feels like, if you just figure this mystery out you will finally be able to relax and let it go and never look back, is that how you feel now?

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YES! I'm totally guilty of that. I love to psychoanalyse the people around me (is it surprising that I like criminal psychology? LOL).

quote:

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Neptune is aspecting my venus-sun-mercury and angles, also pisces dsc, so I sure know about being forgiving and tolerant <3.

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Are they in harmonious or harsh aspects? My Neptune conjunct Moon/Dsc in 7H, opp Venus in 1H and square Mars in 10H. Talk about dreaminess! I often give people the benefit of the doubt but even though I forgive, it doesn't mean I welcome them back in my lives. E.g. I forgave my ex but I don't wanna stay in touch with him either.

My guy has Neptune square Sun/Mercury. Can you tell me more about how these aspects affect an individual? Do you get confused with what you want or getting your message across? I have a friend who also has these squares and he seldom talks about how he feels about things. Is this one of the effects?

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I don't understand Neptunian/piscean Mars though, my guy has it and he just can't ever be direct when he wanna say no etc :/. He uses such indirect ways, my aries self gets so mad!

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Hmm...when I was much younger I have a harder time telling people 'no' but that's when I was much much younger like 20yrs ago. I don't seem to have this problem anymore so I believe we don't always stay the way our charts say. We learn through experience and evolve.

quote:

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I have a lot of edge though, If I dislike someone, I will show it, I just can't hide it at all. Plutonian, aries, 8th house, uranus you name it. Its horrid but I just can't be libra polite if I dislike someone...

Aww its so great you are not wasting time on grudges! But disappointments though, those are hard to forget :/

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I don't think there's anything wrong with being honest. You just need to have some EQ in delivering your message the right way so people don't misunderstand you. Anyway, I always appreciate an honest person vs someone who pretends to be nice and I've met so many in my life.

I used to get SO disappointed with people and for a long time, I couldn't understand why they do what they did... and why some people seemed to prefer pretentious friends. But I'm over this now, not before walking away with bruises of course. I've accepted that some people are just not worth analysing.. they just don't make sense.

posted March 31, 2019 11:07 AM            

I also gathered from your story that he felt the attraction towards you but perhaps his ex's pull was stronger... perhaps they have "unfinished business". I can understand your frustrations.

posted March 31, 2019 12:41 PM            

I of course do not compare our pain because yours were a much more real relationship..

I will answer according to the quotes you made above:

Yes psychoanalyse is the word haha! Are you also into reading about serial killers and watching criminal minds etc? . Or well I watched that show for 6 seasons or so, then I could just not stomach that much pain and blood etc, I became disgusted. Actually ever since my saturn return I'm much more super choosy about what I read and watch. I wanna keep my mind and soul "clean" from unnesessary "traumatic" or upsetting scenes.

Anyways thats the extrem but yes I have a love for analysing myself, my feelings beahviour and others feelings and behaviour. One can never understands others if one does not understand one self. It begins with you...

Neptune is trine my sun and mercury. Sextile my angles. Square my venus but I have read and agree that even stressed aspects between venus and neptune is benevolent so to speak since venus is benevolent, and venus is exalted in pisces so being in aspect with neptune is just good energy, I read that and I agree!

For me, it makes me feel an endless love for god. Gods love is the only real and pure love. No one else can compare with ones creators love, so thats my venus-neptune. I think the love one feels for god in ones heart, makes one easier to be humble and to be tolerant and forgiving, but thats just my experience! Others may call it "having rose glasses". The venus is conjunct jupiter in my 8th, so jupiter gives extra energy to the venus-neptune in a great way, my fav aspects in my natal!

I can reply some in your other thread about my pisces dsc later...

I just vibe so well with people who have neptune to their personal planets and I especially love venus-neptune and sun-neptune in people! I attract those mostly, I need people with high EQ in my life! One of my closest friends I met some years ago, it was love at first sight! We met through social media, met in irl life and it was like I knew her for years! It was just so natural and I'm a shy and weird virgo asc at first but not with her. Not surpricingly, I found she has Venus and neptune conjunct and pisces sun.

So its great that you also have neptune-venus <3. And you sound like a neptunian who knows how to set boundries! Awesome! And those who misses out on being close to you, too bad for them! I pity those! Because I don't think one can find anyone more tolerant and giving then a venus-neptune! Like, if they knew what they are losing...

posted March 31, 2019 02:06 PM            

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Are you also into reading about serial killers

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Hahaha... you should look at all the books I have on serial killers. My favourite website was the crime library until they closed it down.. I think it's called Crime Museum now? But you're right on keeping your mind & soul "clean". If it disturbs you, you should stop watching. I regretfully saw certain things which I can't erase from my memory.

The thing about me is I'm not afraid to delve into the ugly side of human nature. I think it's good we know ourselves and how we can evolve... not because I aim to be a "saint".

posted March 31, 2019 02:55 PM            

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Do you have a more direct mercury-neptune question that I totally missed answering here? Let me know

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Yes. Are people with Sun/Mercury harsh aspects Neptune prone to lying because they're so mixed-up about reality and fantasy? Or they're too afraid to hurt my feelings?

But I enjoy reading what you said about the other manifestations. My 5yo niece has Neptune square Sun and it's easy to get her to do things... just play on her empathy.

I can relate to your using metaphors & visuals to understand things. I do that all the time... sometimes also using analogies. Whenever I learn something new, I always need a mental image. Neptunians have great imaginations that's why they make excellent artists and musicians. I love to sing and people always say I sing with so much feelings.

I kinda find Neptune more manipulative than Pluto as people are often unaware of its energies unlike Pluto which is very in-your-face, causing some to run away from the intensity. But for Neptune... you don't know what got you until you're completely overpowered and "dying with a smile", lol.

You're right...Neptunians gel with Neptunians, and unlike Plutonians who will engage in power struggles together, Neptunians will dream together and be forgiving towards one another. They also understand the Neptunian pain (empathy) and can escape together to relax and recuperate. Some people think of Neptunian escapism as bad but it doesn't have to be.. it can be very rejuvenating. I don't need to be slapped with reality all the time. I know the reality perfectly well... I just need to know that there's still hope.