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Author Topic:   How do you end a Pluto bond?
Hikaru29
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posted March 21, 2019 05:57 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hikaru29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
For those of you who've been through a plutonic relationship, how do you eventually walk away? Or are you still struggling with it?

I've tried to end things once and for all but it's been so hard. Every time I thought it's finally over, it comes back. It's never over. Either he walks back to me or I walk back to him.

I also had strong Pluto contacts with my ex and it also took me a long time (7yrs) to end that relationship but it didn't feel so emotionally excruciating. I was sad but my heart didn't bleed. But with the current one it feels like my heart got stabbed. We haven't been together a long time (coming to a year) but it feels so painful leaving him. The last time we met we purposely ignored each other and I walked away feeling so sad I ended up flirting with another guy and so disgusted with myself for doing that.

I don't know why it feels much more painful this time round. When I broke up with my ex, I was so positive that, given time, I would get over him. And I did. With the current guy, my heart tells me that even if my heart heals, I'll never get over this. 😣

Is this the effect of Pluto squares in composite (square Sun/Venus/Mercury) vs Pluto conjunct/sextile/trine with my ex which doesn't feel so tormenting?

Or is it because of the closer bond the current guy and I have despite the shorter time together? We've a composite stellium (Sun/Mercury/Venus/Psyche/Cupido) in Cancer all trining Moon in Scorpio. With my ex our planets are scattered but formed a nice cradle in fire/air signs.

I really have no clue how to end this. Some advised me to painfully tear away and time will heal... Some advised me to just let the relationship run its course.

So I wanna know how yours ended? Or is it still ongoing and how did it feel to you? Do you notice a difference between the different plutonic relationships you had (assuming you had more than one)?

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MarsSaturnDelight
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posted March 21, 2019 07:23 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MarsSaturnDelight     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
How do you end a Pluto bond?

Find Saturn.

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Hikaru29
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posted March 21, 2019 12:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hikaru29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Explain.

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margym0o
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posted March 21, 2019 04:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for margym0o     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Hikaru29:
For those of you who've been through a plutonic relationship, how do you eventually walk away? Or are you still struggling with it?

I've tried to end things once and for all but it's been so hard. Every time I thought it's finally over, it comes back. It's never over. Either he walks back to me or I walk back to him.

I also had strong Pluto contacts with my ex and it also took me a long time (7yrs) to end that relationship but it didn't feel so emotionally excruciating. I was sad but my heart didn't bleed.

But with the current one it feels like my heart got stabbed. We haven't been together a long time (coming to a year) but it feels so painful. The last time we met we purposely ignored each other and I walked away feeling so sad I ended up flirting with another guy and so disgusted with myself for doing that.

I don't know why it feels much more painful this time round. When I broke up with my ex, I was so positive that, given time, I would get over him. And I did. With the current guy, my heart tells me that even if my heart heals, I'll never get over this. 😣

Is this the effect of Pluto squares in composite (square Sun/Venus/Mercury) vs Pluto conjunct/sextile/trine with my ex which doesn't feel so tormenting?

Or is it because of the closer bond the current guy and I have despite the shorter time together? We've a composite stellium (Sun/Mercury/Venus/Psyche/Cupido) in Cancer all trining Moon in Scorpio. With my ex our planets are scattered but formed a nice cradle in fire/air signs.

I really have no clue how to end this. Some advised me to painfully tear away and time will heal... Some advised me to just let the relationship run its course.

So I wanna know how yours ended? Or is it still ongoing and how did it feel to you? Do you notice a difference between the different plutonic relationships you had (assuming you had more than one)?


How old are you? Or should I say, how much time do you have to waste?

If time is of the essence for you and you are certain this is definitely NOT the person you want to spend your life with, to continuously reunite after a separation is a waste of time. You will need to make a conscious effort to COMPLETELY cut them out of your life - no texts, calls, social media, physical interactions, nothing. It will be painful (most breakups where there was any depth of feeling will be, it's normal) but you will need to keep yourself busy, enrich your own life and maybe even start going on dates with other people and you will be filled with a renewed sense of hope.

It could also just be your relationship experience. If you have had few romantic partners then perhaps up until this point you have been spared a true "heartbreak" and now the time has come for you to experience what real loss feels like. It's true what they say though, it does make you stronger.

You COULD try to remain friends if the breakup is amicable, but with these obsessive types of relationships it's often almost impossible to remain just strictly "friends." Only you know in your heart if that is possible.

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MarsSaturnDelight
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posted March 21, 2019 04:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MarsSaturnDelight     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Saturn is more binding for me.

But what is your synastry saying rather than composite?

I can walk away from Pluto, the need for transformation is more alluring; this is only achieved from walking away.

Saturn has me. I can never walk away from Saturn. No matter how much Pluto tempts me.

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Aries23Degrees
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posted March 21, 2019 05:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aries23Degrees     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Neptune

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Aries23Degrees
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posted March 21, 2019 05:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aries23Degrees     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Neptune dissolves slowly

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ChildofVenus
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posted March 21, 2019 05:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ChildofVenus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yes it's very hard and what if you also have strong Saturn as well? Strong Pluto and Saturn?

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MarsSaturnDelight
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posted March 21, 2019 05:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MarsSaturnDelight     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You’re fooked

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Lalafortunaea
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posted March 21, 2019 06:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lalafortunaea     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ask yourself questions, ask the universe.

What is it you need to learn?

What lessons?

Ask how you can end it?

Ask what signs to search for?

I've found, funnily enough, when I just ask, sooner or later, an answer comes, which helps the next phase.

This thread is the beginning.

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ChildofVenus
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posted March 21, 2019 06:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ChildofVenus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by MarsSaturnDelight:
You’re fooked

You mean me? I know lol.

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Hikaru29
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posted March 22, 2019 05:04 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hikaru29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by MarsSaturnDelight:
You’re fooked

In Synastry, we have:
My Pluto conjunct his Moon
His Pluto trine my Venus
My Pluto semisquare his Venus
My Pluto square his Mars
His Pluto quincunx my Mars

His Saturn trine my Moon
My Saturn square his Moon
My Saturn conjunct his Asc
His Saturn conjunct my IC
His Saturn square my Mercury
My Saturn conjunct his Mars


In composite/Davison, we have:
Pluto square Sun/Venus/Mercury
Saturn square Mars (only in composite)


Are we fooked?

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Hikaru29
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posted March 22, 2019 05:11 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hikaru29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
Neptune

You mean Neptune is a harder bond to break? Or releases us from Pluto bond?

In Synastry, we have:
Neptune biquintile Sun
Neptune conjunct/sextile Moon DW
Neptune trine/opp Venus DW
Neptune square/quincunx Mars DW
Neptune square Mercury
Neptune conjunct Dsc

In Composite:
Neptune conjunct Vertex
Neptune biquintile Venus
Neptune quincunx Sun/Mercury/Mars
Neptune trine Saturn
Neptune sextile Pluto

In Davison:
Neptune semi-sextile Moon
Neptune trine Saturn
Neptune sextile Pluto
Neptune quincunx SN
Neptune square Vertex


What's your take?

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Hikaru29
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posted March 22, 2019 05:28 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hikaru29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by margym0o:
How old are you? Or should I say, how much time do you have to waste?

I'm not young (lol) and this isn't my first heartbreak, but I feel so sad this time round... "sorrow" is the word. I think remaining friends is impossible at this juncture because we're still so attracted to each other.

We already did the no text/calls thing but I know he checks my profile pics. We may not be able to totally avoid each other so it's awkward... I don't know how long we can walk away from each other.

I know the best is to totally cut off and I wish with all my heart that we can just do that. Agonising.

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Aries23Degrees
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posted March 22, 2019 06:01 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aries23Degrees     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Hikaru29:
I'm not young (lol) and this isn't my first heartbreak, but I feel so sad this time round... "sorrow" is the word. I think remaining friends is impossible at this juncture because we're still so attracted to each other.

We already did the no text/calls thing but I know he checks my profile pics. We may not be able to totally avoid each other so we tried ignoring one another when we last met and it was so upsetting... so awkward... I don't know how long I can do this.

I know the best is to totally cut off but we can't bring ourselves to do it (yet). We keep asking the other person to cut it off because we can't do it. Agonising.


Pluto is momentum. Its like free-falling from an Airplane. You can't just "stop" mid air because you have changed your mind. Its just not possible.

What one can do is just see the jump through to the end. And this to me is no different. You have to see the momentum of what you two created right through to the end.

The alternative feels like torture because it IS. Pluto glued the experience you two had with each other and to dislocate it , WILL be painful.

My advice is Neptune. The slow dissolution over time is a better option than the brusque & abrupt severing of ties that Uranus is famous for.

The thing is that even when the tie is "severed" unceremoniously as Uranus wluld have it, the pain of sseparation will still linger on.

Have you two tried EVERYTHING to make it work?If not then perhaps you should re-think giving that a try seeing that BOTH of you still feel strongly about each other.

If only one of you feels strongly, that person should consider going to therapy(Neptune ruled)in order to learn coping mechanisms and techniques for the break-up.

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MarsSaturnDelight
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posted March 22, 2019 06:51 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MarsSaturnDelight     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Hikaru29:
In Synastry, we have:
My Pluto conjunct his Moon
His Pluto trine my Venus
My Pluto semisquare his Venus
My Pluto square his Mars
His Pluto quincunx my Mars

His Saturn trine my Moon
My Saturn square his Moon
My Saturn conjunct his Asc
His Saturn conjunct my IC
His Saturn square my Mercury
My Saturn conjunct his Mars


In composite/Davison, we have:
Pluto square Sun/Venus/Mercury
Saturn square Mars (only in composite)


Are we fooked?


Yes, by the looks of things and without doing a full on chart delineation, that would have me sucked in for starters.

Pluto is the attraction, what brings people together. The aspects and planets involved will determine the intensity.

Saturn comes along and slowly gets his claws into you, chains you up and forces you to endure the Pluto pain/obsession.

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Melinn
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posted March 22, 2019 10:41 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Melinn     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I feel your pain Hikaru... Or, more correctly, I can only imagine it!

As usual, Aries23 describes it so well, its a free fall thing, you can't look back!

I can't give good advice, I'm in a middle of a separation myself, but it was just a friendship, with feelings. For me, deep plutonic intense feelings. For him, I don't know.

And in our synastry, we have for ex double whammies with a trine and sextile between our Venuses-Saturns.

And this is such a huuge mess: Uranus, Saturn, Neptune and Pluto are all involved in various double whammies with almost all our personal planets plus angles in synastry! A "mess" is an understatement!

Both our composite and davison are plutonic and saturnian!

I'm at loss too.

What helps me is using saturns coldness, uranus detachment and, hate, as a fuel.

My plutos fuel is feeling hate.. That makes me propell myself away from a person. But maybe I'm just kidding myself. Hate is too energy craving, also hate means you still feel something for the person.

Well ok its like, either you have to kill all your feelings for a person and become indifferent.

Or if you are unable to kill feelings, kill atleast all "good feelings" so only negatives are left.

Also, new life goals, a job that is fulfilling etc may help you focus on other stuff...

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EmGem
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posted March 22, 2019 02:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for EmGem     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
Yes it's very hard and what if you also have strong Saturn as well? Strong Pluto and Saturn?

Exactly what I’m going through right now. With strong Pluto and Saturn. AND Uranus to shake things up. Lord help me 😑
I’m definitely f****d !!!

All I can suggest is total utter surrender, if you believe in a higher power. Things then start to move in the direction the Universe/God intended for your highest good... the moment you try to control....no bueno.

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Hikaru29
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posted March 23, 2019 05:43 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hikaru29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
Pluto is momentum. Its like free-falling from an Airplane. You can't just "stop" mid air because you have changed your mind. Its just not possible.

What one can do is just see the jump through to the end. And this to me is no different. You have to see the momentum of what you two created right through to the end.

The alternative feels like torture because it IS. Pluto glued the experience you two had with each other and to dislocate it , WILL be painful.

My advice is Neptune. The slow dissolution over time is a better option than the brusque & abrupt severing of ties that Uranus is famous for.


It feels just like the way you described it. When we realised we had developed strong feelings, we were too far in. The Uranian type separation was too painful.

Thanks for explaining Neptune. I also have been thinking about letting it naturally dissolve. It's painful but at least it doesn't feel like someone is pulling my heart out.

I'm not sure if I wanna try again as I'm now confused how he actually feels about me because of all my negative thoughts. This is not his doing. It's my own issue. When I broke up with my last 2 boyfriends, I walked away believing that they never loved me. I don't know this for a fact of course. Now with him I'm having this feeling again. I kept telling myself I don't mean anything to him and I should just leave. My friend said I'm crazy negative.

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Hikaru29
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posted March 23, 2019 06:01 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hikaru29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Melinn:
I feel your pain Hikaru... Or, more correctly, I can only imagine it!

As usual, Aries23 describes it so well, its a free fall thing, you can't look back!

I can't give good advice, I'm in a middle of a separation myself, but it was just a friendship, with feelings. For me, deep plutonic intense feelings. For him, I don't know.

And in our synastry, we have for ex double whammies with a trine and sextile between our Venuses-Saturns.

And this is such a huuge mess: Uranus, Saturn, Neptune and Pluto are all involved in various double whammies with almost all our personal planets plus angles in synastry! A "mess" is an understatement!

Both our composite and davison are plutonic and saturnian!

I'm at loss too.


*HUGS*

We don't have strong Uranus but I feel that Pluto + Saturn + Neptune is already a HUGE mess!

Pluto... makes us SO freaking possessive. We'd say 'let's break up' and then get so jealous when we see each other with someone else.

Saturn... makes us so dependent on each other for emotional comfort, and that secure secure feeling... it's like a drug. This was felt early on in our relationship.

Neptune... so dreamy, loving and forgiving. There's an emotional connection. I tried to hate him but I couldn't! 😖 We couldn't even have a proper quarrel.

quote:
What helps me is using saturns coldness, uranus detachment and, hate, as a fuel.

My plutos fuel is feeling hate.. That makes me propell myself away from a person. But maybe I'm just kidding myself. Hate is too energy craving, also hate means you still feel something for the person.

Well ok its like, either you have to kill all your feelings for a person and become indifferent.

Or if you are unable to kill feelings, kill atleast all "good feelings" so only negatives are left.


You sound like me here! I used hate to propel me away from my 1st boyfriend. It worked like magic as I moved on in a heartbeat. He was shocked at how fast I moved on. But it was very damaging as I hated him for a long time and was like a "porcupine".

With my 2nd ex I killed off all positive feelings for him. It worked as well but it took a longer time. I don't hate him though and now we're friends.

In both cases I convinced myself that they didn't love me which helped me to move on but it's not a good thing because it bruised my self-esteem. After the 2 relationships, I was convinced I'm unlovable.

When I met this guy I felt emotionally 'alive' again... but now this feeling of unloved is coming back. 😢

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Aries23Degrees
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posted March 23, 2019 06:07 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aries23Degrees     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Hikaru29:
It feels just like the way you described it. When we realised we had developed strong feelings, we were too far in. The Uranian type separation was too painful.

Thanks for explaining Neptune. I also have been thinking about letting it naturally dissolve. It's painful but at least it doesn't feel like someone is pulling my heart out.

I'm not sure if I wanna try again as I'm now confused how he actually feels about me because of all my negative thoughts. This is not his doing. It's my own issue. When I broke up with my last 2 boyfriends, I walked away believing that they never loved me. I don't know this for a fact of course. Now with him I'm having this feeling again. I kept telling myself I don't mean anything to him and I should just leave. My friend said I'm crazy negative.


I don't think you are crazy. Just fearful. So now instead you are hurting 2 people i.e the guy AND yourself

I get your reservation, you think its best to "work" on yourself separated from him? Perhaps not be too "crowded" by expectation?

Is Saturn transiting Mercury/Moon by any chance?

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Hikaru29
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posted March 23, 2019 10:20 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hikaru29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
I don't think you are crazy. Just fearful. So now instead you are hurting 2 people i.e the guy AND yourself

I get your reservation, you think its best to "work" on yourself separated from him? Perhaps not be too "crowded" by expectation?

Is Saturn transiting Mercury/Moon by any chance?


Transit Saturn is semi-sextile natal Moon, trine natal Mercury.

I'm afraid that my negativity will drive him away and he will come to dislike me, so before that happens I wanna leave first. That's what I've been thinking.

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Hikaru29
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posted March 23, 2019 10:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hikaru29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by MarsSaturnDelight:
Yes, by the looks of things and without doing a full on chart delineation, that would have me sucked in for starters.

Pluto is the attraction, what brings people together. The aspects and planets involved will determine the intensity.

Saturn comes along and slowly gets his claws into you, chains you up and forces you to endure the Pluto pain/obsession.


Sounds like a slow, painful death.

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Melinn
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posted March 23, 2019 12:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Melinn     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
...

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Aries23Degrees
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posted March 23, 2019 01:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aries23Degrees     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Hikaru29:
Transit Saturn is semi-sextile natal Moon, trine natal Mercury.

I'm afraid that my negativity will drive him away and he will come to dislike me, so before that happens I wanna leave first. That's what I've been thinking.


A defense against loss. I get you

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