posted April 04, 2019 06:49 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by ChildofVenus:Venus square Neptune is 9 degrees. Venus square Uranus is 2 degrees. And Venus square Saturn is 8 degrees. So that means that the Venus square Uranus has more influence. Changed his mind? I don't think you understand. I do not want to be in a relationship with him. I still talk to the Virgo guy and I want to keep seeing him.

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Maybe this situation is too complicated for me to get.But this is what I surmise from this set-up:

You have a guy that you have a "friends with benefits" situation . Its not exclusive.

You are starting to really like this guy but are weary of losing the "friends with benefits" part.

You are wrestling with whether or not to tell the guy for fear of losing "friends with benefits" part.

The guy is a Gemini and you don't want to involve yourself in anything serious(relationship).You just want to tell the Gemini guy you like him .But carry things on with the more "dependable" Virgo.

Is that it?

So in my view this boils down to you distrusting the Gemini but can't stop yourself catching feelings for him.The Virgo is the "buffer".

You want to "get it off your chest" to tell Gemini.

Me: To what end?

Your answer:"I just want him to know that I like him but don't want a relationship. As I am still seeing the buffer(Virgo) and would much rather have feelings for them because they are "safe".

Me: So why tell the Gemini at all?Why not just keep it to yourself?

You:I want to get it off my chest

Me: To what end?

You:I don't want a relationship.

Me:So why tell him at all.

You:To get it off my chest.

Me:

I sense more fear of rejection on your end than anything else. As you said initially you don't want to "scare" him away.So perhaps you are kicking yourself for falling for a Gemini?

posted April 04, 2019 07:07 PM            

And I get your scare with Gemini men. If you had a personal bad experience it'll haunt you. But you gotta give people a chance. I don't think it's fair to judge someone before you know them.

posted April 04, 2019 08:38 PM            

You can do it. It's just a matter of one sentence. You'll get through it. Don't pass it up. You'll only regret it.

But whatever ends up happening, just know that it's not how you're defined as and don't let it get to you.

And I wouldn't normally say this, but I think this might help you... this Pisces guy I kept on talking about on this forum? Dunno if you kept track... He rejected me. And honestly I couldn't feel more ok with it. Yeah of course it wasn't the greatest feeling. And I'd be lying if I said that he's not on my mind anymore... But I have to say it raised the bar for me and I'm not even sure how.

So what I'm saying is, yeah it might hurt. But two things will happen. You'll know the truth, which BTW he might totally reciprocate those feelings the possibility is definitely there. And two you'll have a completely new perspective on things. I promise it's worth the shot. That's the only way you grow. But it's essential that you don't let it get to you.

It's just how life is. You gotta roll the ball sometimes. And aim again if it fails. The more you do so, the better you'll get at it.

posted April 04, 2019 10:37 PM            

Even if two people have similar chart placements it doesn't make two people the same.

A friend of mine I use to talk to was born 12 hours before me...

Placement wise the only difference between me and him was he had a Pisces moon and ascendant...+ our planets had different conjunctions, tines and etc.

Even with those minor differences we were two different Gemini suns..he was the more sensitive type, I was the more serious...and to an embarrassing omission I was the more cunning one out of the two of us.

Even with your father...I doubt I have anything in common with him.

I doubt he would be camping overnight in a university library right now..trying to figure out university level discrete math and graph theory..if I can get everything worked out and combine it with number theory..its worth it more then any women for me right now.

Why did I have to say that?? I'd like to believe in the following:

1)Everyone is an individual..no two
people are 100% the same. A Family
friend has twin girls the same age
as me born only 5min apart..I've meet
them both and they are two different
people even with similar charts.

2) Upbring and environment makes a
difference I think... if the place
the person lives has nothing but
negative transits it will bring out
all the negatives of that person but
if there in right place all the
merrier.

Do I think that Gem is like your father...probably not. Could he cheat like your dad?? Maybe.

But you have an edge... living 20yrs with your Gemini father means you can spot him before this Gems gets the chance to.

When you grow up with other signs in your household that aren't compatible to your sun you'll see there bad traits but you'll also know how to spot them and deal with them better then others, experience dealing with other signs always comes out.

I think you can handle him better then you think you can...

posted April 05, 2019 02:54 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Bismarck2:
As a guy who has my ascendant, mars and jupiter in Gemini, just tell him you like him.

These games are silly and a waste of time.

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As a Moon and ASC in Gemini, I agree.

There was this Aries guy that told me once he likes me as a super matter of fact. I found it to be pretty cool and actually cute. I didn't feel any pressure or anything, since he was so casual about it. You should do the same.

And about "And someone on here told me that a relationship with him wouldn't last anyway."

You're taking a human opinion and assuming it as a fact. It was just his/her opinion. I'd assume anyone into Astrology should know that. You can't be gullible when it comes to Astrology predictions.

posted April 05, 2019 05:28 AM            

Now the complex thing with you is if he's just a F buddy to you, why the need to read charts? The only thing that should matter is whether you're sexually compatible, isn't it? And this you should already know. Also, a friendship is much easier to manage than a romantic r/s. Some of the challenges you see in your chart may not even play out as you're not on that intimate level.

I'll advise you to NOT say anything to the Gemini guy until you sort out your own feelings because if you suddenly tell him you like him, he may think you wanna be exclusive... but if you say you don't want a r/s with him, he may assumed you're just saying he's your preferred F buddy (lol), to which he may not respond and you may then think he's not interested and cut him off.

posted April 05, 2019 09:02 AM            

that being said you don't just tell friends you give a **** just because in casual conversation? because you just say it there's no need to make it into a big deal particularly when you don't want more though it doesn't even need to be said really

i would imagine you spending time together and having sex would be more than enough for him to get it into his head that you do like him as a person

if you didn't you'd either just be ******* or you wouldn't be in the picture, and if he can't figure that out based on interacting with you then something is wrong

some things can just go unsaid

about what you said when it comes to love, yeah caring about someone means you open yourself up to pain whether it's something they do down the line or just life that's what giving a **** does

but it can still be worthwhile, there's all the **** in between that matters too not just a moment where there's pain

besides blocking yourself off from experiencing those things causes pain in its own way and leaves people feeling empty, there's no winning or escaping pain whether you open yourself up or close yourself off but at least opening yourself up comes with the possibility of more beautiful experiences that can be shared and not just isolated to you

posted April 05, 2019 09:11 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
Honestly I don’t think he has the time for a relationship right now. He works two maybe even three jobs at a time and he makes music. He had to take off work just for us to meet up. He’s busy and I don’t want to add to that. I’ll tell him I like him but I’m not going to push for a relationship. Relationships are a lot of responsibility I'm just not pressed about being in a relationship right now.
Just because you like someone doesn't mean you have rush into a relationship with them.

And someone on here told me that a relationship with him wouldn't last anyway. Because once the progression is over with the relationship would end. That's another reason why I don't want to get involved with him. Why bother? When things will end anyway it's pointless.

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just because something ends doesn't mean it was pointless to experience

and you should probably stop using the virgo guy as back up, that's just not cool to do to another person keeping someone around because they're "safe" when you really want someone else is ultimately unfair to everyone involved

and just because one astrologer predicts something doesn't mean that's how it will play out, there's so many minor details and ways things can express themselves that it's pointless to just trust a single perspective

to me it seems like you accept the idea that things will go to **** easily because it allows you to keep your guard up and it's easier to talk yourself out of vulnerable positions the more negative and fixated you are on the end of things and possible pain

just keep in mind the possibility of pleasure and positive experiences is there too, and you're denying yourself that at the cost of trying to avoid the other but sometimes that avoidance can be what hurts more and makes you feel worse

posted April 05, 2019 09:34 AM            

"Honestly I don’t think he has the time for a relationship right now. He works two maybe even three jobs at a time and he makes music. He had to take off work just for us to meet up."

posted April 05, 2019 09:38 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
just because something ends doesn't mean it was pointless to experience

and you should probably stop using the virgo guy as back up, that's just not cool to do to another person keeping someone around because they're "safe" when you really want someone else is ultimately unfair to everyone involved

and just because one astrologer predicts something doesn't mean that's how it will play out, there's so many minor details and ways things can express themselves that it's pointless to just trust a single perspective

to me it seems like you accept the idea that things will go to **** easily because it allows you to keep your guard up and it's easier to talk yourself out of vulnerable positions the more negative and fixated you are on the end of things and possible pain

just keep in mind the possibility of pleasure and positive experiences is there too, and you're denying yourself that at the cost of trying to avoid the other but sometimes that avoidance can be what hurts more and makes you feel worse

don't self sabotage out of fear

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posted April 05, 2019 09:45 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
I’m not using the Virgo I actually do like him he’s like family to me which I already mentioned. I just want to be friends with the Gemini I wish we could be roommates. I know it’s not a good idea for me to be in a relationship as I have my own issues obviously.

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everyone's got their issues, but you don't move past them without stepping out of your comfort zone

all you can do in this situation is just relax and see where **** goes, but if you feel like telling someone you care then there's no reason to avoid it holding back on the good **** doesn't do anyone any favors

also i tend to see people keeping a "safe option" around like back up as an imbalance to anything they can have with anyone else and their relationship with that individual

posted April 05, 2019 01:52 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
everyone's got their issues, but you don't move past them without stepping out of your comfort zone

all you can do in this situation is just relax and see where **** goes, but if you feel like telling someone you care then there's no reason to avoid it holding back on the good **** doesn't do anyone any favors

also i tend to see people keeping a "safe option" around like back up as an imbalance to anything they can have with anyone else and their relationship with that individual

you should consider meditating on all of this and seeing where that leads you

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posted April 05, 2019 02:01 PM            

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Originally posted by Brenda_S:
Look, I completely get it. People fall for people all the time. And it's not just women, it's men too. But given the 50/50 chance, it might be a win for you just as it might be a lose. And you can't know if you don't put yourself on the line. You don't have to involve your ego. But by not taking the gamble there will always be the what if. And honestly, if he's not interested in you, why would you wanna continue with him anyway? Just so he can use you for sex? Even though that started out being your sole interest too, it changed for you. And if he doesn't feel the same then you want to know, don't you? Again that doesn't mean you should involve your ego. You being an Aqua Moon I'm sure you can detach words from emotion. Just tell him you like him, be casual about it. No need to be like 'omg I like you'. Just something like 'I like you, I think you're cool' or something.

And I get your scare with Gemini men. If you had a personal bad experience it'll haunt you. But you gotta give people a chance. I don't think it's fair to judge someone before you know them.

Does he have any past relationship history? And what was it like, did he cheat? Ask him if you're good buddies. Just bring it up casually. That'll give you something to work with.

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Yeah I agree here.

And before you divulge, maybe get to know him even more, learn about his past. Ask him questions.

if he never ever confides and never tells you what he's done then that'll be a tad worrisome.