posted May 31, 2019 12:33 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
i'll deal with confrontation when it arises, i'm not about to obsess over how every word i say might be taken wrong because it didn't even occur to me that someone would jump down my throat and yet here you are

i can tell you probably dislike me as a person, and that's cool, but again you're hyperfocusing on words used ignoring how they were meant and completely not acknowledging everything that works against your narrative

and i feel like you're just doing it to argue i guess you're bored maybe idk

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Disliking someone over the Internet is impossible, IMO. I have no idea who you really are or what you're really like. I dislike the way you communicate at times. And I wholeheartedly disagree with your opinions, or rather, the way you express them. But I don't dislike you...I don't dislike anyone on this forum, actually.

posted May 31, 2019 12:37 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
Hahaha I feel every time I start a thread to celebrate a sign it attracts criticism but yes it is showing how we are good at debating and standing up for ourselves, we are warriors, witty, sharp and have a strong spirit, resilient. Dont F with us, we are not just going to stay quiet and take it.

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must just be your luck, that's pretty funny though

lol well that's an optimistic spin on it, could work with that "beauty of virgo" we'll fight you for days

though in all honesty that side of virgo actually doesn't get spoken about pretty much at all, generally speaking a lot of weakness tends to be attached to the sign unfairly

posted May 31, 2019 12:44 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by StubbornVirgo:
Disliking someone over the Internet is impossible, IMO. I have no idea who you really are or what you're really like. I dislike the way you communicate at times. And I wholeheartedly disagree with your opinions, or rather, the way you express them. But I don't dislike you...I don't dislike anyone on this forum, actually.

I don't argue just to argue. It raises my blood pressure and I'm not a fan of that. I am defensive and if I feel like I'm being attacked, I stand up for myself.

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posted May 31, 2019 12:47 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by StubbornVirgo:
Disliking someone over the Internet is impossible, IMO. I have no idea who you really are or what you're really like. I dislike the way you communicate at times. And I wholeheartedly disagree with your opinions, or rather, the way you express them. But I don't dislike you...I don't dislike anyone on this forum, actually.

I don't argue just to argue. It raises my blood pressure and I'm not a fan of that. I am defensive and if I feel like I'm being attacked, I stand up for myself.

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i find it possible to like people online, and therefore equally possible to dislike them all depends on frequency of speaking to them and so on

i'm really a 12 year old malaysian factory worker using a stolen phone i assembled by hand to type all this

and eh i get it, i can be an ******* and people don't always know how to take me, is what it is lol but like i said i think you took a lot of what i said in a manner it wasn't intended and i think you took an offhand generalization as all of my thoughts on the industry and a single comment will never be enough for that

sorry if i raised your blood pressure, not my intention

i don't feel that sort of thing when i argue with people personally, but you gave me the virgo mercury headache so i suppose at least we're even

i legit wasn't trying to attack you though at any point, but i'm aware i have an aggressive nature and that underlying energy can come out through communication so just to be clear here it was never this personal thing towards you

posted May 31, 2019 12:52 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by teasel:
I missed what transpired over the last page or two, but any sign will attract the negativity. Some just get more attention in that way. I stopped interacting in most of the astrology groups I was added to on facebook, or even here, because if people want to get their hate on, it's acceptable to attack Venus in Gemini. I was added to another group the other day, and one of the first posts I saw was, "who is the most attractive and the most ugly sign?" - the first comment had Aries coming up as the ugliest. I'm not into that.

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we properly gave a demonstration of a few of virgos negative traits which hypatia put a positive spin on that works better for the thread

virgo-virgo argument

posted May 31, 2019 01:08 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
we properly gave a demonstration of a few of virgos negative traits which hypatia put a positive spin on that works better for the thread

virgo-virgo argument

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Oh, I'm glad that it was kind of positive then.

posted May 31, 2019 01:14 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by teasel:
Oh, I'm glad that it was kind of positive then.

I don't like arguments, but I woke up thinking about one I was a part of, before I finally fell asleep this morning. I think I got about four hours of sleep, at most. But it's political crap, and there is no point in my continuing to respond there. It's a pretty day, I'm going outside.

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yeah, all worked out eventually

when it comes to arguments it depends on who they're with and what they're about whether or not i enjoy or hate them

this one in particular i didn't really care for lol

hope you feel better though i'm sure fresh air will help

posted May 31, 2019 02:27 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
must just be your luck, that's pretty funny though

lol well that's an optimistic spin on it, could work with that "beauty of virgo" we'll fight you for days

though in all honesty that side of virgo actually doesn't get spoken about pretty much at all, generally speaking a lot of weakness tends to be attached to the sign unfairly

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Hahahahahaha thanks for making me laugh! "lol well that's an optimistic spin on it, could work with that "beauty of virgo" we'll fight you for days"

posted May 31, 2019 03:34 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
Hahahahahaha thanks for making me laugh! "lol well that's an optimistic spin on it, could work with that "beauty of virgo" we'll fight you for days"

I will fight but if I start to feel we are going in circles I start to quiet down and go do some alone time..

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depends on my mood as far as i go

posted May 31, 2019 11:41 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by teasel:
I missed what transpired over the last page or two, but any sign will attract the negativity. Some just get more attention in that way. I stopped interacting in most of the astrology groups I was added to on facebook, or even here, because if people want to get their hate on, it's acceptable to attack Venus in Gemini. I was added to another group the other day, and one of the first posts I saw was, "who is the most attractive and the most ugly sign?" - the first comment had Aries coming up as the ugliest. I'm not into that.

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I can relate, it makes you just want to check out and stop interacting in forums sometimes. I get that and know how it can feel, but then you interact with someone else in the forum and they make you laugh and you enjoy that and you are thinking how much you like their personality or that specific interaction with them etc.

posted June 01, 2019 11:58 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by StubbornVirgo:
That's good to know and greatly appreciated. I'm also aware that I can come off as self righteous and a know it all. It doesn't make interactions easy, sometimes.

And since it came up earlier, I have Sun, Mercury and Venus in Virgo. Gemini Moon and Mars (tight conjunction - 1 degree orb I believe). Cap ASC. I'm an 8th house Sun and Mercury...clearly I'm very good at letting things go.

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there's a really good chance my saturn might be squaring some of your placements (i have it square my sun natal, but my sun is 0 degrees) and my mars might hit your ascendant which means my moon (aries) and venus (libra) might square it etc

lot of potential hard aspects between us, i figured as much

your mars and moon might also be hitting my chiron depending on the degrees too come to think of it (which isn't the worst, my chiron has a lot of easy aspects to it)

i have a friend who has a virgo mercury/venus conjunction and her and i argue constantly (her sun is in leo, her sun is conjunct my mercury and my sun is conjunct hers) when we talk a lot

you do come off that way yeah lol, it's cool though

posted June 01, 2019 08:25 PM            

We all have a strong voice and are good at expressing ourselves and had good points to make even if we did not see eye to eye on some things.

posted June 01, 2019 08:45 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hypatia238:

We all have a strong voice and are good at expressing ourselves and had good points to make even if we did not see eye to eye on some things.

Lets make a list of positive Virgo traits lol

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lol to be fair i think being self critical is a positive trait, a lot of people don't examine themselves and don't pay attention to or notice their flaws which makes it impossible to work on or deal with them

we break down and pick ourselves apart, but it's not destructive it's to try to keep being better

i think people mistake virgos being critical for them being overly judgemental but that's usually not the case at all, it's not this harsh thing to acknowledge where perfection doesnt exist and it isn't passing judgement in this negative way

it's a trait i respect in people, to be able to look at themselves and say yeah i can be this way sometimes even if they're saying negative makes them more real and grounded than people who won't (or in some cases can't) do that

though i've noticed a lot of plutonic people are capable of that as well, except plenty of them follow that up by using their flaws to justify some **** that isn't always justifiable, they're more destructive about it usually but i suppose that's part of being more fixed you need to destroy to rebuild because more fluid change isn't as easy

posted June 01, 2019 09:22 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
there's a really good chance my saturn might be squaring some of your placements (i have it square my sun natal, but my sun is 0 degrees) and my mars might hit your ascendant which means my moon (aries) and venus (libra) might square it etc

lot of potential hard aspects between us, i figured as much

your mars and moon might also be hitting my chiron depending on the degrees too come to think of it (which isn't the worst, my chiron has a lot of easy aspects to it)

i have a friend who has a virgo mercury/venus conjunction and her and i argue constantly (her sun is in leo, her sun is conjunct my mercury and my sun is conjunct hers) when we talk a lot

you do come off that way yeah lol, it's cool though

can give that to virgos, we know our flaws

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posted June 02, 2019 02:29 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
lol to be fair i think being self critical is a positive trait, a lot of people don't examine themselves and don't pay attention to or notice their flaws which makes it impossible to work on or deal with them

we break down and pick ourselves apart, but it's not destructive it's to try to keep being better

i think people mistake virgos being critical for them being overly judgemental but that's usually not the case at all, it's not this harsh thing to acknowledge where perfection doesnt exist and it isn't passing judgement in this negative way

it's a trait i respect in people, to be able to look at themselves and say yeah i can be this way sometimes even if they're saying negative makes them more real and grounded than people who won't (or in some cases can't) do that

though i've noticed a lot of plutonic people are capable of that as well, except plenty of them follow that up by using their flaws to justify some **** that isn't always justifiable, they're more destructive about it usually but i suppose that's part of being more fixed you need to destroy to rebuild because more fluid change isn't as easy

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I call that self-awareness and humility what you call self-critical. I agree that is a wonderful trait. I respect it a lot if someone is just honest with themselves and upfront about something they struggle with instead of denying it. Its not that you have flaws, that is no big deal, I won't judge you for that but if you are unaware of it and hiding from the truth that irritates me and makes me lose respect for the other, the inability of the other to be honest with themselves.

"it's a trait i respect in people, to be able to look at themselves and say yeah i can be this way sometimes even if they're saying negative makes them more real and grounded than people who won't (or in some cases can't) do that"

posted June 02, 2019 06:15 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by teasel:
Your sun opposes my mars, that might be why our first interaction was a bit contentious. Moon/Venus/SN at the beginning of Gemini. All virgos will have their suns in my 10th/11th.

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i tend to either rub people the wrong way immediately or they like me, there's very rarely an in between and i can get some strong reactions

what i have noticed though is sometimes people who i rub the wrong way can feel different about me after getting to know me better one on one because when it comes to one on one interaction after a bit a i tend to show a different side of myself that they prefer

my chiron is towards the end of gemini, but my saturn is at 3 degrees sag, so chances are there's my saturn hitting your mars and moon/venus/sn

@hypatia

i see being self critical as the first step to being self aware because i see being self aware as more of a process than the initial examination of yourself

i'm not particularly judgemental in general, generally speaking people can tell me pretty much anything and i'm alright with it and i can accept conflict and issues etc without me seeing it as anything other than an issue in that moment and not even necessarily a reflection of that person (only when i see patterns do i figure "well that's them" and then it's still not like anyone is perfect so i see no issue with being flawed in an of itself)

whether or not i can deal with those particular flaws is something else entirely, but when i can't i see it partially as a matter of my own short comings

someone can have issues, i can be aware of them, i can dislike them but if i'm unable to deal with them i know that's partially due to my own personality and issues because my interactions aren't exactly one sided

i think it's interesting that when it comes to the pisces/virgo axis virgo ends up taking a lot of heat for not being as accepting or empathetic, but in reality i haven't found that to be the case and both signs tend to exhibit those traits it's just the way they're expressed is different

i won't sit around and cry with someone if they have an issue, but if i feel for them i'll try to find ways to help them help themselves (because just helping someone is frequently useless if they don't learn how to continue to do so it's just putting a patch on things) and i'll probably say things they won't want to hear (which pisces doesn't generally do) but it's only because sometimes someone has to and i think it can be more caring/productive in some cases to be the person who does

it's a less emotional/watery sort of empathy

posted June 02, 2019 01:27 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
I think self reflection leads to self awareness, I think the act of critizing often leads to feelings of shame such as "there is something deeply wrong with me" and shame is part of the cycle of addiction and leads to relapse. There is way to much shame going around and many people dont know how to practice self compassion. I think is important to be aware of your flaws without putting yourself down bc then the negative thoughts kick in that feed anxiety and depression and trigger shame. Critizing seeks to assign blame and self reflection has a more detached exploratory connotation.

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i think people put a negative connotation on the word "criticism" but it isn't in and of itself negative which is why i don't see an issue with using it in the manner i used it

i don't see it as this shame based thing

when i record something i'm working on and listen to it to criticize it i'm not upset by the mistakes i catch i see it like i can better myself because i've noticed them

i think the word just has unnecessary negativity attached to it so people hear it and immediately think it's bad but if it was the phrase "constructive criticism" wouldn't exist

i can honestly say as someone who's had a lot of experience with addiction on a personal level i don't really find that shame factors into my behaviors with substances pretty much ever

even with heroin the biggest factor with relapsing was availability and withdrawal being horrible was what would frequently get me right back on it

when i feel compelled to use drugs as a crutch for negative feelings shame isn't usually one of them boredom, depression (which is separate from shame), frustration those are big ones but i don't actually see it as this shameful thing so it's just not part of it

but i'd be experiencing severe withdrawal, run into someone and then there'd be free heroin so i'd just cycle right back and not feel like trying again because it takes a lot to psych yourself up for actually experiencing that **** and it'd go on longer

relapse was always a matter of circumstance for me and sometimes being sober is about feeling something new when i've used drugs too long

i don't even regret it in all honesty, i felt like i learned a lot from the experience and i'm alright with it when i don't tell someone else about it it's because i know that they're going to have feelings on it that i don't want to deal with rather than it being a matter of shame

i enjoy drugs, i enjoy trying new ones to experience different states of mind, and i'm the sort of person who will use to excess because i like to feel a lot of different things at once and if it feels good i want to feel it for as long as possible (with heroin withdrawal hits the first time you break the 3 days in a row only rule, and at first the withdrawal isn't bad so you don't think anything of breaking it again and then it gets worse from there)

i like drugs the way i like sex, music, or **** even something like roller coasters, and if i already am doing one thing i like why not more at the same time? drugs are something you can do along with other enjoyable things you know?

i could stand to have more self control because purely pursuing pleasure isn't always constructive, but i don't really feel like it's this shameful thing and i think a lot of the ideas of "shame" when it comes to some **** come from other people and stigma rather than being the biggest side of the issue (as in them projecting shame rather than it being experienced)

at least in my experience, because to me saying "i'd be sober from now on" means "i'll never have the kind of fun i enjoy for the rest of my life" and then it becomes a matter of "why would i want that?" if that makes sense

posted June 08, 2019 03:24 AM            

Any words of the Wisdom from Warrent Buffet or Jarred Diamond http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IESYMFtLIis always speaks true, its
practical and straight to the point.

posted June 08, 2019 02:10 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
i think people put a negative connotation on the word "criticism" but it isn't in and of itself negative which is why i don't see an issue with using it in the manner i used it

i don't see it as this shame based thing

when i record something i'm working on and listen to it to criticize it i'm not upset by the mistakes i catch i see it like i can better myself because i've noticed them

i think the word just has unnecessary negativity attached to it so people hear it and immediately think it's bad but if it was the phrase "constructive criticism" wouldn't exist

i can honestly say as someone who's had a lot of experience with addiction on a personal level i don't really find that shame factors into my behaviors with substances pretty much ever

even with heroin the biggest factor with relapsing was availability and withdrawal being horrible was what would frequently get me right back on it

when i feel compelled to use drugs as a crutch for negative feelings shame isn't usually one of them boredom, depression (which is separate from shame), frustration those are big ones but i don't actually see it as this shameful thing so it's just not part of it

but i'd be experiencing severe withdrawal, run into someone and then there'd be free heroin so i'd just cycle right back and not feel like trying again because it takes a lot to psych yourself up for actually experiencing that **** and it'd go on longer

relapse was always a matter of circumstance for me and sometimes being sober is about feeling something new when i've used drugs too long

i don't even regret it in all honesty, i felt like i learned a lot from the experience and i'm alright with it when i don't tell someone else about it it's because i know that they're going to have feelings on it that i don't want to deal with rather than it being a matter of shame

i enjoy drugs, i enjoy trying new ones to experience different states of mind, and i'm the sort of person who will use to excess because i like to feel a lot of different things at once and if it feels good i want to feel it for as long as possible (with heroin withdrawal hits the first time you break the 3 days in a row only rule, and at first the withdrawal isn't bad so you don't think anything of breaking it again and then it gets worse from there)

i like drugs the way i like sex, music, or **** even something like roller coasters, and if i already am doing one thing i like why not more at the same time? drugs are something you can do along with other enjoyable things you know?

i could stand to have more self control because purely pursuing pleasure isn't always constructive, but i don't really feel like it's this shameful thing and i think a lot of the ideas of "shame" when it comes to some **** come from other people and stigma rather than being the biggest side of the issue (as in them projecting shame rather than it being experienced)

at least in my experience, because to me saying "i'd be sober from now on" means "i'll never have the kind of fun i enjoy for the rest of my life" and then it becomes a matter of "why would i want that?" if that makes sense

people use for all different reasons and i'm sure many fall into that whole shame based thing, but i can't relate to that on any level

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I get for you shame does not factor into your cycle of addiction but for people who are actually trying to be sober they usually feel a lot of shame when they relapse and this puts them at risk of continuing to use to numb the feelings of shame hence why it goes on a loop and is considered a negative cycle. In your case you are not seriously trying to quit, you use on an ongoing basis and you have no intention of quitting, you are not even in the Precontemplative phase of change because you dont feel using is a problem period so ofcourse shame is not part of your addictive cycle. I get depression and boredom is part of what drives you to use though. There is a Ted talk titled "everything you think you know about addiction is wrong." Basically it highlights that disconnection drives addiction and feeling like your life is not full. Its a great Ted Talk, you will like it.

Is also true there is a high correlation between substance abuse and having a history of trauma so distracting from the pain of the trauma is a factor.

posted June 08, 2019 02:26 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DualGemV2:
Some Virgo's put me off while others I have that mercurial connection, within 1min of them speaking I know exactly what the point there driving across.

My Planets
=========================================
☉‘ ♊, ☽ ♈, ASC ♑, ☿ ♊, ¡÷ ♉, ¡ö ♋ , ♃ ♒, ♄ ♏, ♅ ♐, ♆ ♑

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posted June 08, 2019 08:56 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
I can relate.

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I mention Warren Buffet and Jarred Diamond because both men are approaching there early 90's and yet there minds are as sharp as any grad student.

Both men are "pedigree" of a clear sharp Virgo mind. I have experienced this with coworkers and classmates.

I don't know if its the Virgo practically that ends up with a clear and uncluttered mind.

Sorta like a Honda Civic, its practical...cut out all the unnecessary crap and focus only on the important elements like reliability instead of over complicating parts which will fail.

On the other end of spectrum theres Micheal Jackson..creative yes but makes you scratch your head sometimes.

If I dare to speak I think hypatia238 you'd be the type of Virgo I'd be listing to some kind of lecture and Dumuzi whould be the type of Virgo, I think he is a virgo sun that whould have me scratching my head.