posted September 23, 2021 06:04 AM            

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Originally posted by LovelyAries86:
Which country do you reside in? That's good to know that the childcare there is done by income. As too many moms here in America (especially single ones) are going completely BROKE paying for childcare each week! It's ridiculous.

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I live in the Netherlands. While not as extreme as in the Scandinavian countries, there is a lot of involvement from the government to enable mothers to keep working. Fathers are also stimulated to work part time and take care of their children. We have two sons and I worked 3 days a week and my ex worked 4 days a week until our youngest went to school. We only needed 2 days of childcare a week. This also helped them prepare for school. Most higher educated couples have this type of arrangement in our country. It’s kind of the norm here.

posted September 23, 2021 07:52 AM            

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Originally posted by vansio:
There’s a saying:

If a man does not have his own resources, he’ll be toxic to any woman he’s with. (a masculine principle)

True commitment to love can create abundance. Couples who [b]love each other would not fight (read: separate) over money, as EternalEnergy mentioned. However, this underlying capacity (to create - together) is a quality exclusive to a genuine, compatible partnership, in romance or business, there’s no difference.

With that said, I tend to think, when observing difficult couples, that people have unconsciously chosen the wrong [business] partner (for love) in general. And face the consequences of their expectations (project-ions). They don’t want to see it as such: their initial judgement [of what the other offers] was actually poor sighted - from a lack mentality, hence naive.

Money doesn’t solve problems lol. The “problems’ created are inherent to the “relationship”, it’s internal behavior and dysfunction.

Relationships are work. Success is not due to having money, rather productivity. Basic economics

[/B]

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Very wise words there. 👍🏾 I agree for the most part. For me... money is more about Freedom than it is about Materialism.

I'll just add that Money indeed does *not* solve all of our problems. I never said it did. However, a severe lack of it inevitably creates issues. If a man has little to NO drive to work and/or provide a comfortable & secure home for the two of you - I'm sorry, but he does not "love" you. 🤷🏾‍♀️ A man who truly cares about you would not want you struggling to survive. He would not watch you work like a dog at your job, come home and care for the kids, beg you for pornstar sex... all while he sits on his a** eating chips on the couch like a slob! THIS is often the kind of result a woman is going to get when she *strictly* goes on emotion and/or insists on full independence during the early stages of dating. And no woman really likes that sh*t, if she's honest with herself.

*BTW - 75% of divorces are initiated by Women. A man does not need to be RICH! But he does need to have his affairs in order and be bringing something to the table. 👍🏾

Just like money - LOVE will not solve all of your problems either. It's wise to make sure that you are both sexually, mentally & financially compatible FIRST. And *then* you allow Love to blossom between the two of you. ❤ Things like this aren't just going to "work itself out" folks! That's an awful assumption that too many people make and that's why they're divorced.

posted September 23, 2021 08:09 AM            

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Originally posted by PlutoWasHere:
I live in the Netherlands. While not as extreme as in the Scandinavian countries, there is a lot of involvement from the government to enable mothers to keep working. Fathers are also stimulated to work part time and take care of their children. We have two sons and I worked 3 days a week and my ex worked 4 days a week until our youngest went to school. We only needed 2 days of childcare a week. This also helped them prepare for school. Most higher educated couples have this type of arrangement in our country. It’s kind of the norm here.

I must admit that it is a very busy lifestyle and it can be difficult to find time to interact as a couple. Usually grandparents are involved and help out, but unfortunately this wasn’t possible in our case. We already had difficulty showing our emotions ( I’m a Libra Rising with a H8 Taurus stellium and he has his Cancer Moon in H12 with my Mars conjunct :0) and having limited time available as a couple hasn’t helped. I will never fall into that trap again though. No sweeping feelings under the carpet anymore. I am learning to express my frustrations in a healthy way now.

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I understand. This sh*t is hard.

That's why I'm so passionate about this! Not because I'm trying to be an a**hole, but because I actually care about the well-being of women & children. 💜 Women should NOT have to do everything by themselves and children should not have to suffer for it.

I appreciate & respect strong, loving men who PROTECT their families. 💯 And financial security is part (not all) of that protection. That's all I'm saying.

posted September 23, 2021 08:28 AM            

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Originally posted by Eternal Energy:

Dear LovelyAries, I understand what you're saying. I know what you're saying. I'm not against you or your points of view. Really. These are things that I also talk with my friends. One friend says this, other friend says that, I say mine. In the end, we are all together loving and caring for each other. This is how I also see you.

To be honest, I am not smart. I have never been smart. I know how it is, I see it in other people, but I can't do it. All I know is that when you get old and you won't need to have a lot of money in your pocket or you won't ask for many, but just a plate of food, then you would want to look next to you and see your love, your man standing there, beside you. And you would want to take his loving hand in your hand and that is life. That is love.

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Thank you. I appreciate your kindness. 🙂

It's great that you want love! I want love. ❤ Love is a truly beautiful thing. It's not the ONLY thing that matters in a relationship, is all I'm getting at.

You ever seen 'The Notebook' movie?? Noah is the perfect example of a man who although he didn't come from money... he was determined to build the dream home of his woman's (Allie) dreams and provide her with a comfortable life. He was willing to make changes because he actually did LOVE HER. And she loved him. 💯 They peacefully passed away together in each other's arms for God's sake! 💜 So you can have both.

posted September 23, 2021 11:43 AM            

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Originally posted by Belage:
1. I don't see why wanting to be a sole provider and wanting to make sure your wife is well taken care of financially and pampered is wrong. There are many women who would love to find a man with your kind of provider mentality, trust me. It used to be the traditional position of many men, who prided themselves in providing well for their families.

I have seen plenty of arrangements like this work very well, but only when the money the men brought home was considered "our" money, not just the men's money. So it was not used as a control mechanism.

There are many women who would love to be in this kind of marriage so there will be plenty to choose from, use your discernment to pick the right spouse for you.

2. in terms of astrological placements, I would say a provider such as you may have supporting aspects from Jupiter, Venus, or Saturn to his moon. He might have planets like Saturn on the ascendant, so he takes his role in life very seriously. He might have Saturn in the 7th, positioned in such a way that it is making lovely aspects to some of his personal planets.

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As for my placements, I do I have Saturn Trine Moon. I don't have Saturn in the 7th house, but I do have Mars in the 7th house with Taurus as the sign for most of my 7th house. My Moon is in Capricorn. Does Mars in Taurus on 7H or Moon in Capricorn relate to this matter?

Since someone brought up a movie (The Notebook) and there seems to be a debate as to how strong and independent a provided for women is, I will add some thoughts:

1. I am a fan of the old series Sex and The City. Some of these women were "Alpha" in every sense and still like to be provided for. Rather than the provided for role making them a dormant, it actually worked well with their assertive natures. Witness the scene in the movie where Carrie takes a firm stance with Mr. Big that Mr. Big needs to give her the security of marriage if she is going to be building a home for them. Also, witness the scene in season3, where Charlotte firmly negotiates her pre-nup with her future mother in law.

2. I have seen 50/50 marriages in terms of money, female provider marriages, and male provider marriages. There was not necessarily any correlation between how Alpha or Beta a member of the couple was and their financial role. For instance, I have seen a male breadwinner marriage where the husband controlled the money and all decisions. I have seen a male breadwinner marriage that was very egalitarian in role aspects and decision makings. Finally, I have seen a male breadwinner marriage where the wife was clearly the strong one and decision maker.

posted September 23, 2021 03:12 PM            

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Originally posted by LovelyAries86:
I understand. This sh*t is hard.

That's why I'm so passionate about this! Not because I'm trying to be an a**hole, but because I actually care about the well-being of women & children. 💜 Women should NOT have to do everything by themselves and children should not have to suffer for it.

I appreciate & respect strong, loving men who PROTECT their families. 💯 And financial security is part (not all) of that protection. That's all I'm saying.

*BTW - Can you believe that the average woman in the US is working 8-10 hours a day, 5 days a week? And if she has KIDS on top of that? The women are worn thin here and are encouraged to keep going! It's sad. The Government feeds off of this. They make me sick.

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posted September 23, 2021 05:34 PM            

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Originally posted by teasel:
A gold digger is someone who is only with a man, for his money, period. It isn’t just women, either.

One thing that bugged me in the past, was people comparing dating to prostitution. Marriage, too. The two are not the same.

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Someone mentioned 'Sex And the City' and being provided for. NO ONE who has commented here is in favor of doormats. Samantha was my favorite - as I relate to her confidence & upfront nature. ❤

Charlotte was great! 👍🏾 Super classy & feminine. She had standards and stuck to them. She was a bit whiny at times - the only thing that annoyed me about her.

Carrie made some not so wise decisions with men! But she was awesome overall and I loved how things worked out with Mr. Big in the end. 💜 Mr. Big is my favorite male character on that show BY FAR.

posted September 27, 2021 01:37 PM            

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Originally posted by LovelyAries86:
Sure, I'm game to discuss placements.

I have...

-Taurus Venus 8H
-Cap Mars 3H
-Deep desire for security & pleasure ❤

-Cancer Moon 9H
-Desire for deep emotional AND intellectual bonding 💜

-Aries Sun 7H
-Desire for passion & partnership while still having the freedom to be myself. Balance is key! ⚘⚘

So as I stated earlier... Love AND Money are important. 💯 Statistics show this. I do not have to choose! And there's absolutely NOTHING wrong with any woman who wants both.

Why would I be with a man who claimed to "love me to death" yet had us starving for food? And why would I be with a man who often gave me money yet was mean to me and emotionally unavailable?

NO THANK YOU.

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Yes, your chart fits, especially with the Venus Taurus in 8th house of other people's money.

Aries sun women tend to be pretty good at looking out for themselves and not being doormats or used and abused in relationships.

Because that Aries sun is in the 7th house, you tend to prefer a masculine partner, a take charge partner, someone who is going to go out and make things happen for his family.

There is nothing wrong with wanting Love AND money!

posted September 27, 2021 01:39 PM            

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Originally posted by Loudcloud386:
So, do my chart positions mentioned above relate in any way to the role that money and support will play in my marriage to be?

Thanks

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Dear, we have not seen your chart.

But I believe you said you had Saturn trine moon, one of the possible aspects I had previously mentioned, which is a lovely aspect that could indicate Saturnian sense of responsibility and duty toward the female partner.

posted September 30, 2021 08:24 PM            

I care about your heart, you have to have a good heart even if you have a "tough" exterior or like dark humor and can seem cocky, I care about honesty and authenticity (feeling comfortable being yourself and knowing who you are), charm, brains. I like it if you are your own person and its cool if a guy can be humble and cocky at the same time. Someone in touch with their emotions and not afraid of them is hot too.

Sun in Virgo
VENUS conjunct MARS in LEO in the 8th
DC in GEMINI
Mercury in Virgo in the 9th
Juno in Taurus in the 4th house conjunct 5th cusp

I was the breadwinner for 5 years and I will say this, I don't mind making more money but its important we both earn a living and contribute to the bills ect....I dont want to ever depend on anyone financially but don't want someone to depend on my financially either. I want us to both be in a strong position. I will always be able to support myself and don't need to be rescued but just came back from a trip and my husband covered ALL the costs and it felt really nice to have someone take care of everything for once, I felt taken cared of fully and we all need that from time to time, is nice we are finally at that point were there is a balance of power between the two of us.

I should add my second house ruler is Uranus and Saturn:

Uranus conjuncts Jupiter and falls in the 12th
Saturn conjuncts Pluto and falls in the 10th

posted September 30, 2021 10:31 PM            

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Originally posted by Radium:
I like you hypatia. But that's some bs. Lol. Women don't give a damn about anyone but their own wellbeing. It's the female biological code. Girls will get a man killed.

My Venus is in Capricorn btw.
Aquarius moon.

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Exactly bc I care about my well being psychologically and physically I don't like to depend on others financially and take pride in that and being able to take care of myself. I take ownership of my body and myself.

posted September 30, 2021 10:36 PM            

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Originally posted by Eternal Energy:
Hi Belage, it's nice to see you around here...

Hi vansio! Happy to see you!

Dear LovelyAries, I understand what you're saying. I know what you're saying. I'm not against you or your points of view. Really. These are things that I also talk with my friends. One friend says this, other friend says that, I say mine. In the end, we are all together loving and caring for each other. This is how I also see you.

To be honest, I am not smart. I have never been smart. I know how it is, I see it in other people, but I can't do it. All I know is that when you get old and you won't need to have a lot of money in your pocket or you won't ask for many, but just a plate of food, then you would want to look next to you and see your love, your man standing there, beside you. And you would want to take his loving hand in your hand and that is life. That is love.

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posted September 30, 2021 11:10 PM            

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Originally posted by PlutoWasHere:
I think it's smarter to be able to provide your own financial security. You really don't want to be dependent on someone who might not be as charming as you thought they were.

The 2nd house is the house of value and money (Taurus) while the 8th house is the house of shared resources (Scorpio). I have my nnode in H2 and feel financial independence is very important to me. So maybe someone with nnode in H8 will want someone to provide for them.

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posted October 01, 2021 07:13 AM            

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
My second house ruler Uranus conjuncts My 1st house ruler Jupiter and I feel just like you. My 1st house ruler is also my southnode ruler.

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posted October 01, 2021 07:24 AM            

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Originally posted by Radium:
I like you hypatia. But that's some bs. Lol. Women don't give a damn about anyone but their own wellbeing. It's the female biological code. Girls will get a man killed.

My Venus is in Capricorn btw.
Aquarius moon.

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posted October 01, 2021 11:51 AM            

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Originally posted by Radium:
Feel bad for a broke man. Or god forbid a guy be down on his luck financially.

Cause apparently if you don't make enough money, you don't love your girl Women suck. But that's just how it is.

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posted October 01, 2021 12:45 PM            

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Originally posted by Radium:
Women have treated me like a dog and completely hurt me. It's not that I don't like women, but I definitely don't trust them. They only think with their Moon sign.. lol.

I'm happy being single. Tbh girls don't deserve a guy like me, they can't see past their own self deflections. This didn't just happen. I am a coach in the dating game. Not a player. I'll let my other fellow men get crushed by females. I really don't give any fks.

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