Author
|
Topic: Astrology of male loneliness epidemic among millennials and Gen Zers
|
aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 12470 From: Uranus Registered: Jan 2012
|
posted April 25, 2022 12:40 PM
quote: Originally posted by Dumuzi: 🤣 right away i noticed you have his moon also opposite pluto (different degree though) i would actually blame pluto and saturn on your issues and the mercury conjunct neptune/uranus as some of the perception issues but yeah to me this is largely your pluto also i've never seen you, but with venus conjunct the ascendant there's generally something positive there (however the pluto square is probably harshing that up) and it's possible to a degree you blame appearance when that's not the case
In my opinion, I'm not great looking. I have seen women go crazy over a guy's looks and they have never done that with me. For me, my Venus conjunction comes out in my style and my scent. The only things women have given me consistent positive feedback on over the years are some aspects of my style and how good I smell. Patchouli-based scents are really flattering on me and women respond really well when they are in close proximity to me. And here lately I have switched to mainly wearing straight up patchouli oil mixed with a tiny amount of my favorite patchouli cologne and that has really increased the amount of positive feedback I get. It's also polarizing so some women hate it, but it seems like more women like it than don't. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 12470 From: Uranus Registered: Jan 2012
|
posted April 25, 2022 12:40 PM
.IP: Logged |
Dumuzi Knowflake Posts: 3936 From: Registered: Oct 2018
|
posted April 25, 2022 12:41 PM
btw aquaguy your mercury conjunctions really make you hard to talk to i think especially coupled with the moon/venus/pluto issues i've noticed a lot mercury conjunct neptune people aren't super grounded in reality and there's never any making them aware of it either it becomes like talking to a wall (my mother has this and lives in some altered parallel reality that's resulted in my brothers and i always confirming reality for each other against her words) IP: Logged |
aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 12470 From: Uranus Registered: Jan 2012
|
posted April 25, 2022 12:46 PM
Why do you think those aspects make me hard to talk to and what is the solution to that problem from your perspective?IP: Logged |
Dumuzi Knowflake Posts: 3936 From: Registered: Oct 2018
|
posted April 25, 2022 12:48 PM
quote: Originally posted by aquaguy91: In my opinion, I'm not great looking. I have seen women go crazy over a guy's looks and they have never done that with me. For me, my Venus conjunction comes out in my style and my scent. The only things women have given me consistent positive feedback on over the years are some aspects of my style and how good I smell. Patchouli-based scents are really flattering on me and women respond really well when they are in close proximity to me. And here lately I have switched to mainly wearing straight up patchouli oil mixed with a tiny amount of my favorite patchouli cologne and that has really increased the amount of positive feedback I get. It's also polarizing so some women hate it, but it seems like more women like it than don't.
self perception can be colored by things like trauma and stuff like that, i've noticed that in my own life what i see when i look at myself isn't reflective of the things i've heard others tell me also i've noticed a lot of guys have worse perceptions of themselves than what's really there and i think that's due to gender differences like if i'm not close to a guy i feel very uncomfortable saying i find them attractive. it's almost ingrained in women to kind of not give out those kinds of compliments so a lot of guys go a lot of their lives not being complimented and things just as a matter of how society can work and it gives them this idea of themselves that isn't necessarily in line with the reality of who they are not to mention most women wont approach a guy first (myself included) i mean you might actually be unattractive idk for sure youre not but i think it's more likely something in your vibe that does it (and pluto creating that sort of polarizing effect) but even if you werent attractive i've known women who LIKE unattractive guys and dislike attractive ones not a fan of patchouli myself really lol it's a bit much, prefer sandalwood IP: Logged |
PlutoWasHere Knowflake Posts: 470 From: The Nether World Registered: Mar 2021
|
posted April 25, 2022 12:51 PM
quote: Originally posted by aquaguy91: On a positive note, I felt like my dating life was on a positive upward trend from 2018 through 2019. The pandemic and my mom's death derailed a lot of my progress. In a lot of ways it feels like I'm back at square one.
Uranus moved into Taurus in 2018 and is currently at 14Taurus. Earlier, around 2 years ago, it squared your Sun. And it's about to transit your Moon. Transit Saturn in Aquarius has impacted your chart simultaneously. Conjunct your Sun around 2 years ago and earlier this year it squared your Moon. Your Moon is a very sensitive spot in your chart because it's part of your t-square with Pluto and Venus. IP: Logged |
Dumuzi Knowflake Posts: 3936 From: Registered: Oct 2018
|
posted April 25, 2022 12:57 PM
quote: Originally posted by aquaguy91: Why do you think those aspects make me hard to talk to and what is the solution to that problem from your perspective?
because neptune in conjunction with mercury can create situations where a person's perception of reality is off and they believe the perception and not anything outside of that which makes it difficult to get them to understand other points of view or situations there can be a level of dishonesty but it's in a way where they're also dishonest with themselves and misrepresent the uranus can add to this by creating someone who's a bit erratic as well you more than other people have to learn to let go of some of your judgments and feelings (which will be hard with your pluto aspects) to try to see the other people like i've talked to you a fair bit i'd say over the years, but it's like i said i don't feel as if you actually see me as who i am on any level it's like reintroducing yourself to someone with dementia every time you see them almost, i feel like i always have to say "but i'm not who you're describing" "but that's not what i said" etc and so on you have to be willing to suspend kneejerk reactions and initial thoughts to a degree you also need someone with patience because you're very difficult lol and i don't say that with any animosity because i don't dislike you there are things about you i find grating and frustrating (and that's fine i got flaws too) but i don't know you to dislike you IP: Logged |
aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 12470 From: Uranus Registered: Jan 2012
|
posted April 25, 2022 01:04 PM
Yeah, it's just me who's difficult. Women treat me like crap for just existing. I can't even get in an elevator or walk around without getting microaggressions from women. But I'm the difficult one. I'm the one who has had to quietly take a life of isolation. But I go to a weekly dialogues group and they say I'm privileged because I'm a man. IP: Logged |
PlutoWasHere Knowflake Posts: 470 From: The Nether World Registered: Mar 2021
|
posted April 25, 2022 01:06 PM
quote: Originally posted by aquaguy91: In my opinion, I'm not great looking. I have seen women go crazy over a guy's looks and they have never done that with me...
In my own experience, looks really are not that important. The connection is the thing I look out for. You want to feel like someone understands and appreciates you. I would rather be with someone I can laugh with than someone that is just nice to look at. Dating is scary for women. It makes them really vulnerable and there are plenty of women that have to deal with violence while out on a date. I don't know, but maybe they just need to know you a bit better before they feel comfortable around you? IP: Logged |
aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 12470 From: Uranus Registered: Jan 2012
|
posted April 25, 2022 01:15 PM
quote: Originally posted by PlutoWasHere: In my own experience, looks really are not that important. The connection is the thing I look out for. You want to feel like someone understands and appreciates you. I would rather be with someone I can laugh with than someone that is just nice to look at.Dating is scary for women. It makes them really vulnerable and there are plenty of women that have to deal with violence while out on a date. I don't know, but maybe they just need to know you a bit better before they feel comfortable around you?
I have had female friends I knew for months instantly go crazy over my good looking friends based on looks alone. No offense, but I don't think women are even self aware of how important looks are to them. It's so clear to me that looks are everything to women when I watch them. You'll never see a thin attractive woman with a fat or ugly guy for example. Why is that? I never see that. If looks didn't matter to women we should see more of those couples. But those types of couples are almost nonexistent They are so rare as to be noteworthy when we do see them. Those are unicorn circumstances that don't happen for guys with Saturn conjunct their descendant ruler. IP: Logged |
Dumuzi Knowflake Posts: 3936 From: Registered: Oct 2018
|
posted April 25, 2022 01:43 PM
quote: Originally posted by aquaguy91: Yeah, it's just me who's difficult. Women treat me like crap for just existing. I can't even get in an elevator or walk around without getting microaggressions from women. But I'm the difficult one. I'm the one who has had to quietly take a life of isolation. But I go to a weekly dialogues group and they say I'm privileged because I'm a man.
yeah you're difficult, partially you don't listen and partially because you ask questions and when you get answers you change the subject you're gaslighting right now you know you asked me about you and your chart and i'm explaining something (about an aspect you have unrelated to just interactions but also about how i find you personally based on this aspect) and you've chosen to take that, twist it, and make it about something else i don't believe in the whole male privilege thing, at all actually, and i certainly haven't mentioned it but you're throwing it in my face right now as if i have you want to talk about "microaggressions" well gaslighting is outright aggressive and it's what you do a lot and it's not ok i am not one of these women you're talking about and i'm not the sort who even believes women are disadvantaged in society etc but you're going off about things like that because i said i find you difficult also i said i find people with mercury conjunct neptune difficult in general and told you why because you asked last i checked other people have it (my mother included like i mentioned did you miss that?) and it's not JUST you what you've said here is part of the problem that i have with communicating with you you gaslight, you don't listen, you respond to things that aren't said, your responses ignore what's said to you IP: Logged |
PlutoWasHere Knowflake Posts: 470 From: The Nether World Registered: Mar 2021
|
posted April 25, 2022 01:44 PM
quote: Originally posted by aquaguy91: ...You'll never see a thin attractive woman with a fat or ugly guy for example. Why is that? I never see that...
My ex husband is 5'3 and I'm 5'8. He was never fat but always chubbier than me. I also have a higher education and I have a better paying job. None of it was a big deal to me. He was funny, kind and I could see him as the father of my children. Could it be that your so fixated on looks that you only see women with attractive men? It's a common thing to experience. Our brain is funny that way. IP: Logged |
Dumuzi Knowflake Posts: 3936 From: Registered: Oct 2018
|
posted April 25, 2022 01:54 PM
quote: Originally posted by aquaguy91: I have had female friends I knew for months instantly go crazy over my good looking friends based on looks alone. No offense, but I don't think women are even self aware of how important looks are to them. It's so clear to me that looks are everything to women when I watch them. You'll never see a thin attractive woman with a fat or ugly guy for example. Why is that? I never see that. If looks didn't matter to women we should see more of those couples. But those types of couples are almost nonexistent They are so rare as to be noteworthy when we do see them. Those are unicorn circumstances that don't happen for guys with Saturn conjunct their descendant ruler.
i have seen that actually, as a matter of fact i've had friends who did modeling and stuff who dated guys who were fat and unattractive so idk what you're looking at looks are important to me, but the looks i find attractive are not in line with what you think women find attractive and i've never gone crazy over anyone just based on their looks because that's ******* stupid and disregards a lot of other things about s person i think "dad bods" are cute 🤷♀️ and i'm not overweight or unattractive (again i'm judging my attractiveness based on other people) so yeah man... this all you inserting your view of reality as factual and ignoring everything you're told everything i can see that's wrong here as far as you go stems from your personality to me you seem like you'd be abusive the gaslighting, putting your problems on a pedestal, the anger, the inability to see other people as they are as individuals (at no point have i felt like you could describe me to another person and they'd know who you meant), minimizing other people's issues and struggles... i could keep going you seem very abusive, that's the problem ultimately and maybe people who would overlook red flags because of appearances won't ignore those when it comes to you but it's certainly not all your appearance IP: Logged |
aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 12470 From: Uranus Registered: Jan 2012
|
posted April 25, 2022 02:14 PM
quote: Originally posted by Dumuzi: i have seen that actually, as a matter of fact i've had friends who did modeling and stuff who dated guys who were fat and unattractive so idk what you're looking at looks are important to me, but the looks i find attractive are not in line with what you think women find attractive and i've never gone crazy over anyone just based on their looks because that's ******* stupid and disregards a lot of other things about s person i think "dad bods" are cute 🤷♀️ and i'm not overweight or unattractive (again i'm judging my attractiveness based on other people) so yeah man... this all you inserting your view of reality as factual and ignoring everything you're told everything i can see that's wrong here as far as you go stems from your personality to me you seem like you'd be abusive the gaslighting, putting your problems on a pedestal, the anger, the inability to see other people as they are as individuals (at no point have i felt like you could describe me to another person and they'd know who you meant), minimizing other people's issues and struggles... i could keep going you seem very abusive, that's the problem ultimately and maybe people who would overlook red flags because of appearances won't ignore those when it comes to you but it's certainly not all your appearance
Abusive? How? I'm so respectful of women that I respect their wishes to be left alone and leave them alone. I know I'm plutonian and creepy and ugly. I don't speak to women unless spoken to anymore. I know my place. But it is bitter and it does suck and I'm going to complain about it because I have Moon in the third house.
IP: Logged |
aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 12470 From: Uranus Registered: Jan 2012
|
posted April 25, 2022 02:18 PM
Also, both of you misrepresented what I said. I said women dating ugly or fat guys is rare enough to be noteworthy. I didn't say it never happens. The fact that it rarely happens seems to indicate that looks do matter to women to a considerable degree. Nothing about what I said is disrespectful or invalidating towards anything you said. IP: Logged |
Dumuzi Knowflake Posts: 3936 From: Registered: Oct 2018
|
posted April 25, 2022 02:24 PM
quote: Originally posted by aquaguy91: Abusive? How? I'm so respectful of women that I respect their wishes to be left alone and leave them alone. I know I'm plutonian and creepy and ugly. I don't speak to women unless spoken to anymore. I know my place. But it is bitter and it does suck and I'm going to complain about it because I have Moon in the third house.
i gave you some examples, did you read them at all? doesn't seem like it the gaslighting for one is a huge red flag and outright abuse and manipulation, and it's also something i've called you on in multiple posts now you haven't addressed that i've said it though, instead you make me repeat myself as if you can't fathom where i could be coming from and i haven't said in reality i've said things very clearly and multiple times, if you were to read what i've said you would see that this is beyond venting, and the fact that you're making it sound like venting was the issue here (i didn't what i said was you have a tendency to put your problems on a pedestal and minimize other people's and that you also don't listen to other people instead substituting a strawman for any individual you interact with) is more gaslighting you outright show emotionally abusive tendencies and you do so constantly alongside angry outbursts you dont see the other person, you don't treat anyone like theyre who theyre telling you they are when people tell you how they are you literally outright respond with "you must be unaware of yourself because women are actually all like x" so more gaslighting you're clearly emotionally abusive towards others IP: Logged |
aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 12470 From: Uranus Registered: Jan 2012
|
posted April 25, 2022 02:33 PM
And you misrepresent me and put words in my mouth. IP: Logged |
Dumuzi Knowflake Posts: 3936 From: Registered: Oct 2018
|
posted April 25, 2022 02:33 PM
quote: Originally posted by aquaguy91: Also, both of you misrepresented what I said. I said women dating ugly or fat guys is rare enough to be noteworthy. I didn't say it never happens. The fact that it rarely happens seems to indicate that looks do matter to women to a considerable degree. Nothing about what I said is disrespectful or invalidating towards anything you said.
you used the word "never" an absolute term so we responded to that if you refrained from using that sort of language your points would probably be taken in a different way "you'll never see" invites people to go "nah man not true" and also it isnt all that rare to me you come off like you pay a good deal of attention to men who you deem as being better than you and miss the countless guys who arent that who find people also i've given multiple examples not related to that one individual post, including the fact that i have on more than one occasion told you very personal things during discussions and yet guaranteed you're unaware of any of them you don't make people feel seen or heard and that's not just me either i see a lot of people struggle to get you to listen to them and give weight to what they've said IP: Logged |
Dumuzi Knowflake Posts: 3936 From: Registered: Oct 2018
|
posted April 25, 2022 02:33 PM
quote: Originally posted by aquaguy91: And you misrepresent me and put words in my mouth.
where? IP: Logged |
Dumuzi Knowflake Posts: 3936 From: Registered: Oct 2018
|
posted April 25, 2022 02:37 PM
by all means i'm open to you showing me where i've been mistaken herei've been stressed and tired etc so it's certainly possible though i don't feel that i have that being said this is something i've thought about you in the past as well IP: Logged |
aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 12470 From: Uranus Registered: Jan 2012
|
posted April 25, 2022 02:40 PM
I don't ignore other guys who get women. Let me clear up a few things. I know a lot of ugly guys with women. But that doesn't mean women who are with those guys are attracted to them and enjoy having sex with them. I know a lot of guys in sexless relationships. I personally know a guy who didn't even get sex on his honeymoon. That's a big no for me. When I say women aren't interested in me I'm talking in those terms. I'm sexual. I need that connection. Women only want to cuck me and tease me. The moment I express any male sexuality I get shamed. I'm supposed to be an asexual good little boy. IP: Logged |
Dumuzi Knowflake Posts: 3936 From: Registered: Oct 2018
|
posted April 25, 2022 02:51 PM
quote: Originally posted by aquaguy91: I don't ignore other guys who get women. Let me clear up a few things. I know a lot of ugly guys with women. But that doesn't mean women who are with those guys are attracted to them and enjoy having sex with them. I know a lot of guys in sexless relationships. I personally know a guy who didn't even get srx on his honeymoon
what exactly is ugly to you anyway? also sexless relationships are due to many factors not just physical attraction personally i've been with 3 people (2 guys 1 woman) who i wasnt at all physically attracted to and that didnt affect having sex because why would it? i had sex with them and with people ive been attracted to as well no change in frequency you make a lot of assumptions based on things that seem to be fixations for you IP: Logged |
Dumuzi Knowflake Posts: 3936 From: Registered: Oct 2018
|
posted April 25, 2022 03:02 PM
also the sexuality stuff i didn't bring into the equation at allsaying someone seems emotionally abusive has nothing to do with sexuality, you're bouncing around with topics again i really wonder if harsh mercury/neptunes (also see this with harsh moon/neptune) are aware of the gaslighting tendencies or if it's all unconscious IP: Logged |
aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 12470 From: Uranus Registered: Jan 2012
|
posted April 25, 2022 03:08 PM
quote: Originally posted by Dumuzi: by all means i'm open to you showing me where i've been mistaken herei've been stressed and tired etc so it's certainly possible though i don't feel that i have that being said this is something i've thought about you in the past as well
I'm referring to the fact that you basically portrayed me as an insensitive dickwad who never listens because I don't think it's common for women to date unattractive guys, and furthermore I really mean it's rare for them to genuinely love those guys and adore them as much as they would good looking high status guys. Like I said, I know a lot of cucks in sexless relationships. I know it because the guys tell me about it. And the ones that are able to cheat usually do. I knew one older guy who tried to stay faithful but gave up and started cheating after a year or so of being denied sex by his wife. Here's a good example of the level of conversation we are having. I am anywhere between 6'1.5 and 6'2.5 barefoot depending on when and where I'm measured. I'm most attracted to tall women 5'8 or taller, but I notice that most of the women I like date guys taller than me. That's just what I see in real life. And research backs me up. Studies have shown that women generally prefer guys to be at least 6 inches taller than them. That's why tall women ignore me for guys who are 6'4 or 6'5. That's just the trend. You would say you know so and so and she dates a guy her height or shorter. Another poster said she was taller than her partner. You do see those unicorn couples but it's rare. The trend is for women to be attracted to and date much taller guys. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 12470 From: Uranus Registered: Jan 2012
|
posted April 25, 2022 03:16 PM
quote: Originally posted by Dumuzi: also the sexuality stuff i didn't bring into the equation at allsaying someone seems emotionally abusive has nothing to do with sexuality, you're bouncing around with topics again i really wonder if harsh mercury/neptunes (also see this with harsh moon/neptune) are aware of the gaslighting tendencies or if it's all unconscious
Sexuality and relationships go hand and hand for most men. That has nothing to do with Mercury conjunct Neptune or abuse or gaslighting or whatever. My feeling rejected and repulsive aren't warped perceptions either. Whenever I'm myself and express my desires I get shamed by women. That's just a fact. And I have worked really hard to adjust and try to find ways to express myself better, but it hasn't worked yet. IP: Logged |