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Author Topic:   Astrology of male loneliness epidemic among millennials and Gen Zers
Dumuzi
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posted April 25, 2022 03:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dumuzi     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:

I'm referring to the fact that you basically portrayed me as an insensitive dickwad who never listens because I don't think it's common for women to date unattractive guys, and furthermore I really mean it's rare for them to genuinely love those guys and adore them as much as they would good looking high status guys. Like I said, I know a lot of cucks in sexless relationships. I know it because the guys tell me about it. And the ones that are able to cheat usually do. I knew one older guy who tried to stay faithful but gave up and started cheating after a year or so of being denied sex by his wife.

Here's a good example of the level of conversation we are having. I am anywhere between 6'1.5 and 6'2.5 barefoot depending on when and where I'm measured. I'm most attracted to tall women 5'8 or taller, but I notice that most of the women I like date guys taller than me. That's just what I see in real life. And research backs me up. Studies have shown that women generally prefer guys to be at least 6 inches taller than them. That's why tall women ignore me for guys who are 6'4 or 6'5. That's just the trend. You would say you know so and so and she dates a guy her height or shorter. Another poster said she was taller than her partner. You do see those unicorn couples but it's rare. The trend is for women to be attracted to and date much taller guys.

Back between 2017 and 2018 I had a female friend I hung out with and she was 5'11.5. She invited me over to her house on many occasions. She liked to tease me about how I was short. I would laugh and say "short?" I was puzzled because I was roughly 2 inches taller than her. She said "Yeah, but I'm your height in my shortest heels and I'm taller in most." That made sense to me because she was always in heels so in her eyes I wasn't tall. haha


you opened up with gaslighting, that's not at all why i've said you don't listen not even close

i said you don't listen because when i tell you something you disregard what i've said and because i'd be willing to bet you can't remember a single personal thing i've told you about myself elsewhere because you have yet to treat me like someone you've spoken to on multiple occasions and an individual

so to equate it to your views on women and unattractive men is an outright lie because i've never said that was the case

you literally did the thing i said was an issue to open this discussion, straight up gaslighting from the very beginning

i haven't even read the rest of your post yet to respond (i will) but i'm going to call you on that immediately because it's 100% bs

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Dumuzi
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posted April 25, 2022 03:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dumuzi     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
alright read the rest and it completely ignores everything i said about the issues i see in your behavior and continues to focus on unrelated things

where have i misrepresented you when i said you were gaslighting me and as a result come across like you're probably emotionally abusive? how is telling me about height preferences relevant to that?

height preferences some women have (even if it's the gen pop) have nothing to do with what you accused me of or what i said

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Dumuzi
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posted April 25, 2022 03:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dumuzi     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Sexuality and relationships go hand and hand for most men. That has nothing to do with Mercury conjunct Neptune or abuse or gaslighting or whatever. My feeling rejected and repulsive aren't warped perceptions either. Whenever I'm myself and express my desires I get shamed by women. That's just a fact. And I have worked really hard to adjust and try to find ways to express myself better, but it hasn't worked yet.

i was commenting on your chart and telling you which aspects i thought were creating your issues, both with women and with communication (because i said i found speaking with you difficult)

so yeah of course sexuality has nothing to do with it lol, because it's not what i was talking about... it's an unrelated to the subject thing you brought up that you're now attributing to me (in a "no it's you who's changing the subject" fashion, even though you're the one who keeps altering the direction of of the conversation back to the places i've moved away from to suit your needs)

you started off your other comment with gaslighting and with letting me know you aren't reading or understanding me


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aquaguy91
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posted April 25, 2022 03:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I can remember lots of things you have said about yourself. Again, you mispresent me. I remember that you said that you recognize that guys don't get much validation. I remember that specifically because you have said it multiple times. It made an impression on me because at least you could see that. I also remember you saying that you never approach guys. I can respect that. I just wish you had more compassion for guys who don't get validation and have to do the approaching in today's cut throat and hostile dating culture. Frankly, it feels somewhat politically incorrect to even be a straight man in America today if you aren't high status or good looking enough. How does a guy even go about expressing interest in a woman anymore? Everything is creepy and offensive to women these days. It didn't used to be like that. How could I possibly interact with a woman today and be remotely authentic? They strut around in those provocative yoga pants, but I'm not allowed to acknowledge how wild that drives me on any level. My desires are wrong. I'm wrong. That's the message this culture gives me over and over. Yet they provoke my desires daily. And you wonder why I'm somewhat nutty lol. And you want to blame it on my Capricorn stellium. Maybe that is part of my problem. Capricorn could point to isolation I guess. But keep all that in mind. I'm very lonely and it looks like that is going to be my life. I pretty much gave up. Needless to say, I don't engage in the simp behavior you described in earlier posts. I have slowly phased that out of my personality little by little over the past decade and now that side of me is basically gone.

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aquaguy91
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posted April 25, 2022 03:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
For example,
even today I'll have women tell me I smell good or give me some other ambiguous comment that could mean they are interested in me or just giving a comment to be nice. I hate that kind of ambiguity because it confuses me and makes me vulnerable. If I act on that and get shot down, suddenly I'm in the wrong and the woman sees me as a creep or however she sees me, but it's almost always negative.

Any way, I sometimes have women who are very attractive compliment my smell or something else, but I don't try to explore things because I have been burned too many times before. I just can't be bothered to stick my neck out for ambiguity anymore, especially when it seems like guys aren't allowed to misread situations and make mistakes anymore.

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Dumuzi
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posted April 25, 2022 05:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dumuzi     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I can remember lots of things you have said about yourself. Again, you mispresent me. I remember that you said that you recognize that guys don't get much validation. I remember that specifically because you have said it multiple times. It made an impression on me because at least you could see that. I also remember you saying that you never approach guys. I can respect that. I just wish you had more compassion for guys who don't get validation and have to do the approaching in today's cut throat and hostile dating culture. Frankly, it feels somewhat politically incorrect to even be a straight man in America today if you aren't high status or good looking enough. How does a guy even go about expressing interest in a woman anymore? Everything is creepy and offensive to women these days. It didn't used to be like that. How could I possibly interact with a woman today and be remotely authentic? They strut around in those provocative yoga pants, but I'm not allowed to acknowledge how wild that drives me on any level. My desires are wrong. I'm wrong. That's the message this culture gives me over and over. Yet they provoke my desires daily. And you wonder why I'm somewhat nutty lol. And you want to blame it on my Capricorn stellium. Maybe that is part of my problem. Capricorn could point to isolation I guess. But keep all that in mind. I'm very lonely and it looks like that is going to be my life. I pretty much gave up. Needless to say, I don't engage in the simp behavior you described in earlier posts. I have slowly phased that out of my personality little by little over the past decade and now that side of me is basically gone.

that was from this conversation i was talking about personal things from past ones because you did a bit of the "bad life olympics" thing earlier, among other things

where am i lacking compassion for guys exactly? i'm fine with someone complimenting my appearance and i don't feel at all bothered by things of that nature in the slightest

i'm not going to get annoyed with a guy for calling me pretty or even if it's something like nice ass or something i don't care

so it's not like i'm that sort of woman who is going to be annoyed by something like that

where i said i have the issue is when someone is rushing into this heavy serious **** before they even know a god damn thing about me based solely on the fact that they find me attractive

for a lot of reasons, one of them being like my looks are not going to make my personality and issues everyone's cup of tea, so if you don't know that **** about me well and vice versa that's just not going to work

but also because it makes it seem like it doesn't really matter to them who i am i could be anyone they just want someone

so it's a lot of things, but that's not a lack of compassion to not like that it's not like i'm a ***** to anyone

when i turn someone down i'm really nice about it and will usually still be friendly

you're talking about certain types of women that i find unrelatable and saying that's just women these days so it's hard for me to engage in that conversation

i've never said any of this sort of thing

all i said was i don't want to marry someone and move in with them just because they think i'm pretty essentially, and i don't want to accept gifts and things for that reason either

i think the capricorn stellium can make things difficult socially just like saturn on your sun can

but this is feeling like a parallel conversation rather than a direct one and i'm not sure how to engage with you in that way

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Dumuzi
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posted April 25, 2022 05:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dumuzi     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
For example,
even today I'll have women tell me I smell good or give me some other ambiguous comment that could mean they are interested in me or just giving a comment to be nice. I hate that kind of ambiguity because it confuses me and makes me vulnerable. If I act on that and get shot down, suddenly I'm in the wrong and the woman sees me as a creep or however she sees me, but it's almost always negative.

Any way, I sometimes have women who are very attractive compliment my smell or something else, but I don't try to explore things because I have been burned too many times before. I just can't be bothered to stick my neck out for ambiguity anymore, especially when it seems like guys aren't allowed to misread situations and make mistakes anymore.


i mean if i think something smells nice and i say it that doesn't mean i'm attracted to the person wearing it or it's like a thing, it's a reaction to the smell

like if i say "i like your jacket" i'm likely just genuinely talking about the jacket and not the person in it or even how the jacket looks on them

and like if someone told me i smelt good (which i've had coworkers do including a guy who had a gf who leaned over and smelt me to say it once lol) i would just think "oh they like the oils i'm wearing" and it wouldn't even register to me as like anything about me as a person or about attraction etc

granted i can be at an extreme end of things where painfully obvious **** just doesn't register

actually the guy i have a thing with and i have laughed about it, because before it clicked that he was telling me he was in love with me i was completely unaware even though he said and did so many obvious things

granted he did the same back and i'm not sure how we even managed to get past that phase because damn... it's that we were friends for so long first that i didn't realize his "i love you"s had so much weight and he didn't realize mine did too

so it was a funny mutual feelings there but we were both dumb kind of thing, and not just with him

my ex chased after for 4 years before i caught on and realized it wasn't just friendly jokes and stuff

but yeah a comment like that to me wouldn't mean anything and it'd be 100% innocent whether i said it or it was said to me

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aquaguy91
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posted April 25, 2022 06:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Dumuzi:
i mean if i think something smells nice and i say it that doesn't mean i'm attracted to the person wearing it or it's like a thing, it's a reaction to the smell

like if i say "i like your jacket" i'm likely just genuinely talking about the jacket and not the person in it or even how the jacket looks on them

and like if someone told me i smelt good (which i've had coworkers do including a guy who had a gf who leaned over and smelt me to say it once lol) i would just think "oh they like the oils i'm wearing" and it wouldn't even register to me as like anything about me as a person or about attraction etc

granted i can be at an extreme end of things where painfully obvious **** just doesn't register

actually the guy i have a thing with and i have laughed about it, because before it clicked that he was telling me he was in love with me i was completely unaware even though he said and did so many obvious things

granted he did the same back and i'm not sure how we even managed to get past that phase because damn... it's that we were friends for so long first that i didn't realize his "i love you"s had so much weight and he didn't realize mine did too

so it was a funny mutual feelings there but we were both dumb kind of thing, and not just with him

my ex chased after for 4 years before i caught on and realized it wasn't just friendly jokes and stuff

but yeah a comment like that to me wouldn't mean anything and it'd be 100% innocent whether i said it or it was said to me



To me, that compliment feels intimate. I know that most women would universally feel creeped out if a guy who didn't match their attractiveness standards told them they smelled good. I certainly don't feel like I could give that compliment without a woman reacting badly and making me feel bad about myself.

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aquaguy91
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posted April 25, 2022 06:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Dumuzi:
that was from this conversation i was talking about personal things from past ones because you did a bit of the "bad life olympics" thing earlier, among other things

where am i lacking compassion for guys exactly? i'm fine with someone complimenting my appearance and i don't feel at all bothered by things of that nature in the slightest

i'm not going to get annoyed with a guy for calling me pretty or even if it's something like nice ass or something i don't care

so it's not like i'm that sort of woman who is going to be annoyed by something like that

where i said i have the issue is when someone is rushing into this heavy serious **** before they even know a god damn thing about me based solely on the fact that they find me attractive

for a lot of reasons, one of them being like my looks are not going to make my personality and issues everyone's cup of tea, so if you don't know that **** about me well and vice versa that's just not going to work

but also because it makes it seem like it doesn't really matter to them who i am i could be anyone they just want someone

so it's a lot of things, but that's not a lack of compassion to not like that it's not like i'm a ***** to anyone

when i turn someone down i'm really nice about it and will usually still be friendly

you're talking about certain types of women that i find unrelatable and saying that's just women these days so it's hard for me to engage in that conversation

i've never said any of this sort of thing

all i said was i don't want to marry someone and move in with them just because they think i'm pretty essentially, and i don't want to accept gifts and things for that reason either

i think the capricorn stellium can make things difficult socially just like saturn on your sun can

but this is feeling like a parallel conversation rather than a direct one and i'm not sure how to engage with you in that way


You take things too personally. For example, every single time I have expressed interest or asked a woman out they have acted weird or standoffish to me from that moment on. That doesn't mean they were bad people. But they were mean to me and hurt my feelings bad. Both of those things can be true at the same time.

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Dumuzi
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posted April 25, 2022 06:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dumuzi     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:

To me, that compliment feels intimate. I know that most women would universally feel creeped out if a guy who didn't match their attractiveness standards told them they smelled good. I certainly don't feel like I could give that compliment without a woman reacting badly and making me feel bad about myself.

it isn't intimate at all to me, it's just a smell not part of a person, something that's applied that anyone can put on and it comes off

it doesn't register as intimate on any level to say that, and that's not "lack of intent" it's just that the intent is purely innocent and nonsexual

i smell something nice say "that smells good" and i'm done

i've had guys who werent attractive to me say things like that and i just say thanks and tell them what it is 🤷‍♀️ because it's not even the kind of compliment i see as personal

like if someone likes anything i'm wearing or something i don't think of it as part of me so it doesnt make me think that they could even mean they like me

it would literally never occur to me to take that as personal or intimate so why would i care who said it?

and a guy being unattractive doesnt mean he's creepy, just like a guy can be totally normal looking and be creepy as all hell

one of the creepiest guys i've ever encountered was very normal looking, but he also followed me for a block and a half begging me to let him but me a drink even though i politely declined several times (i was high, i was in pajamas, it was the middle of the night and i just wanted to get a notebook and go home and write) so creepy is about mannerisms not looks

the coworker wasnt my type at all but i didnt care that he sniffed me (leaned close to do it) and said i smelt nice

we were totally cool with each other so why would i care?

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aquaguy91
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posted April 25, 2022 06:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You are so condescending. I'm sorry that my biology prompts me to hope beyond hope that a woman could be attracted to me. If you dislike me (like every other woman) stop responding to me. You seem to want to argue with me.

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Dumuzi
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posted April 25, 2022 06:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dumuzi     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
You take things too personally. For example, every single time I have expressed interest or asked a woman out they have acted weird or standoffish to me from that moment on. That doesn't mean they were bad people. But they were mean to me and hurt my feelings bad. Both of those things can be true at the same time.

you told me that i lacked compassion, so of course i took that personally, you said "you" as in me so i'm going to correct that

if you made a blanket statement that was clearly not about me i wouldn't take it personally

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Dumuzi
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posted April 25, 2022 06:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dumuzi     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
You are so condescending. I'm sorry that my biology prompts me to hope beyond hope that a woman could be attracted to me. If you dislike me (like every other woman) stop responding to me. You seem to want to argue with me.

what did i say that was condescending? i was just explaining how i personally would take/mean that and explaining behavior i find creepy

i told you already i don't know you to dislike you, and i'm just having a conversation

what did i say there that was argumentative? i didn't tell you that those women didnt mean it like that (idk how they meant it, if you think that's intimate other people probably do) i just explained how i'd see/mean it

i didn't tell you that it wasn't intimate full stop either because that's how you see it 🤷‍♀️

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aquaguy91
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posted April 25, 2022 06:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Dumuzi:
you told me that i lacked compassion, so of course i took that personally, you said "you" as in me so i'm going to correct that

if you made a blanket statement that was clearly not about me i wouldn't take it personally



You seem to because your overall tone comes across as harsh and hostile. And you also say things that make me feel worse. For example, you bluntly said stuff like insecure guys are repulsive and unattractive. That may be true, but I'm insecure and don't know how not to be. So you saying stuff like that makes me feel worse and it stokes my resentment towards women because I perceive you as actively trying to hurt me. I don't get my basic emotional needs met and realistically I never will. That is devastating to face. I'm still trying to figure out how I can cope with it. These days I stay drunk and high, but I know that isn't something I can keep up.

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Dumuzi
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posted April 25, 2022 07:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dumuzi     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:

You seem to because your overall tone comes across as harsh and hostile. And you also say things that make me feel worse. For example, you bluntly said stuff like insecure guys are repulsive and unattractive. That may be true, but I'm insecure and don't know how not to be. So you saying stuff like that makes me feel worse and it stokes my resentment towards women because I perceive you as actively trying to hurt me. I don't get my basic emotional needs met and realistically I never will. That is devastating to face. I'm still trying to figure out how I can cope with it. These days I stay drunk and high, but I know that isn't something I can keep up.

where did i call insecure guys repulsive and unattractive? legit never said that and i'd love to see you try to find it

people having insecurities doesnt bother me, and i think being shy is cute

**** the only guy whose number i called from outside stuttered and ran away after giving it to me and i found it cute as hell

what was hostile about me saying i wouldnt mean anything by a compliment about how someone smells or take it to heart?

this is very dishonest of you because you're accusing me of things that i never even said and using them to tell me im being cruel towards you

i dont see why you would never get your needs met

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Dumuzi
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posted April 25, 2022 07:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dumuzi     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
you're 100% making things up now and i don't appreciate it

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Dumuzi
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posted April 25, 2022 07:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dumuzi     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
the only person who used the word "repulsive" in this thread prior to you accusing me of saying **** i never said has been you

all you

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Librapurr
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posted April 25, 2022 07:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Librapurr     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Dumuzi:
i find that odd, never heard it, not true anyway

plenty of guys, especially ones who want relationships and serious ones in my experience

seems like your average single guy really wants to settle down and a lot of them even want to be providers

i've had plenty of guys want to take care of me and usually too soon in for it to be comfortable (i don't like rushing into something heavy, i have to be friends first and it takes me a long time to develop significant feelings) and it really seems like an overabundance of that kind of guy and across all age ranges too

like even way younger guys in their early 20's get like that

that being said @aquaguy i genuinely think you'd benefit from focusing on **** other than women and being single etc it'd be a good vibe check for you


I see that Libra Venus is treating you well 😊
Funny, one of people who gave me that thought had many similarities to your placements. (But not Libra)

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teasel
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posted April 25, 2022 07:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for teasel     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
You are so condescending. I'm sorry that my biology prompts me to hope beyond hope that a woman could be attracted to me. If you dislike me (like every other woman) stop responding to me. You seem to want to argue with me.

She isn’t condescending. She’s been talking to you, like she talks with the rest of us.

Before you even say it: I don’t hate you.

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aquaguy91
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posted April 25, 2022 07:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Dumuzi:
where did i call insecure guys repulsive and unattractive? legit never said that and i'd love to see you try to find it

people having insecurities doesnt bother me, and i think being shy is cute

**** the only guy whose number i called from outside stuttered and ran away after giving it to me and i found it cute as hell

what was hostile about me saying i wouldnt mean anything by a compliment about how someone smells or take it to heart?

this is very dishonest of you because you're accusing me of things that i never even said and using them to tell me im being cruel towards you

i dont see why you would never get your needs met



I was just referring to something you said in the past. You have said the way I was being was repulsive. No need to get so mad about it.

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Dumuzi
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posted April 25, 2022 07:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dumuzi     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:

I was just referring to something you said in the past. You have said the way I was being was repulsive. No need to get so mad about it.

if i said that in the past it wasn't a blanket statement about insecure men, but likely a direct response to a behavior you directly displayed (and likely not insecurity)

like i said by all means though show me context because i would never call insecurities repulsive and it was likely a point about your anger and attitude (for which insecurity is not an excuse)

>so mad

i'm not even mad, i don't know you to feel mad at you, but it's a matter of fact statement

you're coming at me with **** that i know for a fact i didn't say because i would never just call people repulsive for being insecure let alone an entire gender and calling me condescending

i don't have to be mad to call you full of **** , that's just the truth

like straight up you're full of **** right now and twisting words that probably were exchanged months ago now to tell me i'm behaving in a way i havent

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Dumuzi
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posted April 25, 2022 07:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dumuzi     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Librapurr:
I see that Libra Venus is treating you well 😊
Funny, one of people who gave me that thought had many similarities to your placements. (But not Libra)


🤣
interesting

i have a lot of guy friends and spend a lot of time talking in places that are more heavily male dominated and a lot of them think like that

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aquaguy91
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posted April 25, 2022 07:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Dumuzi,
You pretty much said "I find it so repulsive when guys act like that" referring to the stuff I was talking about, which was similar subject matter to this. Basically, I took it to mean you were shaming me for talking about this stuff and expressing my insecurities because this stuff eats me up and makes me suicidal. At any rate you are way overreacting. The point is you Basically man up shamed me because you didn't like what I was saying.

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aquaguy91
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posted April 25, 2022 08:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Basically,
You were shaming me for complaining. Guys aren't allowed to complain and feelemotions. I'm not allowed to feel anger, hurt, and resentment for being treated badly by women for over a decade and experiencing nothing but rejection and pain.

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Dumuzi
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posted April 25, 2022 08:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dumuzi     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Dumuzi,
You pretty much said "I find it so repulsive when guys act like that" referring to the stuff I was talking about, which was similar subject matter to this. Basically, I took it to mean you were shaming me for talking about this stuff and expressing my insecurities because this stuff eats me up and makes me suicidal. At any rate you are way overreacting. The point is you Basically man up shamed me because you didn't like what I was saying.

no that's not good enough, i've caught you twisting my words here in this thread so i'm not going to take your word for it that it's what you're saying

find it or drop it because this is bordering on gaslighting

i'm not overreacting, telling you're wrong and twisting things isn't an overreaction, and you're giving me a tone i dont have

where's the overreaction? am i supposed to just shut my mouth and nod along because you said something false about me and can't be corrected? because that's not happening and never will

IP: Logged


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