posted July 04, 2009 09:05 AM         

So someone who is raped has the same experience as someone who is verbally abused for years. It is the memory that is the experience. It is the effect it has on the mind and subsequently the emotions that holds to person to the event through the memory for years.

All l am saying is that you can chose whether to allow this memory to exist or not. If you attach importance to it after the event and after the healing process then you are effectively adding wood to the fire to keep the fire burning.

This is why i won't subscribe and say "oh i'm so sorry about what happened to you" as l am just another person adding another log to the fire!!! So, instead i don't subscribe and then the more people who also don't subscribe, eventually the fire dies.

People LOVE to keep the past alive. To hold a candle to the past and their misfortunes. This is unhealthy and doesn't allow the greatest potential for NOW.

posted July 04, 2009 09:15 AM         

may everyone here have a peaceful loving creative wonderful day.

may freedom ring inside and out!

posted July 04, 2009 10:06 AM         

ON KARMA

I'm not saying I believe in karma, but the definition of karma which makes most sense to me has nothing to do with what you "deserve". All doctrines which connect karma to notions of reward and punishment are, I suspect, distortions of a principle which is purely mechanical. If you raped someone in a past life, you may get raped in this one; not because you deserve it, but, simply because "what goes up, must come down". It makes no difference if you did it through blindness (how else can you do it?). If there is a moral law at work, I suspect that the "purpose" is to acquaint the rapist with the experience of being raped, so as to promote empathy. It makes sense to me that empathy would be linked even to the most purely mechanical laws, since it is a principle of cohesion, which draws disparate elements together towards a common goal. I am not going to argue that this law, if it exists, is good or bad. I think, if it is, it just is.

ON KNOWING PEOPLE

There are things you can never know about a person online, just as there are things you can never know about a person after decades of sleeping next to them. Every interaction has its own dynamic, and its own kind of knowing. You can know a lot about a person's soul by what they write, if you listen. You can even make what I would call a soul connection. But I dont think you can connect on the most personal levels without being in their physical presence. I think some difficulty arises when we believe we know someone personally, when all we can know here is something less direct. Then you meet the person and your assumptions are dashed, and you think "I never knew them at all". But you did know them on some level(s), just not as well as you thought. Online, you are more likely to see a person's Midheaven (for instance, mine is a Scorpio Stellium of Sun, Venus, and Uranus.. and the reputation that preceedes me here -- for showboating, romancing, and shocking provocation -- bears little resemblence to my "real life" persona, though I cannot deny it is a significant part of me), and the planets in the upper half of their chart; the part which we generally consider to be less personal; particularly if our own planets happen to dominate the lower half of the chart. Its all relative, its all levels, and there are many kinds of knowing. Imagine a race of aliens who possess, in addition to the usual five senses, another twelve. Imagine one of these aliens meeting you in person and telling you that you are not really meeting each other, and that you can't really meet and know each other without the input of the other twelve senses. Do you see what I'm saying? Also, its cliche, but, some people you meet, or even read some of their words, and there is an instant kinship; you know each other like you've always known each other. I've read that it is common for people with Venus in the 9th to feel kinship with authors they have never met. Not everyone may be capable of this, but their incapacity doesnt mean the person with a 9th house Venus is delusional, does it? And, of course, some people you can be stranded with on a desert island for years and never figure them out or feel any closer to them. C'est la vie. Some people's values, perspectives, and/or personalities (whether online or in the flesh) will never jive with our own, but we can't deny the interest and tolerance they arouse in others. Just some thoughts.

posted July 04, 2009 10:07 AM         

"working through the process" is something that is an interesting subject.

Lets say for instance, one suffers a trauma and the length of the trauma is say 30 minutes long. Why is it necessary to spend more than 30 minutes to 'work through the process' and what is the process?

We are simply our MINDS. What we think and tell our minds is how we are... so, hypothetically (and don't all get emotional and start slagging me off here zzzz) but hypothetically if we can disassociate our 'trauma' from being negative and 'oh ow awful' then our minds don't know any different!!

I know i will get sh1t for this because it is a quite out of the box way of looking at it but ASSOCIATION is everything!!!

As another example - a woman who has been married for 20 yrs finds out her husband is cheating on her. Now, she can either leave him and 20 years of a great marriage OR she can disassociate herself from it and say 'it is not worth wrecking 20 years of my life for one lousy screw".

It's all about perspective and if you wanna be right all the time or you wanna just go with the flow.

Unfortunately, when events conquer in our lives it's because our minds are ruling us, not the other way round.

posted July 04, 2009 10:09 AM         

I am simply linking the two together. If others feel they need to accuse me of saying people DESERVE it then its their problem for allowing the fear of their trauma to dominate their lives and then, with this denial - deflect the blame onto me.

posted July 04, 2009 10:10 AM         

quote:

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i have never mentioned DESERVE with KARMA

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I didnt think you had, Lara.

posted July 04, 2009 10:45 AM         

There is truth in what Lara is saying about healing and how attachment to the past can make complete healing difficult and sometimes impossible. This is why changing how we view the past can help change how we feel about it. Unfortunately it's not easy to do this because the conscious mind is at work, and that's why we have to bypass it and go deeper. (Our EGO is here as a survival mechanism, but in its overzealousness to protect us it fights anything that reminds it of anything that has hurt us in the past, thinking it is a threat). And this is why I recommend healing techniques such as hypnosis and EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) to remove deep-seated psychological traumas.

I am not trying to invalidate or downplay what other people have gone thru. I'm just saying that life can be so much better if we learn to live in the NOW. I know some people will say this is escapism or denial. No. Very far from it. Leaving the past where it belongs will make you feel lighter. And travelling light on to the future is the best way to go. My two-centavos.

posted July 04, 2009 10:52 AM         

Great post Deux.

posted July 04, 2009 11:25 AM         

It's a conscious thought and action that happens when one realizes that the past is only a memory and memories are always distorted.

posted July 04, 2009 01:02 PM         

quote:

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Its really insane, the extremes to which these philosophies (Pluto in Leo philosophies, I call them) can go, if they are not taken with a grain of salt.

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posted July 04, 2009 02:49 PM         

there's a great book (whose name i've forgotten) that puts forth the hypothesis that there are generational cycles that repeat over and over again. the complete cycle is about 85 years (a uranus orbit? a longish human lifespan?) ie when the last of a generation dies, and the memories are no longer held in the general consciousness, the cycle repeats. the pluto in leo generation fits in with their "prophet" generation. so about 85 years BEFORE PLUTO IN LEO (pluto in taurus) was the last PROPHET generation..before that - 1780s(pluto in aqua)...etc