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Author
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Topic: "Cheating" Is It Any Of Your Business?
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MoonWitch
Knowflake Posts: 275
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 24, 2010 10:41 PM
 
And also, that is your opinion and judgements of others. What works for your relationship is fine. I feel mine and my boyfriend's relationship is more pure without involving other people sexually.And i don't know how you think the STD point doesn't hold up. You can trust someone all you want in an open relationship but that has nothing to do with birth control and condoms failing and ending up with a disease for the rest of your life or unwanted kids. Someone waiting on me in a restaurant isn't going to be placing their fingers and/ or penis in my most intimate spots. Sometimes you sound so condescending, valus. Some people choose to give themselves to each other completely out of love... Just because you don't happen to agree with it doesn't mean it is all done because of negative reasons. IP: Logged |
GypseeWind
Moderator Posts: 3835
From: Dayton,Ohio USA
Registered: May 2009
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posted April 25, 2010 12:07 AM
-----IP: Logged |
lionseye***
Knowflake Posts: 324
From: edmonton, ab. ca
Registered: May 2009
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posted April 25, 2010 02:27 AM
Let's face it, sex can get lame with the same person after the 200th time. Even after the 3rd time for some. You need to find a mate who is more than fu$Kable. You need to be able to enjoy their company in all situations.Life is not spent in bed. Fools.
I need to know if you just want to sex me up, or if you want to have a future/family. Period. Seems old fashioned, but is really just the nature of the sexes.
Yes, it's my business if you f**k around. If you lead me believe that We're monogomous. Why do you need more than me? Are you disfunctional or something? I need to know this.IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 3557
From: acousticgod@sbcglobal.net
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 25, 2010 02:54 AM
quote:
But people should realize that
it IS out of weakness, and it IS
about controlling and confining
the person you supposedly love.
I don't think so. If you find you're spending less time with a treasured friend, you miss your friend. Sure they're able to spend time away from you, and they're allowed to make as many other friends as they like. Your theory supposes that it's strong and freedom loving to let your friend just split on you without ever doing anything about it, and really what follows is that because you never do anything about it, because you never put any effort into claiming your relationship they have no reason to believe that they mean anything to you. Humans are better relating and learning to relate than they are being solitary. If it's weakness, it's mutual, and you'd be hard pressed to find a person that never and wouldn't lay claim to the relationships they value most. I'm relatively certain this is an inherent trait, and because I believe this I also believe it won't be transcended. quote:
Let's face it, sex can get lame with the same person after the 200th time. Even after the 3rd time for some. You need to find a mate who is more than fu$Kable. You need to be able to enjoy their company in all situations.Life is not spent in bed. Fools.
I agree. I'll add that each of us have certain freedoms that we want to maintain even within a relationship. The key is finding a partner that can tolerate those necessary freedoms. IP: Logged |
lionseye***
Knowflake Posts: 324
From: edmonton, ab. ca
Registered: May 2009
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posted April 25, 2010 03:11 AM
Once a slu# , always a slu# ?
Indeed a slu# should be with a slu#/ Leave us normal folks alone.  IP: Logged |
listenstotrees
Knowflake Posts: 1448
From: the 5th dimension
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 25, 2010 09:39 AM
I don't think sex gets lame with the same person. I think it can get better.
quote:
Some people choose to give themselves to each other completely out of love... Just because you don't happen to agree with it doesn't mean it is all done because of negative reasons.
  IP: Logged |
listenstotrees
Knowflake Posts: 1448
From: the 5th dimension
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 25, 2010 09:53 AM
quote:
But people should realize that
it IS out of weakness, and it IS
about controlling and confining
the person you supposedly love.
The same could be said for people who are in relationships where they make their partner feel bad for wanting monogamy, and not wanting the person they are with to be have no self restraint when it comes to every lustful whim they may get.I think people who want to sleep around should do it, because eventually they'll learn how unfulfilling it is anyway. IP: Logged |
listenstotrees
Knowflake Posts: 1448
From: the 5th dimension
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 25, 2010 09:55 AM
I believe in free love, but lust and love are not the same.IP: Logged |
listenstotrees
Knowflake Posts: 1448
From: the 5th dimension
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 25, 2010 10:02 AM
The reason why a lot of people allow their partners to go and do this sort of thing whereas deep down they wouldn't really have chosen it....is because they often have low self esteem....they don't feel they are good enough to have someone be selfless enough not to do that sort of thing, but instead put that person's feelings above their own carnal cravings, so that they never have to be haunted by fears of inadequacy or wonder how they might compare....it widens, not deepens the relationship.I like what "Amy" says in the film "Chasing Amy" regarding this. IP: Logged |
AbsintheDragonfly
Moderator Posts: 1173
From: Gaia
Registered: Apr 2010
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posted April 25, 2010 11:25 AM
quote:
Someone waiting on me in a restaurant isn't going to be placing their fingers and/ or penis in my most intimate spots.
I think that's just about one of the most brilliant things I have heard in a long time. Whatever gets you through the night it's alright. That being said, if my relationship is monogamous, you better believe it's my business if someone wants to be sleeping around. There's too many things that can go wrong, the least of which is an STD. Usually people have this kind of thing blow up in their faces. Communicate, communicate, communicate. If you want to start buggering someone else, you better come talk to me, so we can renegotiate the parameters of our relationship. ------------------
We cannot seek or attain health, wealth, learning, justice or kindness in general. Action is always specific, concrete, individualized, unique. --Benjamin Jowett
It is in giving that we receive. --Saint Francis of Assisi
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MoonWitch
Knowflake Posts: 275
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 25, 2010 11:27 AM
Even if we took love and jealousy out of the scenario ... Trust and mutual respect should be uppermost in a relationship with your life PARTNER whether you both choose to have an open relationship or an exclusive relationship. IP: Logged |
listenstotrees
Knowflake Posts: 1448
From: the 5th dimension
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 25, 2010 12:04 PM
Communication= couples becoming less inhibited= more orgasms= no time to cheat.  IP: Logged |
LEXX
Moderator Posts: 2316
From: Still out looking for Schr�dinger's cat.........& LEXIGRAMMING... is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 25, 2010 12:37 PM
lionseye***
quote:
Once a slu# , always a slu# ?
Indeed a slu# should be with a slu#/ Leave us normal folks alone.
What do you consider being a **** ?
Promiscuous?
If so.....
I assure you.....
once wild, not always wild.....
DEFINITELY NOT!------------------
Everyone is a teacher...
Everyone is a student...
Learning is eternal.
}><}}(*>
.☆¨¯`♥ ¸.☆¨¯`♥ ¸.☆¨¯`♥ IP: Logged |
listenstotrees
Knowflake Posts: 1448
From: the 5th dimension
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 25, 2010 01:44 PM
Indeed.IP: Logged |
MoonWitch
Knowflake Posts: 275
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 25, 2010 01:57 PM
Btw, absinthe is one of my favorite drinks IP: Logged |
listenstotrees
Knowflake Posts: 1448
From: the 5th dimension
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 25, 2010 02:42 PM
Absinthe=   IP: Logged |
Valus
Knowflake Posts: 3318
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 25, 2010 08:15 PM
.IP: Logged |
MyVirgoMask
Knowflake Posts: 2885
From: Bay Area, CA
Registered: May 2009
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posted April 25, 2010 09:56 PM
"Wow, there are a lot of dumb comments."Wow, you're right about that lol "But I'm not going to waste time I could be
spending with my fiancee explaining this
to people who don't think or feel like i do,
and can't see it my way for a second." Good for you, Valus.
I'm glad you're happy (seriously). But why proselytize and 'waste time' (as you so aptly put it) in the first place with this thread in the first if you're so happy? Why not just say that you're happy with your situation and let us be happy FOR you? IP: Logged |
listenstotrees
Knowflake Posts: 1448
From: the 5th dimension
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 25, 2010 10:02 PM
I assume its because he likes to think deeply about lots of things; enjoys a bit of philosophical debate.IP: Logged |
MoonWitch
Knowflake Posts: 275
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 25, 2010 10:32 PM
Debate isn't coming in, stating there are dumb comments, and then expressing how he has no time for the thread all of a sudden because he's entirely too busy His last post really had little in relation to the post that started the thread, that's true. Glad you had a good weekend with your S.O. though, valus!! We spent the weekend on the sailboat in the marina, went for long walks on the beach ( really), walked the dog on the boardwalk, saw a movie, drank some good wine, and are now about to watch The Tudors. IP: Logged |
cpn_edgar_winner
Knowflake Posts: 2853
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 25, 2010 10:52 PM
planting a garden is hard work.
living off the land while very wholesome and independant is quite a feat.cheating by definition is :
Cheating is an act of lying, deception, fraud, trickery, imposture, or imposition not two people in a loving relationship who honestly do or do not have other sexual partners. by definition of the word cheating..you tell me if it was your business??? lying and deception will kill trust and love in an instant. are you sure the word cheating is what you meant??. IP: Logged |
MyVirgoMask
Knowflake Posts: 2885
From: Bay Area, CA
Registered: May 2009
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posted April 25, 2010 11:19 PM
LTT, I think MoonWitch's response kind of says it all. Debate takes several sides, not shooting people down the second they say something you don't like. The dumb comment ....comment (lol) puts others down. And puts down others who have shared personal details and perspectives about their own lives.
IP: Logged |
mermaid26
Knowflake Posts: 660
From: just visiting you know
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted April 26, 2010 11:07 AM
Perhaps Valus is leading us to the deeper mystery...the intermingling of All souls...From: Soul Mates by: Thomas Moore
Pleasures of Soul Mates, pg. 257 Every relationship that touches the soul leads us into a dialogue with eternity, so that, even though we may think our strong emotions focus on the people around us, we are being set face to face with divinity itself, however we understand or speak that mystery.
Seems to me that ultimately all thought provocation is necessary, to keep us all evolving, via our own unique thought processes.
IP: Logged |
Valus
Knowflake Posts: 3318
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 26, 2010 11:13 AM
.IP: Logged |
Valus
Knowflake Posts: 3318
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 26, 2010 11:17 AM
Nicely said, mermaid.But I'm beginning to fear that
the ones who get it have no need
to hear it spelled out like that,
and the ones who don't get it,
won't get your explanation either. I know, its a very fatalistic thought. Doesn't mean it isn't true.  thanks anyway IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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