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Author
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Topic: rumours and gossip
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charmainec
Moderator Posts: 2361
From: on the other side of the rainbow
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 12:11 PM
  
A man walks up to you and says - everything I say to you is a lie. Is he telling you the truth or is he lying?
Hes lying. Even though hes lying when he says everything he says is a lie some of the things he says can be a lie and this is one of them
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charmainec
Moderator Posts: 2361
From: on the other side of the rainbow
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 12:14 PM
A fisherman got such a reputation for stretching the truth that he bought a pair of scales and insisted on weighing every fish he caught in front of a witness.All went well until, one day a doctor borrowed the scales to weigh a newborn baby. The baby weighed forty-seven pounds!
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charmainec
Moderator Posts: 2361
From: on the other side of the rainbow
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 12:16 PM
"You seem to be in some distress," said the kindly judge to the witness. "Is anything the matter?""Well, your Honour," said the witness, "I swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, but every time I try, some lawyer objects."
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charmainec
Moderator Posts: 2361
From: on the other side of the rainbow
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 12:17 PM
At school, a boy was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth". The boy decides to go home and try it out. He goes home, and as he is greeted by his mother he says, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him a $50 note and says, "Just don't tell your father. "Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father also promptly hands him a $50 note and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother." Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day, when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your FATHER a big hug IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 8188
From: The Goober Galaxy
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 12:18 PM
“The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.” Oscar Wilde------------------
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." Charles Schultz IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 8188
From: The Goober Galaxy
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 12:19 PM
"I don't at all like knowing what people say of me behind my back. It makes me far too conceited.” Oscar Wilde------------------
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." Charles Schultz IP: Logged |
charmainec
Moderator Posts: 2361
From: on the other side of the rainbow
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 12:20 PM
The Truth - Joke
A man and his secretary are having an affair, so one afternoon they get a motel room and have strenuous sex.
He's not used to the pace, so he falls asleep afterwards and doesn't wake up until about 8:30 that night, at which time he realizes it's late and that he has to get home. He says to his secretary, "Quick! While I get dressed, you take my shoes outside and drag them around through the grass and mud." Puzzled, the secretary complies. When the man gets home about 9:30 his wife confronts him and asks him where he's been. The man says, "I cannot lie to you. I spent the better part of the day doing my secretary in a motel room, then I fell asleep, woke up later, and came right home." The woman looks down at his shoes and says, "You lying ******* , you've been out playing golf again!"
lmao IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 8188
From: The Goober Galaxy
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 12:20 PM
“Who gossips with you will gossip of you.” Irish Saying------------------
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." Charles Schultz IP: Logged |
charmainec
Moderator Posts: 2361
From: on the other side of the rainbow
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 12:21 PM
A fellow came to a house with a red light burning in front, so he stepped inside. There was no one in sight and nothing there but an empty bare hallway, with two doors reading "Over 35" and "Under 35." He decided to be truthful and entered the door that said "Over 35." He found himself in another empty hallway, this one with two doors that read, "Over 8 inches" and "Under 8 inches." Truthful again, he went through the "Under 8 inches" door and found himself in another empty hall, with two more doors reading, "Once a night" and "Over 4 times a night." Still wanting to be truthful, he entered the door marked "Once a night" and found himself back out on the street. The moral of this story is, "Always tell the truth and you'll never get screwed."
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charmainec
Moderator Posts: 2361
From: on the other side of the rainbow
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 12:23 PM
Did you eat my cake???  IP: Logged |
charmainec
Moderator Posts: 2361
From: on the other side of the rainbow
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 12:26 PM
A man went into the Chamber of Commerce of a small town, obviously desperate. He asked the man at the counter, "Is there a criminal attorney in town?The man replied, "We think so - but we can't prove it yet."
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Randall
Webmaster Posts: 8188
From: The Goober Galaxy
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 12:28 PM
“The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.” Will Rogers------------------
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." Charles Schultz IP: Logged |
charmainec
Moderator Posts: 2361
From: on the other side of the rainbow
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 12:28 PM
During a job interview at my granddaughter’s pharmacy, an applicant was asked, "Have you ever been convicted of a felony?" "No," he answered. "My hearing is scheduled for next week." IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 8188
From: The Goober Galaxy
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 12:29 PM
“Gossip, n.: Hearing something you like about someone you don't.” Earl Wilson------------------
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." Charles Schultz IP: Logged |
charmainec
Moderator Posts: 2361
From: on the other side of the rainbow
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 12:30 PM
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Randall
Webmaster Posts: 8188
From: The Goober Galaxy
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 12:30 PM
“Gossip is a sort of smoke that comes from the dirty tobacco-pipes of those who diffuse it: it proves nothing but the bad taste of the smoker.” George Eliot------------------
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." Charles Schultz IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 8188
From: The Goober Galaxy
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 12:31 PM
“In our appetite for gossip, we tend to gobble down everything before us, only to find, too late, that it is our ideals we have consumed, and we have not been enlarged by the feasts but only diminished.” Pico Iyer------------------
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." Charles Schultz IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 8188
From: The Goober Galaxy
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 12:33 PM
“A gossip is one who talks to you about others; a bore is one who talks to you about himself; and a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about yourself.” Lisa Kirk------------------
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." Charles Schultz IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 5303
From: Pleasanton, CA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 12:36 PM
quote:
“The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.” Will Rogers
Which is why there are apparently conversations about some blog? IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 8188
From: The Goober Galaxy
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 12:36 PM
“Gossip is the Devil's radio.” George Harrison------------------
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." Charles Schultz IP: Logged |
charmainec
Moderator Posts: 2361
From: on the other side of the rainbow
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 12:36 PM
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Randall
Webmaster Posts: 8188
From: The Goober Galaxy
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 12:38 PM
“A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.” The Bible------------------
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." Charles Schultz IP: Logged |
charmainec
Moderator Posts: 2361
From: on the other side of the rainbow
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 12:38 PM
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Randall
Webmaster Posts: 8188
From: The Goober Galaxy
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 12:39 PM
“A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much.” The Bible------------------
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." Charles Schultz IP: Logged |
juniperb
Moderator Posts: 1859
From: Blue Star Kachina
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 12:43 PM
I`m where PlutoSquared is . Maybe she & I should start a blog  ------------------
What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world is immortal"~ - George Eliot IP: Logged |
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