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Topic: rumours and gossip
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katatonic Knowflake Posts: 6342 From: Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 11:00 AM
are by definition peoplle talking BEHIND EACH OTHERS BACKS. firecracker just attempted to KILL rumours and gossip by coming out in the open with something she had heard.i am not interested in the subject matter, but the situation here. if people talk about others amongst themselves it is inevitable that the "chinese whispers" syndrome will take over....ie people will repeat what they hear but it will get slightly distorted as it passes along by the fact that we all HEAR and INTERPRET the same facts differently. i don't expect any reply though you all are welcome to share your thoughts on this phenomenon. but i say, taking it to PRIVATE is where the distortions creep in, and talking in PUBLIC lets people see the truth...even though we can obviously lie here if we want to, we will be called out and the truth exposed. just saying. or else if you HEAR whispers, ignore them as being likely to be somewhat distorted, either by the teller or the listener! IP: Logged |
katatonic Knowflake Posts: 6342 From: Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 11:02 AM
you can close this now if you like!IP: Logged |
juniperb Moderator Posts: 1859 From: Blue Star Kachina Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 11:05 AM
just saying. or else if you HEAR whispers, ignore them as being likely to be somewhat distorted, either by the teller or the listener! Perception, perception perception. ------------------ What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world is immortal"~ - George Eliot IP: Logged |
Deux*Antares Knowflake Posts: 945 From: I am where I am and it's enough. Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 11:14 AM
“Believe none of what you hear and half of what you see.” - Benjamin FranklinIP: Logged |
Randall Webmaster Posts: 8188 From: The Goober Galaxy Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 11:30 AM
Private matters are no one's business but the ones that are personally involved. I don't gossip. I never believe rumors. People gossip to gain favor from others and make friends. They also do it to cover up their own low self-esteem issues. For example, as if to say, "Here, look at him/her! He/she is a bad person to do this. I am better than he/she!" I guess I'm a mini-celebrity running this site, so I expect a certain amount of gossip. I will not allow it on Lindaland, though; nor will I give it any recognition or energy. It should stay in the dark back rooms where it belongs among those whose lives it seems to enrich. ------------------ "Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." Charles Schultz IP: Logged |
Randall Webmaster Posts: 8188 From: The Goober Galaxy Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 11:34 AM
Gossipers don't care about "truth." Truth is boring. As long as I know the truth, that's all that matters to me. ------------------ "Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." Charles Schultz IP: Logged |
charmainec Moderator Posts: 2361 From: on the other side of the rainbow Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 11:35 AM
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Randall Webmaster Posts: 8188 From: The Goober Galaxy Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 11:39 AM
Also, people gossip to gain acceptance among their peers. True character is not swayed by rumors, and those with true character (like FC) stand up and ask for proof. And that is admirable. Just don't bring gossip to Lindaland, is what I'm saying. It doesn't deserve a second thought as far as I'm concerned. People should mind their own business and focus on their own lives. ------------------ "Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." Charles Schultz IP: Logged |
charmainec Moderator Posts: 2361 From: on the other side of the rainbow Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 11:46 AM
Nature ... has buried truth deep in the bottom of the sea.--_Democritus_.
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charmainec Moderator Posts: 2361 From: on the other side of the rainbow Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 11:48 AM
"Tis strange--but true; for truth is always strange, Stranger than fiction."--_Byron_.
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katatonic Knowflake Posts: 6342 From: Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 11:50 AM
i should add, that should ANYONE tell you anything about someone else, as suggested above, do not believe it or react until you have seen EVIDENCE and even PROOF. i understand not all matters are for public consumption. however when you "take it to private" the possibilities of fabrication grow geometrically. always look for FACTS before you accuse anyone of anything
considering the source is a good idea too, though we are often fooled into thinking those we love are necessarily honest/intelligent/ discerning...
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katatonic Knowflake Posts: 6342 From: Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 11:51 AM
and please see this thread as a "public service announcement" by someone who would like to see the churning OVER!IP: Logged |
charmainec Moderator Posts: 2361 From: on the other side of the rainbow Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 11:52 AM
There are three kinds of liars:1. The man whom others can't believe. He is harmless. Let him alone. 2. The man who can't believe others. He has probably made a careful study of human nature. If you don't put him in jail, he will find out that you are a hypocrite. 3. The man who can't believe himself. He is a cautious individual. Encourage him IP: Logged |
Randall Webmaster Posts: 8188 From: The Goober Galaxy Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 11:55 AM
Outstanding Article!What Motivates People To Gossip? http://factoidz.com/what-motivates-people-to-gossip/ ------------------ "Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." Charles Schultz IP: Logged |
charmainec Moderator Posts: 2361 From: on the other side of the rainbow Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 11:55 AM
John: What lie is close to the truth? Fred: There is no such thing! A lie is a lie and truth is a truth! John: Yes, there is a big lie that is very close to the truth! I can prove it too! Fred: Ok, tell me and I will believe you! John: When you were born, you came out from your mother’s butt! Fred: I did not come out from my mother’s butt. That’s a big lie! John: Yes, but it’s 1 inch away from the truth!
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Randall Webmaster Posts: 8188 From: The Goober Galaxy Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 11:58 AM
Wow, this article really gets into the psychology of the gossiper and explains it in a simple way (it's for kids). http://pbskids.org/itsmylife/friends/rumors/article4.html ------------------ "Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." Charles Schultz IP: Logged |
Randall Webmaster Posts: 8188 From: The Goober Galaxy Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 12:00 PM
OMG! The best article ever! http://www.buzzle.com/editorials/2-19-2006-89322.asp ------------------ "Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." Charles Schultz IP: Logged |
charmainec Moderator Posts: 2361 From: on the other side of the rainbow Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 12:00 PM
There is a case for telling the truth; there is a case for avoiding the scandal; but there is no possible defense for the man who tells the scandal, but does not tell the truth - - - G. K. Chesterton IP: Logged |
charmainec Moderator Posts: 2361 From: on the other side of the rainbow Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 12:01 PM
Men stumble over the truth from time to time, but most pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing happened. - - - Winston Churchill The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it. Ignorance may deride it. But in the end, there it is. - - - Winston Churchill
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ghanima81 Moderator Posts: 664 From: Maine Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 12:02 PM
We've been through this all before. There is a thread in the old LLC about liars. I'll have to find it. Really good quotes there. IP: Logged |
charmainec Moderator Posts: 2361 From: on the other side of the rainbow Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 12:02 PM
Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies. - - - Ralph Waldo Emerson IP: Logged |
PlutoSquared Moderator Posts: 4310 From: Mars Registered: Aug 2010
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posted January 05, 2011 12:05 PM
Wow, I must be waay out of the social loop. I hear NO gossip. That's either a good or bad thing. IP: Logged |
charmainec Moderator Posts: 2361 From: on the other side of the rainbow Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 12:07 PM
A man goes to a temple to find an oraclewhen he arrived he saw that there were 2 people identicle people standing in the temple both wearing the exact same thing.The 2 men tolded the man that if he wanted his future read he would have to do something first.They told him that only one of them was the real oracle and that he had to figure out which is which. They also added that one of them only tells lieswhile the other only tells the truthand that the man could only asked them 1 question. What question does the man ask?IP: Logged |
Randall Webmaster Posts: 8188 From: The Goober Galaxy Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 12:07 PM
How to deal with people who gossip about youWritten by M.Farouk Radwan, MSc. Dealing with Gossip How to deal with people who gossip about you A big part of dealing with people who gossip about you is understanding gossip, the thoughts that run in the mind of those who gossip and the psychology behind gossip. In my previous article why do people gossip I explained that the person who gossips is someone who carries some resentment towards you and who doesn’t have the courage to face you directly so he found no other option other than talking about you in your absence. People will gossip about you if they are jealous of you, if they aren’t strong enough to face you with their concerns or if they feel worthless and so try to make themselves more worthy by saying that they are better than someone else. After all if I am saying that Sam is really dumb then I am only trying to tell people that I am smart or at least smarter than him. Dealing with Gossip You now know that that the people who gossip about you are really suffering from serious issues and that there is no other explanation for gossiping other than an emotional imbalance that is affecting the gossiper's behavior (at least at the time of gossiping). Maintaining your prestige is one of the very important tasks you must do when dealing with gossipers. If as soon as you heard about the gossip you became mad, confronted them or threatened them then this will only show how you were hurt by the gossip and how fragile you are (see Why am I vulnerable to life problems). Instead you must appear in balance, strong and not easily shakable. Take few days to calm down and during this period try to assess the size of the damage that could happen to your reputation as a result of this gossip. Try to understand the main cause behind this gossip and the psychological factors involved in order to be able to predict whether this will happen once again or not. For example if you found that your workmates are gossiping about because they are jealous of you then expect this gossiping to happen frequently. The options you have when dealing with a gossiper After you have waited for few days you can do any of the following options based on how important the person is for you and the underlying causes for his gossip. Let him burn: This is one of my favorite strategies, if someone is gossiping about me because of jealousy I just keep sending him good news to let him burn with his own fire Confront him: If the gossiper is causing a damage to your reputation and if you don’t expect him to stop soon then call him when are calm. Tell him that you are aware of his doings and that only those who are scared to face one another directly gossip. Most people will apologize and remember your call the next time they decide to gossip about you. Make sure not to threat them because threatening will stimulate their anger and this stored anger will be released through more gossiping. In my book The ultimate guide to break any bad habit i explained how negative motivation can have a strong effect on people's behavior. Your call will be the negative motivation element that he will remember whenever he tries to talk about you Send him my previous article: My article Why do people gossip explains that the only reason behind gossiping are personal flaws. If the person is not important to you and if he has said really bad things about you then sending him such article is a very polite way of telling him “You are sick.” Preventing gossiping I am sure you know how bad it feels when you know that someone is gossiping about you and because you have felt that already try to stop yourself and the people around you from gossiping. If you can influence your friends then change the subject whenever they try to gossip about someone else and if you aren’t the leader of the pack then at least try to prevent yourself from gossiping about others. http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:TCLRwArRPcgJ:www.2knowmyself.com/How_to_deal_with_people_who_gossip_about_you+why+people+gossip&hl=en&gl=us&strip=1 IP: Logged |
charmainec Moderator Posts: 2361 From: on the other side of the rainbow Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2011 12:09 PM
The man askes:if you were the opposite one(Meaning if the truth one was the liar etc.)Who would you say is the oracle? Because then the truth teller would have to point to the fake one and the the liar would also have to point to the fake oneIP: Logged |