posted December 26, 2010 02:04 PM            

Say ,another person says," We all have pain. We all have heartache . Do you think YOU are the only one to be shoving it down people's throats all the time.
Go out and take a walk.

I would say,"That is not helpful to me. I do not care to hear it"

posted December 26, 2010 03:02 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ami Anne:
This is a concrete example of what I mean by an attack.
If I am writing about something painful like my son's funeral and I am sharing my emotions etc, some people will share their own emotions on a similar experience in their life.
This is healing for both people.

Say ,another person says," We all have pain. We all have heartache . Do you think YOU are the only one to be shoving it down people's throats all the time.
Go out and take a walk.

I would say,"That is not helpful to me. I do not care to hear it"

---

I sincerely doubt you, ami anne, are looking for a healing process when talking about your son's funeral, I think you are looking for something else when you do that here.

forgiveness, erasing of guilt may be

it is understandable, most (sane) people who lost a loved one feel this.

posted December 26, 2010 03:45 PM            

Let's change the scenario, just for a moment, to illustrate my point.
Suppose someone was on this board talking about addiction. And they were saying how they loved doing.. (whatever substance, fill in the blank) and they were going on about the merits of said substance.

If others read that, they would surely have a reaction. They would want to step up and say, "no, don't do that, it's bad for you." Wouldn't they? So, if that poster really had a strong conviction that what they were doing was 'right' they would have no problem defending their action.

This may not be the best analogy, but it's what popped into my mind at the moment.

So, what I am saying is that one, two, five, twenty threads on the same topic, or similiar topics sort of invites others in.
To expect total agreement of your point is, IMHO, being controlling.

Anytime you put your business out there on a public forum, it's a little unrealistic to demand that no one respond unless they agree with or support what you are talking about.

posted December 26, 2010 04:47 PM            

my father died suddenly when i was 19. the timing was such that my ego was cheated of him seeing me vindicated in what had seemed a major life failure of mine (regarding school) ... i had long suspected (he never wanted a long life and mentioned suicide more than once) that my father would not live a long time, but his death was sudden. it did not "upset" me in that i FELT complete about it. but i wished he could have stuck around at least a few more days to hear some good news about me, his disappointing daughter.,.

ten years later during an argument a BF said something intended to wound about me being the REASON for my father's (unconscious) suicide. it brought up stuff i didn't even know was there and CLEARED the lingering guilt from my system COMPLETELY. was the BF being respectful? NO. was he HELPFUL? more than i can ever express.

so once again, respectfully, since saying so seems important to you, i suggest that people who may seem blunt, brusque or even cruel in response to some of your posts may

a) be feeling wounded by you in some way b) be protecting something or someone but C) may not be attacking you at all but HELPING you.

as to the issue, yes sometimes people get offended for the wrong reasons! i would think you would identify with that at least a little. it is always very simple to say, oh no sorry, i didn't mean to laugh at you or the subject, i meant [i]THIS[//i]. issue cleared up and maybe even new bridges forged.

i guess what i am trying to say, ami, is that you have been at the center of many arguments with many DIFFERENT people here, and a lot of them could have been avoided if YOU took your own advice about mirrors, or if you took the first step to bridge the gap instead of insisting that everyone else do so. this is a TWO WAY STREET.

because, if you are not here to COMMUNICATE, but just to PONTIFICATE or express YOUR views, you should probably consider that there are many people here who will SEEM abrasive and even ugly. a blog or other instrument would be more suited to a one-sided conversation. or a conversation that is run along lines that suit you regardless of how other people feel or see the situation.

what i guess i am asking is that you accord the same respect to others that you expect FROM them. this is what i was taught as a child and pass on to my children. if you WANT respect, you must FIRST give it. if someone comes to you with what seems like an attack, perhaps you should, as in your example about the humour, ASK them if they are MEANING to attack you? perhaps you are misjudging THEM?

for me the MIRRORS are the MOST crucial part of the whole issue you have with a lot of people here. they are not ONE WAY mirrors, but, like the board itself, point in BOTH directions.

i agree you have been assisted in finding your pluto here. but not just that gut-powered self-defensive anger; that is a response to your pluto, true. but the actual pluto is in the taboos you hold about what people may and may not say to each other.

is it really to your advantage that people feel they must walk on eggshells on the board, that everyone ELSE must bottle up their natural responses so that YOU will feel protected and respected? that many people have "just walked away" because they were basically shut up and deleted for disagreeing with you? cause that is all it is, a disagreement. if you don't recognize yourself in the mirror then why is it so hard to look at?

posted December 26, 2010 04:54 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ami Anne:
I am ready to take the next step which is to let the fairy tale world tear, a little.

The Bible says to be as "wise as serpents, gentle as doves"
The wise as serpents part is the hurting part.
This world is not what fairy tales say it is unless you want to use fairy tales like Hansel and Gretyl when the witch wanted to put them in the oven.
Then, I guess, you could say it WAS

Well, that is all I have to write for ,now, but I will be back lol

---

posted December 26, 2010 05:06 PM            

years ago bruno bettleheim wrote a book about why fairy tales are IMPORTANT for children's psychological health. MANY of them deal with PLUTO issues in a way that allows kids to relate without being hurt...

in fact though they end happily ever after MOST fairy tales are about the dangers and tribulations of life, our fears and hopes and dreams...

posted December 26, 2010 05:15 PM            

That is a FABULOUS post. Thank you.

posted December 26, 2010 05:43 PM            

I will NOT apologize when my gut tells me something like I KNOW/FEEL with that interaction with Lexx.

posted December 26, 2010 05:56 PM            

Forgive me Pire if I am wrong, but that is vibe I get from your post, because usually you have no problem debating something if you are truly interested in it.

This stuff doesn't just stay in 'The 8th House Forum', right here is an example that it doesn't.
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum25/HTML/002059.html

posted December 25, 2010 02:05 PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
God did not want the call out thread
------------------
Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
Pluto conjunct Deja ,Bruh

That thread was not about you, nor concerning you, but still there you are. So we do read about it in other places.

When the forum supposedly glitched the other day, you became livid and demanded apologies from anyone who said that you deleted the thread. You said anyone who thought you may have messed with the thread was stupid.
Yet, (mirror here) when Pluto makes a thread about victims, you jump right in and assume it's about you.

posted December 26, 2010 06:09 PM            

Also, I think God glitches threads. I do. That is my opinion and I am entitled to it.