posted January 26, 2011 02:10 PM            

Kat

posted January 26, 2011 02:58 PM            

Although sex is important, there are so many other important aspects in a relationship that means more to me, if those aspects are not fulfilled then the sex will become meaningless. Don't get me wrong, I love it, but having gone through periods when sex was impossible (me being in Idaho / Germany while he was in Iraq) the other components of a relationship become incredibly obvious . Communication, intimacy, caring, taking care of finances and each other allows sex to progress naturally and fills each others needs, as I see it.

Bear and I have many older friends, from the organization that we belong, and have had the pleasure of learning from their experiences in life and in relationships. Many of them have been married for more than 40 years and they often tell us how communication, respect and shared intimacy (not necessarily sex) is what makes their relationships strong and successful. Heart problems, major medical conditions or even just plain old age can make physical sex impossible. They succeed because they love each other and are able to love without sex because sex is not the number one thing in the relationship.

posted January 26, 2011 03:34 PM            

Kat

posted November 14, 2011 08:53 PM            

Sex is incredibly important in a relationship to me. I'd even rate it at close to 100%. It's the most authentic expression of love and desire for me. And I've got Mars in Aries. Because it's tied tightly to how I feel about a person and how much I love and care about them. I'm a sexual person and I can't deny those parts of my self. We've got to flow together, and if we can't it's hard and I need a connection on all levels. To me sex is like dancing. I want to dance with my partner, and glide across the floor, and spin in circles and enjoy this gift of unconditional love bestowed upon us. There's no rush to be intimate but if it's completely off the table, it feels like something is missing and like physically we can't access something truly profound together.

posted November 14, 2011 09:26 PM            

And this is what puts the relationship pie together in my book.

sex is a third of what makes the relationship successful. (from a guy being able to wait til I'm ready to getting it on and making each other satisfied)

the next third is respect for each other. (love,equality, loyalty)

and the last third is money, financial stability with each other. Shallow sounding but true. Money is what most couples fight about. Example I am not gonna be the only one that has a real job...I wont be happy...or a guy that has a gambling problem.

posted November 15, 2011 04:25 AM            

Yeah that works out to 400%
They are all uber important.

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posted November 16, 2011 08:14 PM            

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I could have sex just about every day, and maybe even multiple times a day (with my Mars in Scorpio), but the reality is I'd like a partner in life that I'm 85%+ compatible with. That's what's important to me. Several things trump sex in importance.
However, I don't think I'd go for someone that's too prudish. Prudishness seems close-minded to me, and that's not a character trait I admire

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posted November 16, 2011 11:43 PM            

However having had my wild times in my youth....
I am totally uninterested in sex for sex sake.
Been there, done that, boring, or leaves one feeling empty or drained, and can be dangerous.
I would have to love the person and they love me.
Masturbation is way better in my opinion,
than sex without love.
And of course,
safe.
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posted November 25, 2011 03:26 AM            

To me it's not really a romantic relationship without the sex, because otherwise it's just a friendship...and even friends can and do live together. So if sex isn't involved, then how is it different from just being close friends?

I really hate about how our language can't really distinguish between different types of lovers (and perhaps asexual lovers?), friendships, and other relationships, though OTOH I suppose that if it did then we (at least in the USA who tend to be so competitive and wanting the best with the least effort) would probably come to downgrade anything that wasn't "gold star." Though sometimes I think many in our society do that anyway.

posted November 25, 2011 12:34 PM            

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PixieJane: To me it's not really a romantic relationship without the sex, because otherwise it's just a friendship...and even friends can and do live together. So if sex isn't involved, then how is it different from just being close friends?

I really hate about how our language can't really distinguish between different types of lovers (and perhaps asexual lovers?), friendships, and other relationships, though OTOH I suppose that if it did then we (at least in the USA who tend to be so competitive and wanting the best with the least effort) would probably come to downgrade anything that wasn't "gold star." Though sometimes I think many in our society do that anyway.

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What you're saying makes sense PixieJane. The importance of sex is relative to the kind of relationship you're in. In friendships I don't engage in sexual activity because I'm not looking for a mate I'm looking for a friend. The possibility of sex isn't even on the table when it comes to friendships with the opposite sex as a straight woman, because my intentions are geared strictly towards establishing an honest and thoughtful connection. Relationships are a different story all together. I'm looking for something transcendent.

posted November 29, 2011 07:37 AM            

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
--Agreed about sex being overrated. Sex honestly doesn't matter to me at all and I am celibate by choice, which feels natural and right to me.
.

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another celibate here.. so true, u cant truley appreciate a good relationship when its clouded by the physical..