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Author
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Topic: women needing mystery
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aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 4435
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 04, 2012 09:52 AM
  
quote:
Originally posted by Padre35:
Men like to look, women like to think, if everything is upfront there are no small details or double entendre' to consider.IE, mysterious=depth
yea that seems to be the mindset. but i honestly think people need to also include logic in the picture and not try to overthink things and see things in people that just arent there. i guess i'm alone in this aspect because i hate not knowing things,to me being mysterious is a waste of time. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 4435
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 04, 2012 10:11 AM
quote:
Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
[B] --amen** And to make things even more complicated, people have different definitions of "mysterious" and different degrees to which they like that. On top of that, people who are too in-your-face can be very obnoxious and annoying, which may be off-putting. People who go too far with expressing what they want, expressing it too
intensely, or expressing it too soon can
also make people VERY uncomfortable. [/
B]
yes being around somebody too in your
face is off putting, but i hardly see
honesty as a turn off. I personally want
to know where things are heading, i dont
see flying blind as fun, to me its a bad
idea. the way i see it is if somebody is turn offed by honesty/transparency they are not prepared for something real to begin with. Indecision is a turnoff to me.
IP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 515
From: charlotte, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted August 04, 2012 10:18 AM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
yea that seems to be the mindset. but i honestly think people need to also include logic in the picture and not try to overthink things and see things in people that just arent there. i guess i'm alone in this aspect because i hate not knowing things,to me being mysterious is a waste of time.
"people need to also include logic in the picture and not try to overthink things" How does that work? IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 4041
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted August 04, 2012 10:38 AM
OK. Here's the strategic plan for this evening. We'll go to the restaurant and sit at separate tables and order different food. Then we'll go to the movie theatre and watch different movies. Then we'll adjourn to the hotel room I've reserved where you can sit on the bed with the iPad on Facebook with your friends. I'll just read my book in the chair. Then we can be mysterious to each other and not be able to figure out each other's intentions, and not know if we like each other. How sexy is that?! IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 4041
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted August 04, 2012 10:45 AM
Good grief. I'm glad those days are over. I leave behind a trail of relationship destruction from girls that either play hard to get or want to be chased. Like to go out? Yes? Or no. Simple. No means No and Maybe means No. And you have about 3 seconds to respond.  . Just joking. . "you don't have to call me all the time.". Oh alright. The calls stop entirely. "why aren't you calling me?". . At the other extreme, "I'm gonna take you back to meet my mom and then we're gonna get married and have 12 kids in the next 10 years,". Lol. IP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 515
From: charlotte, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted August 04, 2012 10:54 AM
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Good grief. I'm glad those days are over. I leave behind a trail of relationship destruction from girls that either play hard to get or want to be chased. Like to go out? Yes? Or no. Simple. No means No and Maybe means No. And you have about 3 seconds to respond. . Just joking. . "you don't have to call me all the time.". Oh alright. The calls stop entirely. "why aren't you calling me?". . At the other extreme, "I'm gonna take you back to meet my mom and then we're gonna get married and have 12 kids in the next 10 years,". Lol.
Hmm..taking notes, are you sure that will work?  Suspect what is meant is having areas of ones life for the other person to discover. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 4435
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 04, 2012 11:05 AM
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Good grief. I'm glad those days are over. I leave behind a trail of relationship destruction from girls that either play hard to get or want to be chased. Like to go out? Yes? Or no. Simple. No means No and Maybe means No. And you have about 3 seconds to respond. . Just joking. . "you don't have to call me all the time.". Oh alright. The calls stop entirely. "why aren't you calling me?". . At the other extreme, "I'm gonna take you back to meet my mom and then we're gonna get married and have 12 kids in the next 10 years,". Lol.
amen brother! you took the words right out of my mouth.IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 4435
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 04, 2012 11:11 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Padre35:
"people need to also include logic in the picture and not try to overthink things"How does that work?
i meant that if someone isnt upfront , dont be suprised if it ends in dissappointment. like me, i wont just assume a girl likes me,if she doesnt communicate / show me , i'm out the door, i'm not gonna wait around for the "mystery" IP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 515
From: charlotte, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted August 04, 2012 11:15 AM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
i meant that if someone isnt upfront , dont be suprised if it ends in dissappointment. like me, i wont just assume a girl likes me,if she doesnt communicate / show me , i'm out the door, i'm not gonna wait around for the "mystery"
I believe the context is "you" are supposed to be mysterious..to them. Which is why the "use logic, but don't over think things" as me a bit puzzled as to what it was about. IP: Logged |
libraschoice77
Knowflake Posts: 335
From: NYC
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted August 04, 2012 11:18 AM
Every woman is different with what she finds appealing in a man. Being upfront with intentions and feelings is very important to me. I've encountered to many "mysterious" type men in the past only to get hurt or loose interest in the guy. My SO is very blunt about what he thinks and feels about things...he doesn't mince words, and that's how I prefer it IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 4435
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 04, 2012 11:29 AM
lol i was talking about about whoever likes mystery/playing hard to get, i think men and women both do this to varying degrees. If people insist on being left in the dark they shouldnt be suprised if it turns out that they are not on the same page emotionally as the other person, for example:maybe they have become emotionally invested only to find out that the other person doesnt feel the same way. my point is if your into the whole mystery thing, dont assume you and the other person are on the same page, it takes communication to establish that. by overthinking i meant dont assume you know how the person feels or what kind of person they are in reality . IP: Logged |
libraschoice77
Knowflake Posts: 335
From: NYC
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted August 04, 2012 11:38 AM
Yes, that has happened to me before. Where I was dating someone for awhile, and had feelings for only to discover that they didn't really feel the same way, but never voiced it. They just kept the so called mystery...Both people should communicate about the relationship.IP: Logged |
sand
Knowflake Posts: 6997
From:
Registered: May 2011
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posted August 04, 2012 11:40 AM
Those can b 2 different things. Mystery doesn't always equate to a lack of communication. IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 4041
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted August 04, 2012 11:41 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Padre35:
Suspect what is meant is having areas of ones life for the other person to discover.
Like the 8 kids and the 6 baby mommas. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 4435
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 04, 2012 11:44 AM
quote:
Originally posted by sand:
Those can b 2 different things. Mystery doesn't always equate to a lack of communication.
i disagreeIP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 4435
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 04, 2012 11:45 AM
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Like the 8 kids and the 6 baby mommas.
thats a sexy mystery yta, it gets me hot just thinking bout it. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 4435
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 04, 2012 11:47 AM
quote:
Originally posted by libraschoice77:
Yes, that has happened to me before. Where I was dating someone for awhile, and had feelings for only to discover that they didn't really feel the same way, but never voiced it. Just kept the so called mystery...Both people should communicate about the relationship.
exactly! thats the outcome of the mysterious route 99.9% of the time, its counterproductive IP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 515
From: charlotte, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted August 04, 2012 11:56 AM
quote:
Originally posted by sand:
Those can b 2 different things. Mystery doesn't always equate to a lack of communication.
Yep, it is the difference between interesting communication and just a banal flow of gibberish about nothing at all. Granted one has to listen, however it is the other persons job to actually make it interesting. IP: Logged |
sand
Knowflake Posts: 6997
From:
Registered: May 2011
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posted August 04, 2012 11:57 AM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by sand:
[b]Those can b 2 different things. Mystery doesn't always equate to a lack of communication.
i disagree[/B][/QUOTE]I must not understand what exactly u mean by mystery or playing hard to get but logically i believe the underlying principle is scarcity.. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 4435
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 04, 2012 12:35 PM
quote:
Originally posted by sand:
I must not understand what exactly u mean by mystery or playing hard to get but logically i believe the underlying principle is scarcity..
yes thats certainly a part of it, thats perhaps the most perplexing part to me. why is it that if we like somebody, we have to pretend we dont or downplay it. when i like someone i show it, i make efforts to spend time with them and talk/text them on the phone,i dont play the waiting game by not calling her for a few days to build suspense, if i feel like calling i call, plain and simple. because of the mystery/hard to get mentality people often think theres something there when theres not, i have had girls become obsessed with me when i didnt call them because they assumed i was being mysterious when in reality i wasnt interested .To me if you call , you are interested, if you dont your not, thats the way it should be , but you just never know with all the mindgames people play. i have also been pursuing girls who were very scarce as you put it and were very noncommital when it came to making plans, so i finally said f*ck i give up and quit calling them, only for them to call, text , or email me a week later asking"why arent you talking to me, are you upset?  " and my response "are you fu*king kidding me?" IP: Logged |
RegardesPlatero
Moderator Posts: 4366
From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted August 04, 2012 12:45 PM
--IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 4041
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted August 04, 2012 01:03 PM
Seriously,Should someone wants to be loved by me, the approach is not to go hiding and wear down my patience. I want all cards laid down on the table and want all intentions to be well known at all times. Four times, I've just walked away and moved on with my life where the girl liked me but wanted me to chase them down. My life is not a Shakespearean play and I neither have the inclination
nor the patience for that. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 4435
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 04, 2012 01:04 PM
quote:
Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
But what's the fun of just knowing everything, having nothing to explore, nothing to learn, nothing new to ever find out about the person? What's the point in that? I believe in revealing oneself slowly, over time, getting to know a person, in time, but never completely. There should always be a self that's always yours, I think--parts of you to which no one has access or can touch. I can appreciate directness, but, at the same time, I think that it's good to temper it with timing. Reveal, but over time, slowly, as you build trust and emotional closeness. I suppose it's in the same vein with nudity for me. I strongly dislike vulgar nudity. With artistic/beautiful kinds of nudity, like in old paintings for example, I still don't like all to be revealed. Even if all is revealed physically, I like for something to be saved for the imagination. Even if it's just a facial expression that is mysterious, the unknown is alluring. And with clothes, I find people who just wear revealing clothing not to be sexy at all. To me, what's appealing is when there is just enough revealed to be enticing, but enough concealed to cause wonder. Then again, Scorpy Venus here.
i can understand taking it slow, but i need to know where things are heading.
IP: Logged |
libraschoice77
Knowflake Posts: 335
From: NYC
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted August 04, 2012 01:15 PM
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Seriously,Should someone wants to be loved by me, the approach is not to go hiding and wear down my patience. I want all cards laid down on the table and want all intentions to be well known at all times. Four times, I've just walked away and moved on with my life where the girl liked me but wanted me to chase them down. My life is not a Shakespearean play and I neither have the inclination
nor the patience for that.
Agreed  IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 4435
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 04, 2012 01:23 PM
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Seriously,Should someone wants to be loved by me, the approach is not to go hiding and wear down my patience. I want all cards laid down on the table and want all intentions to be well known at all times. Four times, I've just walked away and moved on with my life where the girl liked me but wanted me to chase them down. My life is not a Shakespearean play and I neither have the inclination
nor the patience for that.
agreed
IP: Logged |
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