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Author
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Topic: women needing mystery
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aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 4435
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 04, 2012 02:17 AM
  
This is something i keep hearing from women over and over, that they arent interested in a guy unless he is "mysterious". disclaimer: i am not saying all women say this so dont accuse me of it , thank you  . but its something i keep hearing and i wonder whats so appealing about being in the dark. my mom is single and in her 50s and always complaining how lonely she is, she is always on dating websites and has met 3 great guys this year, but she loses interest because they are too upfront about their intentions and feelings. she says "i need the mystery of not knowing if he loves me or not!" she even encouraged me to be mysterious because a guy who is upfront about his feelings and intentions is boring and wont get women.lol so i'm curious is this mindset common among women? and any ladies on here who have a need for a mysterious guy, what is the appeal? doesnt that set you up for heartbreak?
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Junethird
Moderator Posts: 2910
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted August 04, 2012 02:42 AM
Ahhh its the equivilant advice for woman. Play hard to get.IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 4435
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 04, 2012 03:02 AM
yea thats true. i personally like the idea of both parties being upfront.IP: Logged |
Junethird
Moderator Posts: 2910
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted August 04, 2012 03:12 AM
Yes, thats all nice and wonderful... But alittle game playing and a touch of drama is necessary to capture the heart of your beloved. Keep them on their toes lol I think most get lost on the "amount" of playing hard to get/being difficult...etc. aaaah its a fine line... But at one point you get tired of the dumb silly games and just want some definite answers of yes or no. Are we in or out.I think this saying is true... You dont kow what you have, until its gone, and if you are lucky to get a second do over/chance. Thats when hopefully the games stops. Then again, If love was that easy all of us would be with our hearts desires right now  IP: Logged |
charmainec
Moderator Posts: 5577
From: Venus next to Randall
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 04, 2012 03:23 AM
I prefer the upfront approach as well.But each to his own. ------------------
quote:
Remember, love can conquer the influences of the planets....It can even eliminate karma.
Linda GoodmanIP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 4435
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 04, 2012 03:30 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Junethird:
Yes, thats all nice and wonderful... But alittle game playing and a touch of drama is necessary to capture the heart of your beloved. Keep them on their toes lol I think most get lost on the "amount" of playing hard to get/being difficult...etc. aaaah its a fine line... But at one point you get tired of the dumb silly games and just want some definite answers of yes or no. Are we in or out.I think this saying is true... You dont kow what you have, until its gone, and if you are lucky to get a second do over/chance. Thats when hopefully the games stops. Then again, If love was that easy all of us would be with our hearts desires right now
i disagree that drama and games are neccesary lol. i dont think love has to be complicated, people choose to make it complicated.
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Junethird
Moderator Posts: 2910
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted August 04, 2012 03:35 AM
Thats true *sigh* I wont argue... I think the majority of us would prefer the upfront type. But speaking in general terms... that is not always the case. And people will forever play games to Try and capture the heart of their beloved. The courting process is the worst but also so very nice. But it is So much nicer and warm when you are finally settled into the relationship and the games have subsided. IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 5365
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted August 04, 2012 03:41 AM
I think its the thrill of the chase.. Does your mom have a fire mars? IP: Logged |
Junethird
Moderator Posts: 2910
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted August 04, 2012 03:42 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Lioness:
I think its the thrill of the chase..
Better said IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 4435
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 04, 2012 03:44 AM
i honestly think if people cut out the games and were honest we wouldnt have nearly as many problems as we are seeing today with relationships. its common to hear" he/she is not at all who i thought they were." we wouldnt have that problem if people were more upfront about who they are and what they want would we?IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 4435
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 04, 2012 03:45 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Lioness:
I think its the thrill of the chase.. Does your mom have a fire mars?
yes leo IP: Logged |
Junethird
Moderator Posts: 2910
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted August 04, 2012 03:50 AM
Prolly. But you are missing a key ingredient. excitement, mystery,chase.We all want the movie love story Guy meets girl Girl rejects guy Guy tries to impress girl Guy grows on Girl and gives in to his charming cute ways and agrees to go out. Guy does something dumb and screws up and he and girl break up He tries profusely to win her back She rejects him until and then has a change of heart when is reminded of him by a silly song Guy and girl get back together Get married and have lots of babies lol Of course its not that easy or simple. People let their insecurites, fears of rejection get in the way. Its human nature. IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 5365
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted August 04, 2012 03:53 AM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
yes leo
Its the thrill of the chase then Leo's need to pounce their prey from the bushes. Im also a leo mars, I need some sort of challenge..
Keep my fire buring IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 4435
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 04, 2012 03:55 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Junethird:
Prolly. But you are missing a key ingredient. excitement, mystery,chase.We all want the movie love story Guy meets girl Girl rejects guy Guy tries to impress girl Guy grows on Girl and gives in to his charming cute ways and agrees to go out. Guy does something dumb and screws up and he and girl break up He tries profusely to win her back She rejects him until and then has a change of heart when is reminded of him by a silly song Guy and girl get back together Get married and have lots of babies lol
Of course its not that easy or simple. People let their insecurites, fears of rejection get in the way. Its human
nature.
lol that scenario doesnt appeal to me at all. i dont try to impress anyone. if somebody doesnt like me for my honest to goodness self they can kiss my tooshy .
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Maka
Knowflake Posts: 182
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted August 04, 2012 03:57 AM
I wish people could just be themselves. I'm tired of folks telling me not to put my elbows on the table, not to smile too much, not to suggest a hot wing and beer joint or carnival with cotton candy and popcorn for a first date, yada, yada.Yeah I understand first impressions are important, but how long do we have to keep up the pretenses for? How long is it before I realize you're another human being? That you breath oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide just like me. That you're not some catalog ordered mandingo or bambino? If you expect us to make this long term then we need to "feel" each other out, we need to know about each other and not just the surface. I remember picking up my first love/long-term ex from the airport and we were still friends/getting to know each other and we were both starved, so we stopped in the airport diner. He had chili cheese fries-bad combination to choose at an airport diner. So, on the way back he just blasted one like a trumpet and boy did he slide down in his seat and hide in his winter coat. He said, You must think I'm so gross, I really f'ed this up and put you off? I laughed so flipping hard, I was having such a bad day and that just tickled my inside. I told him, no that he's just human. but next time he should invest in some pepto bismol. So, yes that guy has been my most cherished and longest relationship. IP: Logged |
Junethird
Moderator Posts: 2910
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted August 04, 2012 04:16 AM
@aquaguy91,Yeah but you asked, i answered in generalities. We all want to be chased a little. Iam not gonna give it up just like that, he has to earn it work for it a little, no? Lol but if i truly love him then i cant say no to him or stay mad too long... toss games out the window and just be my sparkling june self but in the early stages its all how you come across to the other person. Being intersting, different and enjoying living your life and passionately doing the things that bring you great joy is a big attraction factor. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 4435
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 04, 2012 04:25 AM
yea lol. but most people are big phonies in the early stage, thats the problem. the way i see it is i shouldnt have to be someone i'm not to get someone to like me, thats not real. but thats exactly what most people doIP: Logged |
Junethird
Moderator Posts: 2910
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted August 04, 2012 04:30 AM
Pretending to be someone you are not vs enjoying and living your life are two different things...Pretending to know how to play tennis= bad idea
Play tennis every saturday morning =good idea IP: Logged |
Junethird
Moderator Posts: 2910
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted August 04, 2012 04:31 AM
Just be yourself but dont make room right away for every girl you meet. No rush. Let it build up slowly. Thats all...IP: Logged |
Maka
Knowflake Posts: 182
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted August 04, 2012 04:38 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Junethird:
Just be yourself but dont make room right away for every girl you meet. No rush. Let it build up slowly. Thats all...
I agree with this, you should always share your passions no matter how other worldly or strange they are. It's a great ice breaker and conversation starter. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 4435
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 04, 2012 04:40 AM
lol i dont , i've come to realize i'm fundamentally incompatible with the world, well i guess having so much aquarius in my chart its no suprise.
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sand
Knowflake Posts: 6997
From:
Registered: May 2011
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posted August 04, 2012 04:54 AM
Love/ desire is a complex emotion. Not everyone, myself included know what I am feeling most of the time. How can I be upfront with what I myself do not know.IP: Logged |
Junethird
Moderator Posts: 2910
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted August 04, 2012 04:56 AM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
lol i dont , i've come to realize i'm fundamentally incompatible with the world, well i guess having so much aquarius in my chart its no suprise.
Honestly when you stop focusing on the small technicalities and letting go of the utopian relationship or ways to behave with one another... Everything will start to fall in place. Embrace the postive with the negative. Embrace and expect that in the begining it will be some head games and just live your life and slowly make room for someone... Dont make someone a priority in your life if they are not willing to make you one in theirs. Woman want to be chased just as men want to be chased. We want to be adored and have our guy declare his unyielding love for us even when we f*ck up. We want to feel your passion for us. We want to know that we make your blood boil and heart swoon  aaaah happy *sigh* love. Idk, thats my take... I think i may have watched And read one too many romance movies/books... To be loved and be loved... And be passionate about your girl but it takes time to get to that point... IP: Logged |
RegardesPlatero
Moderator Posts: 4366
From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted August 04, 2012 05:39 AM
quote:
Originally posted by sand:
Love/ desire is a complex emotion. Not everyone, myself included know what I am feeling most of the time. How can I be upfront with what I myself do not know.
--amen ** And to make things even more complicated, people have different definitions of "mysterious" and different degrees to which they like that. On top of that, people who are too in-your-face can be very obnoxious and annoying, which may be off-putting. People who go too far with expressing what they want, expressing it too intensely, or expressing it too soon can also make people VERY uncomfortable. IP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 515
From: charlotte, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted August 04, 2012 06:43 AM
Men like to look, women like to think, if everything is upfront there are no small details or double entendre' to consider.IE, mysterious=depth IP: Logged |
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