posted December 21, 2012 06:48 PM            

I appreciate it when a man, woman, or child holds a door open for me, and I also hold the door open for men, women, and children.

posted December 21, 2012 07:05 PM            

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I always do, for men and dogs as well, it is just being polite.

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posted December 21, 2012 07:06 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
well where i live the girls say they want all the old fashioned chivalry and complain about the lack thereof . but then they go for the exact opposite... its all very confusing to me.

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Difficult to describe, if it is natural and not over bearing, then sure, if it is constant and a sort of fig leaf for a personal flaw then it won't fly at all.

posted December 21, 2012 07:14 PM            

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Originally posted by Padre35:
Difficult to describe, if it is natural and not over bearing, then sure, if it is constant and a sort of fig leaf for a personal flaw then it won't fly at all.

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posted December 21, 2012 07:17 PM            

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
I do it whether they like it or not. Don't like it, don't hang around myself or my sons. Polite behavior is not optional, and when my teenage son doesn't treat women with respect, I chew him out. He always open the car door for his mom, always pulls out his mom's dinner chair and always stands up and excuses himself when he leaves the table, or when his mom leaves the table. That's the way I was brought up and I won't allow any different.

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YTA, there some nuance here, a difference between familial and the public, least wise run around the parking lot opening doors for everyone.

posted December 21, 2012 07:20 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
what do you mean? lol i dont get why being chivalrous is seen as an insecurity thing, most boys are raised to be that way... if its such a bad thing why do we raise our boys to do these things? also why do women complain about the lack of chivalry yet think badly of men who are chivalrous? the world is fubar in my opinion...

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B/c when politeness is overdone one actually becomes merely polite rather than a gentleman.

It is sort of the difference between courtly behavior and individual behavior.

Chivalry, if one boils it down, comes down to focusing on a lady whom has no interest in you due to marriage or social status etc.

Politeness, when not overdone, is a sign of adult respect.

posted December 21, 2012 07:27 PM            

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
I think we should hold doors open for each other.

I appreciate it when a man, woman, or child holds a door open for me, and I also hold the door open for men, women, and children.

ETA: as for opening a door, that depends (and not on gender). For the most part I'm capable of opening my own door. However, some women love that kind of attention so don't treat your date based on what I have to say and some love it when he opens a car door for her, for example (I'll tolerate it, but when I do I think I'm perfectly capable of getting it myself).

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YAY!

My sentiments exactly!!!

I must mention, tho, I loathe having a door let slammed shut on me by a man...by a woman I can forgive, but...

posted December 21, 2012 07:42 PM            

It only becomes a problem when it is malicious.

posted December 22, 2012 12:22 AM            

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
I think we should hold doors open for each other.

I appreciate it when a man, woman, or child holds a door open for me, and I also hold the door open for men, women, and children.

ETA: as for opening a door, that depends (and not on gender). For the most part I'm capable of opening my own door. However, some women love that kind of attention so don't treat your date based on what I have to say and some love it when he opens a car door for her, for example (I'll tolerate it, but when I do I think I'm perfectly capable of getting it myself).

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posted December 22, 2012 02:12 AM            

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
I think we should hold doors open for each other.

I appreciate it when a man, woman, or child holds a door open for me, and I also hold the door open for men, women, and children.

ETA: as for opening a door, that depends (and not on gender). For the most part I'm capable of opening my own door. However, some women love that kind of attention so don't treat your date based on what I have to say and some love it when he opens a car door for her, for example (I'll tolerate it, but when I do I think I'm perfectly capable of getting it myself).

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~agreed (as well)

posted December 22, 2012 03:48 AM            

I open doors for all women. I open the car door for my wife. It may seem old-fashioned, but it is a gesture of repect and love. I expect my sons to do the same. They do.

posted December 22, 2012 04:51 AM            

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Originally posted by Ra:
I agree with YoursTrulyAlways.

I open doors for all women. I open the car door for my wife. It may seem old-fashioned, but it is a gesture of repect and love. I expect my sons to do the same. They do.

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posted December 22, 2012 07:42 AM            

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
I think we should hold doors open for each other.

I appreciate it when a man, woman, or child holds a door open for me, and I also hold the door open for men, women, and children.

ETA: as for opening a door, that depends (and not on gender). For the most part I'm capable of opening my own door. However, some women love that kind of attention so don't treat your date based on what I have to say and some love it when he opens a car door for her, for example (I'll tolerate it, but when I do I think I'm perfectly capable of getting it myself).

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Agree.

posted December 22, 2012 08:22 AM            

I'm no sping chicken and have been around the block a couple of times, so I expect to be accorded the respect.

posted December 22, 2012 08:48 AM            

Also, the south may have it's issues, but that never happened to me during the few years that I lived in Alabama. It was a usual occurrence in upstate New York (the Great Lakes region). Men (especially) would look behind them, see me carrying an infant and leading a toddler by the hand, and let the door go in my face.
I joked that they were so mean because they were angry that they were always cold.

As for car doors, my husband nearly always holds mine open. He seems hurt if I forget and open it before he can get to it.
It touches me - it's one of the ways he shows caring, consideration, and tenderness.

posted December 22, 2012 12:30 PM            

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
It's also a matter of age. It's a sign of respect. At my age, I hold doors open for 60+ year olds of both genders and children of both genders. I would venture to say that I would expect an 18 year old woman to hold the door open for me. I don't expect any woman to give up her seat for me, but I would readily do that for all women, whether normal, pregnant or handicapped.

I'm no sping chicken and have been around the block a couple of times, so I expect to be accorded the respect.

When someone my age or my wife asks my son a question, his response would be "Yes, Ma'am." Get me your homework. "Ma'am, yes Ma'am." Stand at attention when spoken to. Eyes forward. Head up. Respond immediately. Etiquette, courtesy and respect are hallmarks of upbringing. I won't accept deviance or disrespect.

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Agreed, "yes Ma'am" or "yes Sir" is simply manners and costs -0- to show such simple respect.

Now, granted this is not the Marine Corps so don't act as if a Corps Commander is speaking to oneself still and all however, imo it is very classy to do so.

Now one does not have to hold ones feet at 11 and 2 w/hands behind ones back.

That is a bit much.

posted December 22, 2012 12:34 PM            

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Originally posted by mockingbird:
I agree with many others - I hold the door open for everyone behind me.
Closing the door on a person who's directly following is so indescribably rude.

Also, the south may have it's issues, but that never happened to me during the few years that I lived in Alabama. It was a usual occurrence in upstate New York (the Great Lakes region). Men (especially) would look behind them, see me carrying an infant and leading a toddler by the hand, and let the door go in my face.
I joked that they were so mean because they were angry that they were always cold.

As for car doors, my husband nearly always holds mine open. He seems hurt if I forget and open it before he can get to it.
It touches me - it's one of the ways he shows caring, consideration, and tenderness.

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I'd also add that it shows one is paying attention.

For example before entering a place if one sees someone behind you with arm and hands obviously full, open the door, smile and say "after you of course".