posted January 16, 2013 05:53 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
It's a common bar game here in the US.

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My thought was that there was a difference between "Larry, Moe, and Curly" and listing people you actually know. And going by astrological signs, especially in a place where such is taken seriously, seems to be crossing that line. I imagine plenty of people wouldn't like to hear their sign or other placement put under the "kill" category, and the female members wouldn't likely care for the any other than "marry" (OTOH, the "F" category could be seen as desirability, and we silly females tend not to compartmentalize as much as males do and I'm sure most would want BOTH "M" and "F" category rather than being excluded from one of them or otherwise hear, "I'd marry you, but I'd bang her instead").

Still, I've mostly stayed out of it (when I went in the other day it was just to see how it was progressing, and I did laugh at the one who posted "NONE" for M/F but ALL for K). I normally do. The only time I get annoyed is when the explicit sex talk is unexpected and keeps going and going and going (and even then I can just "auto ignore" a lot of it). If I'm braced for it then I can handle it, though I'll usually just skip over it if I know that's what it's to be a thread about.

posted January 16, 2013 07:27 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
It's a common bar game here in the US.

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Exactly, it`s a bar game.

posted January 16, 2013 07:37 PM            

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted January 16, 2013 11:10 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lexxigramer:
I am very uncomfortable with the use of the word "kill"
being used as a term of playfulness.
I do not find it funny
no matter how popular it is as a game/joke, whatever.
It creeps me out just like when little kids play
and pretend to kill each other
with terribly realistic toy guns
and use murderous very un-child-like words whilst "playing" at killing.
The "which signs would you.. marry, kill, fcuk
thread is in my opinion crude, unkind, bigotry, sexist,
and well, just plain low brow and mean.
Yes I know people play such games;
but seriously;
does it belong at this supposedly spiritual/astrological site?
There has been unkind joking about aging, weight, incontinence, hairy men, breast sizes,
even one person joking about S.T.D.S. and folks dying from A.I.D.S.;
and the list goes on.
I find such talk disturbing to be posted here at where
we are supposed to be spiritual.
I also would have no objections to some threads being deleted.
Some sexual threads were obviously not meant to help/share/learn;
but to titillate;
and or well intended ones degenerated into garbage talk.
I am not the only moderator at this forum, but too often feel
I am the only one paying attention to when things go OTT.
I know several folks here think I am an old prude.
Well there is a time and place
and I do not feel LL is the place for overt sexual crudeness
and joking about killing or speaking unkindly about others in any manner.

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posted January 17, 2013 01:15 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Moonfish:
Just out of curiosity, if that's how you felt
why would you answer the thread stating every sign you would kill?

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quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
She was making a point.

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quote:

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Kill count so far

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posted January 17, 2013 02:10 AM            

For those questioning why Sweet Peas exists:

The Sweet Peas forum serves a very important function for me. It offers me an opportunity to be social with other adults who share the same interest. It is a space where I can discuss mature (and occasionally taboo) topics with others who have astrology in mind. When my friends (all of whom don't know much about astrology) and I talk about mature experiences, there are only so many times I can mention astrology, before I begin to feel I am somehow imposing a religious belief. In Sweet Peas we can discuss adult related topics in the company of peers, while discussing the astrological qualities of those topics.

A similar debate could be raised for other forums in LL. Divine Diversities for example, is a forum which often contains potentially offensive posts. The purpose of that forum isn't questioned however. There have been days I have logged into Divine Diversities and cringed at a thread title or two, but DD is not the only place on LL where that happens for me. People cross the line on any forum when we forget that respect “should” always exist in any socially common area. Personally, I don't have an issue with people discussing sex, especially in a forum which sports a big shiny disclaimer right under the link. Sex is a natural part of life and a lot of education can be gained from sharing experiences in a respectful way. If you are offended by a topic, don't click the link, or better yet click the link and share your view constructively. If before posting anything however, you get a feeling the content could be considered offensive, perhaps we should consider how important it is to post that content.

People leave LL for many reasons; conflicts with other members, being reprimanded by a moderator, adopting a perspective of astrology which includes the toasty pits of hell. It's okay that Sweet Peas isn't for everyone. It's even okay that people have left because of it. Certain public places are not always for everyone and that is especially true for those who would rather take offense, than responsibility for choosing to be where they are. I for example, have never clicked on the “Teen Spirit” room and I probably won't. Does that mean LL isn't for me? I'm still debating that...Teens are gross. =D

That being said, there is a respectful method of posting and a an abusive one. I could go into DD and make a fan fic post about Jesus and the Buddha, gay wrestling, on the back of Falcore, but the inclusion of spiritual figures doesn't automatically make my post appropriate. The same can be said about the topics in Sweet Peas. Discussing what sign is more likely to twist their genitalia into balloon animals, flirting explicitly, or discussing sexual topics in a nonconstructive way is abuse of the forum's disclaimer. The problem is not the forum though, it arises whenever people become so comfortable that they forget they are sharing space with others. Sometimes we just need to be reminded to step back, get our feet off the furniture, and be conscious of our conduct in those times. That doesn't automatically mean this forum provides any less of a service.

Thank you for addressing this issue Randall.

posted January 17, 2013 02:47 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Moonfish:
@lexx
Well that's the thing, I didn't think anyone who posted on that thread
actually wanted to kill someone.
Just curious why you participated in it,
but if was based on other ppl's cmts and trying to prove a point than my mistake

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quote:

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Originally posted by Moonfish:

but if was based on other ppl's cmts and trying to prove a point than my mistake

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posted January 17, 2013 07:39 AM            

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted January 17, 2013 08:15 AM            

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted January 17, 2013 08:42 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
I have to tell you what I hate worse that direct talk?
Indirect snipes at people, such as LEXX accusing me of deleting threads.
I hate underhanded stuff worse than any swears, the C word, the F word, anything.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
I just wanted to give my personal opinion.
I do not intend to fight with anyone about it.

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Randall please get Ami off my back.
I have done my best to avoid her.
You know she hates me.

posted January 17, 2013 09:00 AM            

quote:

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That being said, there is a respectful method of posting and a an abusive one. I could go into DD and make a fan fic post about Jesus and the Buddha, gay wrestling, on the back of Falcore, but the inclusion of spiritual figures doesn't automatically make my post appropriate. The same can be said about the topics in Sweet Peas. Discussing what sign is more likely to twist their genitalia into balloon animals, flirting explicitly, or discussing sexual topics in a nonconstructive way is abuse of the forum's disclaimer.

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Indeed!! There is abuse in other forums in the guise of hiding the intended subject behind a forum appropriate title. I humbly believe it is time for Mods to take responsibility of their forums , the rules of conduct and move forward into the new year.

Today is the first day of the rest of our lives!

posted January 17, 2013 09:12 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by juniperb:
Indeed!! There is abuse in other forums in the guise of hiding the
intended subject behind a forum appropriate title.
I humbly believe it is time for Mods to
take responsibility of their forums , the rules of conduct
and move forward into the new year.

Today is the first day of the rest of our lives!

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posted January 17, 2013 09:29 AM            

Let's get back to the topics. We are a great bunch. We, each, have our issues with certain people. That is how is is in any community. Sweet peas is great. It is not a tragedy that some threads went "over the line". If people love LL, and most people do, they will pull back and regroup.

As Juni says, "Onward and Upward"

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted January 17, 2013 01:58 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:

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I was watching him the other day on OWN. Every time I have seen his show I have to wonder if he's an actor or not.

There was a guest on who had a drinking problem and even drank first thing in the morning and "Dr. Phil" threw his hands up, exasperataed and demanded he just "STOP DRINKING!!!" Like UGH GOD! Just stop it you idiot!! My jaw dropped that that was the advice he had for this guy - clearly an addict with a problem.

The audience laughs and cheers. And he thinks he's awesome and brilliant for saying so.

I'm thinking.....is this guy for real? Telling an alcoholic to just STOP drinking?? LOL Like that's all it takes and it's as simple as that. And making him feel like a dumbazz about it. He should know better, shouldnt he?

and depending on how bad the guy's drinking problem was, he might not be able to stop now without serious health complications and even death. I had a family member who would have died had he just tried to quit cold turkey.

The guy is a friggin clown. With a huge ego to boot. He gives the worst counselling to people I have ever heard. And you can tell he doesnt really care too much about them. He's just doing his gig....horribly.....and going home, probably thinking no more about it.