posted January 20, 2013 11:19 PM            

But hey...if they're really hot...

posted January 20, 2013 11:39 PM            

I don't think I could really... do that...
T___T

I've always been the younger one... lol

I guess that's it...it's easier to be the baby then the elder child... (something like that... since I've always been the eldest daughter, having my partners be so much older has at least, usually allowed me to let my over-driven/over-focused brain slide a little into the *immaturity* zone... ^^; and the lil' vacation from being the one in full control, and having all the responsibility usually gets me quite attached to them/older partner that is...)

But, having to be the elder of a couple... that would be something... new??? but since, I haven't experienced that... I can't say how the reality would hit me. I don't think I'd enjoy it in the long run... at least not at this point in my life. (just being honest.)

I have a child, and a manchild who is older than me... more than enough to deal with and there is no real age gap (he's actually nearly 2 years elder)....

So! I'd like to just think, that if the younger person was very mature and responsible and ambitious on their own accord.... that would be hugely beneficial...

but! and it's a big one~

if I found them incapable... like not keeping up with me or their end of the deal... I feel that (I'm being very honest here so please don't take offense anyone/or feel that I'm being unfair) ----- I just feel that I'd end up being very critical of that person, and probably cut them short and off on everything very easily... Though I might not intend to be harsh.... I think my Moon-Saturn opposition isn't interested in this type of relationship for that very reason... I'm a critical, jealous, and overbearing partner as is sometimes... (maybe most times... iunno)... I have my negative traits, I know this full well....

but, the one other thing that's kept me from those relationships is a huge fear that I'm in some way taking away the time they have to live out their life, and experience the things I was/wasn't able to.... I've had to turn down some very dear friends because of this emotional guilt, and the gaps were usually moderate... but, I've made myself sick thinking this way before... that's just the god's honest truth though... I don't want to be critical of them, when they're so much younger... or be the one to place undue responsibilities and my own unattainable standards/code of ethics onto them, when I know they should be freer than all that...

yeah, no... I'm not the best at dealing with the reverse age differences... only the ones in my own favour... I'm harder on myself than on my partner then... which works out well for my opposition... and spites the venus-mars semisquare... my drive is amplified by having an elder partner... but, with a younger partner it would likely suffer... (though I'm not sure how to word it yet, this is one of my astrological dilemmas, the thing I question but haven't found any clear answer for...) But, yes, to try and explain it... curiously, I mean this as the way the aspect works natally and not in synastry... but in reflection of the relationships we are in, how those aspects can effect us so differently... without a partner I can deal with my opposition and semisquare well, but add a partner and either the one or the other will be effected positively or negatively... add synastry elements-transits and triggers and it only becomes worse/better or worse/worse... but never better/better... ugh~ karma...

(long post - sorry for it!~) natal mercury semisxt transit mercury/sun and bQ tMoon, and 'course sxt tNep~ blahhhh~! U__U;

posted January 20, 2013 11:55 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
And where would you be to be finding women that young?

It sounds like you find yourself restricted to a certain age group and I find that confusing.

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posted January 21, 2013 01:17 AM            

http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum27/HTML/000441.html

http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum27/HTML/000121.html

http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum27/HTML/000053.html

posted January 21, 2013 02:49 AM            

The best way I can imagine it is if I were to become single AND my sex drive escalated significantly (given that I'm 30 some have said that might actually happen soon). Even in this case it would be casual and pretty much only for fun & sex (though I'd be honest about it) as even in the few that age who'd intrigued me enough for me to try it would have me thinking they still had a lot of growing to do, but it's possible that from that our bonds somehow became stronger and more enduring.

posted January 21, 2013 03:23 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by sand:
Perhaps my maturity is somewhere around that age as well is why..

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posted January 21, 2013 04:25 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
I once saw a way to calculate a guy's probable maturity, though I'm vague on the details. Roughly, it was divide by 2 and add 5, so a guy who is 20 is as emotionally mature as a 15-year-old girl, a guy 40 is as mature as a 25-year-old woman. While I can think of many that this was not accurate of, I did find it eerily uncanny for a great many men. And before anyone argues, think hard on men's entertainment, from Jackass to South Park.

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posted January 21, 2013 05:18 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
i'm not trying to
be a d*ck but i never have bought that stuff about women being more emotionally mature than guys. atleast not by my standard of emotional maturity.

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I'm sure some more jokes about bodily functions can turn your frown upside down.

Even guys in their 30s (I know guys in their friggin 40s who like it!) seem to appreciate shows like Jackass (which produce multiple seasons & movies), Beavis & Butt-head, and Jay and Silent Bob (and other media popular with many guys who are even in their 30s which centers on outrageous trolling, bodily functions, puking puppets, meanness, and even nut shots). Believe it or not a chick flick isn't going to have hot babes in tight leather bypass a SOTA security system only to ruin it by loudly farting into the lasers. Offhand, here's about as immature as media aimed at women the same age normally gets (as a favor, I'm taking from a lesbian show to hopefully make it bearable):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjHDNRnfZyY

It's true that, as always, you can find an exception if you look hard enough, but one scene showing a woman struggling with diarrhea in the Sex and the City movie does not equal several seasons of Jackass. (Shows aimed at both don't really count either, and I think women who watch shows like Jerry Springer do so to feel morally superior whereas guys who watch it like the fighting & obscenities). IOW, there will NEVER be a show like this popular among women as Jackass is among men:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBp0nZYX2ao

posted January 21, 2013 05:47 AM            

I used to find that stuff funny...up until I was roughly 10 (I remember hating "grosser than gross jokes" by age 10, too). It stayed a little amusing through my teens, though when I liked South Park it was for something other than its toilet humor (that is, I overlooked it more often than enjoyed it in favor of the wittier parts). So enjoying that does strike me as immature because most females grow past that. (ETA: of course we retain a sense of humor, just a more mature one than falling for fart jokes and Jackass stunts...well, most of the time.)

posted January 21, 2013 06:19 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
yes...alot of men have a vulgar sense of humor (me included) , i dont think that makes us immature. as i said i think its all a matter of perception, i personally think popular womens shows are stupid,especially greys anatomy.

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I'm in season 6 I think. I just don't have time to watch the latest one. Meredith is such a babe. Scorpio Pisces. Issues. Like that.

posted January 21, 2013 06:20 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
^^

I used to find that stuff funny...up until I was roughly 10 (I remember hating "grosser than gross jokes" by age 10, too). It stayed a little amusing through my teens, though when I liked South Park it was for something other than its toilet humor (that is, I overlooked it more often than enjoyed it in favor of the wittier parts). So enjoying that does strike me as immature because most females grow past that.

As you say, it's a matter of perception.

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posted January 21, 2013 07:37 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by SaturnineMoth:
@ AG~ *pout* ---nahhhhh~!

Sorry but, men cry and sulk into old age too... (I've seen men from age 30-110 cry and sulk many times... thank you very much! And, I don't mean because they were getting a catheter put in or needed that laxative and enema treatment, either.)

So, some men hold their tears back, or keep their emotions bottled up...

How does that make them anymore mature than the old woman crying and pouting in her rocker???

We all come into this world raging with emotions, and we all leave the same way, this is the human experience... you know?! (like Dylan Thomas's, "Do Not Go Gently..." poem)

/some/ women openly deal with their emotions and accept them, so?

/most/ men live in denial and fear of theirs by contrast...

so, who is more mature???

emotions are what separate us from the other beasts on this planet, we can love, we can hurt each other without even laying our fingers on each other... we're unique in this... get it???

the lack of expressing emotions... though I do not know the statistics ~ I'm sure someone can easily find them... is one of the major causes in developement of mental illness/anxieties, especially as we age... being conditioned to withhold them, to deny them... that stuff eats at a persons' psyche... of course there are repercussions, there always are when we deny our bodies what they need... emotional outlets and validation are necessities too, just as acceptance is part of that primitive drive... this I strongly believe... after being on both ends of the mental health dilemma...

And, (as I have seen it, time and time again) when you are an "old man" with 65-72 years of pent up sorrow, anger, hurt, disappointment... guess what... you're no more emotionally "mature" than that 13 year old girl crying because she was just passed over by her crush for the prettier girl in class..

It's like this quote - from a reasonably "crude humoured" animated movie explains...

"...people who let themselves cry when they're hurting...
...are often stronger than the people who try to hold all their pain inside." Eleanor Duvall, Eight Crazy Nights

To the topic~~~~~~~~ more or less:
~___~ emotional maturity has not played such a large role in of my "age gap" relationships...

The largest gap was 17 years my senior... the normal gap is between 6-10 years older. for me. what that says if anything for emotional maturity... I don't know, and I probably wouldn't agree with it anyway. lol I've never been emotionally secure, I'm Sat opp Moon, no doubt that is why... I have a habit of hiding away my emotions, though I can put on a very believable mask of apathy (Apatheia cnj sun)... I still consider myself easily disturbed and very fragile when it comes to criticism from friends/family and rejection from lovers... but, they'd usually never guess how badly... because it's a hidden issue...

I do not THINK for one instance that this makes me more mature... so yeah... it says little for my emotional or intellectual maturity, in these large age gap relations... if anything else it shows that I am defensive and deceptive (although not really intentionally so)... it's a flaw that I've come to accept, and begun to deal with... slowly... by being more emotionally expressive and not less! So, to me it only shows that I relate and enjoy better the company of my elders, and that I generally find older men/women more attractive... (Eros-Saturn exact cnj 3h Scorpio)

Either way I don't agree with your statement that there is a connection between a woman being more emotionally expressive and her emotional maturity level being less than that of a man who is the opposite... or vs/vs... if that were the case...

The bottom line is - nobody can call themselves emotionally mature if they do not experience emotion. being detached, and isolated, and alien to the full spectrum of human emotions, including being vulnerable... are part of being emotionally mature.... being human....

Isn't that how it should be???

(anyway no sleep in over a day here~! I hope I was able to communicate properly! haha) I'm not much for debating, but I do feel that in this case... something was being missed... so, wanted to contribute to the

overall discussion... though I likely won't follow up on it! XD (mutables) ~__~ I apologize! ORZ

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