Lindaland
  Sweet Peas In The Rain
  am i the only one who gets annoyed by all the pop positivity? (Page 1)

Post New Topic  Post A Reply
profile | register | preferences | faq

UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone!
This topic is 3 pages long:   1  2  3 
next newest topic | next oldest topic
Author Topic:   am i the only one who gets annoyed by all the pop positivity?
aquaguy91
Moderator

Posts: 6345
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012

posted March 25, 2013 05:53 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
maybe its my saturn influence rearing its head but I despise all the "power of positive thinking" stuff. I see right through all of it and dont buy it for a second.

IP: Logged

aquaguy91
Moderator

Posts: 6345
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012

posted March 25, 2013 06:23 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Disclaimer: I'm not advocating bad attitudes nor do I think having a good attitude is a bad thing, in fact I think its great to feel good. I take issue with the notion that your attitude "creates your reality". At the end of the day we are products of our enviroments. if good things are happening in your life you are going to feel positive and if you going through tough times you wont feel as positive.

IP: Logged

Lexxigramer
Moderator

Posts: 2019
From: The Etheric Realms...Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat...& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Feb 2012

posted March 25, 2013 07:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lexxigramer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yeah I see it as the big denial thing at times.
It reminds me of the acronym:
SNAFU=Situation normal/all f'd up.
Positive thinking does not automatically make things A-OK.

Or the old saying:
"If wishes were horses,
beggars would ride."

IP: Logged

mockingbird
Knowflake

Posts: 1425
From:
Registered: Dec 2011

posted March 25, 2013 08:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for mockingbird     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I dunno.

I think to a certain extent life is between 20-%50% percent what happens to you and 50%-80% how you take it (excepting horrors like genocide, war, andfamine).

------------------
If I've included this sig, it's because I'm posting from a mobile device.
Please excuse all outrageous typos and confusing auto-corrects.

IP: Logged

SaturnineMoth
Knowflake

Posts: 2111
From: Gaea's Omphalos
Registered: Aug 2012

posted March 25, 2013 08:57 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for SaturnineMoth     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
~ too each their own.

By any and all accounts - I should be in the doldrums, wading in a cesspool of misery, lamenting all my losses. (I'm not recounting all the foul ups and horrible things that have befallen me in the past year or even the last several.)

But, I'm not, not now, and not going to let that happen. There's something to be said for a realistic optimism, and a positive view on life, can be far more real than when one embraces only negative realities. There can be said something for those who only accept their own viewpoint as realistic or real too of course.

I've always loved Shakespeare's "nothing is good nor bad... but thinking makes it so", there's nothing wrong with wallowing in sadness, it can help someone find the light, and strength later in life if they don't let it swallow them in. But, there's also nothing wrong with people who live life with a gaiety ever present within themselves... after all - who are you to say they haven't already done their wallowing? What makes someone else the judge over what is real to another??? Last time I checked being overly joyful, and positive never hurt anyone else, (it may be taken as foolishness, but fools aren't truly hurt, they're fools after all)? Happiness and laughter are contagious, delights should be shared, they were meant to be shared.

Misery seeking company, spreading sorrow~ fatalism, and melodrama... feeding upon those energies is far more destructive and counterproductive to empowering a person, and improving their environment.

If it wasn't so - why would there be so much success in therapy groups that often use positive thinking/reinforcement to overcome those very negatives? How come doctors and life coaches don't go around preaching how "being doom-fearing, and ever-pessimistic, being "real", will make you better", at their meetings/presentations?

I've got a good deal of Saturn in me, friends... "Saturnine" - but, if it is my crutch it is so because it made me stronger. You can't possibly know the lowest of lows some of those (if not all) of the positive-thinkers have gone through in order to reach their level of happiness. And, you certainly don't know mine.

Positive thinking, happiness, laughter, a good attitude to everyone, and love for yourself can and does /change/ lives.

And, in a world full of reality-in-your-face bad news (TV/NET/RADIO/every community and nearly every family), and constant loss, and "no hope" mentality spreading far and wide, where more and more of the population across each continent has seen a rise in everyday Joes/Janes seeking counseling and therapy for severe anxiety and depression, positive thinking, and guidance, and support from those helpful sources, are more needed, more necessary than ever.

I would rather come to the end of the day and think, "have I made anyone happy today?" than reach the end of the day and ask, "who did I make miserable today/how miserable am I today".

So if that person/people go out of their way to share their optimism and good attitude towards life with you, isn't that a lot better for you and them than going out of their way to ignore, or indulge you with their own bitterness and sorrowful personality and problems? After they do the latter, it has only made the negative person's attitude and perception on life and others even more negative... so, I would think... and strongly feel... the first is a far better attitude to have....

In closing, I know I'm extremely guilty of exactly this behavior you are speaking against, and I will not be apologizing for it any time soon. It's changed my life,and it can change yours too. Love and Joy are powerful. They need to be nurtured in everyone, and it is not an easy crop to maintain, but the point is - some of us try - and we're not hurting anyone by doing so.

"My manner of thinking, so you say, cannot be approved. Do you suppose I care? A poor fool indeed is he who adopts a manner of thinking for others!" - Marquis de Sade

IP: Logged

lilithpluto
Knowflake

Posts: 1825
From: pluto
Registered: Dec 2011

posted March 25, 2013 09:09 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for lilithpluto     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I am the first to admit I am not always positive but I try to advocate positive feelings/attitude/thinking because I know negativities is as contagious as positivities. Especially if one is in the management position or if there is vasted interest in promoting positive attitudes - we can't have the team-spirit collapsing because of negativities.. We can be angry/fustrated about certain circumstances and situations but it should never be such that our attitude hinders our progress and problem solving capabilities. When one dwells on the negativities, and if he lost focus on what is important (bottomlines), his brain may not be focused on getting things solved.

We are what we think; we are the result of our thoughts. Even if there is no vasted interest in encouraging positive attitude, we shuld still persit - I don't know if you have ever feel the happiness when you encourage a depressed dejected person... when we are discouraged ourselves, the best way to get out of it is to encourage others... especially when there is no other short term routes for him.

I also believe in prayers as they are always positive. A prayer before sleep and when prayer when one is awake gets the subconscious mind programmed on the positivities. My intentions for always trying my best to focus on the positive is for selfish reasons - i want the best for myself, maximise my potential to the ultimate and if it takes being positive to achieve it, i will do it. Being positive has nothing got to do with not being aware of the pitholes of the situation/argument - I am aware but I don't need to broadcast it unless it solves my problem.

Okie... don't dislike me but just sharing.

IP: Logged

Stawr
Moderator

Posts: 2292
From: N. America
Registered: Nov 2010

posted March 25, 2013 10:05 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Stawr     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I am starting to try to think more positively.

My sister use to annoy me about being more positive. My sister even will say things like "I started to get less headaches when I started to think more positive thoughts."
And other people that have said things about being more positive is the way to go. And yes I would say "but isn't that denial? I don't want to be in denial."

I had a deep talk with my sister on Saturday, about how my worries and insecurities are blowing things out of proportion.

After the week I had, I am willing to try it. And things have been better cause of my choices.

Though I haven't been doing this long, it does make me feel better, and I feel a little bit more in control.
Like yeah things are not going exactly my way now, but there is always next time.

I was/am? More likely to think "expect the wost, hope for the best"
But expecting the wost has been quite damaging on my psych lately...I don't think it's healthy for people to be in a mental state of being defeated. Not very productive.

IP: Logged

somethingexcellent
Knowflake

Posts: 792
From: walking with my head in the clouds!
Registered: Nov 2012

posted March 25, 2013 10:42 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for somethingexcellent     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thins are what they are. I personally don't mind wallowing in self pity for a bit, but I also don't mind grabbing life by the neck and forcing it my way too. There's a balance for me.

IP: Logged

Lexxigramer
Moderator

Posts: 2019
From: The Etheric Realms...Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat...& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Feb 2012

posted March 25, 2013 10:45 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lexxigramer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Positive thinking can work on things you can change or things you can accept and live with.
edited:
Deleted my long gloomy post.

IP: Logged

starfairy
Knowflake

Posts: 717
From:
Registered: Jul 2010

posted March 25, 2013 02:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for starfairy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by SaturnineMoth:
~ too each their own.

By any and all accounts - I should be in the doldrums, wading in a cesspool of misery, lamenting all my losses. (I'm not recounting all the foul ups and horrible things that have befallen me in the past year or even the last several.)

But, I'm not, not now, and not going to let that happen. There's something to be said for a realistic optimism, and a positive view on life, can be far more real than when one embraces only negative realities. There can be said something for those who only accept their own viewpoint as realistic or real too of course.

I've always loved Shakespeare's "nothing is good nor bad... but thinking makes it so", there's nothing wrong with wallowing in sadness, it can help someone find the light, and strength later in life if they don't let it swallow them in. But, there's also nothing wrong with people who live life with a gaiety ever present within themselves... after all - who are you to say they haven't already done their wallowing? What makes someone else the judge over what is real to another??? Last time I checked being overly joyful, and positive never hurt anyone else, (it may be taken as foolishness, but fools aren't truly hurt, they're fools after all)? Happiness and laughter are contagious, delights should be shared, they were meant to be shared.

Misery seeking company, spreading sorrow~ fatalism, and melodrama... feeding upon those energies is far more destructive and counterproductive to empowering a person, and improving their environment.

If it wasn't so - why would there be so much success in therapy groups that often use positive thinking/reinforcement to overcome those very negatives? How come doctors and life coaches don't go around preaching how "being doom-fearing, and ever-pessimistic, being "real", will make you better", at their meetings/presentations?

I've got a good deal of Saturn in me, friends... "Saturnine" - but, if it is my crutch it is so because it made me stronger. You can't possibly know the lowest of lows some of those (if not all) of the positive-thinkers have gone through in order to reach their level of happiness. And, you certainly don't know mine.

Positive thinking, happiness, laughter, a good attitude to everyone, and love for yourself can and does /change/ lives.

And, in a world full of reality-in-your-face bad news (TV/NET/RADIO/every community and nearly every family), and constant loss, and "no hope" mentality spreading far and wide, where more and more of the population across each continent has seen a rise in everyday Joes/Janes seeking counseling and therapy for severe anxiety and depression, positive thinking, and guidance, and support from those helpful sources, are more needed, more necessary than ever.

I would rather come to the end of the day and think, "have I made anyone happy today?" than reach the end of the day and ask, "who did I make miserable today/how miserable am I today".

So if that person/people go out of their way to share their optimism and good attitude towards life with you, isn't that a lot better for you and them than going out of their way to ignore, or indulge you with their own bitterness and sorrowful personality and problems? After they do the latter, it has only made the negative person's attitude and perception on life and others even more negative... so, I would think... and strongly feel... the first is a far better attitude to have....

In closing, I know I'm extremely guilty of exactly this behavior you are speaking against, and I will not be apologizing for it any time soon. It's changed my life,and it can change yours too. Love and Joy are powerful. They need to be nurtured in everyone, and it is not an easy crop to maintain, but the point is - some of us try - and we're not hurting anyone by doing so.

"My manner of thinking, so you say, cannot be approved. Do you suppose I care? A poor fool indeed is he who adopts a manner of thinking for others!" - Marquis de Sade


I agree with you 100% on this.

I tend to stay away from negative people; they suck the energy out of me!

IP: Logged

YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake

Posts: 5090
From:
Registered: Oct 2011

posted March 25, 2013 04:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for YoursTrulyAlways     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm not exactly on board with the concept of power behind positive thinking either.

I base myself on the power of practical thinking based on real life experience and common sense.

In fact, I get paid.. and handsomely too.. in real life to abate risk and say "No" and "Declined" to whatever is questionable, refutable or lacks corroborative evidence.

IP: Logged

Hera
Knowflake

Posts: 5632
From: Aries fantasy land ^_^
Registered: Sep 2010

posted March 25, 2013 04:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hera     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Once it starts to work for you, it becomes less annoying.

IP: Logged

Padre35
Knowflake

Posts: 1435
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012

posted March 25, 2013 04:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Padre35     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

No, not at all, the alternative is to not see life as opportunities but as a never ending series of unfortunate events.

To me, negativity is a sign of mental weakness and lack of positive ego.

IP: Logged

Ami Anne
Moderator

Posts: 40351
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted March 25, 2013 05:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I hate it AQ. It is so annoying!

------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal


http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/

IP: Logged

aquaguy91
Moderator

Posts: 6345
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012

posted March 25, 2013 05:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Padre35:

No, not at all, the alternative is to not see life as opportunities but as a never ending series of unfortunate events.

To me, negativity is a sign of mental weakness and lack of positive ego.



this is where you and i differ greatly in opinions . Having a negative attitude is not weak, giving up is weak. And having a negative attitude doesnt always mean you have given up. I have read lots of combat memoirs of soldiers and they all have said the same things. All these guys were fully expecting to never make it back home and were constantly stressed and scared, some nearly lost their sanity and lost complete faith in humanity and/or God, but they never gave up and kept fighting and to me that is true courage. if you have a realistic attitude and know that you might fail miserably but you still try your best anyway you are mentally tough in my book.

IP: Logged

YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake

Posts: 5090
From:
Registered: Oct 2011

posted March 25, 2013 06:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for YoursTrulyAlways     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Having a realistic attitude allows you to step back, evaluate and assess the situation. No sense attacking the insurmountable, even if you have the most positive attitude. Pressing forth isn't always the right solution.

Sun Tzu. The Art of War.

IP: Logged

Padre35
Knowflake

Posts: 1435
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012

posted March 25, 2013 06:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Padre35     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Having a realistic attitude allows you to step back, evaluate and assess the situation. No sense attacking the insurmountable, even if you have the most positive attitude. Pressing forth isn't always the right solution.

Sun Tzu. The Art of War.


Complete Objectivity is a fine trait to have, however, when it becomes a self limiting belief it is counter productive and imo, mentally weak.

It's fine to say "no" in fact many situations require a "no", however when you tell yourself "no" all of the time then one is merely negative and unlikely to be productive or creative imvho.

IP: Logged

T
Knowflake

Posts: 8887
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted March 25, 2013 06:24 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for T     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Padre35:

To me, negativity is a sign of mental weakness and lack of positive ego.

Sometimes people need to go through extended periods of negativity to come out stronger in the long run. I really don't like the idea of smothering out, or hosing down anger or negativity like you would a fire. Sometimes the whole house needs to burn down in order to truly start anew.

IP: Logged

YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake

Posts: 5090
From:
Registered: Oct 2011

posted March 25, 2013 06:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for YoursTrulyAlways     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It is massively weak to convert a Can-Do attitude into a Must-Do. .

JP Morgan, the legend, said: We're identified as much as the business we don't do as much as the business that we do. Look at how sh1t perverted JP Morgan the bank is now.

Going full steam ahead into a brick wall demonstrates a lack of character and common sense.

I decline one-third of the business that comes by my office.

IP: Logged

Padre35
Knowflake

Posts: 1435
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012

posted March 25, 2013 06:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Padre35     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by T:
Sometimes people need to go through extended periods of negativity to come out stronger in the long run. I really don't like the idea of smothering out, or hosing down anger or negativity like you would a fire. Sometimes the whole house needs to burn down in order to truly start anew.

Oh absolutely, some situations just do not need to be extended, it is counter productive to all involved.

The difference is, it does take a positive frame of mind to leave the comfortable in sake of embracing the unknown and potentially better, situation.

I've seen countless people trap themselves all the time...

IP: Logged

Padre35
Knowflake

Posts: 1435
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012

posted March 25, 2013 06:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Padre35     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
It is massively weak to convert a Can-Do attitude into a Must-Do. .

JP Morgan, the legend, said: We're identified as much as the business we don't do as much as the business that we do. Look at how sh1t perverted JP Morgan the bank is now.

Going full steam ahead into a brick wall demonstrates a lack of character and common sense.

I decline one-third of the business that comes by my office.


And Henry Ford said: "whether you think you can or not, you are probably right"

To quote Sun Tzu, when your back is to the sea and your sides are against the mtns, you are death ground.

IE, failure is not an option in such situations, that sort of mental rigor is rare to find in people, the ones who have become wildly successful.

IP: Logged

YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake

Posts: 5090
From:
Registered: Oct 2011

posted March 25, 2013 06:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for YoursTrulyAlways     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
No race is ever won by going flat out from the starting line and full speed around every corner. At a minimum, you will eventually spin out.

You are a cyclist. It may be alright to take a 60 mph descent at times, but not on a single lane mountain road strewn with pebbles and with a fresh drizzle.

IP: Logged

T
Knowflake

Posts: 8887
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted March 25, 2013 06:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for T     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well, yes. You don't want to get stuck there obviously. But not not allow yourself time to sort out the negative first either and hopefully make your own peace with it at some point. Because it will rear it's head later on if you don't.

IP: Logged

Padre35
Knowflake

Posts: 1435
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012

posted March 25, 2013 06:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Padre35     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
No race is ever won by going flat out from the starting line and full speed around every corner. At a minimum, you will eventually spin out.

You are a cyclist. It may be alright to take a 60 mph descent at times, but not on a single lane mountain road strewn with pebbles and with a fresh drizzle.


Happens all of the time, blind curves as well, sometimes you just accept that risk and don't think about it.

I live in the WNC Mtns, snow, rain, hail, suck it up trooper no one wants to hear you complain so why bother, find the bright side of it.

IP: Logged

YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake

Posts: 5090
From:
Registered: Oct 2011

posted March 25, 2013 06:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for YoursTrulyAlways     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
No one is talking about having backs against walls. The competent ones never have their backs against walls because they would have strategerized like W Bush.

I abate risk for a living. I live on the efficiency frontier between risk and reward.

IP: Logged


This topic is 3 pages long:   1  2  3 

All times are Eastern Standard Time

next newest topic | next oldest topic

Administrative Options: Close Topic | Archive/Move | Delete Topic
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
Hop to:

Contact Us | Linda-Goodman.com

Copyright 2000-2013

Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000
Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.46a