posted April 13, 2013 08:54 PM            

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REvmhBO99I4

Not sure, I guess you just have a remarkable ability to pick them. I knew another guy who could always find the "backstabbing ***** " (much like his mom who hurt him bad and allowed others to hurt him) and thought all women were and yet he'd only find women like that. Interesting enough a friend of mine was so sweet she was called "Angel" until tragedy made her fall hard and become (for a time) exactly as he saw women, and though I don't see how he could've consciously noticed it he suddenly found her attractive and went after her and got treated badly as he was used to. Don't know why (and I really would like to know!) but I suppose it's no different from the women who always hook up with men who use and abuse them and then say all men are that way (while the men who aren't are invisible to them).

posted April 13, 2013 09:17 PM            

What changed?

Also, that girl might have thought "hook up" meant meet up and go out somewhere. If I guy said that to me the first time we talked - especially over the internet, I'd assume he meant go out together, not mean hook our genitals up. And if he did mean that, I'd think he was nuts and run away. Usually sex hook-ups like that tend to just happen. People don't come out and ask like you would ask someone on a date. "Hey there, I know we've only seen pictures of each other over the net, but want to get together to have sex?" I can't imagine that is as common as you make it out to be, even with younger people. Hook-ups like that usually happen after a date if the two are so inclined.

quote:

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I guess I'm feeling really disillusioned by the shallowness in the world.It seems that looks are the only thing that matter to most men and women these days. intelligence,kindness,sense of humor,who needs that stuff?

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I'm sorry you see the world (females in particular) through those filters. It probably has a lot to do with the women role models you grew up with that you have spoken about here before.

& for you, I don't think internet dating is the way to go.

posted April 13, 2013 09:22 PM            

quote:

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I feel like when people are desperate to find a mate they wreak of it.
That kinda turns off people because they can sense it.
You should not make romance a priority in your life if thats what youre doing.
Its first of all depressing and disappointing.
Relationships just come to you when you least expect it, love is strange like that.

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Agree 100%
especially the parts i bolded.

posted April 13, 2013 11:20 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by T:

Also, that girl might have thought "hook up" meant meet up and go out somewhere. If I guy said that to me the first time we talked - especially over the internet, I'd assume he meant go out together, not mean hook our genitals up. And if he did mean that, I'd think he was nuts and run away. Usually sex hook-ups like that tend to just happen. People don't come out and ask like you would ask someone on a date. "Hey there, I know we've only seen pictures of each other over the net, but want to get together to have sex?" I can't imagine that is as common as you make it out to be, even with younger people. Hook-ups like that usually happen after a date if the two are so inclined.

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Actually, its quite common these days.

Somehow people think dating sites are a good source for finding people to sleep with and no string attached and often dont want time on too much chatting or dating.

I even heard of a case of people who didnt even look at pictures and were just willing to take anyone who answered to bed.

posted April 14, 2013 12:11 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Xiiro:
I feel there is a lot of good advise here. This isn't something recently happening to this world, it's part of human nature.

There is nothing wrong with wanting a guy who is interested in you AND who also has above average looks. In fact, it is not above some women to pursue a physical relationship with the hope that romance will develop.

The truth is, online dating is like selling yourself on ebay. If someone is in the market for a partner, of course they are going to look at the products with the flashy packaging before they are going to read the nice blurb on the average looking product. The 7th house is ruled by Libra because it isn't a deep energy.

I have more but have to go. brb

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posted April 14, 2013 01:55 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I understand and agree with all of that and i'm not an exception to the rule, i notice pretty girls as much as the next guy. However theres alot more to a person then their looks imo. As an example I may find a girl very attractive but if she has a bland personality, is bat scat crazy, or dumb i will lose the attraction for her. It seems like people are getting too looks obsessed and dont pay any mind to the other stuff.

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Back, sorry for the half response.

And as an Aquarius I wouldn't expect any other perspective. Capacity for comprehending humanity is one of the many things I find so beautiful about the sign. I think the problem is, a wise man doesn't open a carrot stand in a meat market and complain that all people are interested in buying is meat. If you want people to be interested in you as a person, then the best place to meet them isn't digital window shopping.

One of the best pieces of advice I read on this thread was the suggestion of meeting people out in the world. The internet is too safe a mask to hide behind, even for those who just chat on forums. Just like you mentioned, it is possible to find a person extremely hot only to have it all lain to waste by their personality. The same is true about meeting people we don't think are alphas and then learning to find the alpha in them. If the body is forced to make a quick decision it will always choose the biologically/genetically sound option (hot guy, big muscles, stupid enough to be emotionally manipulated). Several studies have been done about this and a person's attractions can change instantaneously when things as shallow as income and penis size are revealed. The changes do not happen because people are shallow, it happens because they are being asked to make a shallow decision (similar to deciding to date a person based on a picture and a untrustworthy summary of their personality).

(Grabs SOAP Box) Society raises us to believe that we are flawed if we do not partner, that the urges caused by our DNA's desire to progress, are fundamental to our being a whole person. Wholeness however, is not found externally and as it was suggested earlier in this thread, desperation to find wholeness in others clings to a person like a bad smell. I understand this too well, because I was too frightened of being rejected in public so I confined myself to meeting people online. Because I am so much more than a picture and a summary AND because I was so (unwittingly) desperate to be loved, I never received responses either. It dawned on me a while ago that I would have to go out to places where the focus surrounded a common interests of mine, in order to meet others who liked me for me. Because I am tossing around the idea of becoming a monk again, I pushed that adventure to the side. Last weekend I did however join a friend for a vegan cooking class and got severely hit on by the hot farmer who supplied the vegges for the class. I love organic gardening so we talked at length about gardening techniques and he invited me up to tour his farm.

Point being, I wasn't even trying and I made more progress finding a quality person in 3 hours than I had in 3 years online. The internet is an insubstantial space, focused on instant gratification, and filled with people pretending to be whoever they can, without threat of physical harm or exposure. You can't judge the world accurately based on how it behaves in that space.

No bars
No clubs
No dating sites

Yes college classes
Yes special interest gatherings
Yes places where you can feel socially comfortable or at least socially equipped to interact honestly with others.

It is easy to form hypotheses from a controlled and untouchable space, but that is one major lesson the internet brings as the harbinger of the Aquarian Age. Life is only observed from an observation deck, not experienced.

=)

posted April 14, 2013 03:50 AM            

For every female on a dating site there are approx 2-3 males. So there is a distribution problem.

Its more of a issue of where your "fishing". Obviously women on a dating site would be shallow that shouldn't come as a surprise.

But, if you were a thesis student you would more likely encounter someone who would appreciate the way you think and less about looks.

AG,

posted April 14, 2013 07:31 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Odette:
Aqua - the way you're expressing yourself in this thread.. I am starting to think you are demisexual as well.

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What is demisexual? I have not read the whole thread,so forgive me if someone explained it.

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted April 14, 2013 07:58 AM            

The 12th House planets trump the chart for difficulty imo. They need special attention as the person is kind of turned inward. The person has to somehow come out of the inward stance which is kind of a circling and re-cycling in himself. Then, he can face forward and see things in a clearer manner.

I am NOT recommending myself, so please don't take it like this but my practice seems to be evolving into my doing counseling but I have the chart as the template. I don't know who counselors really can even counsel without the chart. I do handwriting analysis too, which has been my hobby since I was 12. So, with both of these tools, I have the blueprint of the person. Then, I have God. Without Him, all the best tools in the world won't work. That is my 2 cents and my opinion. I know other people will differ and that is cool.

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted April 14, 2013 09:22 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Looking in the wrong places, my friend. Looking for the wrong kind. That's my opinion.

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Ian I have a question for you in GU. I will write it now. xx

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted April 14, 2013 10:17 AM            

try e-harmony, they do a personality test apparently and only let those who they think would 'match' each other contact one another...and pictures aren't always included. though the person i know who got married through it, almost quit after 3 'failed' dates...and the one when she decided 'am quitting, but going on this one anyway' ended up marrying her later.

posted April 14, 2013 04:37 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
Women sense desperation like a dog smells a T-bone in your shirt pocket. When you get to the point that you just don't care about approval, you will start being attractive. It's the LOA in reverse. I call it the LOR (Law Of Repelling). Which, interestingly enough, is the reason many people have no success with LOA. LOR cancels out LOA. Women do care about looks initially, but not in the same way that men do. Men are very visual. Women ultimately tend to go more for how a guy makes them feel. Yes, men are superficial. Yes, women have more depth than men. Men have larger brains, but womens' brains are more efficient. Men and women are different. Imagine that. That's neither a good thing nor a bad thing. It simply is what it is.

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True, they do smell that - though, the Law of Attraction applies even here - if we're to take in consideration the principles involved.

Short story: wrong mood... wrong attitude... and that attracts negativism.

posted April 14, 2013 05:06 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
Women sense desperation like a dog smells a T-bone in your shirt pocket. When you get to the point that you just don't care about approval, you will start being attractive. It's the LOA in reverse. I call it the LOR (Law Of Repelling). Which, interestingly enough, is the reason many people have no success with LOA. LOR cancels out LOA. Women do care about looks initially, but not in the same way that men do. Men are very visual. Women ultimately tend to go more for how a guy makes them feel. Yes, men are superficial. Yes, women have more depth than men. Men have larger brains, but womens' brains are more efficient. Men and women are different. Imagine that. That's neither a good thing nor a bad thing. It simply is what it is.

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This is telling it like it is. Sad but true about human nature

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted April 14, 2013 05:44 PM            

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted April 14, 2013 06:59 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by 7thGuardian:
True, they do smell that - though, the Law of Attraction applies even here - if we're to take in consideration the principles involved.

Short story: wrong mood... wrong attitude... and that attracts negativism.

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That's why those of us who have told you to "let it go" have done so.

It's not to be coarse, but because focusing on other things, developing other parts of yourself, will ultimately benefit even this area of your life.

posted April 14, 2013 07:53 PM            

quote:

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Ami Anne: What is demisexual? I have not read the whole thread,so forgive me if someone explained it.

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Demisexual is one of the many sexualities - in this case, a demisexual person does not feel sexual attraction until a strong emotional bond is formed.

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Padre35: Hmm, imo AG is good looking gentleman, thing is he has that beard covering his jaw line, dresses like a "dude", and maybe is carrying a bit to much weight

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posted April 14, 2013 08:03 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Odette:
Aqua - the way you're expressing yourself in this thread.. I am starting to think you are demisexual as well.

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posted April 14, 2013 08:26 PM            

quote:

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It seems that looks are the only thing that matter to most men and women these days.

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You saying this confuses me.
I don't think it is the -only- thing, but it does seem to be an important consideration for most people.

My impression was that this is just normal ^
That generally animals/male/female etc.. would be sexually attracted based on the physical looks of the other.

This is why when they define asexuality or demisexuality - they explain that the sexual attraction is simply non-existent based on appearance (and in the case of asexuals it is just non-existent period). That is what is supposed to define these forms of sexuality -- as distinct from the -norm-... so the -norm- is presumed to be "looks are important!"

The fact that you are so disappointed in the situation -- makes me think you are not completely sexualy-typical.. because if you *were* then you would understand why these people feel the way they do. Because you would think *like* them.

But your reaction is - "How come everyone only cares about looks these days?" - This was always my reaction throughout HS and my early 20s... because I didn't completely understand how other people *worked*.
Because for me it does not work this way.

But if you weren't demisexual - then you should have an instinctual understanding of WHY people care about looks. Don't you think so?

Am I way off here?