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Author Topic:   What has happened to this world?
aquaguy91
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Posts: 6524
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012

posted April 13, 2013 03:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have been on okcupid for a few months and I havent had any luck. If I send 50 well thought out messages i might get 5 responses if im lucky and those never lead to anything. I see all these girls and their profiles say the same thing basically "I want a guy who wants more than a hook-up" or "dont message me if your only gonna say wuts up babe or hey sexy" yet I send well thought out messages and never get any responses. I'm an average looking guy ,far from ugly but not the best looking either , but i get nothing.apparently average is the new ugly lmao. Anyways a few days ago I decided to do an experiment.With my friends permission, I borrowed his photo and put it on my profile. My friend is what most people consider a good looking guy and has lots of success with girls and it wasnt a suprise when i started getting responses after I put up his picture. However what was suprising and upsetting was the fact that the girls didnt seem to care about anything but the looks of the guy in my picture. I started sending the kind of messages that all the girls on okcupid claim to hate,I said "sup babe?" and i got responses!! and here's the icing on the cake, I sent a girl a message asking her if she would be down for a hook-up and she said yes, and this was the first message I had sent her. Also she was one of the girls who said she didnt do hook-ups on her profile. I guess I'm feeling really disillusioned by the shallowness in the world.It seems that looks are the only thing that matter to most men and women these days. intelligence,kindness,sense of humor,who needs that stuff?

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doommlord
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Posts: 2106
From: israel
Registered: Dec 2011

posted April 13, 2013 03:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for doommlord     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
women lie. women can be shallow.

but dont lose faith....since as you see yourself people like you come to those types of sites so it means that the girl for you is out there just very hard to find

lol i have dealt with a similiar thing but i dont think its the place to discuss this...

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Padre35
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Posts: 1656
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012

posted April 13, 2013 03:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Padre35     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

Oh AG

It's not shallowness alone, what one should understand is no women wants to put it on front street that she is DTF.

That would be crude, and women rarely do crude...in public

Men ain't saints either, we do the same stuff, just in different categories, insecurities drive the vast majority of people to the point of silliness.

IMO AG, huge mistake putting up your friends' pic, that is weak, and it smells imo

Upgrade your profile, talk about positive things in your life, and find women who like you for you, not for some deception. For you my friend, deception doesn't fit, even in romance..just be yourself..but be the best "you" that you can be.

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aquaguy91
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Posts: 6524
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012

posted April 13, 2013 03:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
^ yea i know , it seems like everyone lies now.. Its hard to seperate the wheat from the chafe and the real people from the phonies.

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Ami Anne
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Posts: 40755
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted April 13, 2013 03:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I have been on okcupid for a few months and I havent had any luck. If I send 50 well thought out messages i might get 5 responses if im lucky and those never lead to anything. I see all these girls and their profiles say the same thing basically "I want a guy who wants more than a hook-up" or "dont message me if your only gonna say wuts up babe or hey sexy" yet I send well thought out messages and never get any responses. I'm an average looking guy ,far from ugly but not the best looking either , but i get nothing.apparently average is the new ugly lmao. Anyways a few days ago I decided to do an experiment.With my friends permission, I borrowed his photo and put it on my profile. My friend is what most people consider a good looking guy and has lots of success with girls and it wasnt a suprise when i started getting responses after I put up his picture. However what was suprising and upsetting was the fact that the girls didnt seem to care about anything but the looks of the guy in my picture. I started sending the kind of messages that all the girls on okcupid claim to hate,I said "sup babe?" and i got responses!! and here's the icing on the cake, I sent a girl a message asking her if she would be down for a hook-up and she said yes, and this was the first message I had sent her. Also she was one of the girls who said she didnt do hook-ups on her profile. I guess I'm feeling really disillusioned by the shallowness in the world.It seems that looks are the only thing that matter to most men and women these days. intelligence,kindness,sense of humor,who needs that stuff?

My son is going through the exact same thing.

------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal


http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/

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Padre35
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Posts: 1656
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012

posted April 13, 2013 03:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Padre35     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
^ yea i know , it seems like everyone lies now.. Its hard to seperate the wheat from the chafe and the real people from the phonies.

Which is why it is far better to just be yourself, as much as you can be, and let stuff happen.

when so many lie, your honesty creates a differentiation.

Another thing on my mind is I'd not enjoy having a relationship with a woman based on deception, don't care how pretty she may be, or even if it were a one nighter, just no.

For me what makes women beautiful is when they accept me for me, and vice versa, but I cannot speak for you AG.

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libraschoice77
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Posts: 778
From: NYC
Registered: Aug 2010

posted April 13, 2013 03:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for libraschoice77     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Your looking for women in the wrong places, try joining a club for hobbies or something. Also men can be just as shallow, it goes both ways sadly.

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aquaguy91
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Posts: 6524
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012

posted April 13, 2013 03:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

IMO AG, huge mistake putting up your friends' pic, that is weak, and it smells imo
[/B][/QUOTE]
maybe it does smell,but so does the rest of the worlds deceptions. My only goal was to see how many i could get get to respond to a good looking knucklehead and i got lots.


Upgrade your profile, talk about positive things in your life, and find women who like you for you, not for some deception. For you my friend, deception doesn't fit, even in romance..just be yourself..but be the best "you" that you can be.

[/B][/QUOTE]
My profile is the real me, I have since taken down the other pohoto and put mine back up. The thing is padre I always try to only message girls I have mutual interests with. For example I have found atleast 20 girls in my local area who are interested in astrology and I sent them messages, how many of them do you think responded? zero..

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aquaguy91
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Posts: 6524
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012

posted April 13, 2013 03:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Padre35:
Which is why it is far better to just be yourself, as much as you can be, and let stuff happen.

when so many lie, your honesty creates a differentiation.

Another thing on my mind is I'd not enjoy having a relationship with a woman based on deception, don't care how pretty she may be, or even if it were a one nighter, just no.

For me what makes women beautiful is when they accept me for me, and vice versa, but I cannot speak for you AG.


I feel the same way. I didnt intend to carry out anything .. My only intention was to see how many girls i could get to respond to initial messages by having up a "hot guy's" pic. The messages I sent with my friends photos were very brief, i basically said "sup babe?" or "hey sexy!" . This is totally different from the real me who sends real messages based off of mutual interests I see in the profile.

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Padre35
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Posts: 1656
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012

posted April 13, 2013 03:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Padre35     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Be patient and persistent AG, keep in mind an online profile is like an ad.

For example, the women you've messaged may say they are into astrology, the reality is it could very well just mean "..yeah I'm down for the metaphysical and don't know jackola about astrology"

More or less what they are saying is they are offbeat.

Have you tried offering them a free chart reading?

That would be a great ice breaker and you'd have a chance to get to know them better.

Also keep in mind, with online stuff, men and women have varying intensities concerning it, some won't bother with it unless they are bored, others as just locked into it and pay close attention to what is going on.

The other thing is..don't be so hard on yourself, that stuff is marshmellow creme not life or death, chillax and just do what you do.

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libraschoice77
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Posts: 778
From: NYC
Registered: Aug 2010

posted April 13, 2013 03:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for libraschoice77     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Also notice when women try to give you advice you seem to shrug it off...oh well lol. You need a good woman friend to help steer you. Listen to the XX chromosome, our insight could be helpful

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aquaguy91
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Posts: 6524
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012

posted April 13, 2013 03:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by libraschoice77:
Your looking for women in the wrong places, try joining a club for hobbies or something. Also men can be just as shallow, it goes both ways sadly.

Oh I know <3 I'm just talking from my experience since i'm a guy. But I know guys are just as bad or even worse sometimes.

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katatonic
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Posts: 9947
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted April 13, 2013 03:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for katatonic     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
So it seems women ARE visual (like men)...tell me, have you "met" anyone here on LL who you feel you might like toget closer to?

I know it seems trite to say concentrate on building your life and then you will be ready to meet the girls you will hit it off with (build it and they will come ) but it is sooo true.

And also trite but true is that the yearning for connection will attract all the WRONG people!

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Padre35
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Posts: 1656
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012

posted April 13, 2013 03:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Padre35     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by libraschoice77:
Also notice when women try to give you advice you seem to shrug it off...oh well lol.

Oh wow, that is kind of a tough situation b/c women are well..women..men are men.

No offense meant but sometimes a man is better off just being a man and taking advice that works, then shake off what does not work.

Generally:

-Dress well
-Hold a conversation (us men tend to be locked into what WE want instead of bothering with actually listening and interacting while being genuine)
-Learn things that makes one interesting
-Be seriously careful of what one says, no offense meant to women but y'all tend to hold onto the most innocuous statements from a man..stuff that means nearly nothing to us means a great deal to women

Oh gosh, that last point is just a metaphor for my romantic life..sheesh..years later that stuff is brought back up.. ?

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libraschoice77
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Posts: 778
From: NYC
Registered: Aug 2010

posted April 13, 2013 03:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for libraschoice77     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
So your saying he needs help from another guy, possibly a ladies man? If that's the case he really should meet my Scorpio ex lol

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Padre35
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From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012

posted April 13, 2013 03:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Padre35     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by katatonic:
So it seems women ARE visual (like men)...tell me, have you "met" anyone here on LL who you feel you might like toget closer to?

I know it seems trite to say concentrate on building your life and then you will be ready to meet the girls you will hit it off with (build it and they will come ) but it is sooo true.

And also trite but true is that the yearning for connection will attract all the WRONG people!


Sooo true, desperation/thirstiness is just such a dead end.

Difficult to really illustrate on the internet but the joy that comes from meeting someone who shares the same likes as one does is just awesome.

It makes all of the work that goes into a relationship worthwhile

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aquaguy91
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Posts: 6524
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012

posted April 13, 2013 03:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
-Be seriously careful of what one says, no offense meant to women but y'all tend to hold onto the most innocuous statements from a man..stuff that means nearly nothing to us means a great deal to women

Oh gosh, that last point is just a metaphor for my romantic life..sheesh..years later that stuff is brought back up.. ?[/B][/QUOTE]

very true. just the other night me and my friend were hanging out and he sent his girlfriend a very innocent text (or so i thought). He told her he was thinking about her and she was the only thing he thought about, her response? she started cussing him out and asked how many girls he has been seeing.lol

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somethingexcellent
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Posts: 974
From: walking with my head in the clouds!
Registered: Nov 2012

posted April 13, 2013 03:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for somethingexcellent     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
aquaguy91: I'm an average looking guy ,far from ugly but not the best looking either...

aquaguy, I wanna let you down easy here, but I think you're kinda less than average. Objectively, looks are not an asset you have, so profile dating doesn't seem like the kind of environment you'll survive in. I'm not trying to troll you or anything like that, so if you appreciate real, this is being real.

Any ways, be like me, and be too self-obsessed to actually want to put forth effort into romance. The reason I've been single for so long is because is easy to just crush and admire from afar and not do anything about it.

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jellyfishtry
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Posts: 52
From: LaLa land
Registered: Apr 2013

posted April 13, 2013 03:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for jellyfishtry     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi AG i just found this forum recently, and love it all to bits already.

I read what you wrote, and i have to tell you women lie just as much as men, if not more. I am still single as i never knew the rules of the 'game' before, despite doing well in the looks department(am not showing off, i am that girl who gets strangers trying to talk to her, or telling her she has a pretty face, while others wonder why am still single, but that's just me)).
on the other hand i know devious little manipulators who have gotten as much as married quite a while ago, and they're not really beauty queens or anything, but maybe do have cheerful personalities at the end of the day.

but with all this...am going to tell you maybe it is a good thing all those who ignore you, as you'll go through a lot of people before you meet the 'one'.
and if you did try to get to know one of these people that you don't feel a 'spark' with at all...who knows what opportunity you are missing, to be in the right place at the right time to find someone just as nice as you (i'm reading your posts and you really come across as a very nice gentleman!)
some of us fine each other early, others find each other later...it doesn't matter, just keeping wishing to the universe/source that you'll find someone so that your loneliness won't last longer...and who knows what surprise the universe may have for you.
you may find someone even closer than where you though you'd find them, and without the need for the web. if anything these girls your seeing online, will just make you appreciate the genuineness of your new relation when it finally happens.
really wishing you all the luck in the world with this one, and hoping you'll find happiness soon. (and if you do please share it here, as we'd all like happy stories to real ppl from time to time )

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aquaguy91
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From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012

posted April 13, 2013 04:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm not trying to troll you or anything like that, so if you appreciate real, this is being real.

[/QUOTE]
Riight. I know what I am and know what i'm not. I'm average but admittedly i dont photograph well. I look just like my dad and he was considered to be very handsome in his day.

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libraschoice77
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Posts: 778
From: NYC
Registered: Aug 2010

posted April 13, 2013 04:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for libraschoice77     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
In alot of ways I could relate to you when I was younger, I had alot of problems with men and dating also. I do sympathize with you, it's just timing is all, alot in life has to do with timing and that includes love. I was a mess before I met my husband, complaining I would never find anyone, didn't know what would happen. But I found my special someone and you will too eventually. I am rooting for you to find your special lady Aquaguy

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Padre35
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From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012

posted April 13, 2013 04:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Padre35     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by libraschoice77:
So your saying he needs help from another guy, possibly a ladies man? If that's the case he really should meet my Scorpio ex lol

Women cold blooded!

And what I am saying is..be yourself be confident in whom you are and the rest of the stuff follows.

There is a caution there though, "confident" not "arrogant"

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Padre35
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Posts: 1656
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012

posted April 13, 2013 04:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Padre35     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by somethingexcellent:
aquaguy, I wanna let you down easy here, but I think you're kinda less than average. Objectively, looks are not an asset you have, so profile dating doesn't seem like the kind of environment you'll survive in. I'm not trying to troll you or anything like that, so if you appreciate real, this is being real.

Any ways, be like me, and be too self-obsessed to actually want to put forth effort into romance. The reason I've been single for so long is because is easy to just crush and admire from afar and not do anything about it.


Hmm, imo AG is good looking gentleman, thing is he has that beard covering his jaw line, dresses like a "dude", and maybe is carrying a bit to much weight

INOW, like most folks, imo AG's issue is bitterness, he does not seem to quite get how the romantic world works and is shocked at some of the things that happen in that world.

If there was one thing I wish I could really impress upon him is there is a huge difference between "it's just sex" and being with someone you actually have feelings for, it would explain so much about why "bad boys" hook up, but their lives are Greek Tragedies.

I think a part of that is a lack of understanding that women like good looking men and well offer sex for a night, or a week, but won't boyfriend them up, which is very much what men do..it's just not talked about so it is new to AG

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Kerosene
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Posts: 1876
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012

posted April 13, 2013 05:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kerosene     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I feel like when people are desperate to find a mate they wreak of it.
That kinda turns off people because they can sense it.
You should not make romance a priority in your life if thats what youre doing.
Its first of all depressing and disappointing.
Relationships just come to you when you least expect it, love is strange like that.

Okcupid is like DTF.com lol
I've actually never heard of a successul online relationship in my circle. Most people are only DTF or looking for rebounds thats about it.
The internet is pretty sleazy and with all the potential catfish and insecure people on those sites. Just avoid it.

Look elsewhere, go out with friends and its easy to mingle with strangers in parties or get togethers, less inhibitions, people are looking for potential lovers and friends.
You should take my advice, I've never had a problem getting relationships this way.

Its not about being conventionally attractive, charming, or rich. I've seen all types of people who have or had found love, love is for everyone.
Astrology sheds light on the mystery on periods of love and romance. Perhaps the stars are not contributing positively in that way right now.

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Xiiro
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From: San Diego CA, USA
Registered: Jun 2011

posted April 13, 2013 07:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Xiiro     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I feel there is a lot of good advise here. This isn't something recently happening to this world, it's part of human nature.

There is nothing wrong with wanting a guy who is interested in you AND who also has above average looks. In fact, it is not above some women to pursue a physical relationship with the hope that romance will develop.

The truth is, online dating is like selling yourself on ebay. If someone is in the market for a partner, of course they are going to look at the products with the flashy packaging before they are going to read the nice blurb on the average looking product. The 7th house is ruled by Libra because it isn't a deep energy.

I have more but have to go. brb

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