posted June 25, 2013 12:48 PM            

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Originally posted by Padre35:
Exactly there is careful intense then there is nutty intense!

And..give us Scorpios a break!

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posted June 25, 2013 12:52 PM            

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Originally posted by 11nahyt:
Lol. What would make someone creepy intense?

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Oh I don't know.. stalking you, controlling you, obsessing about you leaving him for his best friend like his ex did, making you pay for every girl/boy who ever hurt his/her little heart, morbidly jealous and suspicious, constantly seeking to limit your time on the outside world (not just harmless possessiveness but rather kidnapping you). Oh and the countless mind games they play. How would you like to be blackmailed that if you leave him, he'll kill himself?

posted June 25, 2013 01:25 PM            

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I was really just thinking how disgusted this behavior makes me, and trying to figure out why I cannot stomach watching people go through the motions of what in their mind is qualified as "love" but to all others often appears to border on "self-harm" or "psychosis".... Oo;

I was also wondering why or how one becomes so oblivious to the extremes they are functioning on during these "romances" (crushes, flings, commitments, whichever it really is)...

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I am sort of on the same mind frame right now.

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Because some of us are Plutonian in nature and can't help it.

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Uhm, this affirmation right here, coming from a love interest, would have me running for the hills. Maybe I have had too many "intense" relationships, hey I actually took pills myself because my fiance knocked some girl up and told me about the new little life he was planning for the 3 of them together. I wasn't in the picture. Perhaps after being through the depths of desperation myself, such behaviors are red flags to me now. The "can't help it" bit most of all. Because a person with a lack of self control, who would go all psycho on me (has happened, I am a magnet for them) should really stay the hell away from me from now on. Maybe I am growing into my Aqua intercepted in my 1st, or my Uranus transit makes me appreciate cool heads more than hot pants as of late, but still, under the cover of "intense Plutonians" are some deeply ****** -up individuals who need professional help.

I know Doux wasn't referring to such extremes and I know she is not like this despite being a Scorpio (I sort of see you more Cap/Virgo than Scorpio, Doux) but I cannot stand here and allow this "intensity" being advocated as something normal (it's common, but borders on pathological) or something to be desired to have in a relationship.

I remember very well what it was like breaking up with psycho-Libra, the one with Scorpio Venus on his Scorpio DC. Despite us being together for less than 3 months, when I called it quits I got trashed on several sites, received phone calls at 2, 3, 4 AM, he called me crying threatening to kill himself, he had his parents calling me, blaming me for breaking his poor 30-something son's little heart. I was being stalked online and otherwise, I was afraid to come home thinking he'd be there waiting for me with an ax or something. The break-up was 2 years ago and I still receive prankish phone calls from some of his friends. One of them pretended he was a patient of mine, which was very uncool, as I had to tell the "patient" to politely f*** off. These are just a few examples of how "intense" he was. Actually, the fool was me, because even before we got together he kept insisting he *knew* I'd break his heart.

posted June 25, 2013 01:33 PM            

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Originally posted by Hera:
Oh I don't know.. stalking you, controlling you, obsessing about you leaving him for his best friend like his ex did, making you pay for every girl/boy who ever hurt his/her little heart, morbidly jealous and suspicious, constantly seeking to limit your time on the outside world (not just harmless possessiveness but rather kidnapping you). Oh and the countless mind games they play. How would you like to be blackmailed that if you leave him, he'll kill himself?

Stuff like that.

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posted June 25, 2013 01:50 PM            

Come here for a hug!
I know where you're coming from.
But rest assured, you're not alone in this.
There are nuts people just like you out there.
: points finger to herself, nahyt & Aquacheeka:

Sashar,

Yeah, same here.
Afflicted Moons, unite!

Aquacheeka,

quote:

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Because some of us are Plutonian in nature and can't help it.

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Now try to explain that to a Saturnian or Uranian.. ha.. ha.

Hera,

Well, that's taking it too far, obviously.
But there's a difference between being intense without actually being psycho and being a complete sociopath with no control whatsoever.. That's scary.
I don't think anyone here is that way :looks around suspiciously:

nahyt,

Good question.
I know I've been "in love" several times.
And I've "liked" people, too..
But I can tell the difference between the two, definitely.

But it usually starts slowly for me.
Like it's growing.. growing.. and then at some point I just realize that I'm completely infatuated.

But that hasn't happened in a while..

Now I don't get obsessive or infatuated with people.

posted June 25, 2013 02:09 PM            

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Originally posted by Doux Rêve:

[b]Hera,

Well, that's taking it too far, obviously.
But there's a difference between being intense without actually being psycho and being a complete sociopath with no control whatsoever.. That's scary.
I don't think anyone here is that way :looks around suspiciously:

[/B]

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posted June 25, 2013 02:44 PM            

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Originally posted by Hera:
I may have intentionally done so, yes. Present company excluded, can you tell the difference between being a bit more intense than the average Joe and a sociopath? I'm not sure if I can. I felt the need to raise a flag here.

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posted June 25, 2013 05:02 PM            

I'm still confusing i presume. ^^ Well, even though you'll be better at controlling - how intense you can be... or try to avoid being manipulative or less demanding in terms of control (if that's something that defines you) and so on... this side of your nature - can still come out occasionally (if it's who you are) That being said... for you to be happy with someone - he should be able to accept both your negative and the positive traits. You should be open about it - about who you are and "if he's the one for you - that shouldn't be a problem for him..." - even more than that - he should know how to behave around you. And same goes vice-versa - like two peaces of puzzle fitting together in this big puzzle we call life. Cause if you'll try to suppress all your negative traits - and behave only a certain way (more positive if you will) - the one you attract... could fall in love "with that side alone" and latter... he'll freak out when other sides come out (who are you - it's like i don't know you anymore?!). That clearly... wouldn't work - one of the main cause behind breakups - cause when they reach that point - they'll realize they're not right for each others (can't even stand each-others).

It's also true that "people change... a LOT". If i remember correctly - you're around the age of 18 right now... and the one you'll be 10 years from now will be like a stranger compared to the one you are right now (that's a guarantee - 99.99%). A young age (though... in your case, which might be related to your crowded 5'th house - you seem very mature for your age, you have the mentality of a 24+ woman... take this remark as a compliment ^^) - which is more like a initiation in terms of relationship. As far as i know - that rarely works out... even though - we might love the one with whom we're a with at 18... well, let me put it this way: "adolescence is the period when we're all caterpillars (yes, yes - i know... this comparison can be ironical - cause we look like butterflies ^^)". The cocoon forms around the period of self-reflection but... doesn't work the same for everybody. While looking around - it's noticeable that "most don't give much importance to introspection" - they simply don't have time for that" - being to consumed with "everything else"... so they continue being caterpillars... until they're forced in to a state of seclusion by all kind of circumstances - mainly unhappiness (with themselves, their job, their partner, their expectations and so on...) - but there are also those for whom this happens only at old age (a point when very few... try to put that to it's use - and emerge as butterflies). Though... that's not about you... doing that at the age of 18... you seem to be in a hurry (is your Sun in 6'th house - the house of adulthood) - i mean... you should be eating more leafs from the tree of youth. ^^ Well, you have your reasons...your path trough life - we're all different from this point of view - though still, things will change... you will change (considerably).

Back to love... There's a misconception when it comes to "True Love". True Love is supposedly rare. Why? Because... beyond the primary forms of love (eros, storge, philia)- to reach True Love, you should get to a point - where you're capable of Agape (the so called unconditional love). But, that's a step... or more like "an outcome" to the other types of love - something that can happen only latter in a relationship. Which makes a lot of sense... and that's because - you have to know a lot of stuff about that special someone - until you can acknowledge Agape type of feelings (check what i stated above the "puzzle pieces part..."). That being said - it's not like - one can skip the primary types of love and get straight to agape. And with primary types of love (such as Eros and Philia) - jealousy is quite normal (even with Agape is - I'll get to that in a moment). When you're starting to have feelings for a certain person, especially - when you really like that person - jealousy can accompany those feelings. And if that person likes you back - if you can acknowledge a mutual attraction - even more than that, if there's a good communication flow, mutual interests (a lot of things you might have in common - even in terms of behaviour) - and so on... but then things shift by 180% (for example: all of a sudden - he stops answering your calls without giving any reason for that and latter you see him in someone else's company) - intense feelings of jealousy can arise. Which is normal and logical - as you're dealing with anxiety at that point (feelings related to confusion, fear of rejection - or fear of lose of a special someone based on the way things were going till that point). Let's presume you surpassed that moment and you reached a level of trust where you've been very open to each-other - beyond the present, you shared even your deepest secrets (you've shown him the skeletons from your closet) - and he did the same... but none of that scared any of you away - you still like him and he still likes you (you can acknowledge a mutual acceptance, intimate feelings...) - well, after that... agape type of feelings are finally possible. You might love him - in more ways than one "and fall in love with him more than once..." Though, the Agape type of feelings can be one sided and can fluctuate... but even more than that - what's known as Agape (unconditional love) in a relationship - it's a bit different than the God type of Agape - something you might feel for certain people (even humanity) or for someone who's getting closer to God (like an inspirational child who's dealing with a terminal disease). In what way (one might ask)? A relationship between two people - implies all kinds of attractions (intimate - inner/outer attraction and so on...) - even a merger between two souls (and two bodies). So let's say you've reached agape type of feeling for a person - and he doesn't love you with that type of intensity... let's say - that he'll even loose interest in you at one point and maybe - fall in love with another (...). Now, when both of you where together - being able to love one with that intensity "can be an unforgettable experience" - but when things feel apart... well - if you love him unconditionally - you have to let him go and try to be happy for him... it's not about jealousy at that point - but emotional pain, a sacrifice one must do for another out of love (and that's something that - Agape can imply in a relationship).

posted June 25, 2013 05:45 PM            

Thank you for your post, it resonated with me a lot. Like a whole lot.

I think you've just broadened my vision on things.. exactly what I needed.

Thank you.

Ps. I'm older than that! ts, hate being compared to teenagers!
I have a Capricorn MC - want others to see me as a mature, wise individual.

posted June 26, 2013 12:57 AM            

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Originally posted by Aquacheeka:
Because some of us are Plutonian in nature and can't help it.

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posted June 26, 2013 01:04 AM            

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Originally posted by Hera:
Where's the fun in that?! But dude, you're a Scorpio as much as I am one lol!

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Ah, once in love, always in love, still remember GF's from 20 yrs ago!

Ughh..I'll shall never forget her...it's just me, I "know" it's over so to speak, but that does not mean she is not on my mind even today.

Just want her to be happy so to speak, it does not matter if she is still in my life or not...be happy, enjoy life!

posted June 26, 2013 01:05 AM            

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Originally posted by Padre35:
Indeed, that damnable iceball of a planet means once in love...always in love, even a decade later it doesn't go away.

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posted June 26, 2013 01:35 AM              

I knew this one plutonian who likes to suckface with eyes open and I was like you aren't suppose to keep your eyes open... That's a bit awkward.

The only response was
SHHHHHHH

Creepy..

posted June 26, 2013 01:41 AM            

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Originally posted by Kerosene:
I knew this one plutonian who likes to suckface with eyes open and I was like you aren't suppose to keep your eyes open... That's a

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posted June 26, 2013 01:56 AM              

I mean it's okay to take a peak, we all do that but that dude was ******* legit staring, I would close my eyes and open again and he was still staring... wtf...

posted June 26, 2013 01:59 AM            

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Doux Rêve: Hah, Scorpios and love.. or should I say "love".

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...

I don't know if there's really an answer. Moderation is a skill you learn, but sometimes it's just never learnt.

I feel great highs. I am desirous by nature, and passion just carries me away, burns me up. I run roughshod right over any bumps because my passion fuels me and I want no stops at all - are there any fights? Arguments? Insecurities? I'll feed then quell them because I'm aiming for something and I want to hit my mark. My head burns with emotion, but it can freeze over too. If I ever feel a waning, that's it. Fire gone, passion fled. I eat people up then leave them to the crows.

posted June 26, 2013 02:11 AM            

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Padre35: Indeed, that damnable iceball of a planet means once in love...always in love, even a decade later it doesn't go away.

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I love it, it's almost comforting. Always remember how you felt, the connection you developed, even if you grow to resent them, you can still feel the lingering sentiment of when you liked them. It's magical.

posted June 26, 2013 02:30 AM            

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Originally posted by 11nahyt:
How does one deal with dating someone else, while you still long for your past love?

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B/c that is not true at all, when things do not work..you leave..it's over..it's not fair to them or yourself to drag that crap around.

posted June 26, 2013 08:39 AM            

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Originally posted by Kerosene:
LMAAAO I spit out my drink!!
LOL
I'm sorry that happened to you. You were in high school so it's understandable.

I mean it's okay to take a peak, we all do that but that dude was ******* legit staring, I would close my eyes and open again and he was still staring... wtf...

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Happened to me too! I actually caused quite a big fight because I caught my ex, who was quite Plutonian, staring at me! At that time, it creeped me out. Oddly I didn't think my last ex staring at me during sex was creepy. But he was a sadist and he got off seeing me get off, which I wouldn't have had any problem with, if the staring wouldn't prevent me from getting off in the first place

posted June 26, 2013 08:47 AM            

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Originally posted by Padre35:
B/c that is not true at all, when things do not work..you leave..it's over..it's not fair to them or yourself to drag that crap around.

New relationship means exactly that NEW, that does not mean one just tosses them away as if the time and emotion you spent with them means nothing, it does mean,,you start over.

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