posted September 19, 2013 05:24 AM            

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Originally posted by Odette:
Oh - Actually I didn't mean to involve you there Aqua guy.

I agree with the fact that those guys should not be let off the hook simply because they were honest... when their honesty is just a way to be co*ky and passive-aggressive. And I agree with Scorpy - that the douche bag shouldn't be a douche bag in the first place.

I know you were mentioned in that quote - but I was agreeing with the general message. I wasn't trying to imply anything about your posts.

I understand that you feel like both parties should be held accountable.. not just the men. But you do seem more critical of women.
Either way - my reply was not aimed at you at all.. I was just broadly agreeing with Scorpy's views on this.

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posted September 19, 2013 05:25 AM            

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aquaguy91: Where in my posts did I say women are responsible for douchebags behavior?

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And no one said that you said that! So there you go.

Any ways, you still focus on persecuting women. It was only until I mentioned it did you say "well yeah men have blame too but it's still the woman's fault." I suppose that's where values change. I'm idealistic and I don't think the majority of people are cynical, women included, so it then follows that I reason they were giving him chance.

posted September 19, 2013 05:45 AM            

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Originally posted by somethingexcellent:
And no one said that you said that! So there you go.

Any ways, you still focus on persecuting women. It was only until I mentioned it did you say "well yeah men have blame too but it's still the woman's fault." I suppose that's where values change. I'm idealistic and I don't think the majority of people are cynical, women included, so it then follows that I reason they were giving him chance.

Key words you mentioned changed though. At first you called women pathetic for not believing the men when the men said they were pigs. Later, you said it was their fault for staying after they learnt his true nature. Two very different things.

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posted September 19, 2013 06:17 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by somethingexcellent:
[b] And no one said that you said that! So there you go.

Any ways, you still focus on persecuting women. It was only until I mentioned it did you say "well yeah men have blame too but it's still the woman's fault." I suppose that's where values change. I'm idealistic and I don't think the majority of people are cynical, women included, so it then follows that I reason they were giving him chance.

Key words you mentioned changed though. At first you called women pathetic for not believing the men when the men said they were pigs. Later, you said it was their fault for staying after they learnt his true nature. Two very different things.

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posted September 19, 2013 06:33 AM            

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Originally posted by Xodian:
Personally, I want to hear a story about such a case involving a woman that is outside of AG's immediate social circle because I gotta tell ya... I have yet to meet a woman who I know personally who got bamboozled three or more times in a row.

If anything, most ladies I know ended up with a better person after their first run-in with a jerk. And those who are now single after being let down by a douche are uber picky about who they date let alone form a relaitonship with. And obviously, the first complaint that guys throw their way happens to be "why are you so cold and distant?"

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yadayada!

You are DA MAN!!

posted September 19, 2013 10:33 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Omg.... I'm really starting to wonder about some of you. Where in my posts did I say women are responsible for douchebags behavior? Never, I'm saying women are responsible for themselves. If a woman continues to engage with a douchebag after she has learned his nature she has become a willing participant in the abuse because she had the option to
eject from the situation and didn't, at that point she has no one to blame but herself. The fact of the matter is there are bad people in the world and they aren't going to change, that's the reality. The best
thing to do when you encounter such people is to get the hell away.

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In an odd way, women ARE responsible for Dbaggery.

Reason being, guys act in ways that women re-enforce, via attention, sex, what have you.

DBag/Jerk/Ahole, etc, are attractive to some women, this leads to a cycle of "..if a little of that behavior gets me this, then a lot of that will get that much more.."

"If" women preferred discussions over the relevancy of Shakespeare in MS Office spell checking function, then men would adjust.

However, it does not work that way, as much as I love conversation and hearing women's views, out and about I also know unless I want to be pigeon holed there are bright lines to be drawn or pigeon holed I'll be.

posted September 19, 2013 11:23 AM            

Stop already...

Boring and going round and around the mulberry bush.

posted September 19, 2013 11:26 AM            

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Oh both sides...

Stop already...

Boring and going round and around the mulberry bush.

Sucker started off as a *joke*

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They started it!

posted September 19, 2013 11:35 AM            

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posted September 20, 2013 04:35 AM            

As I was saying many girls want to heal what they see as a broken human being (in the jerk).

This does not imply attraction. Some women are attracted - but others are not... And even if they are not attracted they still stay with the jerk - because they want to play Mother Mary.. and fix him and help him and what not..

You can be attracted or un-attracted to someone depending on your synastry with them and other physical/biological factors. A jerk is what he is based on his personal issues, his life experience, his natal chart.

Two guys could behave the exact same way towards a woman .. and put on the exact same "player" type act - and she could be into one of them and not the other. That's because some people you have a bond with.. chemistry, an attraction ... and some you don't... and nothing can change that.

You can act like the biggest jerk or the nicest guy in the world .... If there is no chemistry, if there is no love, if there is no karma, if there is no synastry--- it won't mean anything because she won't like you anyway.

In this kind of situation- often the problem is - that - two people are very attracted to each other and one of them plays games and acts like a morron because of his/her own mental problems or issues in life.
So the other person stays and puts up with the crap behaviour because they still care or because they are afraid to leave and think they can't do better.

They are sometimes not attracted TO the behaviour - but they are attracted *despite* the behaviour so they try to ignore it or brush it under the carpet.

You are right to some extent, because some women are attracted TO the behaviour.... but you're ignoring the existence of all those women who are very put off by the behaviour (and hurt) ... but they still care about the guy in question *despite that*.... kind of like someone looking past a physical ailment or disease and standing-by the individual anyway.

And you're also ignoring the ones with low self-esteem who stay because they are afraid to leave.

So yeah - there's a percentage of women out there who are attracted to this and there are so many others who are not.

The problem is - regardless of the reasons a person has to stay with a ''jerk' - it will always send the jerk the wrong message.
Because the average self-centred player wannabe would not imagine that a woman is still with him -despite- his behaviour, although she is disgusted and put off by it.... because the average player/jerk is too 'simple' to understand the emotional layers there.

posted September 20, 2013 04:51 AM            

quote:

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Xodian: Personally, I want to hear a story about such a case involving a woman that is outside of AG's immediate social circle because I gotta tell ya... I have yet to meet a woman who I know personally who got bamboozled three or more times in a row.

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posted September 20, 2013 10:47 AM            

Then the excuse for their poor behavior starts doing what it does.

Other thing is, and it is not exactly spoken about in polite society is men and women both have self images that disqualify otherwise suitable potential flames b/c they are perceived as below that self image.

IE, the number rating system w/o the numbers. That self image when it comes to attractive qualities in others imo, is the underlying reality to all of this.

It's why people with low self image (self esteem) tolerate poor behavior and from my experience it is nearly impossible to change it w/o massive amounts of self improvement work.

However such self improvement effort is difficult so usually the default behavior simply never changes.

posted September 20, 2013 11:02 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Xodian:
Personally, I want to hear a story about such a case involving a woman that is outside of AG's immediate social circle because I gotta tell ya... I have yet to meet a woman who I know personally who got bamboozled three or more times in a row.

If anything, most ladies I know ended up with a better person after their first run-in with a jerk. And those who are now single after being let down by a douche are uber picky about who they date let alone form a relaitonship with. And obviously, the first complaint that guys throw their way happens to be "why are you so cold and distant?"

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posted September 20, 2013 11:42 AM            

It is easy to be politically correct. Anyone can do that. To stand alone is the hard thing.

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posted September 20, 2013 02:07 PM            

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posted September 20, 2013 02:08 PM            

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posted September 20, 2013 02:08 PM            

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posted September 20, 2013 09:37 PM            

You have something in 12th don't you? I think I remember you having something there.

posted September 20, 2013 10:24 PM            

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posted September 21, 2013 10:20 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:

"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

Charlotte wrote: SOME PIG.

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"La, la, la
La, la, la" ~ Pig, at Christmas

posted September 21, 2013 10:28 AM            

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
He has Sun in the 12th and maybe Saturn too, Tony.

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