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Author
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Topic: For Fun: Bad Boy Me Up!
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Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 51243
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted January 08, 2014 06:39 PM
  
To all the stay at home moms  IP: Logged |
Violets
Knowflake Posts: 1877
From: Twin Peaks
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted January 08, 2014 07:12 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Xodian:
Oh by all means, I have no issue with women who make the CHOICE to be stay at home moms on their own accord  . If its something they make the informed choice to be, then more power to them. My issue was that people expect THIS to be the accepted "norm" is modern society which IMO is not. EXPECTING a woman to be something she is not a good foundation to build a relationship upon. EDIT: Stupid iPad autocorrect! Sorry guys and gals; You might notice that that I might sniper edit some typos in my post a few minutes after putting it up on this forum  . Using a tablet to type on a forum sucks.
Excellent. And yeah, typos haha. I edit my posts all the time, for various reasons.  IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 8268
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted January 08, 2014 07:54 PM
My dad is a house hubby..
I loveeeeeeee itI definitely do feel one parent needs to be at home. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 8279
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted January 08, 2014 07:58 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Xodian:
Oh by all means, I have no issue with women who make the CHOICE to be stay at home moms on their own accord . If its something they make the informed choice to be, then more power to them. My issue was that people expect THIS to be the accepted "norm" is modern society which IMO is not. EXPECTING a woman to be something she is not a good foundation to build a relationship upon. EDIT: Stupid iPad autocorrect! Sorry guys and gals; You might notice that that I might sniper edit some typos in my post a few minutes after putting it up on this forum . Using a tablet to type on a forum sucks.
Ok, fair enough. But if you are going to take issue with that you have to take issue with the fact that most people still expect men to conform to their traditional gender roles. Why is that so many people lose their sh*t when someone expects the same from women? It all seems so hypocritical to me.
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Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 8268
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted January 08, 2014 08:04 PM
well does xodian even have kids?
So yeah I guess for him it's different. Im sure if he had kids he would want his wife to look after them.. Unless she's like some big shot bringing in a lot of dough. My uncle is a libra and I remember he specifically wanted to marry a career woman even though he is really rich himself.
I just think that's what they are into.
The scales are balancing right? Im kinda seeing a Libra now and was really worried that I was just a full time student.. and was extremely impressed when the salary for our careers are pretty much the same.
I thought that was cute.
I'm not really use to being probed about my ambitions....
I guess being with a pisces/cancer is totally like LET ME TAKE CARE OF YOU!!!!!!! IP: Logged |
Violets
Knowflake Posts: 1877
From: Twin Peaks
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted January 08, 2014 08:50 PM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Ok, fair enough. But if you are going to take issue with that you have to take issue with the fact that most people still expect men to conform to their traditional gender roles. Why is that so many people lose their sh*t when someone expects the same from women? It all seems so hypocritical to me.
I personally don't expect (or even like) men to conform to the traditional gender roles that I suspect you're referring to. If I made more money than my husband, I would go to work and he could stay home, and I would be totally cool with that. Personally, I do a lot of things that are often considered "men's work" in a household, because I enjoy doing those things. We have chosen to live in the mountains, so... I chop the wood.
I mow the yard (I refuse to buy a rider lawn mower, because they represent something to me that I am disgusted by in our culture). I rarely use the self-propel lever.
I dug our garden with a pick ax, which included uprooting quite a few boulders. Like, a lot of boulders...some of them were the size of my head. I realize that my Cap Mars and Leo AC are kind of bragging here, but hey. I love doing those things. It keeps me in excellent shape physically, and connected to the earth. My husband does things like renovations around the house, but that's because he knows how to do it and is good at it. More often than not, my husband is the one who cooks dinner. I loathe cooking, so he does it and I appreciate that. So...whatever works for people. IP: Logged |
Faith
Moderator Posts: 6626
From:
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted January 08, 2014 08:52 PM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Ok, fair enough. But if you are going to take issue with that you have to take issue with the fact that most people still expect men to conform to their traditional gender roles. Why is that so many people lose their sh*t when someone expects the same from women? It all seems so hypocritical to me.
It is, but so what? Nowadays women in America are expected to have careers and people will "lose their sh*t" when you say you are ***just*** a housewife. Housewife is like a dirty word. The most common adjective you see preceding housewife is "desperate." You know those vocation dolls children play with in school? You know the one person who is never represented there, with the fireman, nurse, lawyer, doctor, priest, and forest ranger? Mom. You know what kind of Barbie they'll never make? Mom Barbie. But so what. IP: Logged |
Violets
Knowflake Posts: 1877
From: Twin Peaks
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted January 08, 2014 08:53 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Kerosene:
My dad is a house hubby..
I loveeeeeeee itI definitely do feel one parent needs to be at home.
Awwww... My husband would be such a wonderful stay at home daddy. That's so cool. IP: Logged |
Violets
Knowflake Posts: 1877
From: Twin Peaks
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted January 08, 2014 08:54 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Faith:
It is, but so what? Nowadays women in America are expected to have careers and people will "lose their sh*t" when you say you are ***just*** a housewife. Housewife is like a dirty word. The most common adjective you see preceding housewife is "desperate."You know those vocation dolls children play with in school? You know the one person who is never represented there, with the fireman, nurse, lawyer, doctor, priest, and forest ranger? Mom. You know what kind of Barbie they'll never make? Mom Barbie. But so what.
BAM! IP: Logged |
Faith
Moderator Posts: 6626
From:
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted January 08, 2014 09:03 PM
quote:
Originally posted by PixieJane:
Ah yes, consumerism, where a person's value is based on their income (with ability to spend a clear second). That even affects how children and the elderly are treated.
Good point. 'Enjoyed your entire post. IP: Logged |
Faith
Moderator Posts: 6626
From:
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted January 08, 2014 09:04 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Violets:
BAM!
 Thanks! IP: Logged |
12muddy
Knowflake Posts: 1311
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted January 08, 2014 09:14 PM
Xodian: You look like a "nice guy" in the pics lol no bad boy vibe at all. -----------
My Libra other half is quite easy-going about the whole thing. When I brought up the topic about kids (we both work n study so yeah... quite busy), he told me that I could do whatever feels right to me and he'd stay home for the kids.
Logically, I should be the one that stays at home, coz after finishing his study, his qualifications and earnings will be higher. But yah, the idea of not having a job is just too much for me to handle. LOL oh well there is still plenty of time. Too early to think of that right now. IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Moderator Posts: 3601
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted January 08, 2014 09:24 PM
Sweden allows, even encourages (mandates?), parents taking time off from work to spend with kids. Gender has nothing to do with eligibility. It's one of many things I admire about that country. IP: Logged |
23
Knowflake Posts: 573
From: The Strand
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 08, 2014 09:28 PM
Aqua guy - I think a lot of guys put pressure on themselves to make money and have a career because Instinctively males like to protect and provide for their loved ones. So, by losing the ability to make money makes them feel less able to do the above and makes them feel less powerful, which also affects their relationship with other males. I'm very aware of this issue. I walking about this to Mr 23 once about a male friend who was retrenched and was newly married and he said that society expects men to make money and men put the pressure on themselves too.I don't think either gender has it easy and I think a lot of problems caused especially between men and women is just that they have different drives and don't understand each other and so there are suspicions and misinterpretations etc. YTA - you've seen a lot of things, you're a wise soul. IP: Logged |
23
Knowflake Posts: 573
From: The Strand
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 08, 2014 09:33 PM
quote:
If I made more money than my husband, I would go to work and he could stay home, and I would be totally cool with that.
Don't mean to be mean to men but the studies are out about this situation. I also don't use the DM as an authority. Unfortunately, I think the gist of the article is true. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1303563/House-husbands-times-likely-ch eat-wives.html Which is why the traditional model works, ie it makes women dependent and thus, they won't leave. Anyway, in most countries, men still are paid more than women. Also have seen a few situations where I know women with large pay and house husbands. I've noticed these husbands are maladjusted in some way and will belittle their wives to gain control.
http://ideas.time.com/2013/12/09/the-househusbands-of-wall-street/
No one has really evolved, we still are playing out our instincts. IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Moderator Posts: 3601
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted January 08, 2014 09:35 PM
^^IOW, act like a lot of housewives. Not that all housewives act that way, nor do househusbands (which I've seen). Though given there are a lot more women than men that stay home and a lot more pressure on men to earn I could see why there would be a tendency for men to be more sensitive about it and more likely to cheat which is social rather than biological.
IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 10316
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 08, 2014 09:37 PM
It might be because of the area i grew up in and the friends i was around, but gender role issues where not really ever an issue. i know guys that are stay-at-home dads and it's perfect for that family. People didnt judge a stay at home mom either....mainly because they knew what an important and often difficult job that can be - it's almost considered a luxury in this day and age (sadly)!!If a family has the means to have one of the parents stay home then DO IT! Lucky them & how great for the kids! I'm noticing it seems to be the people that are from the backwoods, bible belt & certain areas in the south that seem to struggle with these ideas or want to argue about them most. It's similar to the 'bad boy' arguements that go on here. I have never heard guys ***** so much about it before in my life. And i've always had a ton of guy friends. It's like....with the guys i grew up with....it was a non issue mostly....when i think back on it. Which is likely why i tend to get frustrated with the topic, disbelieve many of the stories and wonder what planet some of these guys here come from. IP: Logged |
Violets
Knowflake Posts: 1877
From: Twin Peaks
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted January 08, 2014 09:56 PM
quote:
Originally posted by PixieJane:
which is social rather than biological.
Bingo. And if a person doesn't give a sh*t about societal norms, they would tend to not be affected by that type of thing. We don't really fit the bill on that one. For one thing, we don't live in an area where people actually expect the guy to be the "bread winner", or even to make more money than the female in a relationship. Like T mentioned, it's like a non-issue in our area. (Except that women ARE expected to work, etc.) And we likewise wouldn't give a f*** even if we did live in a place that held that as the "norm". Other people's expectations of "normalcy" are fairly irrelevant to both of us, quite honestly. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 8279
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted January 08, 2014 09:58 PM
quote:
Originally posted by T:
It might be because of the area i grew up in and the friends i was around, but gender role issues where not really ever an issue. i know guys that are stay-at-home dads and it's perfect for that family. People didnt judge a stay at home mom either....mainly because they knew what an important and often difficult job that can be - it's almost considered a luxury in this day and age (sadly)!!If a family has the means to have one of the parents stay home then DO IT! Lucky them & how great for the kids! I'm noticing it seems to be the people that are from the backwoods, bible belt & certain areas in the south that seem to struggle with these ideas or want to argue about them most. It's similar to the 'bad boy' arguements that go on here. I have never heard guys ***** so much about it before in my life. And i've always had a ton of guy friends. It's like....with the guys i grew up with....it was a non issue mostly....when i think back on it. Which is likely why i tend to get frustrated with the topic, disbelieve many of the stories and wonder what planet some of these guys here come from.
The reason most guys don't bring it up around you is because you are a woman and it is utterly pointless for them to do so,case and point this forum full of women. All I get is hate and emotionally charged responses when I say anything on the matter. But you know what? I don't really care. I know the truth and I know what I'm seeing out in the real world. One of the big problems with most people today is they value fitting in and political correctness over being honest and telling the truth. Plain and simple, people lie to look good. Just look at Xodian, he is a perfect example of this. Over 90% of his posts are him posting his pics in photo threads or contradicting the things I say to look good. I'm not saying he doesn't believe the stuff he says, but I find it very odd that he is silent most of the times but swoops in when ever I say anything in sweetpeas. I suspect the difference between Xodian and myself are his Leo placements and my aqua placements. This thread is his Leo ascendant and moon ego in action. He is all "look at my pictures! I'm not a d*ck like aquaguy " . This whole thread is a big F.U to me and I find it hilarious. I don't care, I'm sticking to my guns and calling it like I see it . That's the difference between me and most people.
IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 10316
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 08, 2014 10:04 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Violets:
I personally don't expect (or even like) men to conform to the traditional gender roles that I suspect you're referring to. If I made more money than my husband, I would go to work and he could stay home, and I would be totally cool with that.
It seems most everyone here feels this way. Which is why i am confused. In this day and age it's not very hard for couples to be open to and let each other fall naturally into rolls that mutually benefit the whole and still manage to be respected by those around them. In my observations this is the new norm and not really looked down upon anymore. Not as harshly as it used to be anyway. IP: Logged |
23
Knowflake Posts: 573
From: The Strand
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 08, 2014 10:06 PM
Aqua guy - I've never written a cranky post to you and I'm a woman. I haven't read much on the slag shaming post and so I won't comment on the friction between you, Odette and Padre. I see you as a frank individual that simply expresses their opinions. I accept what you say and like I've said, I think men and women are built differently with different drives. I really don't have a problem with men liking the traditional model either.Oh, I just happen to have some interesting synastry with you so maybe that's why I don't have a problem. IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 10316
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 08, 2014 10:07 PM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
The reason most guys don't bring it up around you is because you are a woman and it is utterly pointless for them to do so
:hilarious: I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO SAY THAT going to read the rest now. IP: Logged |
23
Knowflake Posts: 573
From: The Strand
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 08, 2014 10:08 PM
T and Violets - my attitude has been to focus on my life and let other people deal with theirs'. Yeah, I have made judgements in the past about others but really, does their lives have any impact on ours? No. Each to their own, different life circumstances require different accommodations. IP: Logged |
Violets
Knowflake Posts: 1877
From: Twin Peaks
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted January 08, 2014 10:15 PM
quote:
Originally posted by 23:
T and Violets - my attitude has been to focus on my life and let other people deal with theirs'. Yeah, I have made judgements in the past about others but really, does their lives have any impact on ours? No. Each to their own, different life circumstances require different accommodations.
I agree with you on that. I dislike people pushing ideas down my throat that don't suit my life or my beliefs, but thus far I haven't been too grievously offended. I don't mind forgiving differences, misunderstandings, or respecting people's rights to develop their own beliefs. I can get a little bit cranky and moderately offended, but I mostly think everyone here is, in essence, doing the best they can as human beings. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 8279
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted January 08, 2014 10:16 PM
quote:
Originally posted by T:
:hilarious: I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO SAY THAT going to read the rest now.
Let me ask you something. Would you agree that there are certain things that most women keep to themselves and dont discuss around men? If you don't you are lying.... Well men do the same thing and this is one of those things. If you could be a fly on the wall for man talk you would realize that a lot more guys would agree with me than you think. Just look at the internet.... Men post in forums about it,blog , and make youtube videos about it. It's everywhere! IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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