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Author
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Topic: To make a move or not make a move
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aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 8487
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted January 27, 2014 07:15 PM
  
So I have been seeing a girl for a few weeks now and things are going really well, I think she may be a keeper. We share lots of laughs and have lots of fun and have chemistry. Only problem is I'm not exactly sure where she stands on sexual matters. When we started talking she was very adamant that she is a virgin and doesn't want to have sex until marriage. She also said she doesn't want to do anything that could lead to "temptation". She is very serious about her faith and goes to church every Sunday, goes on mission trips, and attends a Christian College. Just to make things crystal clear I'm cool with all of that and support it 100%. Now from reading all of that you may think it's a no brainer that she is against pre-marital sex, but things have gotten a bit complicated lately. As we have been bonding and spending more and more time together her stance on sex is becoming more and more questionable. The other night she informed me that she is comfortable enough with me to sleep in the same bed and even be naked in my presence. She also hinted that she would be open to oral sex. Her exact wording was I want you to kiss me "everywhere". I'm confused because all of this could mean a million different things. It could be that she really intended to wait but has changed her mind because she is falling for me or it could be that she only said she was a virgin and waiting for marriage to impress me and has really been open to sex to all along. Or it could mean that she thinks sleeping in the same bed together and doing everything but actual intercourse is ok and wants to save that until marriage. It could be a lot of things and I don't know what to make of it. I only know that I don't want to screw things up because I really like her. At any rate I'm going to take it slowly and not rush things but I'm just wandering if ya'll think she wants me to make a sexual move on her? What do you think?IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 8834
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted January 27, 2014 07:18 PM
make out with her rub her thighs and see if she allows you to put your hands in her pants. You never know she may be ready or really turned on, so it's hard to say what could happen.
If she pushes your hands away she is simply not ready and keep it clean I guess.
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DeepFreeze
Knowflake Posts: 886
From: Pluto with Barbiegirl19
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted January 27, 2014 07:28 PM
Talk to her about it. Easiest way to find out.
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Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 8834
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted January 27, 2014 07:30 PM
With virgins you really need to please them and get them excited about sex right?
When making out with her start with the neck and go all the way down than go down on her first since you're more experienced.
Again you don't have to stress out because she will stop you than it's all cool. I'd figure out a plan how to smooth transition if she's not ready.
don't make it awkward for the both of you.Lol im not trying to teach you how to have sex but when it comes to these things that's really the only way you can really know for sure..
that's my opinion at least. IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 8834
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted January 27, 2014 07:32 PM
Imo it depends on person.. she maybe be uncomfortable with even thinking about it.
When I was a virgin and when the topic of sex would come up..
I would be really closed off from the idea and make excuses
Sex is kinda spontaneous it depends on the mood. If it's right.
I don't even like talking about it with someone I'm about to have sex with...
When I did started doing sexual things it always when the mood was right and the person turned me on and eased me into it.
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Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 52519
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted January 27, 2014 07:38 PM
edit
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Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 52519
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted January 27, 2014 07:38 PM
quote:
Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
Talk to her about it. Easiest way to find out.
When all else fails, be honest  ------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 8487
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted January 27, 2014 07:46 PM
What makes it all so bewildering is how against pre-marital sex she seemed. She even went so far as to say she didn't want to do anything that would lead to the temptation to have sex. But wouldn't sleeping in the same bed, being naked around each other, and oral lead to the temptation to have sex? Like I said I don't know what to make of it all. I guess it's best to really take things cautiously from here on out because I don't want to ruin things. IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 8834
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted January 27, 2014 07:49 PM
When you're a "virgin"It's scary, like crap i have razor burn or ingrown hairs.
Plus you're not sure what to do what faces to make.
NOPE sorry,
I can't right now.
It's not like she's going tell her insecurities even if you ask. when you make it seem natural and comforting she will be more receptive for sure. IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 8834
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted January 27, 2014 07:50 PM
if she's really into being christian than you need wait till marriage I guess.Because she will say no.
It could that she's hinting to keep you around. IP: Logged |
DeepFreeze
Knowflake Posts: 886
From: Pluto with Barbiegirl19
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted January 27, 2014 08:02 PM
Yes, everyone is different. So, I do see the other viewpoints. By making a move to get your answer you could put tremendous pressure on her and cause her anxiety and stress - thinking you are just being aggressive. Something to consider. But if she says something then I guess you can let her know your thoughts then too. You know her best. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 8487
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted January 27, 2014 08:03 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Kerosene:
When you're a "virgin"It's scary, like crap i have razor burn or ingrown hairs.
Plus you're not sure what to do what faces to make.
NOPE sorry,
I can't right now.
It's not like she's going tell her insecurities even if you ask. when you make it seem natural and comforting she will be more receptive for sure.
Well she did say that she is really worried about sex hurting her and I did say if I was the one to take her virginity I would take of her. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 52519
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted January 27, 2014 08:28 PM
It seems like modern Christian young people do oral sex and everything else, just not intercourse. That seems to be the trend. ------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 8487
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted January 27, 2014 08:45 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
It seems like modern Christian young people do oral sex and everything else, just not intercourse. That seems to be the trend.
IMO the church needs to rethink their attitude on sex because waiting for marriage just isn't practical anymore. Back in the old days people would get married in their teens (the age most people become sexually active today) and live with their families and stuff . But nowadays people are going to college, getting financially sound, and buying a house before they get married. So if people still waited until marriage they wouldn't be having sex until their mid to late 20s, that's just not realistic today . People are biologically wired to have sex from their teens onwards. Now I'm not promoting promiscuity , but I don't see anything wrong with two people having sex if they care about each other and are committed to each other. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 52519
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted January 27, 2014 08:48 PM
I know I will be way off from the norm but I think a Christian needs to wait for marriage. God does not do it to be mean. Females bond during sex and it is super hard on them when it doesn't work. I know people will disagree. I don't want to really debate it. There is really nothing for me to debate, per se. I believe the Bible to be God's letter to us on how to live on this earth. When I was in college, I would think someone who said what I just said was a moron, so I get that I really do lol But, I do think that the Bible does not change with social changes. Anyway, that is my thinking on it and I know that many people will not agree. ------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 8487
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted January 27, 2014 09:09 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
I know I will be way off from the norm but I think a Christian needs to wait for marriage. God does not do it to be mean. Females bond during sex and it is super hard on them when it doesn't work. I know people will disagree. I don't want to really debate it.When I was in college, I would think someone who said what I just said was a moron, so I get that lol But, I do think that the Bible does not change with social changes. Anyway, that is my thinking on it and I know that many people will not agree.
Well I agree that you need to have a connection with the person but I don't think waiting until after the ceremony means a whole lot. Over 50% of all marriages end in divorce , so I don't see how waiting until marriage means anything. A lot of religious minded people get married because they want to have sex and don't want to feel guilty for it and end up getting divorced. Women initiate over 70% of those divorces.
IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 52519
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted January 27, 2014 09:15 PM
I hear you totally AG. I just think the Bible is inviolable. I mean, people make mistakes but one should try to live by it and not make conscious choices against it imo.It is there to HELP people, not spoil fun. To me, if God says something, it is for our good, even if we don't understand it. We accept it and later can see why, perhaps.
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Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 8487
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted January 27, 2014 09:16 PM
Here's my opinion on the bible... I think that a lot of what's written in the bible is timeless wisdom and a lot of it is stuff that we know to be untrue today. A lot of what's written in the bible is the writers opinions of things they didn't understand. For instance we now know the earth is round, we know that stoning our children is wrong,and we know that slavery is wrong. If you read the bible you would get the idea that the earth is flat, it's ok to abuse children,and it's ok to keep slaves. Does this mean the bible is rubbish ? Of course not, it just means you have to take into account that times have changed and keep that in mind when reading the bible.IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 52519
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted January 27, 2014 09:27 PM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Here's my opinion on the bible... I think that a lot of what's written in the bible is timeless wisdom and a lot of it is stuff that we know to be untrue today. A lot of what's written in the bible is the writers opinions of things they didn't understand. For instance we now know the earth is round, we know that stoning our children is wrong,and we know that slavery is wrong. If you read the bible you would get the idea that the earth is flat, it's ok to abuse children,and it's ok to keep slaves. Does this mean the bible is rubbish ? Of course not, it just means you have to take into account that times have changed and keep that in mind when reading the bible.
Many people feel like you do, AG. I think the Bible is as relevant now as to old days but we can agree to disagree, my Friend! ------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 8487
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted January 27, 2014 09:29 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Many people feel like you do, AG. I think the Bible is as relevant now as to old days but we can agree to disagree, my Friend!
But you wouldn't agree that there are certain things in the bible that are wrong? Like the way it is against astrology?
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Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 52519
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted January 27, 2014 09:49 PM
It is against witchcraft which deals with the dark side. Astrology is a science as is astronomy or any other science. I do handwriting analysis. That is a science too. these things are not spiritual, per se, one way or another, as I see it.I would never go against the Bible. I fail and fall short but I aspire to follow it. To me, I don;t think you can JUSTIFY sex outside of marriage. If one does it, one is going against the Bible. I think one should know that and make a conscious decision ------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 7447
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted January 27, 2014 09:50 PM
If I were you I would get engaged then get married and wait for the honeymoon. Just tell her that's what you want to do. Tell her you are waiting for your future wife and you won't have sex until then. If you are serious, and she is, then she will start planning her future with you. Anyway, if I were you I would plan and wait because she sounds like a nice girl and perfect for you. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 52519
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted January 27, 2014 09:57 PM
quote:
Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
If I were you I would get engaged then get married and wait for the honeymoon. Just tell her that's what you want to do. Tell her you are waiting for your future wife and you won't have sex until then. If you are serious, and she is, then she will start planning her future with you. Anyway, if I were you I would plan and wait because she sounds like a nice girl and perfect for you.
Lovely words. Sex can spoil things. I say this, not from a prude place because I am not, but from the place of longevity of the relationship.
I want you to have the real deal, AG. That is what you want too. Don't spoil it for more superficial things. Commit it to God and you will get the desires of your heart.
That is what my son is doing and God is honoring him with his soul mate. That is my 2 cents. You know I will love you whatever you do. It is not about that but I want YOU to have the best outcome. That is why I am even bothering to write. If I did not care for you, I would not bother!
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Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 6712
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted January 27, 2014 10:22 PM
Don't do it. Don't you wreck things. Honor her wishes. Her virginity is special and precious. If you can't honor a Christian, move on. You are a man. I don't need to tell you that you are expected to not only be the spiritual guide but also the moral compass. Live up to your Christian role or stop dating a Christian. I'm far more blunt than Ami. You take your hands off her and leave that alone until there are rings on both of you. I'm not going to say I want the best for you or any of that... from me, it'll just be BS. You just lay the f off her. IP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 3179
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted January 28, 2014 12:07 AM
AG, do YOU know what YOU want out of this situation? To me, agree with YTA, if she is not Wife material, then it would be better to move on for the both of you. She is probably even more angst ridden then you are atm, this is not exactly an experienced girl here, she knows what you want physically, probably even likes/loves you and not giving in causes lots of negative emotions for both. If you are looking for a Wife, then wait, if not, it is fairer to both if you next. IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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