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Author
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Topic: Multiple Baby Daddies.
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aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 8863
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted March 25, 2014 05:49 PM
  
quote:
Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[b]
Or a woman could just take birth control and/or be more discriminating about who she sleeps with. But that wouldn't work would it?
You can't control what other people do. All you can do is counsel them, tell them what you think, then they have to decide.
The only one you can control is yourself. If you don't want to take care of kids and do what is required to raise them yet still want an active sex life, use some kind of birth control, whatever works best, and if you don't want to catch something and you sleep with people you either do not trust or don't know, wear condoms.[/B][/QUOTE]
First of all, I don't sleep around. And Secondly I love children and want to have "My Own" in the future. By that I mean I dont want to raise some other man's kids, I want my own. Thus it ****** me off as a man when I see so many women getting pregnant by imbeciles. From where I am standing women have the power to close their legs to such imbeciles and pick better men or go on the pill! There is no excuse for unplanned pregnancy and whether or not you want to believe it women carry most of the responsibility because #1 they are the ones who get pregnant and #2 they are the gatekeepers of sex, which means it ain't happening unless she spreads her legs. IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 8097
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted March 25, 2014 05:58 PM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
First of all, I don't sleep around. And Secondly I love children and want to have "My Own" in the future. By that I mean I dont want to raise some other man's kids, I want my own. Thus it ****** me off as a man when I see so many women getting pregnant by imbeciles. From where I am standing women have the power to close their legs to such imbeciles and pick better men or go on the pill! There is no excuse for unplanned pregnancy and whether or not you want to believe it women carry most of the responsibility because #1 they are the ones who get pregnant and #2 they are the gatekeepers of sex, which means it ain't happening unless she spreads her legs.
I just meant men in general, not you specifically, Aqua.
A lot of women think they are going to stay with the guy have babies while in the relationship thinking it will last and then it doesn't. That's how most women end up with children from more than one father.
If you love the woman you are with, you would just accept it. Men often have more than one child from a previous relationship, too. People aren't perfect. You have to realize that. If you absolutely cannot stand the idea of blended families, find a woman without kids and stay with her after she has yours but that might not guarantee the relationship will last if she wants a divorce for some reason.
Your chances of a long marriage increases if you marry someone who is a fundamental Christian, they are far less likely to divorce than other women. So, my advice is find someone who sincerely holds those values. A lot of people do not have them these days. Roughly 50% of the population do not, if you go by divorce statistics.
It's not just women with "deadbeats" who have kids with more than one father. It's women who have been married then divorced more than once, usually.
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DeepFreeze
Knowflake Posts: 1323
From: Pluto with Barbiegirl19
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted March 25, 2014 06:06 PM
Oh man...
Let's get some popcorn!
This ought to be good!
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Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 3287
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted March 25, 2014 06:07 PM
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Sense and Sensibility. We're talking about perpetual baby mamas. You would think getting burnt once by a deadbeat asswipe would be enough for one to learn her lessons. And for the guys who can't keep their pants zipped up, don't whip out the dick and take a **** unless you want to also clean said toilet bowl and settle in that residence. Spraying genetics is pricey. And deadbeat baby daddies ought to be arrested and charged with felonious child abandonment. And then sued for three times the amount as compensation plus additional punitive damages. Put a lien on their mortgage deed and have property seizure proceedings, liquidating their assets to feed the children. For those deadbeats with no income, make them pick garbage off the highways in the hot sun or freezing cold wearing pink overalls as appropriate punishment.
A word on the genetics..not really, from an evolutionary standpoint that is the best strategy for perpetuating one's DNA From a Societal standpoint, it is chaotic and ultimately destructive due to the said statistical likelihood of how the children transtiion into adulthood (socio economically speaking) The dead beat dads are often arrested, which merely adds to the societal costs. IMO, I agree with the basics of what Odette said, ppl do get aroused and have sex, we ultimately or part rational, part mammal. Problem then becomes, what are the costs (aside from pregnancies)? Not the OP's original question, I do think it is a part of the mix of "why". For example, a partner who has a sexual partner count in life, with some extreme acts involved, is then going to settle down and act as if the whole era never happened? Strictly my opinion, I also think the more children there are from different couplings, the perceived value drops as at the end of the day the "next" man is going to wind up generating revenue to support other people's children. Harsh? Yep. IP: Logged |
MoonWitch
Moderator Posts: 1312
From: The Beach
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 25, 2014 06:15 PM
*whistles*It is times like this when I am extra thankful that I married an outstanding man who loves my son from my previous marriage. He's an amazing step-father with outstanding character. I respect the heck out of him more every day.
Anyway, I know way more guys that have spread their seed and have children with several women than the other way around.
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StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 8097
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted March 25, 2014 06:21 PM
quote:
Originally posted by MoonWitch:
*whistles*It is times like this when I am extra thankful that I married an outstanding man who loves my son from my previous marriage. He's an amazing step-father with outstanding character. I respect the heck out of him more every day.
Anyway, I know way more guys that have spread their seed and have children with several women than the other way around.
I am sure there are so many wonderful, fabulous step parents just as good if not better than biological. In the long run, your parent is the one who is there for you and nurtures, not merely the ones who make your life possible.
It's all about doing what you can to create a nurturing family. Nothing is ever going to be perfect. It's what you do with life's imperfections that matter most. Attitude is what's most important and the will to create the most beneficial environment - this coming from someone with a Cancer MC 
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YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 6864
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted March 25, 2014 06:29 PM
It takes a whole lot more than throwing money at a child to be a proper parent. How about involvement in a child's development and education. Just because a guy pays child support and occasionally takes his kids out to ice cream doesn't make him a parent. Any idiot can become a father. It takes a real man to become dad. IP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 3287
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted March 25, 2014 06:51 PM
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
It takes a whole lot more than throwing money at a child to be a proper parent. How about involvement in a child's development and education. Just because a guy pays child support and occasionally takes his kids out to ice cream doesn't make him a parent. Any idiot can become a father. It takes a real man to become dad.
Canard aside, do agree, it takes EMOTIONAL investment to properly parent a child. W/multiple fathers, that also means some rather confused children as at least two tried on some level and struck out. IP: Logged |
23
Knowflake Posts: 641
From: The Strand
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 25, 2014 07:29 PM
AG - I really feel for you, you do sound like a good guy and I'm sure you will be a great family man. I understand your concerns about women, I agree with you that the buck stops at women. Men will always want it, women do act like a switch but I don't think people can switch off like that as Odette said. A lot of it is that firstly, people don't have self-control (whether it's high sex drive or emotional drive) and secondly, because of that, they make very hasty decisions and involve themselves with anyone that's around. That's where my comment from yesterday comes in and what I said about faulty parents. My parents, as weak they were in some ways, did instil a sense of self-value in me, that I was worth it. They are very morally responsible people from traditional European cultures, they value marriage, reputation, honour. Because of that, I was very selective with who I chose as my husband and only involved myself with him because I knew he was a responsible man. I think as mentioned before in other posts, is that most of us on here like in Anglo-Saxon based countries, where liberality and "anything goes". Well as I've said a dozen time, great freedom places an emphasis on personal responsibility to get it right. Combine this with poor behaving parents and potentially personal shortcomings in a child's personality and a welfare system in place too, the consequences can be quite bad. IP: Logged |
Violets
Moderator Posts: 2937
From: Twin Peaks
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted March 25, 2014 08:34 PM
Guys who have sex with women, don't use a condom, assume the woman is on birth control, then blame the woman for getting pregnant or giving them an STD: 
Women who don't use birth control or insist that a guy uses a condom when they have sex, and are shocked when they're pregnant or have an STD:
It's harder when you're young, I get that. Younger people have a harder time remembering basic stuff sometimes, or don't fully understand the repercussions perhaps (or take more chances than people do as they get older). Also, I will take note of cultural factors. In some cultures (within the US at least) it is the status quo for people to have multiple children and receive government assistance. Argue about the "rights and wrongs" of it all you want, but those are facts. Offer up better resources for those particular areas and populations, and you won't have anything to complain about. That aside, own up to your responsibility regarding birth control methods, and you won't have to worry about it or blame anyone else. Derp.
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23
Knowflake Posts: 641
From: The Strand
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 25, 2014 08:54 PM
Yep, contraception is everyone's responsibility. But I think women have more a responsibility in getting their partner right, eggs cost more than sperm. Fact.IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 8097
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted March 25, 2014 09:26 PM
quote:
Originally posted by 23:
Yep, contraception is everyone's responsibility. But I think women have more a responsibility in getting their partner right, eggs cost more than sperm. Fact.
And what is the man's responsibility?IP: Logged |
23
Knowflake Posts: 641
From: The Strand
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 25, 2014 09:42 PM
Sticking around at least the child's life. And hopefully, being a good and kind partner her,and if this is not possible, at least being civil and resolving issues together. IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Moderator Posts: 4036
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted March 25, 2014 09:53 PM
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Odette
Knowflake Posts: 3835
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted March 25, 2014 10:50 PM
quote:
eggs cost more than sperm. Fact
This thing about eggs and sperm - can't be connected to the personal qualities of the "man" in question.
He could be a bum, he could be funny, boring, nice, not so nice - good, bad whatever. On an instinctual level women would (subconsciously) pick out men whom they have a higher chance to have healthy/fit offspring with (genetic benefits...)
Arguably.. this is not a process that involves the woman's higher faculties.. or "decision-making" on a conscious level. A deadbeat could father a perfectly healthy and fit baby.
It doesn't necessarily follow that every deadbeat is sickly or has bad genes. From a biological perspective - that egg would not be a "wasted" egg... just because we socially consider the man in question a "deadbeat". This also works *vice versa*.. A man could be the most amazing person in the world and the perfect father in every way.. and his female SO could (potentially) have made a mistake (i.e. according to you - not met her biological responsibility) by being with him.. and by wasting her eggs on him .... purely because lets say he has.. a genetic disorder. So he is not a deadbeat ^. He's an awesome man.. with a genetic disorder .. quote:
women have more a responsibility in getting their partner right,
Well no... because this isn't conscious for the most part. We are already attracted to particular people for particular (biological) reasons.
The human race has evolved. We exist and we are continuing to reproduce. The responsibility in getting the right partner - on the egg/sperm level - is purely a partner with GOOD genes.
This responsibility is instinctual. Apart from that ^ ... any person would have a responsibility to *themselves* to pick a partner who is there for them, treats them right and who they can be happy with.
This is true of both men and women though --- and it is disconnected from the other instinctual/biological responsibility to propagate the human race. IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 3835
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted March 25, 2014 10:50 PM
quote:
Originally posted by PixieJane:
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Violets
Moderator Posts: 2937
From: Twin Peaks
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted March 25, 2014 11:39 PM
quote:
Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
Oh man...
Let's get some popcorn!
This ought to be good!
Confession: I have barely skimmed over the contents of this thread. Because as soon as I started reading it I started to look like this.  IP: Logged |
23
Knowflake Posts: 641
From: The Strand
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 25, 2014 11:40 PM
Odette - your arguments are sound. However, in relation to the first part, I really do think that that is maybe how some lower order animals would act - purely seek out a fit mate on the basis of some sort of biological attraction (pheromones etc). If you look at the higher level animals (humans,mammals, birds etc), there is on top of what you said, a pecking order that is in place, that is, that Ms Gorilla is going to like alpha male Mr Gorilla, the one who is strongest and able to defend best, just like how human females would if they could select a male with the best resources (money, love for children and support of them and family unit, provision of time etc). That's what I meant by responsibility of the female. If you are careful to assess a potential partner, you've done the best you can in the situation of purposeful procreation. However, I have seen girls end up with a guy because he just has hot abs instead of doing a global assessment of his resource providing abilities (assuming that a relationship is sought). But given everything I said, sex is very seductive and made pleasurable by nature and people will have a crack of it if they want it, anytime, any place, potentially with anyone in any circumstance with possibly a myriad of consequences! IP: Logged |
Violets
Moderator Posts: 2937
From: Twin Peaks
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted March 25, 2014 11:45 PM
Ladies. Just stay away from the gentlemen with gyrating hips. They are to be steered clear of, okay?  IP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 3287
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted March 26, 2014 12:07 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Odette:
Well no... because this isn't conscious for the most part.We are already attracted to particular people for particular (biological) reasons.
The human race has evolved. We exist and we are continuing to reproduce. The responsibility in getting the right partner - on the egg/sperm level - is purely a partner with GOOD genes.
This responsibility is instinctual. Apart from that ^ ... any person would have a responsibility to *themselves* to pick a partner who is there for them, treats them right and who they can be happy with.
This is true of both men and women though --- and it is disconnected from the other instinctual/biological responsibility to propagate the human race.
There is truth in that Odette, save for the sort of pre destination aspect to it as if conscious decisions play no part in the process. I've forgotten who mentioned they knew far more men then women who had "spread their seed". I suspect there were more then purely biological reasons for it however. It assumes such a man would want to spread the love so to speak, biologically he may have an advantage, mental/morally he could not be "there". Even tho the way Society operates now, a theoretical Genghis Kahn COULD emerge IP: Logged |
Chiemi
Moderator Posts: 1347
From: Michigan
Registered: Feb 2012
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posted March 26, 2014 12:10 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Violets:
Confession: I have barely skimmed over the contents of this thread. Because as soon as I started reading it I started to look like this.
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FireMoon
Knowflake Posts: 1427
From: Minnesota
Registered: Mar 2012
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posted March 26, 2014 01:39 AM
quote:
Originally posted by PixieJane:
Exactly lol. Which one is it? Little known fact we'll soon have the technology for a male birth control pill. We probably already do (imo) but would most men stand in line to take a pill everyday that has all sorts of (potentially dangerous) side effects and kills your natural sex drive to begin with? Probably not. Just had to point that out but obviously it's not an issue since it's all the "woman's responsibility" of course IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 6864
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted March 26, 2014 08:28 AM
Fundamentally, both genders need a higher level of careful consideration before removal of britches. That involves a higher degree of judicious evaluation and a demure persona. Attitudes towards sex are far too nonchalant these days.
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StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 8097
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted March 27, 2014 04:37 AM
What a lot of people don't realize is one man can get an infinite number of women pregnant all at roughly the same time while one woman can carry the child(ren) of only one man at a time. So you see, it is much more a problem for men because if they are not careful, and they have sex with multiple partners without any birth control, they could end up with 20, 30 children from several different women simply because they can impregnate more than one at a time.IP: Logged |
rajji
Knowflake Posts: 1316
From:
Registered: Jan 2011
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posted March 27, 2014 07:32 AM
That is what i was alluding to all the while.
Intrinsically men and women are made different.They are not equal forces but complementary forces.When these forces operate against the laws of nature, A family becomes dysfunctional!
A man begets, A woman bears.
A man Leads, A woman follows.
“A woman simply is, but a man must become. Masculinity is risky and elusive. It is achieved by a revolt from woman, and is confirmed only by other men. Manhood coerced into sensitivity is no manhood at all.” –Camille Paglia
“Stand true to your calling to be a man. Real women will always be relieved and grateful when men are willing to be men.” –Elisabeth ElliottIP: Logged |
Lindaland
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