posted October 04, 2014 12:44 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by ueharaa:
[b]

At a point I thought: is there such a thing as being more skilled in finding a good match or what s it really that makes people very different in terms to romance.

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Hmm, I'm sort of the opposite AG, it is not a lack of interest it is more the strings and obligations that come with a relationship that I just do not want in my life

When I go out, or even in day to day life I rarely speak to anyone when I do the conversation tends to be a bit more focused.

posted October 04, 2014 01:52 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
Hmm, I'm sort of the opposite AG, it is not a lack of interest it is more the strings and obligations that come with a relationship that I just do not want in my life

When I go out, or even in day to day life I rarely speak to anyone when I do the conversation tends to be a bit more focused.

What does happen is very slyly the women tend to box out my time, before I realize it Fri-Sat I'm spending time with them..not that I mind..women can be very crafty lol!

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posted October 04, 2014 01:59 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I know I probably sounded like a negative prick in my earlier posts,

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I know that I do at times, as well. I skimmed this thread, so I didn't really see it.

quote:

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so let me try to explain myself better. When I was younger I was extremely idealistic about love/relationships and thought I would find "the one". I approached all my crushes and girls I dated with that mindset. I always expected things to work out and I always thought I would be with that person long term. And when things didn't work out I was crushed. But now i'm at a point where I have no expectations to meet "the one" and get married. I think i'm emotionally ready to enter into relationships and just enjoy the ride with no expectations that we will be together tomorrow. If it works out and we are together for a long time,great! If not I will move on and find someone else. I'm not going to be sad and depressed over losing someone when there's a million fish in the sea. I no longer believe in "the one". I believe there are dozens of people I could have a happy relationship with.

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This is where I've been for a while. I actually did think I'd found "the one", and he turned out to be SO wrong. Unbelievably wrong. And he messed with my head - hence me being a negative prick at times (at least, when I'm messed with by others - I'm told to let things go, by people who repeat the same sort of thing themselves, so really, we aren't the only negative ones).

posted October 04, 2014 02:26 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Padre35:
[b] Hmm, I'm sort of the opposite AG, it is not a lack of interest it is more the strings and obligations that come with a relationship that I just do not want in my life

When I go out, or even in day to day life I rarely speak to anyone when I do the conversation tends to be a bit more focused.

What does happen is very slyly the women tend to box out my time, before I realize it Fri-Sat I'm spending time with them..not that I mind..women can be very crafty lol!

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Oh but it is, before you know it "hey I have not seen my friends in a long time" or "hmm, I used to go there a lot have not been there in a while.."

posted October 04, 2014 02:31 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
Oh but it is, before you know it "hey I have not seen my friends in a long time" or "hmm, I used to go there a lot have not been there in a while.."

Next thing ya know, driving a mini van full of kids to soccer practice with a sort of confused look on your face..lol!

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posted October 04, 2014 02:31 PM              

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
^^

Just for the record, I don't think you said anything inappropriate on this thread. If someone wants to get histrionic and melodramatic about your cynicism then they really need to stay off the internet because what you said was mild compared to the over the top flamers and trolls out there. Your statement was cynical, but not in any way rude.

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I never said he was being rude, nor inappropriate. That view on love sincerely saddened me and made my stomach flip, but everyone is entitled to their opinions. The thought that I may have or could possibly get into a relationship with someone who would just view me as someone to hang out with and have sex with until they are sick of me LITERALLY makes me feel sick and very sad. I would only want to get involved in a relationship with someone if I thought the love was going to be true, and I don't even believe in marriage, but true love has nothing to do with marriage. I was not being melodramatic or histrionic
(histrionic: 1. of or related to actors or acting.
2. excessively dramatic, insincere, or artificial )
Everything I expressed (or ever express) was how I truly feel and in no way acting, insincere or artificial. Yes maybe I do feel too much or too intensely, but please, PixieJane, stop pretending like you know everything/everyone or call people false because of your own inability to feel deeply, sincerely and without lust. I am disturbed by lust, you are fine with it. Does not make me false or melodramatic/histrionic. Was Linda Goodman being melodramatic in her views on love/lust and Twin Souls and in Gooberz or was that sincere emotion?? Perhaps I should stay off the internet (or more correctly this site, as I barely use the internet at all, I do not partake in any social media whatsoever beyond this site, but do use the internet for information/articles and the like) but perhaps so should everyone then.

Aquaguy I don't why I let your opinion affect me, I am just affected by the world and people and their opinions all the time, it is not fun nor do I choose it, I suppose it is part of my learning process in this life. If I could not feel anything, or not have ideals I would, seems much easier for everyone that is that way. But I can't force myself not to feel. And I am not positive nor do I have faith any longer. Maybe there a million fish in the sea but there are not million true loves or ones that are right for you in the sea.

posted October 04, 2014 02:46 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by deepseablues:
And I am perpetually disturbed by men. Breaks my heart all the time and I constantly feel sick. Like I said it is not fun.

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posted October 04, 2014 03:25 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
Oh but it is, before you know it "hey I have not seen my friends in a long time" or "hmm, I used to go there a lot have not been there in a while.."

Next thing ya know, driving a mini van full of kids to soccer practice with a sort of confused look on your face..lol!

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You must be So Cute!

posted October 04, 2014 05:24 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
It's also my opinion...

A willingness to be alone and to find happiness within your own heart actually sets you up to find love. The more that we seek dependence on another for love it seems harder to find it.
It may be with great intention to "share" love with someone but I think that you must generate love within yourself first. Otherwise it's taking, not giving, and your life lies with someone else. Take your life in your own hands, love yourself, then.... You have capacity to "share".

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posted October 04, 2014 05:54 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ellynlvx:
You must be So Cute!

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Dunno, do know virtually every relationship I've been in it sort of works that way.

Before I know, "..hmm, I'm seeing a lot of her, how did this happen, oh I know, she offered to do x y or z and we just stuck together afterwards.."

I'm a Saggie sun, and in relationships that really comes out, committment is usually the other persons idea, I'm somewhat happy alone w/occasionally going out to socialize with friends.

Fridays have gone from hanging out with the fellas to 2 hr walk and talks up and down the mtn side. By the time we get done I'm to tired to go out all night..just the way she planned lol!

posted October 04, 2014 05:56 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
^ If lust disturbs you you are going to be perpetually disturbed by men. Lust and love are intertwined for men. A man can not love a woman in a romantic sense unless he lusts after her.

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Hmm, cannot agree with that completely AG, do think a tone is set early on for the relationship, mostly about sex or something a bit deeper.

posted October 04, 2014 05:58 PM            

quote:

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They are waiting for that perfect person to drop out of the thin blue sky.

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posted October 04, 2014 06:16 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
But why does lust disturb you? It's just a part of human nature.

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posted October 04, 2014 06:25 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:

Hmm, cannot agree with that completely AG, do think a tone is set early on for the relationship, mostly about sex or something a bit deeper.

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posted October 04, 2014 06:27 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by deepseablues:
I never said he was being rude, nor inappropriate. That view on love sincerely saddened me and made my stomach flip, but everyone is entitled to their opinions. The thought that I may have or could possibly get into a relationship with someone who would just view me as someone to hang out with and have sex with until they are sick of me LITERALLY makes me feel sick and very sad. I would only want to get involved in a relationship with someone if I thought the love was going to be true, and I don't even believe in marriage, but true love has nothing to do with marriage. I was not being melodramatic or histrionic
(histrionic: 1. of or related to actors or acting.
2. excessively dramatic, insincere, or artificial)
Everything I expressed (or ever express) was how I truly feel and in no way acting, insincere or artificial. Yes maybe I do feel too much or too intensely, but please, PixieJane, stop pretending like you know everything/everyone or call people false because of your own inability to feel deeply, sincerely and without lust. I am disturbed by lust, you are fine with it. Does not make me false or melodramatic/histrionic. Was Linda Goodman being melodramatic in her views on love/lust and Twin Souls and in Gooberz or was that sincere emotion?? Perhaps I should stay off the internet (or more correctly this site, as I barely use the internet at all, I do not partake in any social media whatsoever beyond this site, but do use the internet for information/articles and the like) but perhaps so should everyone then

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You didn't say he was being rude...but you WERE being melodramatic (as in excessively dramatic) as you talked about despair and crying yourself to sleep over a cruel, cruel world just because AG doesn't believe in true love...especially when he's obviously of a minority opinion.

My response wasn't a zing at you but a response to him. He seemed to fear that he had said something inappropriate to upset you so but wasn't sure what, so I was just trying to make him feel better since he had done nothing wrong.

However, given that you've shared contempt for people at LL before I feel no need to refrain from being just as blunt with you as you are with others, should the circumstances warrant it.

And no Linda Goodman wasn't being melodramatic for her opinion because she never went on about how sick everyone made her and how she was going to cry herself to sleep over a cruel, cruel world just because someone didn't believe in true love. Most people aren't which is why they don't need to stay off the internet, they don't cry and fall into despair every time someone says something they don't like. You're being eaten alive without anyone even trying and a great many souls on the internet will eat you up and spit you out on purpose as well as show far more cynicism and outright hatred than Aquaguy...even more than yourself.

posted October 04, 2014 06:36 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
Dunno, do know virtually every relationship I've been in it sort of works that way.

Before I know, "..hmm, I'm seeing a lot of her, how did this happen, oh I know, she offered to do x y or z and we just stuck together afterwards.."

I'm a Saggie sun, and in relationships that really comes out, committment is usually the other persons idea, I'm somewhat happy alone w/occasionally going out to socialize with friends.

Fridays have gone from hanging out with the fellas to 2 hr walk and talks up and down the mtn side. By the time we get done I'm to tired to go out all night..just the way she planned lol!

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You're Cracking me up, man.

Makes me think of that Eddie Cochrane song Stephen King writes about. Even mentions a Sag!

See:

quote:

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Up on the twelfth I started to drag
Fifteenth floor I'm a-ready to sag
Get to the top, I'm too tired to rock

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posted October 04, 2014 06:42 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hannaramaa:
Because not being able to separate the two is disturbing. Women can do it, but men can't? Men just... can't? Without even trying? That's absurd. All it takes is thinking differently (not in that "positive thinking" way) a little introspection...can go a long way. I completely understand Deepseablue resenting being a woman, even though I myself like it / am fine with it most of the time.

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posted October 04, 2014 06:52 PM            

"so do you want to do X?"

"Sure"

Then the blocks of time become more set into stone, then it sort of grows from there until most of the free time is gone and they know my schedule better than I know it..lol!

As AG's pov, I chalk that up to being a young guy, as one matures one discovers going sexual at first drives her away.

Ruining what could be a good thing if it were given time, there is mutual attraction then it grows from there.

posted October 04, 2014 06:59 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:

Hmm, cannot agree with that completely AG, do think a tone is set early on for the relationship, mostly about sex or something a bit deeper.

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posted October 04, 2014 07:02 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Of course. I simply meant that lust is an important part of romantic love. You can have an insane mental/emotional connection but if you don't feel that lust/passion it will never get past a friendship. This does not just apply to men, it applies to women too. The only difference is most men don't lie about it, they own up to it.

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Okay sparky, what one apparently knows nothing at all about is sometimes attraction/lust what have you can blossom over time as well.

I do love the microwave mentality you seem to have, it is quite humorous