posted October 04, 2014 07:04 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:

How funny, it is also very true, every serious relationship I've been has followed that pattern.

"so do you want to do X?"

"Sure"

Then the blocks of time become more set into stone, then it sort of grows from there until most of the free time is gone and they know my schedule better than I know it..lol!

As AG's pov, I chalk that up to being a young guy, as one matures one discovers going sexual at first drives her away.

Ruining what could be a good thing if it were given time, there is mutual attraction then it grows from there.

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posted October 04, 2014 07:05 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
Okay sparky, what one apparently knows nothing at all about is sometimes attraction/lust what have you can blossom over time as well.

I do love the microwave mentality you seem to have, it is quite humorous

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posted October 04, 2014 07:12 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Padre35:
[b]
How funny, it is also very true, every serious relationship I've been has followed that pattern.

"so do you want to do X?"

"Sure"

Then the blocks of time become more set into stone, then it sort of grows from there until most of the free time is gone and they know my schedule better than I know it..lol!

As AG's pov, I chalk that up to being a young guy, as one matures one discovers going sexual at first drives her away.

Ruining what could be a good thing if it were given time, there is mutual attraction then it grows from there.

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And here is where your PUA mentality is leading you astray, among adults there are other interests that make people attractive other than a raw 1-10 scale of "hawt or not"

We have these things called lives and people we'd want in our lives and people we do not.

As for your rejections, the funny thing to me is I fairly good success dating girls in their early 20's mostly because I'm NOT an immature frat boy type, nor particularly thirsty.

posted October 04, 2014 07:20 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
And here is where your PUA mentality is leading you astray, among adults there are other interests that make people attractive other than a raw 1-10 scale of "hawt or not"

We have these things called lives and people we'd want in our lives and people we do not.

As for your rejections, the funny thing to me is I fairly good success dating girls in their early 20's mostly because I'm NOT an immature frat boy type, nor particularly thirsty.

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posted October 04, 2014 07:22 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Padre35:
[b] Okay sparky, what one apparently knows nothing at all about is sometimes attraction/lust what have you can blossom over time as well.

I do love the microwave mentality you seem to have, it is quite humorous

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Not at all, just know what I have to offer and they can like it or not like it, fine with me.

What I have seen out an about is this:

Women say from 30-23 or so, are in a less than ideal situation between the Dbag with Abs and decent guys who look at them like the only bottle of water in the middle of the desert

IE all that is being offered to them is some guy's lust for them, making said guy "potential stalker/creeper" who gets hit with the ***** shield ASAP.

There is another way, wait for it, be interesting, self involved, but willing to wait for it..talk with them in a fun, flirty manner? Fairly obvious what is going on (to them) but w/o the pressure to have instant sex like..now..ie microwave sex.

posted October 04, 2014 07:25 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:

As for your rejections, the funny thing to me is I fairly good success dating girls in their early 20's mostly because I'm NOT an immature frat boy type, nor particularly thirsty.

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posted October 04, 2014 07:27 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by hannaramaa:
[b]
A mental/emotional connection is important but if you don't feel that lust/passion you are just friends.

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posted October 04, 2014 07:28 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Padre35:
[b] And here is where your PUA mentality is leading you astray, among adults there are other interests that make people attractive other than a raw 1-10 scale of "hawt or not"

We have these things called lives and people we'd want in our lives and people we do not.

As for your rejections, the funny thing to me is I fairly good success dating girls in their early 20's mostly because I'm NOT an immature frat boy type, nor particularly thirsty.

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And here is where the idea of attraction growing over time comes in.

And that cuts both ways, you can have a perfect body that is attractive however for whatever reason, she/he may just not dig that person in a personally sexual way.

Things like Height, personality, image, all play roles in that happening.

An example a women may prefer taller guys, however once they get to know a man of avg height they may find they really like him.

posted October 04, 2014 07:31 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Padre35:
[b]

As for your rejections, the funny thing to me is I fairly good success dating girls in their early 20's mostly because I'm NOT an immature frat boy type, nor particularly thirsty.

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Funny thing is most younger women have no idea who that is AG.

posted October 04, 2014 07:32 PM            

quote:

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I'm sort of the opposite AG, it is not a lack of interest it is more the strings and obligations that come with a relationship that I just do not want in my life

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posted October 04, 2014 07:34 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hannaramaa:
As a whole, yes, but neither is guaranteed to happen simultaneously.

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Exactly! This is why the line of thinking that either sex will happen instantly, or it will never happen, is a bit outlandish.

I doubt this will make sense to AG BUT when you are not the guy hitting on her, in a sea full of guys who stand out, it creates attraction via being different

posted October 04, 2014 07:35 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
And here is where the idea of attraction growing over time comes in.

And that cuts both ways, you can have a perfect body that is attractive however for whatever reason, she/he may just not dig that person in a personally sexual way.

Things like Height, personality, image, all play roles in that happening.

An example a women may prefer taller guys, however once they get to know a man of avg height they may find they really like him.

Happens all the time

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posted October 04, 2014 07:36 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Odette:
Padre -
I'm the same.
I feel suffocated by the idea of having obligations. It bothers me a lot because I've already taken on too much in my life.
I feel like I have no time or energy to have a proper relationship.

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The feeling of obligation and needing permissions to do things is just not what I want.

This is why imo, there are so many FWB situations, companionship and fun w/o the emotional implications.

posted October 04, 2014 07:39 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:

Exactly! This is why the line of thinking that either sex will happen instantly, or it will never happen, is a bit outlandish.

I doubt this will make sense to AG BUT when you are not the guy hitting on her, in a sea full of guys who stand out, it creates attraction via being different

This is why I had a great vacation lol!

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posted October 04, 2014 07:40 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Padre35:
[b] And here is where the idea of attraction growing over time comes in.

And that cuts both ways, you can have a perfect body that is attractive however for whatever reason, she/he may just not dig that person in a personally sexual way.

Things like Height, personality, image, all play roles in that happening.

An example a women may prefer taller guys, however once they get to know a man of avg height they may find they really like him.

Happens all the time

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More or less, his lil ego cannot handle it.

As for his looks, who knows? There is an odd confidence loop that happens.

Meet more people, confidence grows along with a sort of entitlement mentality that "she should find me attractive, everyone else does!"

And he acts like it more than likely

As for your case, and being thirsty, keep in mind most women notice EVERYTHING, it is quite possible you do not realize that is how you are coming off to them.

As for not hitting on women, well that would be an issue, sort of like winking in the dark..no one can see it.

posted October 04, 2014 07:48 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Haha I don't even know why I let myself get lured into this conversation. I know what I know and nobody is going to change my mind. But feel free to think what you want.

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Oh I know, we have had this conversation a dozen times, more or less I'm just hashing out my own thoughts on the subject.

posted October 04, 2014 07:52 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Padre,
So let me get this straight. If I hit on women, it's a problem but if I don't hit on women it's also a problem? If that's the case It would seem to me that i'm d*mned if I do and d*mned if I don't. That's not really new to me, in fact it's the reason I got off the hamster wheel. Let the other men deal with that crap, I don't have time for it.

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Eh, fun tho, as I've said subtext is everything, inow it is not so much what you say as how you say it and your body language etc.

To most ppl it would not appear that the two are flirting when in reality there is flirting going on like crazy.

posted October 04, 2014 07:53 PM              

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
You didn't say he was being rude...but you WERE being melodramatic (as in excessively dramatic) as you talked about despair and crying yourself to sleep over a cruel, cruel world just because AG doesn't believe in true love...especially when he's obviously of a minority opinion.

My response wasn't a zing at you but a response to him. He seemed to fear that he had said something inappropriate to upset you so but wasn't sure what, so I was just trying to make him feel better since he had done nothing wrong.

However, given that you've shared contempt for people at LL before I feel no need to refrain from being just as blunt with you as you are with others, should the circumstances warrant it.

And no Linda Goodman wasn't being melodramatic for her opinion because she never went on about how sick everyone made her and how she was going to cry herself to sleep over a cruel, cruel world just because someone didn't believe in true love. Most people aren't which is why they don't need to stay off the internet, they don't cry and fall into despair every time someone says something they don't like. You're being eaten alive without anyone even trying and a great many souls on the internet will eat you up and spit you out on purpose as well as show far more cynicism and outright hatred than Aquaguy...even more than yourself.

And btw, I'm demisexual. Ironically, I feel a lot less lust than others do but am bothered a lot less by it (which I figure in part because it doesn't hold so much power over me).

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I have not shown contempt for the actual people on LL yes some of the opinions have made me feel bad or even ill, but not the actual people themselves. Yes I am constantly eaten alive, in real life or on the internet. do you think it is fun? Do think someone chooses to feel nauseous? And I didn't cry myself to sleep but it did bring tears to my eyes.

Even Linda said, hate the sin, not the sinner. And I do hate some of the sins and have "contempt" for the sins, but not the sinners themselves.

posted October 04, 2014 07:56 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
Eh, fun tho, as I've said subtext is everything, inow it is not so much what you say as how you say it and your body language etc.

To most ppl it would not appear that the two are flirting when in reality there is flirting going on like crazy.

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posted October 04, 2014 07:58 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Padre35:
[b] Eh, fun tho, as I've said subtext is everything, inow it is not so much what you say as how you say it and your body language etc.

To most ppl it would not appear that the two are flirting when in reality there is flirting going on like crazy.

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I believe it to be a small part of a societal push to infect itself with an excuse virus.

It is never the persons fault, it is always X,Y, or Z's fault.

posted October 04, 2014 08:22 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
I believe it to be a small part of a societal push to infect itself with an excuse virus.

It is never the persons fault, it is always X,Y, or Z's fault.

Have things to do, arrivaderry!

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posted October 04, 2014 09:04 PM              

I L O V E people and of course like socializing with any and everyone, that has always made it incredibly easy for me to date a guy shortly after breaking up from a long term relationship. I've only had longer term relationships. The love part normally takes a lot of time for me.