posted October 04, 2014 09:51 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Padre,
That comment shows how ignorant you are on the subject. You always talk about body language and stuff and the thing is people with asperger's syndrome can't read body language/nonverbal communication or if they can their ability to do it is impaired. Basically I won't know what's on your mind unless you tell me.. I'm not going to be able to look at the position of your feet or some other part of your body and think "oh, padre is obviously feeling X,Y,Z emotion, i should ask him what's up!" Like I said, It is what it is... You are free to think whatever you want.

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AG, whether you are an aspie, or not, the real question is whether you will choose to overcome it, or not.

posted October 04, 2014 10:35 PM            

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Originally posted by Padre35:
AG, whether you are an aspie, or not, the real question is whether you will choose to overcome it, or not.

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posted October 04, 2014 11:10 PM            

here's the thing - or the thing that I have learned in my many years of experience here on earth....

There is not a "ONE" and only fish in this sea that is meant for you. That's a terrible fairy-tale that trips a lot of people up and causes them a lot of heartache. There's no such thing as a twin flame person here on earth that is meant to be your one and only and who understands you like no one else. That relationship is supposed to happen within yourself. Then the rest of your relationships fall into place, but they never take the place of that one.

It would be too hard to find that "one and only" person. In a world full of people and continents you most likely never get to.

There are TONS of people out there that are your perfect match - TONS!

Even if it's not a forever match. Nothing in this life is forever.
Only the love that you share and leave behind is forever.

You start finding them when you are mature, comfortable, at home with, and know yourself. You'd be amazed at how many people you can fall in love with and how many "soul mates" or "twin flames" are out there when you reach a point of completion within.

The whole notion that there is only one person out there that is meant for you, to me seems very immature. (just my opinion)

As I get older I am noticing that if you know yourself well, you are able to know others well and only then can you love them for who they are.

The people and partners you meet will reflect back to you what you need to learn, and you will attract those that are able to teach you how to be a better lover (& i don't mean sexually). It's about you. Not a long drawn out search to find a perfect match. You'll find it in everyone you meet when you've found it within first.

posted October 04, 2014 11:20 PM            

A keen and honest eye will help explain to you why you attract the people you do. You can then learn from it and move on to better or keep repeating the same mistakes until you get it.

All I'm saying is I think every encounter is a soulmate encounter & there is no such thing as one fish in the sea for you.

posted October 04, 2014 11:22 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Padre35:
[b] AG, whether you are an aspie, or not, the real question is whether you will choose to overcome it, or not.

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Here is the thing AG, we have a "kid" at work, just turned 20, he said he has Asperger's. But he is trying to overcome it

He did things like got contact lenses, got his license, is trying to get his GED, is trying to make small talk etc

He is awkward and does do things like play lots of video games, watches lots of cartoons, and watches copious amount of film on his smart phone during lunch breaks.

Until he puts that stuff down and does the work his efforts will be scatter shot.

If this kid can at least try and take concrete steps with that list of negatives then surely you can as well.

posted October 04, 2014 11:39 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
Here is the thing AG, we have a "kid" at work, just turned 20, he said he has Asperger's. But he is trying to overcome it

He did things like got contact lenses, got his license, is trying to get his GED, is trying to make small talk etc

He is awkward and does do things like play lots of video games, watches lots of cartoons, and watches copious amount of film on his smart phone during lunch breaks.

Until he puts that stuff down and does the work his efforts will be scatter shot.

If this kid can at least try and take concrete steps with that list of negatives then surely you can as well.

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posted October 04, 2014 11:57 PM            

Let's say we took 100 male Knowflakes & 100 female Knowflakes and dropped them off (by parachute) on a deserted island to spend the rest of their lives.

I'd be willing to bet that in 5 - 15 years, at least 80% of them would have paired up and have become lifelong partners and think they are "soul mates" (whether hetero or homosexual unions, doesn't matter)

My point is, we are reflections of each other and gravitate towards the ones we need most - no matter how small or large the pool is. We are connected and can always find ourself through the other.

posted October 05, 2014 08:00 AM            

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Originally posted by ueharaa:
If there's something that has always boggled my mind, it is how some people just seem to go in and out of relationship, long term relationship with ease and then some others just struggle to even get into one.

At a point I thought: is there such a thing as being more skilled in finding a good match or what s it really that makes people very different in terms to romance.
I've also asked myself if somehow those who were struggling were too difficult, had high standards or were probably looking for an outstanding connection which in turn just made it rare. And maybe those who have an easy time really settle for less.

So what do you think?

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I could find a boyfriend (aka gain the "in a relationship" status)(not that I'm on Facebook) if I wanted to have one. I could be with him long-term if I wanted to be in a relationship (aka avoid being single) and he wanted the same. What is much more difficult to find is the connection I desire. The only thing that would make me consider pairing up with someone.

People seek, enter and continue relationships for a myriad of reasons. Do yourself a favor and don't compare yourself to them. If you could take a look into their minds you'd pity lots of them or even feel repulsed by their motives.

posted October 06, 2014 02:18 PM            

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Originally posted by teasel:
I agree with Odette.

There do seem to be lucky souls who are in love every time, but the majority of people I see moving from one person to another, are just doing that so they won't be alone.

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posted October 06, 2014 11:45 PM            

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
Adding to what T said, all my close partners helped me grow and understand myself and the world better. I'd be less rich had I been bereft of any of them. I must admit one ended so painfully that if I had the chance to DELETE the entire experience I'd be tempted, though ideally I'd have followed my head (which understood the truth from the beginning) over my heart (which chose to believe something else and thus led me into folly and caused us both pain) and kept it a fling rather than a relationship meant to be for the rest of our lives.

Still, there's so much more to life than finding lovers and flings, and not just friends, mentors, and chance met strangers that can also be valuable but also things to be gained from alone time.

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Sometimes the most painful relationships are were the most growth happen.

Glib I know, and sucks at the time those lessons though are never unlearned

posted October 30, 2014 09:33 PM              

Dunno if you'll see this or even care but you asked me in this thread why lust bothers me so much. I do know part of the reason why, and should have said this at the time but had too much other stuff on my mind. Part of the reason why lust is so bothersome to me is cause in a "past" lifeline I was forced/sold into sexual slavery, as was one of my ancestors as well. The memory resides in my soul, of being abused for a lifetime because of lust. It's overt lust and over-sexualization that bothers me the most.