posted July 19, 2015 10:59 PM            

Anyhoo...

I'll kick this thread off with some of my own random rambles. I can only remember two of them right now (though I had more in mind...).

1) The battle of the sexes over toilet seat positioning. Why is that women assert the toilet seat should always be left down? Let's look at this logically. There are two positions for the toilet seat: up, and down. One position (down) is more convenient for the ladies; the other position (up) is more convenient for the men. Isn't it unfair, ladies, for you to insist that it always be left in the position that's more convenient for you? "Fair" would be leaving it each position 50% of the time.

2) The overwhelming tendency for women who are "attractive" by average standards to be shallow. And I'm not being sexist here; this is a uniquely female issue. We all know (or should, by now) that a woman's appearance is of vital importance to her social status, while that is much less true for men. (For men, it's net worth.) From what I've observed in my lifetime, the overwhelming majority of shallow women -- like, 95% -- are very pretty. And it's not hard to figure out why this is so. What happens is that a woman who is born with those features considered generally beautiful finds out early on in life (and children are subconsciously very shrewd, they go with what works) that they can get a lot of what they want by using their looks to their advantage. It seems to me that beautiful women are not encouraged to rely on other, inner, qualities to achieve their ends. (The "fat" and "ugly" ones, not having this advantage, have no choice but to fall back on those other qualities, such as intelligence.) This makes me really, really sad.

Oh, also:
3) Why do meen feed the dynamic described above? Why are they such slaves to their libido? Why do they speak and behave as though sex is a need, on par with food, air, and water? If I had a nickel for every time I've seen a guy extend himself much further than he would in any other situation, just out of hope that he can "get laid" for it, I'd never have to work again. Seriously, guys, grow up a little, and stop treating women like a sexual commodity -- it encourages the women to think of themselves that way, too!

There are some other psychological/social dynamics I'd like to add to the list; I'll post them as they occur to me.

Here's a few more lighthearted ones, too:
PARADOXES
1. Why do we drive on the parkway and park in the driveway??
2. How does a house burn down and burn up at the same time??
3. What do you call a male ladybug??
4. What happens if you get "scared half to death"... twice??

posted July 20, 2015 01:02 AM            

I feel in a lot of these cases the mother teaches the girl to be this way and this superficiality is learned, the mother themselves do not have a college degree and have used their looks to acquire "security"..

posted July 20, 2015 01:08 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by the7thsphere:

Here's a few more lighthearted ones, too:
PARADOXES
1. Why do we drive on the parkway and park in the driveway??
2. How does a house burn down and burn up at the same time??
3. What do you call a male ladybug??
4. What happens if you get "scared half to death"... twice??

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posted July 20, 2015 03:04 AM            

But yes, people are often judged by their appearances, and what is booed in one person is praised in one prettier, and that even applies somewhat to guys so that what gets a restraining order slapped on one guy will be praised in another with better looks (and/or other desirable aspects). Whether it's instinctive or trained is hard to tell, but I recall seeing little kids being interviewed on how to tell a good witch from a bad and virtually every answer was the good witch was pretty and wicked witch ugly. (Btw, I wrote a story when I was 10 which was a revisionist version of Vasilisa the Beautiful in which Vasilisa was the wicked witch and Baba Yaga the misunderstood crone...though in retrospect I realize that I based Vasilisa on my mom who is a former model and Baba Yaga on Granny.)

I find it hard to fault people for wanting to get the most out of that as they can, especially when young when they instinctively seek their own place in society in which their appearance plays an important (for men) or even critical (women) role...heck, even a woman with accomplishments that would be admired in a man will be dismissed over a woman's looks (and being sure to include looks in praising or criticizing her when they--men AND women--wouldn't typically do so to her male colleagues). Never underestimate the power of peer pressure (which can actually spark mass hysteria).

Of course those who give up on looks will find other strengths to foster instead (if they don't just give up or develop eating disorders and the like) and maybe that's just being shallow in a less obvious way.

Meanwhile, those with natural good looks may also become jaded as they get a lot of attention (which provides temptation to abuse it), and may come to believe that people care more about their looks than who they are as a person (this can also happen to men over things like wealth, drive, and even his own looks--the latter especially in the gay community) and thus come to the conclusion that s/he must cash in on it while they still can because there's nothing else to attract other people to them, and they may even be right (at least with whom they end up with and many who hang around them, possibly because such a person tends to be popular as well). To make it worse it seems common that even beautiful partners and spouses get cheated on with the other person being less attractive--though it's not surprising if the actual couple got together over superficial, shallow values who never forged deeper connections to each other.

That is, the lives of beautiful people, even when it comes naturally than through hard work, may find their lives a lot more tedious or depressing than most others realize.

I consider the beauty industry evil but that's another topic. I'm glad that their attempt to ensnare the male population has had little success...but even so eating disorders among males did rise noticeably as the beauty industry focused more attention on the male population (and though I haven't read of expert analysis, stats, or research into it I can't help but notice how many gay males I've run into or heard about with eating disorders and concerned with their looks). And yes, it's really sad. I recently watched modeling vids to get a more nuanced view on the profession and was sad to see how many girls despaired that they couldn't become models, sometimes for trivial reasons, and they felt that this meant they were ugly, and thus worthless.

There's also the media. I'm tired so can't explain it right now (but I probably will later) but essentially there's a lot of media aimed at boys and girls (and men and women) which use "blank slate" characters that they can "put on" and "enter the story." Take Bella in Twilight, if you've seen the films she can come across as very deadpan but that's part of being a blank slate for females to put on, in the book it's much stronger (for example, Bella doesn't name her favorite band, she instead "puts on my favorite band" and the like so that almost everyone into the romance genre and its standard formula can relate to her by subconsciously filling in the blanks with her own personal details--Bella's favorite band is considered the same as the reader's favorite band, for example--and thus to them she seems more like she actually has a real personality that almost every reader can relate to as Bella = reader/viewer). What it does when you're being raised with this over and over is train to you think and idealize certain things.

One reason I was so different (and got far more flack for it from other girls than guys, though I did know guys offended by my differences as well) is because rather than follow up on Disney with more romance and Barbie I instead went with the fantasy aspects and got into scifi/fantasy where women (and romance) often played a very different role. Even Isaac Asimov displayed women as very different in his day (thus beating second-wave feminism to the punch, but of course his stories were in the future where the mind mattered more than muscle, and ethics were more important than the glories of war), and that's how I learned to see the world...obviously there's more to it than that with other influences (plus the various influences tend to overlap so it's hard to tell where one ends and another begins), but that's the gist.

posted July 20, 2015 03:04 AM            

And you may also find this article of interest: http://www.cracked.com/article_19785_5-ways-modern-men-are-trained-to-hate-women.html

Not to single out men as having a problem while women do not...women also learn to develop unrealistic expectations (such as his being able to cover many expenses and still have the energy to wine and dine her, dance, and just be plain passionate and in the mood rather than dead tired from trying to live up to her unrealistic expectations).

posted July 20, 2015 03:55 AM            

Paradoxes:

My mother's husband is an architect. We used to go for drives and he'd point out the names of roadways: parkway, circle, drive, street, place, way... He'd explain why a roadway was named so, the differences, what it meant... Anyways, I never really payed attention, but allow the gemini to point out that the term "park" doesn't only describe where you park a vehicle. A parkway is usually landscaped in some way even if only a median or sidewalk with a strip of grass. Driveway... Parkway... Where we park... Where we drive.... It's all semantics lol!!

Same with burning down and burning up. Temperatures increase, flames flare "up," smoke rises, the home crumbles, ashes fall... There's an image of burning up and down. I guess it all a matter of perspective like that picture where some see an old lady or young woman.

Again with the semantics... This really gets that gem mars going huh?! Lol.

I guess it depends on where one begins! It's possible to travel halfway to somewhere twice if one returns after the first time. Being scared halfway to death twice without returning the first time would be tragic. Wait a minute; there's a flaw in logic here! Lol

3. Aren't we all slaves to our primal instincts (beyond sexual)? We've just become better equipped to make excuses for our driving forces. Our species isn't very complicated. I'm with Nietzsche on human nature and consciousness.

2. See how simple society is! Hahaha! Survival of the fittest: adapt or die. The rest of the animal kingdom does it.

posted July 20, 2015 04:22 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
1. I don't personally care but I can see the lady's side...it comes from waking up at 2 AM to use the toilet and trying to sit down while only half-awake only to fall all the way in...far more disconcerting than accidentally peeing on the toilet lid. Of course the part sat on shouldn't be down when men pee because their aim tends to be lousy.

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ha, that is so true I had forgotten that scenario but yes is at that time when it is annoying really at 2 in the morning when is dark but I suppose if you are dating someone that leaves the toilet up all the time you would know is up and put it down before seating but then he will come in and the toilet sit is down and this cycle of up and down would never end.

posted July 20, 2015 07:36 AM            

Also, what if I get up in the middle of the night, half asleep, and have to go #2, eh? Even if -- especially if -- no woman were involved -- say I live alone, and therefore could leave the toilet seat up constantly -- I'd still need to look at it first to make sure it was down.

Now since you ladies want to defend what I, a Libran master of balance, know perfectly well is unfair and one-sided, I'm going to dedicate number 9 below to you. Especially since I am outnumbered.

posted July 20, 2015 08:09 AM            

*looks at what aquaguy91 filled in as where he's "from"*

A man is born with everything he "needs", aquaguy.

posted July 20, 2015 12:38 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by the7thsphere:
Wow... more and more evidence that I really am the only person in the world whose parents conditioned him to [b]always look at what you're about to sit on before you sit on it! (Of course, this was more about not sitting on a delicate/dangerous object someone may have left on a chair or couch, but the habit would serve a useful purpose in this regard as well.)

Also, what if I get up in the middle of the night, half asleep, and have to go #2, eh? Even if -- especially if -- no woman were involved -- say I live alone, and therefore could leave the toilet seat up constantly -- I'd still need to look at it first to make sure it was down.

Now since you ladies want to defend what I, a Libran master of balance, know perfectly well is unfair and one-sided, I'm going to dedicate number 9 below to you. Especially since I am outnumbered.

MORE PARADOXES AND CONUNDRUMS
5. If 7-11 is always open, why are there locks on the doors??
6. If 'pro' is the opposite of 'con', does that mean 'progress' is the opposite of 'Congress'??
7. If you spin a Chinese person in circles, does he become disoriented??
8. If a turtle loses his shell, is he homeless or naked??
9.:
[/B]

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Like I said originally If I was dating a guy that leaved the toilet sit up I would not make a big deal. I know this bc my brother does that sometimes and I dont get mad or think is a big deal and simply put the toilet sit down and I have even thought to myself how silly that people have huge arguments over this. It has happened to me maybe 1 to 3 times in my life were late at night I go use the toilet and don't turn the light on and fall a little bit but to my defense why would I check when my whole life consists of living with people who typically leave the toilet sit down. If I started living with someone with different habits then I would get in the habit of double checking. I have a lot of mutable so I tend to adapt about stuff likes this, I am not set in my ways...

As for boobies I totally agree you can loook if I am showing them, I only felt truly uncomfortable once with a guy looking at my boobs at a restaurant and I asked my husband to move to the right so he would block view of me from him. I have moon in pisces and I could feel something really off about him.

posted July 20, 2015 12:51 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I see what you did there. However, I have to disagree. Contrary to popular belief, sex isn't a purely physical thing for men. There's also a very strong emotional component to it. There's a sense of validation and connection that can only come when a woman "gives herself to you". You don't get that with your right or left hand. If that was all men needed they wouldn't have a strong urge to connect with women in that way and male virgins past a certain age wouldn't be emotionally and mentally stunted train wrecks.

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My scorpio ex and my aquarius friend and ex lover would agree they seek that and my moon ruling the 8th in pisces gave it to them but I dont think all guys seek that. Guys who are loooking for a one night stand or one time thing or a few time thing are not seeking that. A lot of guys don't want to be transformed and that type of connection transforms you and you will never forget that person and part of you will always care for them and crave them, your souls after that will always be connected.

posted July 20, 2015 05:42 PM            

Do we have a lot of fans of visual clutter here? Maybe scrolling down webpages is the new fad and I didn't realize it?

Pro tip: you can edit the contents of a quote before posting!

"Redundant long post is long." :P

posted July 20, 2015 06:39 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
And about the toilet seat issue... I think the women who would gripe about such a thing are crazy and not even worth having a relationship with, much less living with them. I mean really?!? It would be easier to simply put the toilet seat down than get angry and chew a man out for not doing it for you. My sister is one of those women that gripes about that and she proves my point because she is crazy.

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posted July 20, 2015 06:54 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Vajra:
^Maybe look at it that way: If what you wrote above is true, then men apparently go crazy if they can't regularly have sex with a woman, and women apparently go crazy if they can't sit down on a clean toilet seat devoid of urine droplets on top. The question to ask oneself is, then: Is regular sex actually worth the effort of cleaning up after oneself when done peeing, or not?
Sometimes the art of relationships boils down to such practical questions.

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posted July 20, 2015 06:59 PM            

You dislike women griping about the toilet seat being up.

Woman gripe about men "needing" sex.

posted July 20, 2015 07:09 PM            

quote:

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The overwhelming tendency for women who are "attractive" by average standards to be shallow. And I'm not being sexist here; this is a uniquely female issue.

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It's usually just how people project things onto them.

So if all the pretty women you see are shallow, consider it might not be them.